#my initial reaction to that last statement was doubt‚ but she is in fact right #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(the funniest part is actually the reveal that Whole Foods sponsored this list‚ IMO) #(though if they’d placed Kevin at the bottom for a punchline that could have worked) #food #otters #names #advertising #juxtaposition
Last time, the party confronted the manager of Cabana Jim’s Luxury Resort and Spa, Miriko Watchwood. Her attempt to reestablish vampiric dominance over the resort in the wake of Cabana Jim’s death was ill-advised and doomed, and they successfully foiled it with a combination of cool-headed diplomacy and brutal emotional manipulation. And now… they want to recruit her???
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #bugs #unsanitary cw? #death tw? #(I’d never heard of spotted lanternflies before) #(I looked it up and apparently my area’s winters are right in the grey area where spotted lanternflies can kind of sort of maybe overwinter) #(so I may or may not be seeing them soon) #((apparently they are known to fuck up apple trees‚ grapevines‚ and stonefruit trees))
“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.