so like I have no idea where I’m going with this but
people whose lived experience is close enough to harmful tropes that they feel uncomfortable talking about it
like “you’re not asexual you’re just repressed” well as it happened I was not asexual and I was repressed as hell (I was/am aromantic and had it super thoroughly drilled into me that sexual attraction without romantic attraction… wasn’t really attraction or something? idk every time I try to figure out my upbringing it gets weirder)
or like I have an oc who’s demi (or in one ‘verse he’s demi, AUs man) but he IDed as ace for like twenty years before the “I am now sexually attracted to my life partner” kicked in and so I feel reeeeeally awkward about writing that ‘verse because I have no idea how I’d keep it from being “you just haven’t met the right person yet” without, like, actively stopping the story to write a screed about it ;P
but like does anyone else have this problem? what (if anything) do you do about it? commiserate with me! ;S
Ah, that old double-bind. The one where, for instance, some people don’t have a right person to find, and also who cares if there is a right person they’re still ace for intents and purposes now, but you only have the chance to say one of those things and whichever wrong you correct you’re implicitly condoning the other. It is especially difficult when you personally do happen to fit the narrative.
I look kind of like I fit the first one, since I did formerly ID as repressed, but I don’t think I actually do fit it. Nevertheless, when I encounter that one (which I almost never do directly; I hang out in pretty ace-friendly spaces) I always tackle the “so what if I am?” aspect over the “I’m not” aspect. I figure I’m more believable on that one, plus the “I’m not” aspect is generally tackled more often.
I do have a narrative that I both disagree with and fit, and that’s “rape fetishism isn’t an inherent/valid* part of a fetishist’s sexuality; they’re just into it because Society doesn’t give them any better options. If they were in a culture where consent was an established Thing, the fetish would fall away.”
This is bullshit on multiple levels. It also happened to me. I was rather annoyed when I realised, partly because do you know how hard it is to find consensual hypnosis porn (well, obviously it would have to be difficult or this wouldn’t have happened in the first place) and partly because I resented supporting the pro-narrative argument by existing.
I haven’t tried to respond to that narrative since it happened. Any one thing I say would be undermining the others, and–unlike the repression one–I have no clue where to place my focus.
*In a culture with heavy reliance on “born this way” messages, these two words are treated as interchangeable, which is a big chunk (but not the entirety) of the problem.
Tags:
#(June 2015) #I ran into a harmful trope today and I am feeling this feel again so much #the [models in my head of various assholes I have known] are being *so smug* and I *hate* it #our roads may be golden or broken or lost #asexuality #sexuality and lack thereof #venting #rape tw?
I have a hot take but y’all aren’t ready for it. This is a real headscratcher of an idea and I would absolutely lose followers if I said it. If I told ANYONE this controversial opinion, my friends would abandon me and then start a gofundme to demolish my home. If anybody even SUSPECTED i had this belief, being me would be declared a misdemeanor. If this take got out, the only olympic event would be killing me, and then everyone on Earth would get the gold and the olympics would be cancelled. If this got out, the governor of Maine would tell me that I had been declared the state bird, and I’d be happy at first, and then they’d tell me that the state bird had been declared legally dead. If I said what was on my mind, I would be put third on the list of people that the Pope isn’t allowed to know about.
Tags:
#death tw #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #the humour of my people #our roads may be golden or broken or lost
Broke: Barbie’s many different careers are a way to sell dolls and accessories to little kids.
Woke: Barbie had every single one of those careers and is an immortal timeless being.
Bespoke: Barbie’s different careers are different versions of Barbie from across the multiverse who occasionally swap place with each other or combine into one Barbie.
I have often used Barbie to explain Greek mythology, and people laugh until I explain it, and then they get really serious and thoughtful.
I say, “The Greeks ascribed aspects to gods. Apollo had many aspects, but all were Apollo. He’s like Barbie that way. She’s an astronaut, a veterinarian, and a rollerskater, but no matter which of those things she is in the moment, she is always still Barbie. She is Barbie in her aspect as.”
Then people get not only the idea of “aspects” of godhood, but also, well, the changeable yet eternal nature of Barbie.
Brinens and Things 