Why would you hide that in the notes
I want an ice maker and enough room in the freezer for a pizza and that is IT.
I want the dumbest fridge you got. Gimme the orange tabby of refrigeration. I want my fridge to pull the wrong lever and turn my enemies into llamas instead of killing them. I want the following features: keeps things cold, has compartment that keeps things colder, a door that opens and shuts.
“Here at Stupid Jeff’s Dumb Appliance Warehouse we sell the dumbest fucking appliances. Check out this fridge. This fridge won’t ask you about your day, this dumb fucking fridge doesn’t know what an Elon Musk is and won’t fucking tell you what bullshit that dumb monkey is slapping into his phone today when you try to get some fucking milk. We took out all those “smart” electronics and in their place we put a loaded Glock 9mm that is put right up to that light that turns on when you open the door, which is the smartest thing in this fucking stupid fridge and let me tell you that fucker is on thin goddamn ice, if it gets too smart and tries to turn on before you open that door, the Glock will blow it to hell. Speaking of ice, this stupid fridge makes it. It makes ice, it keeps things cold, it comes with shelves. It’s sturdy enough that when your ex comes back to your place looking for their stuff that they think they left behind like nine months ago and they know that you don’t have it, but they wanted an excuse to come start a fight with you and throw a chair at your head but miss you and hit your fridge MICHAEL, this fridge will keep trucking because it gives zero shits and it only lives to keep things cold. Come to Stupid Jeff’s Dumb Appliance Warehouse, if you ask us if we have an app, we break your kneecaps.“
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(I don’t even want an ice maker‚ personally) #(never had an ice maker and never felt the lack) #(and I hear it’s usually by far the earliest part of the fridge to fail) #101 Uses for Infrastructureless Computers #violence cw? #this probably deserves some other warning tag but I am not sure what #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
Brinens and Things 