The worst part of human adulthood is being your own zookeeper

I want to stuff a pumpkin full of raw meat and roll it around my enclosure, but I also know that I’ll have to be the one to clean up afterwards :-(

Take steps to minimize the mess! Put a cheap, disposable plastic tarp down in the area you’ll be rolling it around. And.. Maybe recognize your species-specific needs and cook the meat first

Actually, if we’re going for species-specific enrichment, a pumpkin may not be the best solution. We’re not built for pouncing on prey or batting it around. We’re distinguished by our persistence hunting and tool use

What you should do is put a pack of jerky on top of a roomba, go in another room and count to ten like you’re playing hide and seek – or use this time to find a tool to use – and when you come back, try to catch it by setting a trap or by pinning it down with a stick

When you want a greater challenge, have a friend drive an RC car full of jerky around the park, and chase it until it runs out of battery

One time when I was a kid my parents took a bunch of hollow plastic Easter eggs, filled them with chocolates, and hid them around the house for the kids to find, and it is dawning on me that this was the gathering equivalent of the above hunting enrichment.


#reply via reblog #evolution #games #food #my childhood

comparativelysuperlative: is the most important website of the year.

(Answer: no. Just today left. Could be more disasters to track, who knows.)

So anyway, the guy it’s “reluctantly made & maintained by” is speaking on the Jan. 5 about how 2020 is, finally, over. 

You can register here, assuming we make it another week.

I get why people are saying this, but I disagree. Much like how “the ‘60′s” ended in 1974, “2020″ will not end until the vaccine rollout.

For the purposes of mass coordination “the end of 2020″ is probably when the pandemic is declared officially over, but I personally will be making a Happy New Year post one week after my second dose of Pfizer-BioNTech, or on the equivalent day-of-full-effect if I end up with a different manufacturer’s vaccine.

(Tonight I’m still gonna eat traditional New Year foods and play “Auld Lang Syne” and maybe watch the Times Square ball drop if the stream doesn’t crash again, but I’m thinking I might also do it (sans ball drop) then.)


#reply via reblog #New Years #illness tw #covid19 #apocalypse cw?


A reminder that if you’re not abandoning SF/NYC for Miami, you’re behind the curve and are about to be looted by blue state politicians.   

Also that if you’re afraid of hurricanes and those videos with third-story storm surge in a major American city, you’re just a coward.



@rustingbridges: of all the cities in the world why would I move to *miami*

Because all the tech and finance jobs are leaving NYC/SF and moving to Miami.  

In large part because of the amazing money laundering laws re: real estate.



isnt miamis whole water table teetering on complete failure




They’re only 16 feet above sea level, they already have issues with salt water incursion into the freshwater supply, and there’s a Superfund site 750 feet away from the water supply for all of Miami.  

And I wasn’t joking about the storm surge either.  Tampa is 80 feet above sea level, Miami averages 16.  

The only advantage of Miami is that the mayor of Miami has explicitly said “Fuck those Commies who ruined SF”.  

/There’s some personal reasons for this as well, but I really don’t want to have to move to Miami.




I respect you and your weird outlooks and choices but “Let’s all the rich people go move somewhere teetering on the brink of absolute infrastructure catastrophe where the mayor PROMISES not to tax anybody” has possibly the highest entertainment value yet

I know right!  

This was 1992, when FL’s population was 2/3rds what it is now.  

The South is a couple of strategic ports, a series of *inland* cities because hurricanes… and Florida, 20 Million people sitting out on a stick.  It’s already a 2-day drive to evacuate from Tampa to the state border when a hurricane hits.  Everyone who moves there is crazy, but all the people who want to employ me are *moving there*.  




So what’s really being paid for is a supply of Anti-Communist Hispanic voters.



Aren’t a bunch of tech companies moving to Austin? I’ve certainly heard more mumbling about Austin than Miami on twitter, but maybe that’s just my bubble.



Y’all need to move to the heartland!

St. Louis: provincial rents, world class amenities!



I know everybody thinks us tech workers are rootless, atomized yuppies who are only in San Francisco etc. because that’s where the jobs are, but I actually like Seattle, and I know plenty of people who feel the same way about the Bay Area (housing costs aside).

(That said, everyone else should take OP’s advice and move to Miami so I can get a cheaper condo here)



I mean, I liked NYC before my knee blew out and I was no longer capable of standing on moving trains right as the local Armenians started having nightly gunfights and my entire industry evacced the dying, collapsing, suddenly crime-ridden city.  

/NYC used to have a crime rate less than the national average.  

In the year of our Lord 2021, a material-enough-to-have-to-upend-your-life-for percentage of tech/finance companies are *still* planning to make you live in the same state as them if you want to work for them? That’s fucked up.

(My dad worked tech in San Francisco for a while, but that didn’t mean he *lived* there, *god* no. He lived in *Canada* like a *sensible* person.)

((no offense to my friends in San Francisco, I assume you’re making the best of a bad situation))

I mean, I guess if you’re used to California even Miami might seem like an improvement danger-wise? Like, on a scale of 1 to California, Miami is what, a 9?

“Arranging for rich people to live in incredibly disaster-prone environments” doesn’t sound like an anti-communist position at all. That’s just using hurricanes/earthquakes/wildfires instead of guillotines.


#getting an IFRS-based accounting designation is increasingly seeming #like a kind of precommitment against the San Francisco Gravitational Field and its descendants #”nope‚ my credentials don’t transfer to the States‚ you’ll just have to go on without me‚ so sorry‚ byeeee” #(renouncing my U.S. citizenship would be an even stronger oath to never move there but I’m still not sure if I’m willing to go *that* far) #((a few years back my dad refused a job offer from Google that was conditional on moving to SF)) #((better to work at Uber Eats here than to work at Google there)) #(((well at the time it was ”better to be unemployed” etc: Uber Eats came later))) #on a scale of 1 to California my area is maybe a 2 #there’s occasional ice storms you have to watch out for and that’s basically it #(*knocks on wood*) #home of the brave #our home and cherished land #adventures in human capitalism #101 Uses for Infrastructureless Computers #reply via reblog #apocalypse cw #death tw? #murder cw?


i don’t know why but i’m really amused by the winner of some ‘new kanji’ contest:


compare with the real kanji


座 (seat/gathering), but the two 人 (person) radicals have been moved from next to each other within the 土 (earth) radical to diagonally from each other, making this “social distance(d seating/gathering)”


#covid19 #language #illness mention

{{previous post in sequence}}


@itsbenedict​​ replied: “i’m a resident of 2020 and thought that meant “sun” until you explained it”

Potential near-future mes dealing with the aftermath of coronal-mass-ejection EMPs are definitely grumbling about “don’t we have *enough* coronas fucking us over this year?”.

(I’m actually in the middle of reading a thing about this right now: )


#replies #itsbenedict #101 Uses for Infrastructureless Computers #apocalypse cw #illness tw #covid19