Anonymous asked: I read that most people have olfactory aphantasia (olphantasia?)

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Hm. I have olfactory imagination, but it’s definitely worse than my visual or auditory imagination. It’s about on par with my gustatory imagination. (I have varied skill in imagination for the various kinds of stimuli generally folded into “touch”, but in general they fall between visual/auditory and olfactory/gustatory. I don’t have a proprioceptive imagination. there are other things that are potentially considered sense that I do not feel like covering one by one)


I bow my imaginary head in sympathy at your lack of proprioceptive imagination.

(I saw somebody in a Typepad comment thread once who was wondering what the quale of thinking in sign language was like, said it was completely alien to his experience. And I looked at that like “…I gesture in my thoughts all the time, the concept of signing your thoughts seems pretty intuitive to me”.)

((I think my ordering goes something like proprioception –> touch –> gustatory –> auditory –> visual –> olfactory.))


#reply via reblog #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see

Anonymous asked: I read that most people have olfactory aphantasia (olphantasia?)


Hm. I have olfactory imagination, but it’s definitely worse than my visual or auditory imagination. It’s about on par with my gustatory imagination. (I have varied skill in imagination for the various kinds of stimuli generally folded into “touch”, but in general they fall between visual/auditory and olfactory/gustatory. I don’t have a proprioceptive imagination. there are other things that are potentially considered sense that I do not feel like covering one by one)



#zeroth degree asks

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Brain noise





“Average person actually contains five to six wolves. Inverse Wolves Georg, who lives in a cave and contains negative forty billion wolves…”

The free associating evidently continues:

“Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain negative forty billion wolves)”

“Each person within themselves has 30 to 50 feral hogs.”

Remember to nourish them well with only the highest quality cocaine


#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #wolves #Spiders Georg


People keep requesting to add my fic to collections and I don’t know if they know this, and I don’t know if people who allow their own stories know this, but once you add your story to a collection, the owner of the collection can perform fuckery with your story.

Like, I’m REALLY glad that collections exist, and I’ve put my work into some collections when I made those things specifically for those collectuons. Collections are a useful tool for things like bangs, where the stories need to be hidden until the reveal….. but that also means that the person in charge has the ability to hide your works from the public. Like, without you agreeing, because you already “agreed” to that by submitting to the collection. Which means works you previously had available suddenly disappear from where people can find them.

What I’m saying is please stop random requests to random people to be in your random collections. I know you probably don’t have ill intentions, but there’s no way to tell. And if you’re getting requests to be part of random collections, please be aware that if you approve them, you won’t be the only one in control of some elements of your posted stories, including whether or not they “exist” to the average reader. If they mark the collection as “unrevealed,” you story stops being accessible to the public. And they have the option to mark the collection “anonymous” which I’m pretty sure turns the author from being You to being Anonymous.

And I say all of this because I have seen this happen to people. I have had friends whose stories “disappeared” because they approved a random collection invite and the collection owner turned everything “unrevealed” (likely without even knowing or understanding that it would hide it for EVERYONE not just hide the collection so no one would see they had it, it’s not like a private bookmark). And while I haven’t seen anyone do this maliciously (at least none I can prove) I can see where it could be USED maliciously. So please, just be careful out there.

I wish AO3 had a way to auto decline collection invites- they gave us a way to auto-accept, so I don’t understand why the opposite isn’t true. If I wanted my story to be part of a collection, I’d submit it myself.



Uhh okay, so someone replied to this that they didn’t know how to remove a work from a collection. 

Copy and past the following link, and where it says “yourusernamehere” type in your AO3 pseud.

This should take you to a page where your works that have been approved for collections resides. You can remove your works from collections by selecting “rejected” instead from the drop down menus.

If the direct link doesn’t work: go to your AO3 dashboard, click “collections” on the side bar, click “manage collected items” button at the top right, click “approved” button at the top right, and you’ll be at the right page to remove your works from collections.



hey! so from someone who tried her hand at making a collection to collect fics centered around a specific theme, I found out a super cool thing! you can create collections of bookmarks.

want to add a fic you love to that super-specific collection you made for Fics With Werewolves Set In London? bookmark it and add the bookmark to your collection! 

no fuss, no muss, no permission required from the author (since it’s YOUR bookmark), no chance of fucking up their fic (since it’s YOUR bookmark), presto chango, you have a collection that rocks but doesn’t rock a poor fic writer’s boat!



Thank you for this info, this is very valuable (and relieving) knowledge.

So please, as readers, this is a MUCH BETTER option!!



that IS better!!! and I haven’t investigated it much, but it also seems like this would give you an easy way to make both Secret Private Collections (either with the collection settings or by making the bookmarks themselves private) AND public shareable collections – because, look, I also don’t like having my work put into random collections, but I have used those collections to find fics on a theme I was interested in, public collections are a legitimately useful thing to have! it’s just the actual mechanics of how collections are built that’s the problem. so. BOOKMARK COLLECTIONS!


#AO3 #the more you know


“One time my Nanny and the Gardener were having a heated argument in the car and he took her Queen tape out of the player and threw it out the window with rage and she looked him dead in the eyes and pulled out a second copy of that same tape and put it back in the player.”

— Warlock, probably



@meowl00 @personification-of-anxiety @gayvetforlife



Warlock becomes a stand up comedian when he grows up. He becomes the John Mulaney of his time. This is his equivalent of “one black coffee”.



I can totally envision Warlock’s version of the duck story!

One day when I was ten, the gardener comes into the house soaking wet and says, in that voice one usually reserves for toddlers or small animals, “Ah! One feels like a duck splashing around in all this wet! And when one feels like a duck, one is happy!” And then Nanny yelled, “Ooh, ducklings!” To which the gardener replied, “Too old to be a duckling. Quack, quack.” And then walked into the kitchen. I think about that every goddamn day.



I can’t believe I never saw this until now. Headcanon accepted. This is beyond hilarious. Also….


I can’t believe this one was hidden in the replies.



“I love my family, or at the very least people would assume so. People would think that growing up as a politician’s son would be easy, and they are right. I got everything that I ever asked for, spending money the only way Rick People could spend money.

“Dad! I want a Pony” Boom, Pony is at my feet

“Dad! I wanted it black” Boom. Done. Pony now looks like it crawled out of the Black Lagoon.

“Dad! The Pony glared at me!” I get a bottle of glue the next day. I was living the Rickie Rich lifestyle. I can have anything I want.

But the best part of growing up rich, the absolute best part, was that we were able to afford our own nanny.

I love her so much but am goddamn terrified of her to this day. I am a 28 year old man and I live in my own bodyweight of fear towards her.

When I was 1 to when I was 11, we had a nanny in our house. Her name is Nanny. If you call her anything else you will die. Somedays I think that my parents made a Rumpelstiltskin Deal with her before I was born, where instead of taking baby me she just moved in to our house to raid our fridge and judge the world from lofty windows. This is just the first part of the mystery of my nanny.  

She dresses like she is preparing to go to a funeral. And the difference between preparing to go and actually going is that they hadn’t found the body yet. You know when friends say that they would kill someone for you? Nanny would gut a cat if I wanted to play the violin that’s how hardcore she was. She wore red sunglasses because her glare alone could turn anyone to stone. If you squint hard enough you can actually see lasers coming out of her eyes.

Now you need to remember, I lived with this woman for Ten Years. Since I was a baby. This shit was normalized to me. While my parents were in West Wing I was living in the Addams Family. Nanny loved me and raised me and so what if she told me that I was going to lead Satan’s Army someday. That’s just Nanny. But throughout all of this, I never truly understand how terrifying she could be until I was 8 years old.

Picture this: a little 8 year old me, plump and trimmed with baby fat, standing next to Mary Poppin’s evil twin. One day we were going out for brunch so I can, and I’m quoting here “practice giving out orders when the army of hell arrives”

I’m still waiting for them, just to let you know.

So we get inside Nanny’s car, an old Black 1933 Bently which plays nothing but Queen music on cassettes.

I know this sounds fake, but she is a real person and not some Baba Yaga who decided not to eat me.

As we were about to leave, Brother Francis ran out to us. Francis was out gardener. He worked for us for as long as Nanny has, wears suspenders and a sun hat, and I’m pretty sure he ran away from a monastery. He walks up to Nanny and asks for a ride to the local gardening store for supplies. So he gets in the front seat, I’m in the back, and all three of us get on our way.

At 1000 miles per hour in a 55 zone.

Now I’m 8 years old. And no matter how cool your Nanny is, you just don’t pay attention to boring adult stuff like meetings, or finances, or traffic safety laws. So I’m lost in my own thoughts on how to direct my hell army to build myself a waterpark.

I don’t know how long I zoned out because when I snapped back in Nanny and Francis were arguing. Not in the pleasant passive aggressive way that makes you rethink your life choices, but full on yelling. So we are speeding down the road like death is chasing us. Bohemian Rhapsody is playing on blast. Nanny and Francis screaming at each other. Sulfur filled the air, radiant light pulsed menacing around us. Exactly how I imagined what parents fighting would be like. Things came to a head right as Freddy was about to hit his last “For Me!” because that was when this meek looking gardener snapped. Francis turns to Nanny and screams “YOU’RE DRIVING TOO FAST!” yanks the cassette out and pitches it out the window.

And then time stood still.

Have you ever been on a rollercoaster where at the top of the first hill staring down you regret every decision you’ve ever made that led you to this point? That was where we were all at.

Because there were three rules to Nanny’s Bently. Nanny always drives. Nanny always drives fast. And Nanny always drives fast with Freddy Mercury blaring down like her own personal angel.

This is all new uncharted territory for me. I’ve never seen anyone even dare disrespect her angel and plan to live to tell the tale. I was just watching in fascinated horror as this moment just searing into my mind.

Nanny’s looking directly at Francis, you can feel her eye’s heat laser’s charging up. I was trying to think of reasons to tell my parents why we don’t have a gardener anymore. Because even at 8 years old I know a death marker when I’ve seen one and by the end of the trip I was expecting Francis to be nothing but a smoldering piled of ash and a $15 hat.

She looks at him, and takes one hand off the wheel. Still barreling down the road like a madman mind you. But it alright because time’s frozen so we don’t hit anything. And with one hand, she reaches in front of him to the glove compartment, gently pulls out another cassette tape, and places it in the deck.


[sings] “FOR ME!!!!!”

We pull into the parking lot by the time Bohemian Rhapsody ends and I have never looked at Nanny the same way ever again. Because anyone who can play the exact same song on two different cassettes without missing a beat is their own god and needs to be feared.”

-Warlock in his comedy special






That’s it. The “Warlock grows up to be John Mulaney” AU is the only AU I’m here for.


#Good Omens #fanfic #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #death tw

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I think if you’re writing porn online in this day and age and you have any sort of audience, even if you say “18+ only”, some teenagers are going to read it

(as well as some older people who for whatever reason don’t have much sexual and romantic experience)

and so part of Doing Porn Ethically is trying to make your porn something that you’d be okay with a very inexperienced person reading and drawing conclusions about sex from. and so some of that is trying to be realistic about the emotions involved with sex, about safer sex practices, about sexual ethics, and about the mechanics of sex and then when for whatever reason you don’t want to be realistic signposting ACTUALLY USING CONDOMS IS A VERY GOOD IDEA AND YOU SHOULD NOT RAPE OR ABUSE PEOPLE AND ALSO COME IS GENERALLY PRODUCED IN MUCH SMALLER QUANTITIES THAN THIS STORY CLAIMS



(I have a nagging feeling that I’ve misunderstood something here. I will tentatively post this anyway, but I might have gotten something wrong. (Although it’s also possible that the thing I’m wrong about is the sense that I’ve misunderstood something.))

Hmm. I’m so biased in favour of this that I can’t tell whether or not I actually agree with it on its own merits, rather than agreeing on the grounds of “I personally enjoy porn more when it’s about realistic ethical stuff, and I would like to encourage people to write their porn in a way I prefer”.

(Like…judging from context, this post was likely inspired by a post from yournaturalstate. I dislike yournaturalstate’s work primarily because it’s *unpleasant*, before even getting into any ethical considerations.)

I’m not sure whether this is a point in favour, or a point against, or a tangent, but it’s something related:

Mind-control porn in particular has problems with people insisting on putting blanket Do Not Try This At Home warnings on *everything*. Even things that are actually perfectly ethical and realistic. Even things that are thinly fictionalised scene logs of sex the author actually had (as an enthusiastically consenting bottom).

Written on the entrance to the largest and most well-known mind-control erotica repository are the words:

“The situations described here are at best impossible or at worst highly immoral in real life. Anyone wishing to try this stuff for real should seek psychological help and/or get a life.” (emphasis original)

(This warning is *not true*. Not in all cases.)

So personally, when I think of porn messing up impressionable teenagers, I think of teenagers being told they have to choose between being ethical (or safe) and satisfying their most deeply held desires. This dilemma is terrible enough when it *actually exists*; we *should not tell people it exists where it does not*, should not inflict that on more people than absolutely necessary.

(I say this as a former impressionable teenager falsely told her sexuality could not be safely fulfilled.)

…now that I’ve written that out, I guess this section is a point in-favour-but-with-reservations, pointing out a possible failure mode of a generally good idea. (And a failure mode the original context in question is particularly prone to, at that.)

(Well, okay, yournaturalstate specifically is not prone to it *enough*. But still, I’ve learned the hard way how easy it is to swing too far the other way.)



I think that noting which things are actually perfectly ethical and realistic is, in fact, part of having your porn be good sex ed. Misinforming people is bad sex ed. 



An excellent point. I agree.


#relevant to the latest discourse #nsfw text #sexuality and lack thereof #discourse cw?









M: “What’s your name?”

R: “Rudolph.”

M: “What’s your real name, Rudolph?”

R: “… Red-Nose.”

M: “Quite a talent you have there, Red-Nose.”






The only holiday post worth the season


#every single time I hear ”Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” I think about this post #Tumblr traditions #Christmas #art #fanart #comic #X Men #crossovers