asexualactivities:

I want to hear more from people who dislike orgasms.  You typically only seem to hear about how wonderful they are, but I want to hear more about the flip side.

Why don’t you like them? How do they make you feel?  Do you think your asexuality plays a part?

( Ask | Submit

It feels foreign and invasive [link], something intruding into my mind rather than part of me, trying to re-write my desires. The new, stronger form of arousal that leads (or at least *can* lead) up to it is distracting, attention-grabbing in a way I don’t like, and that makes it harder to masturbate in a way that’s *truly* satisfying, truly *mine*.

(That bit seems like it needs a context link, but I’m not sure which one would be best: maybe this one.)

This has only been happening for about 1 – 2.5 years, depending on how you count. I miss when there were fewer pitfalls.


Tags:

#oh hey look *another* way my body has deteriorated over the last couple years #(even if most people wouldn’t conceptualise it that way) #sexuality and lack thereof #Possible TMI #I’ve been thinking about whether to maybe answer this for like a week #but the tie-in with my previous post seems to have convinced me #reply via reblog #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see

That post about writing motorcycle scenes I’ve been meaning to write

prettyarbitrary:

Riding a bike is one of those things that’s a very physical experience, so if you haven’t ridden, then there’s a lot you will naturally not be aware of.  I love motorcycle scenes in stories, but over the years I’ve noticed that scenes written by non-riders almost always make the same mistakes.  They’re ubiquitous in fact, to the point that if you haven’t been there to learn the contrary yourself, it’s natural to assume that’s how it actually works.

The first thing to know about motorcycles is that when driving, the motorcycle performs as an extension of you.  It’s almost cybernetic, the way your mass and balance fuse with the machine’s, the way it transmutes your sense of your surroundings and the surface you’re driving on, and the sense of the bike itself and how it’s performing.

Most notably, the driver’s center of gravity becomes the central steering mechanism.  At speeds faster than around 10 mph, the driver steers primarily through shifting their center of balance.  If you want to turn left, you lean your body left.  You’re actually tilting yourself and the motorcycle to take curves and corners.

When carrying a passenger, then, the passenger needs to shift their center of gravity along with the driver’s.  It’s like taking the ‘follower’ position in partner dancing.  You lean WITH them; not less, because then your weight counters theirs and they end up not turning (which can be highly bad if, say, the road does not go that way), and not more, because then the bike could tip right over.

Being a good passenger on a bike is not a huge learning curve for most people, but there is a learning curve.  And some people have more of a knack for it than others.  Some people are natural back-seat drivers, for whatever reason overly pushy, eager, demanding, or determined that they know better than you, and have a habit of making it hard on the driver.  I’ve had people tell me they hate riding pillion even if they’re good at it, because they don’t like how out-of-control it feels.  I detest it myself, in fact; I’d far rather be driving, and it’s a constant struggle for me to just follow along and behave myself.

This means, though, that carrying a passenger who weighs significantly more than you can be a tricky business.  I weigh about 110, and when carrying a rider weighing significantly more than that, it’s awfully easy to crash if the passenger tries to back-seat steer.  (A way to mitigate this, especially for new passengers, is to simply take 15 minutes or so to bump around quiet local roads at low speeds so that the driver and passenger can familiarize themselves a bit with minimal risk to themselves.)

Now, undoubtedly the #1 most-committed mistake I see from almost everybody who writes about motorcycles (and for that matter, a lot of unsuspecting new passengers try it in real life) is the ‘wrapping arms around the driver’s waist’ business.  It’s so common that this line is practically required by law when somebody’s writing a motorcycle scene, but seriously:  DON’T DO THAT.  <–The all caps there is not for shaming; it’s for emphasizing the safety issues.  It’s not only uncomfortable for the driver, it’s potentially dangerous.  It makes it hard to steer, hard to breathe comfortably, and easy to get jerked off balance and into a crash.

In a similar vein, holding onto the driver via grabbing their clothing is ill-advised.  This can lead to getting jerked off balance, having seams dig in painfully, and being choked by fabric.

What to do instead:  The rider sitting pillion should brace their hands on either side of the driver’s waist.  

I know, if you’re in it for the sexual tension, this sounds less sexy, but I’m here to tell you that’s a filthy lie.  A passenger who’s sitting properly is basically molded onto the driver’s back.  Riding with/being a passenger on a bike is a startlingly intimate experience.  There’s a lot of trust and teamwork involved, which takes place at a kinesthetic level.  It feels a lot like dancing, as I said before, or maybe partnered sports, where the collaboration is happening at a physical, bone-deep level that often skips right past the conscious intellect.

Now, sometimes (you may’ve seen this on the road) you’ll have passengers who prefer to hang onto a part of the bike–bits of the frame, maybe, or a ‘sissy bar’/seat back sticking up from the back.  It’s not uncommon, but it’s a bad habit because the passenger is never quite as in-tune with the driver this way, and if something happens–a tire slips in a puddle, for example–their weight moving in the wrong direction can end up jerking the bike out of the driver’s control.

Another thing I see a lot of writers do in stories that doesn’t work in real life:  unfortunately, helmets are NOT easily swappable.  They’re designed to clasp the head; a well-fitted helmet should not move on your head at all, even if you shake your head hard (though it also shouldn’t be tight enough to exert uncomfortable pressure).  A helmet that fits loosely is useless at best and dangerous at worst.  One that’s too tight is either painful or doesn’t go on at all.  It doesn’t take much difference in the size of two people’s heads for one person’s helmet to not fit the other person properly.  (And even if they’re the same size, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll be comfortable for more than short-term wear, but hey.)

Also, the stupid things are ridiculously expensive–especially the full-face models–so most bikers aren’t lucky enough to have a bunch of extras just laying around.

Another tip, both for writing and riding: riding pillion on a sports bike (those sleek ones where the driver’s crouched and leaning forward like a race jockey) is a miserable freaking experience.  On a lot of models, you’re perched up there on something that barely counts as a seat and leaves you constantly feeling like you’re about to slide off the back; your legs are pushed up into a crouch; you’re hunched like a monkey over the driver; and possibly you’ve got a scalding-hot muffler pressed up against your calf.  

(Pro tip: if anybody ever invites you for a ride on their bike and you’re wearing shorts, pay attention to where the muffler’s located in relation to the foot pegs.)

Now, what is it about motorcycles that makes some of us bikers go into a lathered-up frenzy at the idea of riding?  It’s because it FEELS SO DAMN ALIVE.

Look.  It’s like…life these days is, well, canned.  We spend a lot of our time in pods–houses, cars, subway trains–breathing tinned air, walking around on pavement or carpet…  But when I’m on a bike, it’s me and a 360 degree panorama of the world, and there’s nothing between me and it.  Some people get off on the risk of that, but for me it’s a matter of immersion.  When I ride, I can feel the cool humid air rolling down from under a forested hillside.  I can smell the road dust, the oil, the exhaust, the herby scent of weeds and wildflowers on the roadside, the river I’m driving near, the shady scent of a forest, the roadside fruit stand…and I’m not talking in that wafty, broken-up way you get if you roll the car doors down.  It’s like driving into a wall of scent, crashing through one bubble after another of temperature changes and smells and sounds and sights, and I have this bike underneath me that’s rumbling and vibrating and moving like it’s part of me, and it’s just the most powerful sense I’ve ever had of being in charge of my own life and not hiding from the world.  I can see it, and it can see me, and yeah, that’s a bit dangerous, but it’s also real.

God, that last paragraph particularly gets to me, as someone with an [airborne environmental sensitivity NOS that is apparently not technically an allergy] [link].

I fucking *flinched* at the description of the scents of the outdoors, because to me those scents have come to mean “your mask seal has failed and you’re gonna be paying for it later”. I miss outdoor scents, but I’ve also grown to fear them.

That paragraph is even better at expressing the intertwining of realness and danger than OP intended.


Tags:

#interesting #the more you know #motorcycles #reply via reblog #tangents #allergies #(haven’t found a better tag yet)

itsbenedict:

you know what’s really good is Worth the Candle. it’s… the premise is that a sadistic DM has been isekai’d into a mashup of all his own D&D campaign settings, and has to confront those things and what they say about him. it’s also the good kind of rationalfic- the protagonist is smart and questions the things you’d expect him to question and puts appropriate effort into creative problem-solving.

what especially makes it appeal to me is that the protagonist, Joon… is me? i get this uncanny sensation from reading it, in that he keeps anticipating my next question and my next idea and my next reaction, so reliably that i can go long stretches feeling like i’m the one dealing with his problems and making decisions, and only rarely have to remember that, oh, right, this is a different person with his own life experiences and i’m not literally playing this like a videogame. i don’t know if i’ve ever been so on the same wavelength as a fictional character, and that enhances the stuff where it deconstructs and plays with self-insert isekai tropes.

anyway, apart from that, i can highly recommend it on the strength of its character writing, humor, and worldbuilding- though be aware it is long, over one million words broken up into multiple books. it’s not quite Worm length yet, but it’s getting there.

Oh hey, Alexander Wales moved to AO3! I enjoyed his fanfiction.net works [link], and now I have a bunch more to read.

(And when I googled him to find the URL for his fanfiction.net profile, I found he also has a website with some *more* things on it [link].)


Tags:

#recs #reply via reblog

Anonymous asked: I read that most people have olfactory aphantasia (olphantasia?)

{{previous post in sequence}}


brin-bellway:

sigmaleph:

Hm. I have olfactory imagination, but it’s definitely worse than my visual or auditory imagination. It’s about on par with my gustatory imagination. (I have varied skill in imagination for the various kinds of stimuli generally folded into “touch”, but in general they fall between visual/auditory and olfactory/gustatory. I don’t have a proprioceptive imagination. there are other things that are potentially considered sense that I do not feel like covering one by one)

*

I bow my imaginary head in sympathy at your lack of proprioceptive imagination.

(I saw somebody in a Typepad comment thread once who was wondering what the quale of thinking in sign language was like, said it was completely alien to his experience. And I looked at that like “…I gesture in my thoughts all the time, the concept of signing your thoughts seems pretty intuitive to me”.)

((I think my ordering goes something like proprioception –> touch –> gustatory –> auditory –> visual –> olfactory.))


Tags:

#reply via reblog #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see

reasonsmysoniscrying:

‪**Walking some place that we’ve never been**‬

‪8yo: “I’ve seen this before.”‬

‪Me:‬

‪8yo: “You know how sometimes you go to sleep and you see things in your dreams and then later on you see them for real? Like that.”‬

‪Me, quietly terrified: “Umm oh yeah! That’s called ‘Deja Vu’! Great!”‬

 

kaylapocalypse:

I have this too, and like a bunch of the other people who say they have this in the notes have described: it’s like…less prophetic full fledged dreams and more like a 2second snapshot of you doing an activity with no context. Like cutting paper then looking up or opening your purse with specific scenery in the background. Then you wake up and you’re like “what was that pointless dream scene.” Then later (sometimes weeks or months later), when you’re doing The Thing you’re like “oh”

 

fandomsficsandfeels:

I DIDNT KNOW THIS HAPPENED TO OTHER PEOPLE TOO

 

audrey-hepbae:

Good morning all you That So Raven sons o guns

 

living-for-fiction:

…I thought this happened to everyone? Is it really so unusual?

 

maryellencarter:

It’s never happened to me quite that way (although I did once have a dream that a lost checker was behind a desk, where I then found it the next morning), but my younger sisters both had these, one of them quite a bit. Brains are weird as fuck and we don’t understand them.

I once read an article about “Story of Your Life” by Ted Chiang (here’s the article, and coincidentally enough it’s by the guy who was the subject of my previous post), in which the article-writer pointed out that it’s really quite simple to make an entity that remembers the future. All you have to do is take their subconscious guess as to what the future is going to be, and have their conscious mind remember this prediction as fact; then, quietly edit their memories of the *past* continuously/as-necessary, so that at any given time they *don’t remember ever having been wrong* about what the future was going to be.

My precognitive events–such as they are; it’s rather less than what the people upthread are describing–feel suspiciously like a weaker version of this, in which my brain doesn’t even bother to present me with a fabricated memory of having seen this in a dream a while back, just a vague sense that this dream occurred.

(…not that I would *prefer* it present me with fabricated memories)

Most of my revelations regarding dreams are about realising what part(s) of the *past* they were referencing, or what puns they were making. In at least one case I didn’t notice the pun for *months*; I wonder how many I’m still missing.


Tags:

#dreams #amnesia cw #reply via reblog #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #unreality cw?

little-brisk:

has anyone found a good way to back up their tumblr that isn’t a complete fucking mess? all i want is an archive of my original posts, a function which every blogging platform since the invention of blogs has made extremely easy but we all know the hellsite wouldn’t be our home if it was a functional blogging platform, so

{{maryellencarter replied to little-brisk: I think @brin-bellway knows things about tumblr backups… }}

@maryellencarter​ summoned me here, since I have experience in this topic and am pretty much always up for talking about archiving methods.

So, I know of a few different options, depending on how exactly you define “good” and whether you specifically want *only* OPs or would be good with a full-blog archive too.

1. tumblr-utils. On Linux, you just download their zip, put the file labelled “tumblr_backup.py” in your home directory (I keep the rest of the folder elsewhere in case I ever need it for anything), and then open a command-line terminal and run “python tumblr_backup.py little-brisk”. I’ve never done it on other operating systems, but I expect it’s fairly similar; since this is a relatively popular method, we might be able to find someone with firsthand experience doing it on your operating system to give you more details.

By default, this will give you a local folder (a sub-folder of the folder your tumblr_backup.py file is in) containing both reblogs and OPs, with images included but not video or audio, and posts indexed by month but not by tag. There are various options you can add to the command [link]: for example, “python tumblr_backup.py –save-video –save-audio little-brisk” will include the audio and video as well as the images. Warning: if you use the “–tag-index” option and you have any tags (whether organisational or commentary) with a slash in them, the archiver will crash. I have not tested the “–no-reblog” option, but it does exist.

Depending on how many posts you keep and how many images were in them, the folder may be several GB in size and contain tens of thousands of files (most of them tucked away under the image and individual-post sub-folders). IME one *needs* to zip a large blog’s folder in order to move it around: attempting to copy 30k individual files to a USB drive or suchlike tends to result in stuff like “Estimated time remaining: 4 months”. Zipping a large blog only takes an hour or three, though, and then you can copy it to places in just a few more minutes.

2. WordPress. This is mostly for if you really want your backup to be public-facing: the formatting *is* a bit of a mess (especially on long reblog chains and tag rambles), and I personally have been chipping away at fixing my WordPress’s formatting for an entire year and am still in 2017 (admittedly, I’ve been doing some mental crop rotation lately).

I’m not sure if they offer an OP-only option.

If you’re feeling particularly paranoid and are willing to fiddle around with a few software guts, you can self-host this, or keep a kitted-out WordPress server stashed away on your computer in case you want to import into a self-hosted platform later [here is a post I wrote on how I did this].

3. I know it must be possible to use wget because I’ve seen people do it [link], but I’m not sure exactly which options you need to add to the terminal command to make it work properly. I just now made a few promising-looking variants of my Dreamwidth-archiving command [link], and none of them could get past the front page of any of the blogs I tested them on.

TumblThree is Windows-only and Soup is OPs-only, so I haven’t used them, but I hear some people like them.


Tags:

#reply via reblog #101 Uses for Infrastructureless Computers #Tumblr: a User’s Guide #the more you know #WordPress

{{previous post in sequence}}


maryellencarter:

brin-bellway:

rustingbridges:

I’m reading a blog post, and this guy is talking about what he does at canadian thanksgiving

is that how canadians refer to canadian thanksgiving? “happy canadian thanksgiving!” “give canadian thanks!”

#I mean probably not  #probably this is just because most of his blog audience is american  #and probably he gets a lot of confused questions about his thanksgiving timing  #but maybe

 

Yeah, it’s only “Canadian Thanksgiving” in contexts where the default assumption is American. Likewise, “American Thanksgiving” in contexts where the default assumption is Canadian.

Mom has been known to call the American one “Pilgrim Thanksgiving”, but I think she’s been doing that less lately.

(We celebrate both, in honor of our American heritage. I don’t know how Canadian-only people are supposed to cope with the fact that one can of pumpkin makes two pies: we get to just make both Thanksgivings’ pumpkin pies at once, keeping the second one in the freezer until it’s time.)

…in my experience one can of pumpkin makes one pie. I don’t know if your cans are larger, your pies smaller, or your recipes more padded with non-pumpkin ingredients, but now I’m curious.

I’ll go look that up.

1. Our spare can of pumpkin is 796mL. According to a grocery-store online catalogue you can also get “pumpkin pie filling” in 540mL cans, but we only buy that by accident.

2. The pie in our freezer is 9 inches in diameter and maybe an inch and a half deep.

3. The can says:

Pumpkin pie recipe on reverse. Requires: eggs, brown sugar, ground cinnamon, ground nutmeg, ground ginger, salt, 175 mL evaporated milk (1 pie) and an unbaked pie shell.

1 can makes 2 pies.

When I asked Mom for confirmation that we do in fact use the recipe on the can, she said yes, then asked for context (which I gave). She thinks the main difference is the can size, with a side of having to add more ingredients to the plain pumpkin.

@alarajrogers said:

The solution for Americans is we eat 2 pumpkin pies.

Come to think of it I suppose that *would* work pretty well for groups with more than 2 – 3 pie-eating members (edit: or maybe even just people who aren’t also making chocolate cream pie). Maybe the canned-pumpkin manufacturers size their cans assuming you’re going to invite people over.


Tags:

#food #Thanksgiving #our home and cherished land #home of the brave #reply via reblog


{{next post in sequence}}

rustingbridges:

I’m reading a blog post, and this guy is talking about what he does at canadian thanksgiving

is that how canadians refer to canadian thanksgiving? “happy canadian thanksgiving!” “give canadian thanks!”

#I mean probably not  #probably this is just because most of his blog audience is american  #and probably he gets a lot of confused questions about his thanksgiving timing  #but maybe

Yeah, it’s only “Canadian Thanksgiving” in contexts where the default assumption is American. Likewise, “American Thanksgiving” in contexts where the default assumption is Canadian.

Mom has been known to call the American one “Pilgrim Thanksgiving”, but I think she’s been doing that less lately.

(We celebrate both, in honor of our American heritage. I don’t know how Canadian-only people are supposed to cope with the fact that one can of pumpkin makes two pies: we get to just make both Thanksgivings’ pumpkin pies at once, keeping the second one in the freezer until it’s time.)


Tags:

#Thanksgiving #our home and cherished land #home of the brave #language #reply via reblog #food


{{next post in sequence}}

maryellencarter:

Somebody ought to do chicharrones / pork rinds in a whole bunch of flavor powders like potato chips, because they’re low carb and they have The Cronch

nobody makes sour cream and onion chicharrones and this is A Crime

(google turns up “onion and sour cream” chicharrones which boast of being heavy on the onion flavor. do not want. i want chicharrones in the lay’s cheddar sour cream flavor. and doritos nacho cheese flavor. and like… all dressed chicharrones, which are probably some sort of crime against fusion cuisine XD)

A lot of grocery stores have, next to the popcorn, shaker bottles of various seasonings. I wonder if those would help.


Tags:

#reply via reblog #food #the more you know

maryellencarter:

So here’s a thing. I went to Lush a while back to check out their bath bombs etc, having acquired a bathtub for the first time in over a year. (Verdict: most smells are indiscernible to me, bath bombs take more patience than I have, bubble bath bars make the bathwater feel weirdly gritty or maybe I’m just using too big a chunk of one, but I am intrigued by the glitter body bar they had and may eventually go back to buy one.)

The thing is, every time I see people talking about Lush, it’s “yeah the products are great but ONOES THE STAFF they descend upon you like locusts!” and I’m like… yes? I walked in and the sales gentleman was very cheerful and answered all my questions, of which I had a fuckton, and demonstrated bath bombs and bubble bath bars for me and explained the bath oil melts, and then let me sniff everything at my own pace and did not upsell me. And to me the *best* part was that I did not have to go to an effort to get his attention and make shy little gestures trying to catch his eye and indicate that I wished to be helped, I walked in and he was right there being like “Have you been here before? Do you know what you’re looking for? Here are bath bombs!” and I was like “I heard your glitter is not microplastics” and he was like “Let me explain SYNTHETIC MICA GLITTER to you”, which admittedly is the way to my heart because geochemistry! But like… I liked it. I did not find it overwhelming or Oh The Horror. He got me a hand towel so I wasn’t mixing glitters everywhere, and then let me go methodically down the row of shelves sniffing everything while he restocked the other side of the store. It was neat.

So like. Is this just an introvert/extrovert thing? Is it simply that the introvert wishes to achieve bath bombs with no human interaction whatsoever, and a “how may I help / I’m just here for this specific thing / ok cool let me know if you need help” is too Much? Or do they force conversation if you haven’t already spent fifteen minutes being fascinated by product demonstrations?

>>And to me the *best* part was that I did not have to go to an effort to get his attention and make shy little gestures trying to catch his eye and indicate that I wished to be helped<<

That doesn’t tend to be my experience.

Now that I’ve worked in fast food, I am…maybe not more *reluctant*, I still do it roughly the same amount, but I feel guilty when I enter a store without a clear intention to buy something. Because I know, now, how fucking *awkward* it is from the staff perspective to have a potential customer you aren’t actively helping (waiting in line *mostly* doesn’t count). You can’t just go about your business cleaning and restocking and so on: you have to orient yourself around them, ready to spring into action at a moment’s notice if/when they end up wanting your help.

(Plus you can’t *just* hover around them, because that is Pressuring and also Wasting Company Time. You have to find things to do that allow you to be productive while *also* keeping an eye out for any sign of their wanting help, and that allow you to drop everything and immediately help them if/when that happens.)

I wish that our culture’s stock of standardised customer/staff interaction phrases had one for “I waive my right to prompt, responsive service: please go about your business as if I were not here. I understand that I will need to actively seek out your help if I find I want it, and that you might not be available right away.”. I’ve been trying out telling the staff of stores I wander into that I am “just looking around”, and I think this is at least *somewhat* effective, but I’m not sure it’s strong enough.

(maybe I’ll add a “don’t mind me”, that might help)


Tags:

#reply via reblog #scrupulosity cw? #in which Brin has a job