one fun thing about being a teacher in march 2023 is that chess is a literal epidemic among teens. we are starting to have meetings about how we can STOP teenagers from playing too much chess which is like if we were trying to figure out how to stop them from reading for fun. When i was in high school five years ago chess was nerd shit only but now it is transcending every social and language barrier and is absolutely rampant. kids aren’t on their phone texting in class anymore it’s ONLY kids are playing chess on their phones while playing chess in real life. this is still better than tiktok because at least the kids are developing an attention span from this

the worst part of this is that they’re on chess dot com instead of getting an education. but the BEST part of this is watching high schoolers develop the weirdest goddamn strategies I’ve ever seen. One of my students invented something he calls the “evil advisor gambit” where he gets a third person to give out constant terrible advice to both teams hoping that his opponent falls for it straight-up or that his opponent thinks HE fell for it and will act accordingly thus worsening their own strategy. he has won every game he has been able to pull off a coordinated evil advisor gambit in. this is chess innovation never before seen in its 700 years on earth


#(I did a bit of poking around and this *appears* to be true) #chess #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once





the difference between yugioh and magic the gathering (as someone who plays neither) is that a yugioh card says like “if you own a Blorbionicus the King of Red Eyes in your pendulum summon zone (but NOT your left pendulum summon zone) you can special summon (NOT ritual or zexal or pendulum summon) sixteen cards named Blorbimini (excluding Maid Blorbimini) to any zone EXCEPT the super double defense zone” and no one can explain this to me but meanwhile a magic the gathering card says “flying. after the end of your turn draw a card” and people are like oh those fools bc the action only goes on the stack after the end of your turn and because of the use of ‘your’ instead of ‘the owner’s’ and because mercury is in gatorade, technically it only resolves during the opponents third upkeep when explicitly you cant draw cards or else a sniper will shoot you


it is my understanding that because one instance of an ability says “when you tap this card you can gain one mana” and another says “tap this card to gain one mana” they are meaningfully distinct and the former may or may not be legally allowable in multiple situations that the latter clearly is (bc of the definitions of a Mana Ability). this has been explained to me and I even vaguely understand the reasons. i still think it is very fucking funny.

God, I hate that I actually know which card(s) this refers to.

Anyway, have one of my favorite images on the internet.


thank you so much I hate this. what do you MEAN +2 and -2 don’t cancel out,


#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(honestly the single funniest part of this is ”mercury is in gatorade”) #Magic the Gathering #fun with loopholes #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once




pick two superpowers

  1. Limited perfect recall: remember information pertaining to your special interests completely and permanently after one exposure
  2. Flow state freeze: Time is paused for everyone else when you’re in a flow state or hyperfocus, and so are your physical needs (e.g. thirst)
  3. Effortlessly graceful movement: Never trip or fumble, acquire physical skills easily
  4. Same-language translator: people always understand what you meant and you understand what they meant, as long as you’re speaking a shared language
  5. Ambient DJ: Replace background noise/music with silence or any sounds of your choosing, for yourself and anyone who opts in
  6. Aura of normalcy: when active, nobody thinks your actions are strange or remarkable, regardless of what you’re doing

All good choices, but I’d go with 3 and 6.

I can pretty much do 1 already, because neurodivergence. 2 would be great, but I went with 3 over 2 because tripping and fucking up my ankles is the bane of my existence. 4 is great, but honestly I’d rather not have to talk with people. 5 is also great, but I have ANC headphones for that. 6, though? I don’t really give a damn if people think I’m weird as a concept, but people keep getting on my case about my weirdness, and I want to be left the fuck alone.

I already have 1 and 3, so I’d do 4 and 6 for sure. I don’t want to pause time for other people, and negotiating how they opt in to my ambient noise sounds hard.


#definitely 5 #(there is way too much background noise and *way* too fucking much background music in this world) #torn between 1 and 3 #probably depends on how much I can cheese 1 #(and whether I can turn it off for infohazards) #…although 4 is kind of tempting now that I think about it #it feels weird to pass up a memory enhancement‚ but I think I might actually go with 4 on this one #2 seems not especially helpful for my neurotype #I think there is a reasonable level of unseriousness to take when playing this game #(or‚ conversely‚ perhaps a reasonable level of desperation) #at which it makes sense to pick 6 #but…like‚ it does suck how often people street-harass me about my assistive tech‚ but #I do not want to respond to this by mind-controlling them about it? #memes #that excuse for communication called speech


my birthday is tomorrow! if you want to do something nice for me for my birthday, one nice thing would be to check out the session logs for Two-Faced Jewel, my formerly-D&D fantasy campaign i’ve been running and writing summary posts for for the past couple years. i’ve put a considerable fraction of my time and creative energy into this for a good long while, and i think like, two people besides the players ever read them? (i very much appreciate both of you. 💙)


there’s an index of all the posts here, and a fun short-form recap of the first twenty-odd sessions here. i think i’ve done a lot of cool and interesting things with it, am seeking sweet sweet validation, and am not above invoking Birthday Law to beg!


#I appreciate you too! <3 #keep up the good work #@readers these are great and y’all should check them out #storytime #recs #scrupolosity cw #reblog coercion cw?




Every time I see a bunch of posts from Neil Gaiman on my feed I think, “Neil… you’re procrastinating writing again, aren’t you”



reblog to tell neil gaiman he’s procrastinating his writing. i love that tumblr can do this


#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #scrupulosity cw?






you can get a couple’s tetanus shots even if you’re just friends.  ESPECIALLY if you’re just friends.  honestly they don’t even care, you can just book your appointment for the same time, it’s no big deal

also: this really is a sequel to a comic that came out 10 years ago and I really did make a Facebook event for it called “SELF, IF YOU ARE STILL ON FACEBOOK WHEN THIS EVENT HAPPENS, THEN WE HAVE MADE SOME BAD FRIGGIN’ DECISIONS” that finally came due today.   so uh, please enjoy the passage of time


#…your regular reminder to get a tetanus shot and/or stop using Facebook‚ I guess #(my next tetanus shot is in November 2024 #–I did not have to look anything up to tell you that: immune bullshit has its perks– #and I’ve never had a Facebook account) #((unless you count the Instagram for doing freelance marketing gigs‚ I suppose)) #…also‚ you know when you switch calendar providers you can just import the calendar from your previous software‚ right? #comics #Dinosaur Comics #vaccines #disappointed permanent resident of The Future #amnesia cw? #this probably deserves some other warning tag but I am not sure what