@ilzolende and I were discussing linguistic sound change. I mentioned I’d read that ת (tav) has gone from ‘th’ in Biblical Hebrew to ‘t’ in Modern Hebrew and ‘s’ for some Ashkenazim; while ב (bet) and ו (vav) merge for (some) Sephardim, because of Spanish b/v merger.
Which eventually led to this story:
The Gileadites encamped at the Jordan and waited to slaughter the retreating Ephraimites. To distinguish them, they asked all comers to say ‘shibboleth’, because the Ephraimites could not pronounce the /sh/ phoneme and instead said it as /s/.
Gileadite 1: …So then you kill anyone who mispronounces ‘shibboleth’. Understood?
Gileadite 2: Understood.
(Modern) Israeli: Shalom!
Gileadite 2: Hey, we’re testing nationality. Say ‘shibboleth’.
Israeli: Uh, OK. ‘shibbolet’?
Gileadite 2: …u wot, mate?
Israeli: I said ‘shibbolet’, just like you asked.
Gileadite 2: Um, wrong, I guess. *slash*
Gileadite 1: No no no! That wasn’t an Ephraimite! That was a… Weirdo. Anyway, we’re just killing people who say /s/, dude. Listen for a /s/.
Gileadite 2: OK, got it.
Ashkenazi: Shalom!
Gileadite 2: Hey, we’re testing nationality. Say ‘shibboleth’.
Ashkenazi: Oy vey, what is this ‘shibboles’ thi-
Gileadite 2: *slash*
Gileadite 1: NO! We’re checking if they say /s/ at the beginning, man! The beginning!
Gileadite 2: Make up your MIND.
[One diversity training session later]
Gileadite 2: *sigh* OK. Sibboleth: Kill. Shibboleth: Let through. Shibbolet or Shibboles: Turn away. That’s everyone, right?
Gileadite 1: Yep. Good luck!
Sephardi: Shalom!
Gileadite 2: Hey, we’re testing nationality. Say ‘shibboleth’.
Sephardi: Um, why ‘shivolet’?
Gileadite 2: *throws down sword* Fuck it, I QUIT.
Tags:
#language #fun wif forn fronting
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