nsfw text

It Should Be Legal To Have Sex In Public

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

danksy-lives:

By what right does a government, entrusted with the preservation of liberty, see fit to prohibit consensual acts? This question, which was the catalyst of the Sexual Revolution, has led this author to reconsider all manner of social taboos.

While considering the rise of PDAs on campus, I considered how the right to show affection had superseded the expectation of those around them to feel comfortable. This is a positive change, primarily because the taboo against this act is rooted in the belief that people have the right to control the expression of their peers. This value has no place in a free society. From this position, I considered more extreme examples of the same principle. If society has no right to prohibit public signs of love, why should it prohibit its members from the literal act of love? It is this question that led me to my thesis, that it should be legal to have sex in public.

The first objection that will be raised against this is that the other people do not consent to seeing this. This response misrepresents the nature of consent. Many of you have seen a video in which consent is explained using the metaphor of giving someone tea. In this video, consent is understood to be a state in which the two people involved in sex agree to the act. Nowhere in that explanation does the opinion of those around them come into consideration. Because of this, saying that public sex violates the rights of passersby, or that they should just “get a room”, holds no weight.

The second point is that public sex does no harm to those who witness it. As with PDAs, there is no injustice that one can point to in order to justify its prohibition. The most likely grievance one could have is that people having sex on the ground would cause people to move around them. This is certainly an inconvenience, but not one that warrants government intervention. The worst-case scenario is that the coitus occurs in an exit or other narrow location. In this scenario, the appropriate action would be to use applicable fire codes to identify this as a safety violation. They could then be punished accordingly, public sex not being relevant to the matter. In neither case can the public claim harm that comes directly from the act of making love, but from factors that would be relevant whether or not sex was involved.

As I end this, I should address the reader’s assumption that the author is a crazed sex maniac. On the contrary, I am only interested in freedom for its own sake. I have no desire to partake in the act, nor would I gain sexual pleasure from seeing this in my daily life. I am content to know that the government will not interfere with those who chose to do so. Being free does not require that you partake in an act, it only requires that you reserve the right to do so, should the desire come. That is why I write this, so that we may all be a little more free.

People should not have sex in public because–given the fluids involved–it is unsanitary and against the interests of public health. They also should not talk in public for the same reason.

Tags:

#one hot take deserves another #nsfw text #discourse cw #unsanitary cw #reply via reblog

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~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

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tototavros:

being adjacent to cancel-heavy (or at least, cancel-anxious) groups for a few years has unfortunately infected me with an ability to write shitty thinkpiece theses, the two today so far have been “male/female designations of cables are transphobic” and “my sharona is pedophilic”

 

rendakuenthusiast:

I had the same thought re: cables some years ago but without the assumption that transphobia is bad or that people shouldn’t resist trans activists who try to make them stop referring to cables that way.

 

alexanderrm:

In the same vein of thought where wanting to know a stranger’s assigned gender at birth as soon as you meet them is equivalent to wanting to know what’s in their underwear or their private medical history, maybe there’s a hot take to be had that we should call them “penis” and “vagina” cables, which takes no longer to say, and is what we actually mean when we say “male/female” cables.

 

tototavros:

That would work, except no way in hell am I going to ask “Hey, anyone got any usb-vagina-wall-outlet-penis or micro-usb-penis-wall-outlet-penis cords?” in the office slack

 

rustingbridges:

I wouldn’t say that in the office, but on the other hand my girlfriend will absolutely live to regret your post

 

brin-bellway:

Huh. @tototavros, you *would* be willing to call them “male” and “female” in the office slack? I wouldn’t be comfortable with that myself: to me “male” and “female” feels like the barest fig leaf over the obvious genitalia references, still very crude overall.

(And indeed, “WTF, why are you referring to them so crudely” was my very first thought the first time I heard someone refer to them that way in my mid to late teens. I was boggled that she was not calling them “prongs” and “outlets” (sometimes “plugs” and “sockets”, though “plug” can be ambiguous as it is also an umbrella term) as I considered to be the norm, and even more boggled when I worked out that *most* subcultures in my meta-cultural neighbourhood consider comparing plugs to genitals to be the *standard* way of referring to them.)

 

rustingbridges:

I mean I call them male / female in the professional context, because those are the typical terms and I’m absolutely not tromping all the back to whatever closet the bits came out of because somebody failed to understand my nonstandard terminology.

and for all its crudeness, I’ve never dealt with anyone who misunderstood the analogy!

(see also)

Tags:

#conversational aglets #language #our roads may be golden or broken or lost #gender #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #discourse cw? #nsfw text

~ Brin ~ 2 Comments

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tototavros:

being adjacent to cancel-heavy (or at least, cancel-anxious) groups for a few years has unfortunately infected me with an ability to write shitty thinkpiece theses, the two today so far have been “male/female designations of cables are transphobic” and “my sharona is pedophilic”

 

rendakuenthusiast:

I had the same thought re: cables some years ago but without the assumption that transphobia is bad or that people shouldn’t resist trans activists who try to make them stop referring to cables that way.

 

alexanderrm:

In the same vein of thought where wanting to know a stranger’s assigned gender at birth as soon as you meet them is equivalent to wanting to know what’s in their underwear or their private medical history, maybe there’s a hot take to be had that we should call them “penis” and “vagina” cables, which takes no longer to say, and is what we actually mean when we say “male/female” cables.

 

tototavros:

That would work, except no way in hell am I going to ask “Hey, anyone got any usb-vagina-wall-outlet-penis or micro-usb-penis-wall-outlet-penis cords?” in the office slack

 

rustingbridges:

I wouldn’t say that in the office, but on the other hand my girlfriend will absolutely live to regret your post

 

brin-bellway:

Huh. @tototavros, you *would* be willing to call them “male” and “female” in the office slack? I wouldn’t be comfortable with that myself: to me “male” and “female” feels like the barest fig leaf over the obvious genitalia references, still very crude overall.

(And indeed, “WTF, why are you referring to them so crudely” was my very first thought the first time I heard someone refer to them that way in my mid to late teens. I was boggled that she was not calling them “prongs” and “outlets” (sometimes “plugs” and “sockets”, though “plug” can be ambiguous as it is also an umbrella term) as I considered to be the norm, and even more boggled when I worked out that *most* subcultures in my meta-cultural neighbourhood consider comparing plugs to genitals to be the *standard* way of referring to them.)

 

shieldfoss:

According to google, the correct terminology ( in Danish ) translates into “male connector” in English (and I’ve been using male/female connector when writing in English since forever)

So

I mean

Yeah I’d absolutely use the correct technical terminology in places where I wouldn’t use “penis” and “vagina” terminology, even though it’s clearly just a figleaf for the exact same meaning.

2ac1cb8339202706457181b26f2d4331dd37cc3b

(see also)

—

…you seem upset that my dialect has different terminology for this, and that it is non-obvious to an outsider that male/female dialects (or languages) allow their terms in *every* context including contexts famously scrupulous about not discussing sexuality?

(From my perspective, it would not have surprised me in the least if male/female dialects had some painfully circumlocutious politically-correct euphemism *specifically* for use in offices: indeed, it seemed the most likely outcome. Since my native dialect is already so politically correct, I’d figured I could afford to wait until I actually *got* an office job to confirm this: I could just ask somebody for a double-outletted adapter and they’d teach me the local euphemisms then.)

Tags:

#reply via reblog #language #our roads may be golden or broken or lost #gender #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #discourse cw #scrupulosity cw? #nsfw text

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~ Brin ~ 2 Comments

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tototavros:

being adjacent to cancel-heavy (or at least, cancel-anxious) groups for a few years has unfortunately infected me with an ability to write shitty thinkpiece theses, the two today so far have been “male/female designations of cables are transphobic” and “my sharona is pedophilic”

 

rendakuenthusiast:

I had the same thought re: cables some years ago but without the assumption that transphobia is bad or that people shouldn’t resist trans activists who try to make them stop referring to cables that way.

 

alexanderrm:

In the same vein of thought where wanting to know a stranger’s assigned gender at birth as soon as you meet them is equivalent to wanting to know what’s in their underwear or their private medical history, maybe there’s a hot take to be had that we should call them “penis” and “vagina” cables, which takes no longer to say, and is what we actually mean when we say “male/female” cables.

 

tototavros:

That would work, except no way in hell am I going to ask “Hey, anyone got any usb-vagina-wall-outlet-penis or micro-usb-penis-wall-outlet-penis cords?” in the office slack

 

rustingbridges:

I wouldn’t say that in the office, but on the other hand my girlfriend will absolutely live to regret your post

 

brin-bellway:

Huh. @tototavros, you *would* be willing to call them “male” and “female” in the office slack? I wouldn’t be comfortable with that myself: to me “male” and “female” feels like the barest fig leaf over the obvious genitalia references, still very crude overall.

(And indeed, “WTF, why are you referring to them so crudely” was my very first thought the first time I heard someone refer to them that way in my mid to late teens. I was boggled that she was not calling them “prongs” and “outlets” (sometimes “plugs” and “sockets”, though “plug” can be ambiguous as it is also an umbrella term) as I considered to be the norm, and even more boggled when I worked out that *most* subcultures in my meta-cultural neighbourhood consider comparing plugs to genitals to be the *standard* way of referring to them.)

 

tototavros:

Yes, mostly because I don’t know how to refer to them otherwise

(gf has informed me that male = connector, female = port works but i think that’d be too confusing)

#plug and socket are even more ambiguous imo

(see also)

—

TBH, it was pretty unnerving to learn that the prong/outlet dichotomy is not a widespread norm. Like, what *else* do I think is just how things are, until someday somebody who isn’t culturally SJ has no idea what I’m talking about and I fall face-first into an inferential crevasse?

@eightyonekilograms, I’m intellectually aware now that a great many dialects consider this terminology unremarkable (though I’d thought offices might be unusually strict, at least enough to make it uncomfortable on the part of the *speaker* even if none of the listeners actually cared), and while I generally don’t use it myself I try not to let my “this is strange and distasteful” reaction show. (I don’t think I even said anything about it to the *first* person, and she was likely too distracted to see the look on my face.)

Tags:

#reply via reblog #language #our roads may be golden or broken or lost #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #gender #nsfw text #scrupulosity cw?

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~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

tototavros:

being adjacent to cancel-heavy (or at least, cancel-anxious) groups for a few years has unfortunately infected me with an ability to write shitty thinkpiece theses, the two today so far have been “male/female designations of cables are transphobic” and “my sharona is pedophilic”

 

rendakuenthusiast:

I had the same thought re: cables some years ago but without the assumption that transphobia is bad or that people shouldn’t resist trans activists who try to make them stop referring to cables that way.

 

alexanderrm:

In the same vein of thought where wanting to know a stranger’s assigned gender at birth as soon as you meet them is equivalent to wanting to know what’s in their underwear or their private medical history, maybe there’s a hot take to be had that we should call them “penis” and “vagina” cables, which takes no longer to say, and is what we actually mean when we say “male/female” cables.

 

tototavros:

That would work, except no way in hell am I going to ask “Hey, anyone got any usb-vagina-wall-outlet-penis or micro-usb-penis-wall-outlet-penis cords?” in the office slack

 

rustingbridges:

I wouldn’t say that in the office, but on the other hand my girlfriend will absolutely live to regret your post

Huh. @tototavros, you *would* be willing to call them “male” and “female” in the office slack? I wouldn’t be comfortable with that myself: to me “male” and “female” feels like the barest fig leaf over the obvious genitalia references, still very crude overall.

(And indeed, “WTF, why are you referring to them so crudely” was my very first thought the first time I heard someone refer to them that way in my mid to late teens. I was boggled that she was not calling them “prongs” and “outlets” (sometimes “plugs” and “sockets”, though “plug” can be ambiguous as it is also an umbrella term) as I considered to be the norm, and even more boggled when I worked out that *most* subcultures in my meta-cultural neighbourhood consider comparing plugs to genitals to be the *standard* way of referring to them.)

Tags:

#nsfw text #language #our roads may be golden or broken or lost #reply via reblog #gender #discourse cw?

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~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

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transgirlkyloren:

I think if you’re writing porn online in this day and age and you have any sort of audience, even if you say “18+ only”, some teenagers are going to read it

(as well as some older people who for whatever reason don’t have much sexual and romantic experience)

and so part of Doing Porn Ethically is trying to make your porn something that you’d be okay with a very inexperienced person reading and drawing conclusions about sex from. and so some of that is trying to be realistic about the emotions involved with sex, about safer sex practices, about sexual ethics, and about the mechanics of sex and then when for whatever reason you don’t want to be realistic signposting ACTUALLY USING CONDOMS IS A VERY GOOD IDEA AND YOU SHOULD NOT RAPE OR ABUSE PEOPLE AND ALSO COME IS GENERALLY PRODUCED IN MUCH SMALLER QUANTITIES THAN THIS STORY CLAIMS

 

brin-bellway:

(I have a nagging feeling that I’ve misunderstood something here. I will tentatively post this anyway, but I might have gotten something wrong. (Although it’s also possible that the thing I’m wrong about is the sense that I’ve misunderstood something.))

—

Hmm. I’m so biased in favour of this that I can’t tell whether or not I actually agree with it on its own merits, rather than agreeing on the grounds of “I personally enjoy porn more when it’s about realistic ethical stuff, and I would like to encourage people to write their porn in a way I prefer”.

(Like…judging from context, this post was likely inspired by a post from yournaturalstate. I dislike yournaturalstate’s work primarily because it’s *unpleasant*, before even getting into any ethical considerations.)

—

I’m not sure whether this is a point in favour, or a point against, or a tangent, but it’s something related:

Mind-control porn in particular has problems with people insisting on putting blanket Do Not Try This At Home warnings on *everything*. Even things that are actually perfectly ethical and realistic. Even things that are thinly fictionalised scene logs of sex the author actually had (as an enthusiastically consenting bottom).

Written on the entrance to the largest and most well-known mind-control erotica repository are the words:

“The situations described here are at best impossible or at worst highly immoral in real life. Anyone wishing to try this stuff for real should seek psychological help and/or get a life.” (emphasis original)

(This warning is *not true*. Not in all cases.)

So personally, when I think of porn messing up impressionable teenagers, I think of teenagers being told they have to choose between being ethical (or safe) and satisfying their most deeply held desires. This dilemma is terrible enough when it *actually exists*; we *should not tell people it exists where it does not*, should not inflict that on more people than absolutely necessary.

(I say this as a former impressionable teenager falsely told her sexuality could not be safely fulfilled.)

…now that I’ve written that out, I guess this section is a point in-favour-but-with-reservations, pointing out a possible failure mode of a generally good idea. (And a failure mode the original context in question is particularly prone to, at that.)

(Well, okay, yournaturalstate specifically is not prone to it *enough*. But still, I’ve learned the hard way how easy it is to swing too far the other way.)

 

transgirlkyloren:

I think that noting which things are actually perfectly ethical and realistic is, in fact, part of having your porn be good sex ed. Misinforming people is bad sex ed. 

 

brin-bellway:

An excellent point. I agree.

Tags:

#relevant to the latest discourse #nsfw text #sexuality and lack thereof #discourse cw?

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

asexualactivities:

If you’re an ace who masturbates regularly, what happens if you don’t?

In the short term, I’ll be very tired all the time [link]. I’ll sleep an extra hour a day and still be exhausted. (Since masturbating takes me *less* than an hour a day†, this makes it strictly superior in terms of time, in *addition* to being more effective and more pleasant.)

In the medium term, nothing. I have a menstrual-phase-linked libido, so in general any given level of sex drive will go away if I wait a few days.

In the long term, it’s hard to distinguish the effect of not masturbating *per se* from the effect of whatever’s preventing me from masturbating. Being overwhelmingly busy is unpleasant, of course. So is ignorance of the outlets available to you: *believing* that there’s nothing you can do about sexual frustration, or that what you can do isn’t much [link].

—

†It’s important that I not feel rushed, so I give myself as long as I want and don’t check the time until afterward. However, “as long as I want” invariably turns out to be between 25 and 40 minutes.

Tags:

#nsfw text #sexuality and lack thereof #people who can distinguish between their drive for sleep and drive for sex fascinate me #reply via reblog #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

asexualactivities:

Catching up on the prompts from this week. Kind of long.

—

I have sex dreams, or at least, I have kink dreams. I tried to write an explanation, but I kept feeling like I was just recreating a bit from an email I wrote in August 2015. I might as well copy that here instead.

“My erotic dreams are about hive minds, mind-control magic, the occasional sedative, and, increasingly, mundane hypnosis (sometimes partnered, sometimes not). Genitals are rarely involved, and when they are they aren’t really the point. The dreams’ consent status tracks the stories I’ve been exposed to in waking life. When I was young and had only ever encountered non-con stories, I only ever had non-con dreams. Age 18 – 20, when I had a little bit of consensual stuff but mostly still had to resort to non-con, I had the occasional consensual dream but still mostly non-con. The past year, I’ve consumed mostly consensual stories, and had mostly consensual dreams. Some people are fundamentally disturbed by having rape dreams and worry what it says about them, but I’m not one of them. (Well, okay, I was at the *very* beginning, but I got over it quickly.) I prefer the consensual dreams for purely practical reasons: all else being equal, it is better to feel happy anticipation than terror at any given moment (even when I’ll be completely over the terror in twenty minutes), and when my response to figuring out what’s going to happen is to run away, about half the time I *succeed* in escaping. Wasted opportunities, those.

A few months back, I was curious how often I had erotic dreams, so I went through and counted how many were in my dream journal. I then divided this number by the number of days since I started keeping the dream journal, and came up with one day in 70. That’s the average over about 4.5 years.”

Since my libido varies with menstrual phase, I started wondering whether the frequency of erotic dreams also correlated with menstrual phase, and cross-referenced my dream journal with the menstruation marks on my calendar. Oddly, the main result was that I have erotic dreams during periods ~50% more often than I would if they were evenly distributed. (Menstruation is a “wildcard” time for me: my libido’s all over the place from period to period. I was expecting more dreams during ovulation, the consistently high-libido time, but it was only slightly higher than chance.)

Despite not “blooming”–my sexuality doesn’t seem to have changed all that much since my earliest memories, though I do understand it better now–I didn’t have my first erotic dream until I was 15. (It was about being assimilated by the Borg.)

When there are other people involved, they’re usually random NPCs, occasionally established fictional characters. (I don’t see their faces, but–being faceblind–there aren’t normally faces in my dreams anyway.) I don’t think I’ve ever had an erotic dream about real people. Sometimes I play myself, sometimes someone else.

—

I can enjoy porn, but damn is it hard to find good porn when you’re turned off by intercourse. (For extra “fun”, I’ve found myself being turned off by non-con these days too. There is consensual hypnosis porn out there, but most of it is still non-con.) I usually have to skim bits even at the best of times.

Once in a blue moon I’ll enjoy a still image, but I almost always use text-based porn. This is probably an extension of preferring text-based media in general (even non-sexual videos get overstimulating, and audios to a lesser extent), plus it’s easier to skim the squicky bits with text, or pause, or go back and savour a particularly good bit.

—

In subject matter, my fantasies are much like my dreams. I’d say their frequency and intensity varies with libido, but I pretty much *define* libido as the frequency and intensity of sexual fantasies, so that’s tautological. If I’m idly daydreaming in the background while I do other things, I won’t get turned on, but if I focus on it I usually will.

(Re: this post, I usually deal with the problem of getting bogged down in negotiation by having most or all of it happen offscreen. A lot of the problems you describe kind of sound like a mixture of not skipping over enough stuff and trying to have very visually detailed fantasies without having a detailed enough visual imagination to run them on. My visual imagination is towards the low-detail end, and I deal with this by just not having a lot of visual detail in my fantasies. There’s some visual aspects, but mostly I focus on verbal and touch/kinesthetic stuff.)

Okay, so the reason I couldn’t find that last paragraph for a context-link is because it was never on my blog at all. Fixing that.

(you’ve probably figured it out by the time you read this far, but I wrote the OP)

Tags:

#(October 2016) #conversational aglets #oh look an original post #sexuality and lack thereof #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #dreams #nsfw text

Anonymous asked: would be good if individuals could just easily adjust their own sex drives up or down as wanted, really. I mean, I know there are medications with either effect, but I don’t mean like that, I mean like you’d adjust a setting in a piece of software.

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

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theopjones:

brin-bellway:

theopjones:

brin-bellway:

argumate:

it would indeed be very handy!

I think like most emotions it would be kind of self-reinforcing, in that once you’re at one end of the scale the other end seems unappealing, but it would still be good to have the option available.

…do people normally find a given level of libido self-reinforcing?

Only middling-libido!mes want to stay that way long-term; I get sick of high libido after ~1 day and of low libido after ~1 week. (Unless I’m too distracted by other things to notice the vague sense of being incomplete that happens when my libido is too low for too long, which is how I spent the month of April. But even that is more “being sufficiently fucked up that your damage-assessment mechanism is also damaged”, rather than actually being okay with it.)

Mind you, when I see other people complaining of loss of libido, they’re almost always talking about practical effects and not the inherent badness of having an ego-syntonic part of your psyche go missing, which makes me wonder if maybe ego-neutral libidos are more common than typical-minding would lead me to believe.

Kind of my feeling is that I often get the feeling of IQ reduced by 25% around hot woman + weird effects on inhibitions (both reduced and increased. Which is sort of self-reinforcing. 

But is also why I agree with the anon that I don’t really like a lot of my sex drive. 

I would kind of like it if I could turn off my feelings of sexual and romantic attraction 2/3rds of the time. And thats a lot of the reason. I often don’t like a lot of the effect that it has on me.

And I also wish I could shut off a lot of inappropriate times I’m attracted to someone or a lot of the feelings of unrequited crushes and such.

…okay, in hindsight I guess I should have figured my other divergences would imply divergence here as well. I had…kind of forgotten that sex drives could have interpersonal effects, since mine doesn’t really.

(I wish you good luck and good coping.)

Yah. 

For me its very difficult to separate any feeling of sex drive from attraction to particular people that I find hot.

While I haven’t actually had sex yet, even when jerking off, its pretty difficult to separate the feeling of sex from individual attraction. Its pretty much inseparable from fantasizing about the people I find attractive.

Tags:

#(October 2017) #conversational aglets #sexuality and lack thereof #nsfw text #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #asexuality

SCC Prompt Set #166

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

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diaryofasnowflake:

What are some advantages of BDSM and D/s fiction?

You can get dark.  In real life BDSM, we play with the idea of non-consensual relationships, or completely one-sided ones, but we all know that at the end of the day, you’re talking about two people consensually exchanging power and caring for one another.  That’s the way it should be, but when you’re just reading to get off, you can make it really twisted without the same moral problems.

Also, I’m a mind control fetishist, so fiction allows for some fantasy scenarios that simply could not happen in real life.  

What are the risks?

Getting confused as heck.  When I was 14 and found hypnokinky erotica for the first time, I assumed that the fact that I was turned on by these fantasies meant that I wanted them in real life, even though I knew them to be abhorrent.  Plus, these websites often had disclaimers, saying that these were fantasies only and that acting on them meant you were sick.  I didn’t know that they were referring really to the non-consensual aspects, and that there was a way to satisfy these urges without running off a moral cliff.

So when fiction becomes predominant, and there aren’t counter-messages of what consensual BDSM looks like, it can be a real humdinger to work through it all.

These days, I actually bristle at so-called consensual BDSM porn.  First of all, it doesn’t do much for me; I get all that in real life.  Second of all, it comes off as moralizing, and that’s incongruous with writing that’s supposed to get people off.  Third of all, then you get the likes of 50 Shades of Grey.  The reason I hate that series is twofold: 1) It presents a creepy, messed-up relationship as consensual BDSM, making all its mistakes and insinuations about what it means to be kinky all the more messed up.  2) It has become a cultural reference point to refer to kink, and that shit IS NOT ME.

TL;DR: Kinky fiction is fun, but you have to learn the skills to separate reality from fantasy from BDSM play through other means, and misinformation or confusion can spread in the meantime.

 

brin-bellway:

I wonder how much of it coming off as moralizing is because of you not being into it? I’m having trouble thinking of moralizing examples, but then my reaction when I first discovered consensual hypno-kink erotica was “oh my god, where have you been all my life”. It’s very possible that the only reason I’m not rolling my eyes at stories trying to get all their ethical ducks in a row is because I happen to genuinely prefer ethical situations in my porn, right down to my id, and so I feel kindly disposed towards it.

(Or possibly I just haven’t read any of the really moralizing ones, especially since I still don’t have a better means of obtaining porn that at least sort of fits my tastes than “wander through seas of non-con and occasionally hit one by blind luck” (or the indirect word-of-mouth version, “wander through seas of recs for non-con and occasionally hit a rec by blind luck”).)

 

tennfan2:

Reblogging for finding other people who like consensual (even romantic) hypnokink erotica. We do exist!

(Also, the moralizing stuff does exist and it’s just exhausting.)

 

darthkyra:

We do exist indeed!

 

dancercoder:

yes yes yes

too much dubcon turns me off

and there are ways to slip in consent that aren’t awkward

 

serena627:

@spiralturquoise

 

brin-bellway:

I..seem to have accidentally hijacked your post, diaryofasnowflake. Sorry about that.

(Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to hear from the rest of you guys, and maybe we can get together and talk recs sometime, but I’m not sure if this thread is the right place to do it.)

 

diaryofasnowflake:

Ha, no worries.  I appreciate the passion with which people are approaching this post, and to clarify, not all consensual kinky porn bothers me as “moralizing,” but those stories clearly exist, e.g. 50SoG name-dropping BDSM and throwing in protocols to legitimize unhealthy practices.  Yes, my disinterest with some consensual stories also amounts to personal taste.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to see all different flavors of power exchange in fiction, folks.  Theeeee endddddd.

(Update, re: wandering through seas of non-con hoping to get lucky (so to speak): there has since been some progress in this field [link 1; link 2], and I encourage anyone who *does* go a-wandering to add some tags and help there be even more progress.)

Tags:

#(November 2015) #conversational aglets #sexuality and lack thereof #nsfw text