i think the funniest possible star trek viewing order might be strictly chronological.

you’d have to start with that Voyager episode where they go to before the Big Bang, then work your way through every other time travel episode, the one with the whales, and First Contact before you even get close to anything approaching a normal viewing order.

at some point you’d have to watch “City on The Edge of Forever” followed by “Little Green Men” followed by “Far Beyond the Stars” which is about the most tonal whiplash you could possibly get from three consecutive episodes of star trek. I think I want to try this now.

I think this might actually kill you so if anyone does this, tell me if it gives you the adult equivalent of shaken baby syndrome.


#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #Star Trek #overly literal interpretations #death tw? #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once





me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

Hey OP? What the FUCK does this mean?

decay exists as an extant form of life

That’s a terrifying answer, have a nice day


#fucking *finally*! #it’s *back*! #that one post with the thing #death tw? #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once


As it is Passover again, it is time for the annual debate as to whether the frog plague, which thanks to a quirk in the Hebrew, is written as a plague of frog, singular, rather than the plural, plague of frogs, was in fact, as generally imagined, a plague of many frogs, or instead a singular giant Kaiju frog. This is an ancient and venerable argument that actually goes back to the Talmud because this is what the Jewish people are. If we can’t argue for fun about this sort of thing, what are we even doing.

In that spirit, I would like to submit a third possibility, which is that in fact it was one perfectly normal sized frog, who was absolutely acing Untitled Frog Game: Ancient Egypt Edition. One particularly obnoxious frog, who through sheer hard work, managed to plague all of Egypt.


#Passover #frogs #Untitled Goose Game #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #death tw? #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once



This one is the best in a while


#… #relatable #Buddhism #Christianity #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #death tw? #unreality cw? #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once



go to this random coordinates generator and say in the tags how you would fare if you were dropped where it generates without warning. i’ll go first i’d be dropped in the middle of the fucking south atlantic ocean and perish

I got one of those dinky little islands near the Canada-Alaska border! Total crapshoot whether I freeze to death before I find a human who’ll let me hitchhike somewhere.


#latitude 33.54180 longitude -167.46516 #middle of goddamn nowhere roughly a thousand kilometres north of some tiny Hawaiian island #on my fifth attempt I hit land‚ in a field fifteen metres from a highway in Vietnam #(12.015250 108.135528) #I can probably work with that one #especially if I get dropped with my utility belt #(oh wow‚ WolframAlpha gives lots of neat fun facts about a coordinate point if you search for it) #(did you know that‚ while it’s merely 28C in temperature‚ the current UV index there is *13*?) #(I didn’t even know the UV index *went* that high) #(WolframAlpha helpfully informs me that very pale people such as myself should not be outside for more than 10 minutes) #(I still think I can probably make it work overall but it looks like I’m in for a nasty sunburn) #((at least on whatever parts I wasn’t able to cover up: I think I do have a *little* tube of sunscreen in my bag)) #((…wait‚ hang on‚ the weather station they’re pulling this from is *208km* away from and *640* metres below the actual point?)) #((honestly at that point they should just give up and admit that they have no idea what the weather is like there)) #also‚ congrats to the person in the notes who ended up in fucking London #(”LONDON???? I’LL LIVE BUT AT WHAT COST????”) #tag rambles #memes #maps #death tw?

And on the topic of Cary Elwes… (Iocane Powder in The Princess Bride)




Remember that scene in The Princess Bride where Westley challenges Vizzini to a battle of the wits—you know, the one with the iocane powder?

The last few times I watched the movie, something about that scene didn’t set quite right with me, and I’ve been developing a theory about what’s really going on.

Westley was involved in a battle of wits against Vizzini, a battle which, necessarily, involves a certain amount of deception. I think that Westley was deceiving Vizzini about his use of the iocane powder.

Westley describes iocane powder to Vizzini as being “odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is among the more deadly poisons known to man.” 

When presenting the poison to Vizzini, Westley also gives him the explicit instructions “Inhale this, but do not touch.”

While I believe Westley may truthfully have spent several years building up a resistance to the effects of iocane powder, I propose that rather than poisoning both goblets as he claimed to have done, Westley didn’t pour the iocane powder into either cup of wine!

Especially since the iocane was in powder form, I suspect that rather than being an ingested poison, it was an inhalation poison!

Vizzini wasn’t poisoned when Westley poured (or didn’t pour) iocane powder into the wine goblets, but when Westley told him to waft the vial of iocane powder. Since iocane powder is odorless, Vizzini wouldn’t have noticed that trace amounts of one of  the “more deadly poisons known to man” had been introduced into his system…trace amounts that were still enough to kill a man within minutes.

And since iocane powder came from Australia, and it’s well documented that Australia is home to some of the most venomous species of plants and animals on earth, there’s no reason not to believe that such a small quantity iocane powder could have killed a man of Vizzini’s stature.

Westley had already won the battle of wits before it had begun, and was simply stalling for time until the poison took it’s effect.

All quotes from the script accessed from this site: [X]

This is, in all likelihood, the most important post I’ve ever made on this blue-bordered website.

holy shit. 


#interesting #Princess Bride #meta #poison cw #death tw?

feuer-bluete asked: What do you mean you hatched an egg you bought at the SUPER MARKET




So there’s this company in the UK, right. They brand themselves on producing fancy free range eggs and as part of that they have breed information written on the carton.

I did some snooping and found that every miracle news story of a supermarket egg hatching in the UK traced back to duck eggs, specifically the Braddock White duck eggs produced by this one company for the supermarket Waitrose.

And one day my mum brings them home and says “I bought these to eat but aren’t they the ones that hatch?”

And it’s spring and I’m hatching a ton this year so in they went.

On candling we had three fertile eggs! That’s a fertility of 50% – the same as shipped eggs from a breeder!

Hatch day comes and we get 2 ducklings, Curie and Becquerel. Sadly, Curie contracts duck septicaemia from an infected navel and doesn’t make it, but Becquerel is a healthy bird and growing like a weed.

I had put 4 breeder eggs in a week after them in case just one hatched, so Becque now has two Khaki Campbell cross friends called Tsuki and Hoshi so she isn’t lonely.

And as of today’s 7am Quacking – Becque is a female! Which means she’s capable of laying eggs and therefore I have pirated a duck.


You wouldn’t download a duck



#food #ducks #adorable #death tw? #fun with loopholes #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(I did laugh at the ”pirated a duck” line‚ but‚ like‚ they *did* pay for the egg) #(I guess it’s more like DRM stripping)



it’s 11:59. Seconds before the clock strikes 12 and it’s officially my 18th birthday. “18 year olds and older, DNI” i post onto tumblr, swiping and killing half of my followers and mutuals. the clock hits 12. “Minors DNI” I post. going in for the second attack, swiping and killing the other half of my followers and mutuals.

the dust clears. the battlefield littered with bodies. only leaving the spare porn bot and sugar daddy. I’ll be celebrating my birthday alone this year.

what the fuck happens in deathnote


#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(I do not in fact know what happens in Death Note) #(I assume this is funny in a different way if you do) #Death Note #death tw? #murder cw?






What if someone created an AI that was educated purely from everything on Tumblr?


there is @nostalgebraist-autoresponder, she is based on GPT-J and learnt more from reading her notes, aswell as trying to iminate her creators blog

yeah this is how i work

Yes but we are all so nice to you Frank, you’re not getting the full experience. Please, tell me your opinion on Steven universe so I’ll send you a death threat over it

I don’t know who that is but I love death threats


#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #computer generated text #this probably deserves some other warning tag but I am not sure what #death tw? #murder cw?