if u make clark kent say soda you are grossly mischaracterizing him and i wont stand for it
the real reason no one thinks clark is superman is bc they’re all east coasters who constantly mock clark’s usage of “pop” so they never connect mr. “soda” superman to mr. clark “pop” kent
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(I moved from the East Coast to the Great Lakes) #(and often I will say pop just to keep people from giving me That Look) #(you can’t just say ”soda” without it being a Statement) #(and I’m not here to make Statements I’m just trying to ring up your food) #our home and cherished land #food #in which Brin has a job #Superman
The main reason I ever wanted to write a Hungarian mythology-based urban fantasy is that I needed to see someone do Bread Magic in a mundane modern setting.
Bread Magic shows up in a variety in Hungarian fairytales. It works like this: when someone evil, usually the devil, sometimes a dragon, wants to come into your house and hurt you, usually by taking your children, what you do is put a loaf of bread on the windowsill. It will speak for you.
When evil demands admission, the bread will say: First, they buried me under the ground, and I survived. When I sprouted, they cruelly cut me down with sickles, and I survived. They threshed me with their flails and I survived. They ground me to flour with their millstones and I survived. They put me in a bowl and kneaded me, then they put me in a hot oven to bake me, and I survived. Have you done all these things? Until you do all these things and survive, you have no power here.
This is pretty powerful magic I think, and it makes sense in a country where wheat is the staple crop and bread is the staple food. If you have bread, you are alive, if you have no bread, you are dead, therefore bread is life. It was customary to refer to wheat as “life” well into the twentieth century, and not in high literary circles either: rural seasonal workers negotiated their wages in so and so many sacks of life.
And I totally want someone to do bread magic with a shitty store-bought muffin.
There was a similar Greek fairy tale where narrating the torments of the flax was used as a delay tactic. Like, the parents would be out working in the field and the ogre would come to take the child away, and the clever grandma would say “sure, BUT FIRST, you must let me tell you the passions of the flax”. (As in “the passions of Christ”, meaning the sufferings.) Making cloth out of flax is a hell of a job with many many stages, you dunk it in water for days, you dry it, you shred it, all sorts of things (I don’t actually know what things, I’m a city kid…), so grandma would start droning very slowly and very sadly “they taaaaaaaaake the flaaaaaaaaax, they drowwwwwwn it in waaaaaaaater” and the imagery was out of a medieval torture manual and it sounded like a funeral dirge and it went on for ages, until the ogre couldn’t stand it any more and went “fuck this, I’m out, keep your damn child”.
Folk tales have some Good Takes, such as “brains over brawn” (that’s why they’re so fundamentally roguish – once in a while you’ll get a mighty warrior bashing things, but mostly it’s common peasants tricking the powerful with nothing but wits and sheer nerve), “storytelling will get you a long way”, and “grandmas are awesome”. Which may be a little self-serving (I mean, grandmas tell the tales…), but still: they earned it.
For the torments of anthropomorphised plants see also: John Barleycorn.
There were three men came out of the west, their fortunes for to try And these three men made a solemn vow John Barleycorn must die
They’ve ploughed, they’ve sown, they’ve harrowed him in Threw clods upon his head And these three men made a solemn vow John Barleycorn was dead
They’ve let him lie for a very long time, ‘til the rains from heaven did fall And little Sir John sprung up his head and so amazed them all
They’ve let him stand ‘til Midsummer’s Day ‘til he looked both pale and wan And little Sir John’s grown a long long beard and so become a man
They’ve hired men with their scythes so sharp to cut him off at the knee They’ve rolled him and tied him by the waist serving him most barbarously
They’ve hired men with their sharp pitchforks who’ve pricked him to the heart And the loader he has served him worse than that For he’s bound him to the cart
They’ve wheeled him around and around a field ‘til they came unto a barn And there they made a solemn oath on poor John Barleycorn
They’ve hired men with their crabtree sticks to cut him skin from bone And the miller he has served him worse than that For he’s ground him between two stones
And little Sir John and the nut brown bowl and his brandy in the glass And little Sir John and the nut brown bowl proved the strongest man at last
The huntsman he can’t hunt the fox nor so loudly to blow his horn And the tinker he can’t mend kettle or pots without a little barleycorn
I HAVE NO IDEA, I remember vaguely the story from when I was a kid, but I can’t remember where I read it (or heard it?), and I didn’t find it online. ‘Cause I searched.
It’s also an expression in greek, though it’s a bit outdated, you can say “that poor man has gone through the passions of the flax”, meaning he’s had a very hard life. Or, if you’re a drama queen, you can say something like “fucking bureaucracy! I went through the torments of the flax to get that bloody permit!”. This makes searching for the fairy tale all the more difficult. I’m sorry. :(
In Swedish, two of the steps in working with flax are called “arguing with the flax” (bråka lin) and “heckling the flax” (häckla lin). That says something about how the fiber is treated…
The trouble with *holding* it upside-down is that gravity works against you, and some or all of the butter may fall off.
I generally compromise by holding it butter-side-up, then using my tongue to flip each bite over inside my mouth.
—
*looks up “voluble”* Wait, hang on, is this a joke about oiling your tongue in order to make your speech-producing mechanisms work better? I thought we were talking about how to best enjoy the flavour.
1) I didn’t have any trouble with the butter coming off, it was all pretty well into the bread. If you used a lot more butter than I did though perhaps that could become a problem?
2) The flavor profile is definitely a little different. I get the butter first and then later the flip side (my test was performed with end pieces of a wonderbread style loaf, I do have some dough rising so maybe I’ll see with some normal bread).
3) However the butter flavor is still very available eating it butter side up. It’s more of an accent though. I didn’t find it made a big difference, although if you wanted to maximize the butter flavor (to skimp on butter, maybe, or if you just really love butter) butter side down might be worthwhile.
4) The actual inconvenience to me was that I had to hold my slice in a nonstandard configuration.
My conclusion is that this approach is probably not, generally speaking, for me, but I think it’s a reasonable preference.
It may be worth noting that in many cases my buttered bread has room-temperature bread, and butter partway between refrigerator-temperature and room-temperature. In these cases the butter does not melt into the bread at all, and is often not even that firmly attached.
(I *try* to bring butter up to room temperature before spreading it, but I don’t always get enough advance notice.)
Ah, my butter is almost always up to room temperature (which is relatively easy for me, since the only other person to regularly use my butter is my girlfriend, who is, of all the people in the world, uniquely willing to my opinions on butter handling). And also if it was not quite room temperature I would almost definitely toast the bread in question.
Might also be relevant that most Canadian butter is sold in blocks the size of four sticks. (Usually with markings along the side of the (paper-lined foil) wrapper to indicate things like “slice here to get ¼ cup”.)
(I used to think it was *all* Canadian butter, but I recently discovered that President’s Choice brand butter is in stick format.)
Tags:
#reply via reblog #food #our home and cherished land
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #high context jokes #(in addition to the backslash thing adzolotl was also just talking about the Crusades) #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what
Today’s aesthetic: constructing “X is the Y of Z” analogies using incommensurable categories; e.g., “Quinoa is the Homestuck of comestible grains.”
Tags:
#everyone loves it or hates it or often both at once #except you #you tried it once‚ couldn’t really get into it‚ and wandered off a few minutes later #you are vaguely glad that people are having fun with it #food #Homestuck
Y’all ever mess up putting your phone charger in your phone completely sober just to flex on sherlock holmes
It’s crazy how BBC Sherlock had such active and profound contempt for people in general and yet all of Sherlock’s convoluted deductions never factored in how we just do dumb shit sometimes
Tags:
#Sherlock #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #this reminds me of that ”here’s an assumption for you: Sherlock Holmes is a huge jackass” post
One backslash: \ Two backslashes: \ Three: \ Four: \ Five: \
…but pages work completely differently and will never display multiple backslashes in a row.
EDIT: oh my god. The escape sequence for a backslash in a tumblr post is \, but just \ will work fine if you only need one. The escape sequence for a backslash in a tumblr page is anywhere from one to four backslashes, parsed greedily. If you want to display \ in a page you need to input .
What I just typed into this input box was “If you want to display \ in a page you need to input \.”
Also: every time you edit a page it reduces the length of each string of backslashes by a factor of two.
Alice wants her About page to say “Double \ backslashes are fun!”
The canonical way to do this:
* Type “Double \ backslashes are fun!” into the edit box. * Hit “Update Preview”. It will show “Double \ backslashes are fun!”; ignore it, it’s wrong. But now there’s a Save button! * Save. Go view your About page, which says “Double \ backslashes are fun!”. Yay! * Never edit your About page again.
If you do make the mistake of editing your About page, you will see “Double \ backslashes are fun!” in the edit box and also in the preview. Be sure to correct \ to \; if you don’t, then the next time you save, your About page will look like “Double \ backslashes are fun!” and the next time you edit you’ll see “Double \ backslashes are fun!” in the preview and so on until you give up and make a Dreamwidth account.
…
Post previews are broken, but in the opposite direction; instead of underinterpreting backslashes twice over, they overinterpret them a single time. If I hit “Preview” right now, this is what I see:
Fortunately, I think posts are stable and don’t mess up your backslashes when you edit them.
Quick update: every time you reblog it parses the previous posts an extra time, so if you have a long reblog chain, the OP will eventually be stripped of all but one backslash in each sequence.
Reblog to destroy the backslashes! I’ll start by typing 64 of them: \\\\\\\\
To clarify: if you go to my Tumblr and view the reblog immediately above this one, you see this:
But if you view that same reblog in your feed, you see this:
This is an exciting new discovery: Tumblr has a “first one’s free” policy on reblogs viewed from the feed; only the SECOND reblog will start cutting into your backslashes. But at least on my theme+browser+OS+bloodtype combination, this policy does not apply to someone’s Tumblr viewed directly.
If I’m wrong about how any of this works, shame on you for bothering to check.
Tags:
#Tumblr: a User’s Guide #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(”until you give up and make a Dreamwidth account”) #((…how the fuck am I going to archive this)) #((I guess I’ll just treat however it appears in my tumblr-utils scrape as the canonical version)) #((that’s usually where I pull from when adding new posts to the WordPress))