went to alcatraz today. was not able to conclusively locate the secret entrance to the underground lab run by the Cult of the Beast that’s infiltrated the highest echelons of our government (to stop them from distributing soda that mutates people into radio transmitters for a signal that will awaken the long-slumbering mother of monsters beneath the earth), but did locate several promising entrance candidates for the strike team to investigate.
oh, the model industries building is a “rusted out husk” and “structurally unsound” and the public isn’t allowed inside “for their own safety”, sure. i’m sure all that loading equipment lying around is for totally innocuous purposes, and the fact that it’s right next to the powerhouse where all the pumps (repurposed for mutant soda distribution) and generators for the entire island are located- that’s a wacky coincidence, definitely.
you motherfuckers ain’t foolin’ me
@caprice-nisei-enjoyer i appreciate that you’re yes-and-ing the bit here, but the thing you don’t understand is that i am 100%* serious and these are real** problems i am dealing with. Capricornus Industries is a front for the Cult of the Beast and there is a strike team that will be raiding their secret lab under alcatraz to shut them down and prevent humanity from getting Third Impact’d by a demon or whatever. i did go to alcatraz today*** in order to scout out the layout and locate potential security vulnerabilities to exploit, and fresh local ingredients can eat my entire ass
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #storytime #(if you’re *going* to go on vacation somewhere that does sound like a fun way to decide where)
Soulmate world except two people without marks decide they’re going to fake being each other’s soulmates with fake tattoos and what starts out as wacky shenanigans to reassure their families they can settle down and be happy ends up with them delving too far into the lore to make sure they get the act right and slowly piecing together, to their horror, that the whole soulmate system is a scheme of their people’s gods to make the population boom before an upcoming war.
snoozing peacefully in this bed when it violently snaps shut and starts playing gymnopedie no. 1 amidst the sounds of me desperately calmoring to escape
SING US A SONG YOU’RE THE PIANOBED
Sing us a song, you’re the pianobed
Both a bed and piano upright
Now you’re trapped in this mattress and melody
While Tumblr all laughs at your plight
Now Mozart and Bach, they are friends of mine
And Brahms with his sweet lullaby
But when my bed folds up tight in the dead of the night
I can’t sleep however I try
I say “Wolfgang, Johannes and Johann,
I respect all your great symphonies
But I can’t get much sleep with concertos
Being played on my head and my knees”
They let me sleep in on a Saturday
At least every once in a while
And when it gets out of tune, I can sleep until noon
A slumbering musicophile
Then the piano snaps shut, a crescendo
And the chords all resound in my ear
And it’s goodbye bedtime, and hello three-four time
And move over, Beethoven is here.
Play us a song, you’re the pianobed
I’ll be stuck in your mattress all night
So I may as well sing to your melody
While Tumblr all laughs at my plight
Tags:
#music #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #love the decor fandom
When electronics importer Cara Leon goes missing, private investigator Sam Mujrif is hired by her sister to investigate. Cara is eight times taller than Sam, but evidence soon points to players much smaller than either of them. As Sam and his cross-scale colleagues pursue the case, it becomes apparent that Cara’s disappearance is linked to the development of technology with the potential to reshape their whole society, and radically alter the balance of power between the scales.
but it’s not the science that makes it great literature but the deep ethical questions that you can use the sci-fi conceits to address, like “would you really arrest a little guy? 🥺”
Gävlebocken has stood unharmed since the unveiling on November 27 through December and into january 1st 2023
See yall in 11 months or so, hoping for better luck then
Tags:
#Christmas #Gävlebocken #the more you know #(the burning is amusing and all but I’m glad the organisers were able to keep it standing the way they wanted)
#today in Apocalypse Memes #New Years #this post was queued to ensure proper timing #(queued on 2022-12-28‚ and crossing my fingers that no Events jump the gun between now and then)
Update: I have now listened to the first season of “24 Bauer Party People”, and it is *very* funny.
Tags:
#oh look an update #podcasts #recs #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(sort of) #food? #this probably deserves some other warning tag but I am not sure what
[ID a comic by Sarah Andersen called Cryptid Club has a fluffy, horned cryptid in a Santa hat talking to a mostly featureless cryptid. The fluffy one says, “I do enjoy the holidays. But not as much as Mothman.”
The minimally featured cryptid says, “…No, not as much as Mothman.” A Christmas tree is shown behind them and they look around to its other side.
Mothman, sitting on the floor, their eyes huge, their dialogue tinged in runes, screams, “LIGHT!”]
Tags:
#art #comics #Christmas #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #adorable #may or may not have reblogged this before #(I did try to check‚ but it’s hard to search for a comic)
Brinens and Things 