when someone tries to explain how to do something and all you hear is
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog
Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters
they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay
“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”
“Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”
“He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”
“It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”
“If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly – again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”
You forgot the best one though-
“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.”
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #may or may not have reblogged this before #Douglas Adams
Tourist: Could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
New Yorker: No, but I could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant.
Tourist: I came here to have a good time and honestly I am feeling so attacked right now.
#I always did feel bad for the tourist in that example chat post #there’s no need to be so judgey #sometimes you just need some goddamn Olive Garden #like that thing I’ve heard people more widely travelled than I am talk about #where you’re in a very foreign place #and start to get overwhelmed by the strangeness and unfamiliarity of everything around you #and what you do #is you go to McDonalds and you buy some Chicken McNuggets #even if you don’t really *like* McDonalds #because a Chicken McNugget is always a Chicken McNugget #and once you have steadied yourself on that touchstone #you will be able to go out and bear the barrage of newness again #(and even if you are not feeling overwhelmed) #(sometimes you just want some Chicken McNuggets and that is okay) #tag rambles
Imagine it has a moon or two. And maybe the moon isn’t like ours at all- maybe it has water on it, trees, plants. Hanging up there in the sky, a little world that is out of reach for all of history.
Imagine the fairy tales set on the moon. Imagine the myths, the religions. Is it heaven? The home of the gods? The promised land? What could be up there?
Imagine thousands of years of history, with people looking up at the moon and wondering what lay there waiting for them.
Imagine a moon, orbiting a planet. A moon with oceans and rivers and forests. Imagine a civilization living on that moon. A whole race of people on that tiny world, evolving there as it zipped around the mother planet.
Imagine what the people on that moon would think of that magnificent planet, engulfing their sky every night. The monsters that might live there, the angels, the miracles.
As they build villages and castles, palaces and cities.
Imagine two totally separate forms of life, evolving separately for billions of years, orbiting each other but completely unaware that the other exists. History rolls on and on and on.
But someday, at least one of the worlds will discover electricity.
Will start to make street lights, lights that shine through the dark.
Imagine that one day, you look up into the sky….and on that other world….for the first time ever….you see lights.
Sometimes I write things, and they aren’t feminism or anything, I just want to share them. -shrugs-
#(the following category tag was added retroactively:) #story ideas I will never write
There is nothing I did not love about the International Asexual Conference~
Where did that flag come from? I want a flag that size!
#asexuality #WorldPride #living vicariously through others’ blog posts #(oh Toronto) #(so close and yet so far)
Go check out DragonsAndBeasties on Deviantart!
#rodent #art #adorable #kind of confusing #but cute