my best OC is Brad Wayne, Bruce’s illegitimate biological child via a totally normal woman he had a fling with when he was younger and didn’t stay in touch with
Brad grew up a totally normal kid, went to college, joined a frat, and decided to get in touch with Bruce, who now has an awkward situation on his hands
now the other Batkids have to deal with fucking Brad Wayne, whose normalacy is absolutely insufferable… he tells Dick to try yoga and suggests that Tim will sleep better if he gets more exercise… Bruce goes out of town and Brad decides it’s time to throw a house party with his frat friends
he’s so good
All of Brad’s Bat-siblings are absolutely unprepared to deal with him. They can’t handle it. They can’t even hate him properly, even Damien, because he’s just… he’s not even… he’s just Some Guy™️!
They’re all braced for the inevitable reveal that he’s a villain, an imposter, or an interloper there to usurp the Wayne fortune or spy on Batman. They have all sorts of plans to foil his schemes and the only thing they’re not able to prepare for is the fact that he’s just. Brad. He’s not a bad guy, but he’s not a saint, either—his problems are just so mundane, so ordinary.
They TRY to understand what his life is like, but how are they supposed to relate to someone who doesn’t text back because he’s hungover or his phone died, not because he’s tied up in a death trap somewhere being menaced by someone in a Halloween costume?
No one’s ever tried to ritually sacrifice him before and it shows.
Does he know they are the batfam? Or does he just think it is so cool that his dad has adopted all these kids that needed a home?
Oh he has no idea. Brad didn’t grow up in Gotham and isn’t really familiar with its culture, so he thinks it’s an ordinary city with ordinary problems (presumably there’s still a concept of ‘ordinary’ in the DCU).
When someone tries to tell him he laughs it off. Maybe one of his friends asks him about the popular rumor that Bruce Wayne is Batman, but he’s never even contemplated the possibility. Later he’s trying to coax Dick into playing beer pong and loudly tells the story to party guests as a funny anecdote. He thinks the whole concept of Batman is hilarious. Maybe he makes up stories about seeing Batman to impress his family and make himself sound cool.
Eventually though some bad guy who wants a huge ransom is going to kidnap Brad. What happens then? Does Batman call in a favor to one of the other members of the Justice League or does Damien go out and rescue his brother and tell him he’s the most useless of all his brothers because he’s so ordinary? Because you know if anyone is going to blab it’s going to be Damien.
Brad gets kidnapped and Steph and/or Cass rescue him in costume.
Later, in Wayne Manor, he tells his family all about how the Batgirls were totally flirting with him and how he managed to take out a few of the bad guys all by himself.
Brad Wayne: “Hey, do you guys think Batman fucks? Like, you think he has ever gotten laid?”
Dick, stiffly: “Um. Yes. I think so.”
Brad: “Really? Guy sounds like a turbo-virgin to me. I mean, he fights crime in a fursuit! Come on!”
Tim: “I have it on reasonable authority that Batman fucks. Unfortunately.”
Steph: “Hey, Damian. Penny for your thoughts?”
Tags:
#Batman #fanfic #story ideas I will never write #kidnapping cw #this probably deserves some other warning tag but I am not sure what #embarrassment squick?
Brinens and Things 
One thought on “”