from the creators of kids bop meet adult bop where we take regular songs and make it have as many curse words as possible
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Banana phone
banana phones go obsolete so quickly, a major manufacturer committed serious crimes in the past, they’re sometimes buggy, and you never get calls on them from anyone you want to talk to! swearing at them thus makes total sense.
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #it got better #music
goncharov this goncharov that. you fools homestuck fans did this literally like 10 years ago
I don’t know if this is true and honestly I refuse to learn more about it
> they dont know about the time 2010 homestuck users tried to gaslight everyone into thinking squiddles was a real show
#…was Squiddles not the first thing other people thought of when they found out what was going on with Goncharov? #admittedly they may have heard of the Squiddles thing but *not* known it was Homestuck-related #I think it was quite some time after I learned Squiddles wasn’t real that I learned it was‚ specifically‚ a Homestuck joke #(the posts I saw were nowhere near as blatant about the Homestuck connection as the ones given here) #Squiddles #Goncharov #unreality cw? #Homestuck
i got these knockoff boots online and instead of the brand name on the tag they have the name of an apparently nonexistent martin scorsese movie??? what the fuck
I FIGURED OUT WHAT THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE
After searching in depth on every possible term on these shoes, I ended up in the filmography of Italian producer Domenico Procacci, leading me to the film Gomorrah, which I noticed KINDA looks like Goncharov. So I did some digging into Gomorrah and it’s about the Naples mafia… which finally led me to finding this image
Martin Scorsese is on it because he lended his name to it to boost its reception in the US
This post has haunted me for so long I’m so glad I figured this out
A computer “read” the Gomorrah poster in the same way that, say, @nostalgebraist-autoresponder can “read” a meme you send her. and just like how sometimes Frank badly misreads the text in a meme you send and goes off on a tangent about cats or something, the computer that did the OCR for the boots misread Gomorrah.
And so we get Goncharov, the greatest movie never made.
I have no idea why the knockoff boot company decided to make boots centered around the poster for Gomorrah, but here we are.
#I know I’m late here #you’ve probably seen this before #but‚ you know‚ for the record #(the first several Goncharov posts I saw were kayfabe and tbh I was completely willing to believe #that Tumblr had abruptly become obsessed with an obscure mafia movie) #(I’m still kind of confused as to why *now*) #(the earlier posts in this thread are from 2020‚ and yeah the one that figured out the Gomorrah connection is 2022-10-25 but #that was still like three weeks before it went big) #Goncharov
I still think that my favorite urban legend/folklore fact is that there are certain areas in New Orleans where you cannot get a taxi late at night not because it isn’t safe, but because taxi companies have had recurring problems of picking up ghosts in those areas who are not aware that they are dead and disappearing from the cab before reaching the destination and therefore stiffing the driver on the fare causing a loss for the company.
An occupational hazard of cab driving I had not previously considered
I love that the nola problem here is not “ghosts in my taxi cab,” but “ghosts are FUCKING BROKE DEAD BASTARDS & I GOT BILLS”
Horror is when ghosts get into cabs and scare drivers
Magical realism is when cab companies have to develop policies to prevent ghastly fare-theft
In a book about the tsunami in Japan in 2011, the writer talked about how there was a huge increase in reports of ghostly activity. Apparently in Japan treating ghosts rudely is basically considered the stupidest thing you could possibly do. For months after the tsunami, taxi drivers would pick up a passenger only to have them give an address in one of the devastated areas. The cab driver often looked up halfway to the destination to find their fare had disappeared. Not wanting to be impolite to the person (even if they were dead) they’d drive to the address, open the door to let them out, then drive away.
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #ghosts
What if i just posted all 26 of the Lancer mech memes I’ve made so far all at once
What if I did that
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #Lancer #violence cw #death tw #body horror? #infohazards? #I don’t go here–in fact‚ I have never heard of Lancer before in my life–but this has some great lines #I especially love that Blackbeard description #and ”a shotgun as designed by the personified physical avatar of OSHA violations” #ooh‚ and the bit with the simple purpose of the Iskander #and more! #(the ransom-note formatting works weirdly well‚ too) #(the kind of…uneven‚ English-as-spoken-by-a-being-that-does-not-naturally-have-the-concept-of-language mental voice it evokes…) #(…like‚ I don’t think it’s *inherently* funny in itself‚ but it often augments the comedic timing)
The days grow short; we’ve set back all the clocks.
Snow smooths the landscape into blank simplicity.
Indoors, we face the “thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to” — static electricity,
I mean. And though I know my flannel socks
Aren’t helping, there’s a special infelicity
In choosing whether colder feet, perhaps,
Are worth it for the sake of fewer zaps.
#poetry #(static electricity has not been a big problem for me but this has a nice ring to it)