see we need to get back to our roots of shooting something so hard you change its genetics

We literally just learned this in my class about phytoremediation yesterday and it made me laugh so hard because the professor was like “downfalls include tissue damage and sometimes killing the organism”


#genetics #biology #the power of science #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #death tw?


I started reading Carolyn Elliott’s Existential Kink because of this blog post, am 1/3 through, and cannot imagine a book that could more appeal to me while also belonging to a genre that will say, “What [this book] is presenting to you here is … a witchy, tricksy, feminine path to enlightenment that’s quite a bit different than the more publicly vaunted, masculine routes of asceticism, contemplation, and yogic saintliness.”

The ultimate operation the book is trying to perform on the reader, assuming the reader has preexisting masochistic tendencies they can amplify, is to get them to notice the pleasure they can potentially take in the most uncomfortable moments of their lives and reframe it as pleasure. 

The worldview/aesthetic the book tries to impart:

[I thought,] “God is one kinky-ass motherfucker. God—the divine—whatever He/She/IT is—creates this world, and this world is a gonzo horror show of war and rape and abuse and addiction and disaster. If God is running the show, God must like it this way!” Now, you might guess that a thought like that would lead to some kind of terrible nihilistic breakdown. But for me… actually, it didn’t. Instead, it made me smile—perversely—and gave me a feeling of lightness, play, and possibility. …
Well if God is a kinky freak and I’m a part of God like all these “spiritual” people say, maybe deep down I’m a kinky freak too. And maybe I can get more in touch with my divine nature by giving myself permission to like all the scary stuff in life, instead of just resenting it. …
I propose that all our suffering and stuckness in life comes from forgetting that we’re divine sparks playing a wild kinky game and that great miracles can come forth in our lives when we reverse the process of forgetting by deliberately reclaiming the pleasure of the game.

The title is well chosen! The book is trying to get the reader to treat life itself as one big BDSM scene that they can lean into if they want.

Which, this is a weird sell, but it happens that I’m totally into this and have been doing it on my own*, so having someone dump a whole framework of doing life that extends this is delightful and intellectually stimulating!

* I used to be normally socially anxious where I just felt awful, but these days when I’m uncomfortable because I said something stupid or cruel, or someone’s pushing my boundaries, 50% of the time I notice and go, “whoa, I’m uncomfortable, that’s interesting and nice in a way”. I do this simply because it’s better to feel nice and interested than awful. Raw misery is hard to spin this way, but anything complicated where there’s some human nuance in it provides a launchpad for this transition.

The author describes “orgasmic meditation” where she lies down for a time-limited period, focuses on the sensation as someone rubs her clit, and does not attempt to change the kind of stimuli she is receiving. There are obviously strokes she likes and strokes she is less into, and part of the point is to expand the range of things she can enjoy – going from “oh, not this one” to “yes, even this one”. And you can apply this same process to, well, life:

This practice of “getting off on every stroke” can, by analogy, be extended beyond the context of Orgasmic Meditation (or sex) and be applied to life, wherein one considers everything that happens as a “stroke.” As in, comments that other people make to you—those are strokes. Surprising situations that arise—those are strokes. A critical monologue from some inner voice—those are strokes.

Also very congruent with how I (would like to) think of life.

I would never recommend this book broadly. Either you’re open to being expansively masochistic like this appealing or you aren’t. But man is it good at articulating a cohesive is+ought framework that, if you could lean into it, can get you to do this top-down reinterpretation of more experiences as pleasurable.


#(I’m going to be ragging on this‚ so I want to say upfront that if you are someone who gets something valuable out of this then that’s great #and you should live your joy) #(I reserve my emotions here for the pattern‚ not the readers) #…okay maybe this is overly meta but I *am* kind of fascinated by my visceral revulsion at this? #it’s kind of trainwrecky‚ I think #somebody actually managed to combine #”zealousness-of-converts!Buddhists waxing lyrical about how being a p-zombie is the highest form of existence” #and ”those assholes in kink spaces who think that because *they’re* into BDSM that everyone with non-normative sexual interests is too” #(with a touch of salvia memory-game shit for flavour!) #I did not expect to see *those* synthesised #(and yet it makes so much sense in hindsight) #and I have to take my hat off to it even as I hate every fibre of its being #tag rambles #sexuality and lack thereof #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #nsfw text #amnesia cw #death tw? #I don’t know‚ what’s the content warning for enlightenment





Hi OP! I’m on mobile and I have never before feared, respected and hated someone in such measures




this pain was inevitable. Someone was going to make it eventually. i didnt draw up the battle plans; i simply pulled the trigger



You are not free of sin simply because you judge yourself to be. It doesn’t matter who aimed the gun, you still chose to shoot knowing what it would cause. You say you are not a murderer because time would kill me anyway? You are a fool.



Another one for the raw-ass quotes list



Do you love the color of the plinko?



Possibly the best/worst version of this


#reblogging for the raw-ass quote #long post #color of the sky meme #death tw?


Weird peeve time. Calling lab grown gemstones “fake” is stupid because it’s the same shit just not formed naturally. An artificially grown diamond is the same shit as a natural diamond it is the exact same material bro it’s all fuckign carbon


It’s carbon it’s pretty and it didn’t involve slave labor what’s not to love??? Hi I’m having geology opinions tonight apparently. And I’m right


There is so much bullshit in the diamonds industry to be mad about tbh. It also ties into the bullshit of the wedding industry as a whole but we don’t have the time to unpack all that


not even going to lie, the day i learned i could get like 15 lab grown rubies the size of dimes for $20 is the day i spent $20 on rubies, and i have never once said to myself “man, i wish this cost $1,600 and the lives of eight children to produce”


We are a pro-lab-grown mineral blog here, not only is it massively cheaper but massively more ethical as well in many cases.


another very cool lab grown gem is Moissanite. It has a 9.25 on the mohs hardness scale where diamond is a 10. Moissanote also has a 2.69 refractive index in comparison to diamond’s 2.419 and here is the difference


and the best thing about moissanite? It is all lab grown and it costs only a fraction of what diamond costs. So fuck the diamond indsutry and buy lab grown gems which cost significantly less


Also it’s just cool to think of some mad scientist lookin person doing shit against the law of the universe and making pretty gems for you. Like cmon. This shouldnt be allowed probably. But humans really be like on gOD i want some shiny an just started MAKIN em


for years people wanted alchemy, well now we have alchemy and we’re making gemstones out of it and suddenly “it doesn’t count” anymore


#…there’s something interesting here about the clash between gems-as-decorative-shinies and gems-as-store-of-value #if you were wearing jewellery because it was beautiful then increased availability is an improvement #but if you were wearing jewellery to display wealth‚ and jewellery becomes cheap‚ then it ceases to fulfil its function #more sympathetically‚ if you used to take comfort in the idea that if you ever hit financial rock bottom #–(and‚ especially‚ if you were ever cut off from access to the local financial system)– #you’d be able to get by through pawning your jewellery‚ and jewellery becomes cheap‚ you’ve lost that safety net #(a safety net your ancestors and/or past selves paid good money for‚ money now wasted) #((a few months back I had my mom help me go through the jewellery I’ve accumulated as gifts over the decades #and figure out which ones are valuable and which ones are costume)) #((I store the valuable ones separately from the others so that I can grab the container and run)) #((because silver is a better trade good than steel even if they’re equally shiny)) #((the world is full of stories of refugees who got the starting funds for a new life by selling the jewellery they wore when they escaped)) #I know a whole lot of people place a whole lot more value on decoration than I do #so I expect cheap gemstones are still *net* good #but I see the downsides here #tag rambles #jewellery #101 Uses for Infrastructureless Computers #adventures in human capitalism #proud citizen of The Future #disappointed permanent resident of The Future #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #death tw? #this probably deserves some other warning tag but I am not sure what




#I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #…things move so fast huh #we haven’t bought any more game consoles since getting a Wii‚ so it still kind of feels new to me #similar deal with Kinect except we’ve never actually had one #death tw? #aging cw? #Space Warlord Organ Trading Simulator



rb and put in tags how many ppl your tumblr icon has killed

My old one was a surrealist painting that symbolized the horrors of the Spanish civil war, so that one was probably a lot, but tumblr’s anti-porn algorithm apparently thought two-headed monsters strangling themselves were too sexy, so I had to replace it with some melting clocks, which I sure hope don’t have a body count.


#my icon produces oxygen and as such has killed negative numbers of people #memes #icons #death tw? #murder cw?


Rosemary? You mean spicy pine needles?



Are you insinuating that regular pine needles aren’t spicy???



Regular pine needles are regular



Not by rosemary standards



…Have you eaten pine needles?



We’ve been friends for like four years, do you seriously have to ask if I’ve eaten pine needles or not



I mean I’m pretty sure you have but I don’t want to assume



Of course I’ve eaten pine needles. Various kinds. Singleleaf pinyon is weirdly the best



Are they…

{{in cursive font:}} spicy?



You know, I’d love to tell you but I’m pretty unclear about what marks the difference between “spice” and “strong-tasting plant that isn’t considered a spice”



I’ll have to eat some pine needles myself then to find out



Ok but it only counts if they’re PINE needles and not just any old needle-like leaf off a tree



I’m going to eat every needle-like leaf I see



Please Don’t Do That



Needle-Like Leaf Roulette



…I’ll accept this plan as long as you promise not to eat any yew leaves.



I can try very hard not to



Pine needles are distinguished by the presence of a sheath-like structure at the base of the leaf, almost always holding bundles of two or more leaves. Yews don’t have the sheath thing



It’s time for me to go out into the woods and stare at needle leaves



Finally you can gain real insight into my average daily life



this conversation reads like two shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief and then are never heard from again



god fucking dammit gimme a minute




I tell thee, rosemary is like a pine
but with a spicy taste.

                        Art thou to claim
that needles base of pine have not a spice?

A needle base of pine is merely base.

‘Tis not when held, comparing, to anthos.

My dearest Malus, needles thou’st eaten?

How many moons have we as friends seen rise?
How many suns have we as friends seen set?
Thou sixteen seasons in my heart I’ve held,
and hope that I in thine hast been the same.
With brotherhood as rich and old as this,
thou needst not ask me such frivolities.

I know thou likely has, to tell the truth,
but I would not assume.

                      Well, yes, I have.
A multitude of types I’ve eaten too.
I’ll tell thee now: the best (though it is strange)
is single-leaf pinyon.

                    And it has spice?

I truly wish that I could tell thee this,
but now, i’faith, I cannot fully tell,
the difference in classifying thus:
to say “has spice” or merely “herbal strength”.

To tell this tale most clearly it would seem
that eating needles from a pine’s required.

Aye, it would seem that that’s the task at hand,
but caution tells that this is what’s to do:
eat only needles of the honest pine,
and none of lying leaf with pinelike shape.

I’ll eat them all.

                  I prithee, stay thyself.

Roulette with leaves.

                    At least restrain from yew.

I’ll do my best.

               That is all can we do.
The scholars tell that needles true of pine
can be distinguished from the lying yew
by sheathlike clothing all along the base;
the yew has no such guard.

                         With this new truth
I now will venture out into the wood
and seek the pines and pinelike fakes alike
to stare them down and learn their secret truths.

With this thou canst at long and weary last
Discover for thyself my life’s own path.



Yo dudes that king there’s dead. Like dead as FUCK.


#food #poison cw #Shakespeare #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #juxtaposition #death tw?


Concept: metroidvania where upgrades are gained by dying. Every time something kills you, you reincarnate at your most recent save point with an adaptation that grants a. a new movement or interaction ability, and b. immunity to whatever got you this time. The trick is that all of the obvious ways to die will quickly be exhausted (granting you your bread-and-butter toolkit in the process), so in order to stay on the upgrade treadmill you have to search out increasingly esoteric ways to get yourself killed off.



@because-im-freaking-greed replied:

I assume that dying to novel enemies won’t cut it?

The premise would make it tricky for the game to be combat-focused in the first place. If present, enemies would probably function more as obstacles than threats; any that do have the ability to kill you only get to do so once each, and then you’re immune to that attack form – like, maybe there’s a robot that kills you with a giant laser, and when you come back you can turn invisible (and will in fact do so reflexively when shot by giant lasers in the future, regardless of source, allowing them to pass harmlessly through you).



Death to impact definitely makes you bounce.  You could potentially make that two different version for fall damage vs. someone hitting you very hard with a baseball bat, but that’s logic vs. what feels right, so I’ll leave it undecided.  Maybe some kind of subdual procedure, and you need to find the one bot that’s overclocked by a few hundred newtons.

If they were different, it’d make sense on the grounds of them being subtly different forms of mobility (i.e. how you use them)

You could potentially do it as, like… a containment breach game?  Sort of an Aperture Science dubious science institution?  Or maybe a bit more SCP.

Either way, you’d definitely be up against people with a vested interest in keeping you contained and alive. (probably because they know what you’re capable of.)

So…  Knockout gas, and if you want to pass it, you have to be able to just, not breathe, which you probably get by finding a way to drown yourself.

The invisibility you get from diving into their Science Laser also lets you sneak past their security grid, letting you avoid more guards.

The problem I’m noticing here is that there’s a lot of passive stuff, and it feels like it’s hard to justify a lot of active abilities because you the player or you the character could choose to just… not use them.



The trick to avoiding having the player character simply accumulate a laundry list of passive invulnerabilities is to have whatever mechanism is responsible for their repeated resurrection come up with extremely weird adaptations to whatever killed them. The “killed by a laser, become invisible” example should not be an outlier!

Other examples could include:  

  • Death by fire seems to grant the expected basic heat immunity, except you’ll quickly discover that if you heat up too much, you’ll explosively vent the accumulated thermal energy shortly after leaving the hot environment. This could be used to destroy obstacles, but it could also be an obstacle in itself, if whatever’s on the other side of the hot environment would react poorly to being blown up.
  • Death by falling might make you bounce; alternatively, it might make you shrink, thereby reducing your terminal velocity and rendering the impact with the ground harmless (i.e., by the same principle that insects and small rodents can fall long distances without harm). If you want to be a real bastard about it, this one can’t be triggered voluntarily, so if you need to fit into a small space you need to figure out how to fall near its entrance.
  • Death by acid? Secrete a neutralising base! The effect of the two substances cancelling each other out is purely cosmetic if you’re just, say, walking through acid rain, but if you manage to fully immerse yourself in the stuff, the resulting vigorous chemical reaction can be used as a makeshift form of propulsion.
  • Being killed by the claws of an animal-like monster grants the ability to emit a very loud, annoying noise, scaring them off. This would figure into sound-based puzzles later on, of course, but it also triggers automatically on proximity to threats similar to the one that granted it, which might be exploited to create stealth challenges.



How would you design a final boss in this system, though?



Assuming that the game has bosses (which is by no means a given), there are lots of games where the final boss fight’s primary failure state isn’t “the boss kills you” – designing a final boss around an unkillable player character probably requires less outside-the-box thinking than designing regular enemies around the same.


#story ideas I will never write #death tw?


Sherlock Holmes modern adaptation but the main characters (Sherlock, Watson, Mrs. Hudson, Irene Adler, and maybe even Lestrade) are all vampires and they’ve just been doing their thing since the time period of the original books

Irene gets to be from New Jersey like she is in canon and she’ll occasionally show up and help Sherlock with a case but they don’t ever date or hook up or anything



OR… Lestrade isn’t a vampire, but there’s been generations of Lestrades, and they all have to deal with this guy



the latest one isn’t even a cop she works nights at the 7-11 and Sherlock keeps coming in at 2am to slam two gallons of Monster Energy and ask her what what the fuck an “amogus” is (it’s case related) and tell her how much better she is at lateral thinking than her tragically straightforward ancestor and also is her girlfriend still going to school to be a defense attorney, how’s she handling the workload



okay, but who turned them and when? bc there is a lot of delicious angst and goofiness to be exlored if say:

irene has kids before being turned and is invested in her descendants

john was already with mary and has to see her age and pass

mrs. hudson is the vampire queen

the lestrades are like. the opposite of the vanhelsings. generational disinterest in vampires, but the holmes enclave keeps roping them back in.



1) Irene adopts and yes she is The Cool Grandma for generations of children forevermore

2) Mary is also a vampire, she got turned at the same time as John, she and Sherlock have Wine Wednesdays every third Saturday of the month

3) Mrs. Hudson is immortal but she’s not a vampire and nobody can figure out what her deal is

4) absolutely 100% correct

whenever anybody asks how they got turned the response is something along the lines of “that was like. Over five years ago. How do you expect me to even remember that.” or “idk man I just woke up like this” or “got bitten by a mosquito on a case” and it’s never the same twice



Yes the Sherlock Holmes books exist and whenever they’re brought up Watson gets very upset that this dude stole his writing and considers him his archnemesis despite the fact that Doyle is a totally normal human and dead as hell



imagine Watson’s frothing rage at the Doyle estate insisting Holmes can never be shown having emotions. like he didn’t personally watch Sherlock weep during the moon landing.



Holmes and Watson are embroiled in a legal battle against the Doyle estate and have been for almost 100 angry, angry years

this is only ever mentioned in passing for comedic effect



Holy shit, I would 100000% watch this. Also, Moriarty is definitely the one who turned them into vampires. At least Holmes, probably at Reichenbach.



being contemporary they were turned by dracula after a case about someone opening family tombs to dismember the corpses

he is only ever referred to as that lovely foreign gentleman


#Sherlock Holmes #vampires #story ideas I will never write #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #death tw?