teashoesandhair:

thoodleoo:

Achilles

roses are red

wine-dark is the sea

my boyfriend is dead

time for a killing spree

Oedipus

roses are red

a hue like no other

you know, valentine,

you’re just like my mother?

Catullus

my girl’s eyes are swollen

her sparrow is dead

but is that just a metaphor

for my dick instead?

Cato

roses are red

space is black like a void

who cares about love

Carthage must be destroyed

Poseidon

Roses are red

like bitter regret 

I’m god of the ocean 

let me make you wet ;)

Odysseus

My wife is at home

but babe, let’s forget her; 

I’ll show you a good time

‘cause Nobody’s better

Athena 

Roses are red

violets are red 

everything is red 

I love war

Apollo

Roses are red

but I haven’t got any

all of my lovers

have turned into botany

Prometheus

I’ve bought you some roses

‘cause babe, I’m a giver

say you’ll be mine

I’ll really de-liver

Zeus

Roses are red

violets are blue

shit, Hera’s coming – 

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Tags:

#mythology #poetry #Happy Valentine’s Day from an aromantic asexual #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog