It’s March 31st, so I figured it was time for the yearly promise:

I will not post any pranking OPs. All April-Fools-related reblogs will be clearly marked as such (using the tag “April Fools”).


#since time has less meaning these days this reminder is all the more important #stay safe out there folks #April Fools

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does this have anything to do with the book or are you just messing around?

yes, there’s a bit where they play Questions, which is like tennis except instead of a ball, you score points if the other person makes a statement


#so apparently there’s context for the previous post #I didn’t know that when I first read it and it was funny anyway so I didn’t tag it ”high context jokes” #but I also offer you the context for those curious #Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead #oh look an update



one of the most fascinating youtube subcultures imo is the MRE taste testing community…like those folks who get their hands on military ready to eat meals and do unboxings and taste tests of them? because usually theyre perfectly normal and just interested in testing what militaries around the world eat right now. but some of these folks go the extra mile. they go so hard they threaten to destroy themselves with their own hubris. some of these people are flying towards the sun at alarming rates and are going to not only melt their wings but also their 100 year old preserved foods, causing them to plummet to their deaths, their corpses reduced to stewing in the seawater mixed with the remains of the WWII soviet pea soup they brought with them. im watching a dude eat meat from a 1902 british military ration right now. my dude is deadass out here calmly trying to become the last casualty of the fucking second boer war. as an archivist and general antiques lover ive put my hands on some horrifyingly old and dirty things but the idea of ingesting legitimate american civil war hardtack makes me want to get my stomach surgically removed and i am just so FASCINATED by these people who see these military antiques and think “nice, there’s lunch right there”

“the smell is just awful” SIR you are BOILING cow meat that predates the FIRST WORLD WAR you are boiling beef from a cow that existed at the same time as ELIZABETH CADY STANTON sir this can of beef was canned during the fucking DREYFUS AFFAIR what pray tell WHAT did you EXPECT from this TURN OF THE CENTURY CAN OF MEAT


#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #food #history #in which Brin has a food poisoning phobia #unsanitary cw


CJ and I were trying to find the proportion of severe cases in Shenzhen by age in this horrible little paper (me, after failing to find the pertinent information after looking at all the important looking graphs: maybe it’s time to read the wall of text. / CJ: I have a better idea. Let’s buy plane tickets to China, find the authors, then murder them.)

At the end, we’ve ‘found’ the right figure for the 30-39 range (The only age range with non-zero severe case proportion under age 40) by… using the screencap tool to measure how many pixels the center of the yellow square at 30-39 is from the bottom, and then measuring how many pixels are between the 0 line and the 0.1 line, and determining that 7 pixels over 53 ~= 0.13, so the fraction of severe cases for that age is 0.1*0.13.


Civilization is maddening!


#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #illness tw #covid19 #fun with statistics #death tw? #murder cw?



With each passing day France’s most influential newspaper slips further into absurdist humour with its lockdown recommendations. Someone asked them today: “Shouldn’t we double our self-isolation measures as we near the peak?” and a journalist replied soberly “Yes, we recommend that you even triple them. Excluding emergencies, you may for example self-isolate at home three times a day: from 7am to 3pm, from 3pm to 11pm, then from 11pm to 7am.”

Another reader (pictured above) questioned these drastic instructions: “This schedule is not convenient for me at all. May I, without danger, push it all back by an hour?”

Le Monde journalist: “That should be okay; as long as you don’t go out these requirements are quite flexible. You can actually stay home up to four times a day if that’s more convenient for you: from 6am to noon, from noon to 6pm, then from 6pm to midnight, and finally from midnight to 6am.”


#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #illness tw #covid19