My specialty at work (eg, what I tend to get thrown into) is wrangling clever but extremely poorly behaved children. (The children are adolescent, but children nonetheless.) They tend to be boys. They tend to have ADHD. (It’s possible that the focus on the clever rules out the ADHD girls, who have cleverly developed better masking skills by adolescence.)

The current bright and terrible-on-purpose disaster, A, is aware of the ADHD diagnosis but has apparently been told nothing about the disability. So a lot of our conversations go like this:

Me: Well, I’d ask you why you decided to start making richly detailed but extremely inappropriate jokes during class, but I’m pretty sure the answer is that someone started yelling at you for doing it before you realized that you were.

A, leaning backward, looking concerned: Are you following me?

Me: Yes, that’s what I do with the spare time I don’t have during the day, follow aggravating children around. We have so few of them here.

A, put out either because I’ve called him aggravating or because he’s not special and aggravating: Sarcasm isn’t very nice, Ms. T.

Me, sarcastically: I’m so sorry. Maybe you looked at the work first, thought boring, and then decided to be an enormous brat.

A: You can read minds?!

Me: Clearly we need executive dysfunction strategies for you, because if we don’t get in front of it you’ll be an adult who sits on their sofa for forty minutes yelling at herself to do the dishes and never does them.

A, trying to politely muffle laughter: Are you doing all right, Ms. T?

Me: Out of dishes, but fine. What’s working in your classes? Your Literature grade is good, why are you doing the reading?

A looks left. Right. Up. At his phone.

Me: … You aren’t doing the reading, are you? The other kids ask questions because they don’t understand it, and you figure out what it has to be about from the answers and never read.

A: Are you in my Lit class??

Me: Okay, look, ADHD brains are weird, and we tend to get them from our families, so these –

A, immediately: My dad.

Me, derailed from my drug interaction speech: Yeah, okay. When your dad has coffee, does he get calmer?

A, backing away: You’re stalking my whole family now?!


#ADHD #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #embarrassment squick? #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once





#birds #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #embarrassment squick? #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once





Too tired to draw but I still need everyone to be aware of this bizarre interaction I had at work this morning


Worth mentioning is that I’m in Iceland and the store I work at only accepts icelandic króna so like even euros wouldn’t have worked in this case

It occurs to me now that since cash registers are full Internet connected computers these days, surely they could be programmed to accept any currency and calculate appropriate change, with an exchange spread and an owner-configured Annoying Foreigner Surcharge.

Our full-Internet-connected-computer cash register *has* a foreign-exchange button, but (for some reason I am not privy to) it’s turned off. Our store policy is that we take U.S. cash at parity (with Canadian): if you want to pay a 35% Annoying Foreigner Surcharge, be our guest.

(Though I acknowledge that it makes a lot more sense to have a pre-existing policy on how to handle U.S. cash in Canada than it does in Iceland.)

(I think I had a guy hand me a USD$10 bill *once* in the several years I’ve worked here, and he was very apologetic about it and asked permission before ordering. Mostly it’s just a matter of not bothering to point it out when someone accidentally hands you an American nickel instead of a Canadian nickel.

We’re not *supposed* to accept when people accidentally give us British nickels or Jamaican dimes or something, but often cashiers don’t notice. Sometimes I’ll trade the cash register for it out of my own wallet so I can bring it home and go “hey guys, check out this neat coin we found!”.)


#reply via reblog #in which Brin has a job #adventures in human capitalism #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #discourse cw? #embarrassment squick?




i went to crunchyroll’s home page and the text was, for whatever reason, in Arabic


I was confused about this for a moment, until i noticed the url. because, you see, when I visited they detected my IP address and helpfully redirected me to

amazing. extremely helpful.

(i can bypass this to get a language i can read by manually switching to /es/, at least. would really just rather they let me get the english version but replacing it with /en/ just gets me a 404)


wild, it doesn’t do that for me

can’t believe crunchyroll is only xenophobic against me specifically


#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(context: both of the people in this thread are Argentinian) #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #embarrassment squick? #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once





Can’t fucking stand this bitch. Just missed my charger port after two drinks




In a timeline darker than ours this is a reality


#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #BBC Sherlock #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #embarrassment squick? #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once


he/him • 20 • iron deficient • 18mg methylphenidate • 52°01’04.9″N 8°29’17.4″W • 10% tax bracket • spare key under doormat • 30G • broken ankle (recovered) • last name Jones (previously Davis) • conventionally attractive • driver’s license ID 737927323 • vacationing in another country Feb. 13-Feb. 21 • 5’11” / 180cm • born in Chicago, Illinois • nonanemics DNI


#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(cosmea’s tag in the notes: ”fake post people from chicago physically cannot enter ireland”) #…10% tax bracket in *which country* though #he’s strongly implied he’s subject to two countries’ tax agencies #*pokepoke* #America: Ireland apparently doesn’t have a 10% bracket #man don’t break into the house of someone in the 10% tax bracket‚ that’s just kicking them while they’re down #odds are decent he doesn’t have much worth stealing anyway #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #embarrassment squick? #unreality cw?

{{previous post in sequence}}




me: I have no idea how much water we use because we don’t have a meter on our well.

10 sec later: Oh no… I’m in the middle of redoing the plumbing and now I’m going to add a meter.

20 sec later: Yeah, a meter on the hot water sure would be useful too.

me (yesterday): orders a meter

them (yesterday): emails me “Do you really want this meter? It measures cubic meters, we could give you one that measures gallons.”

me (yesterday): emails them “Yes, I want the one that measures in m³, and has pulse output counting liters.”

them (today): calls me (aka. voicemail) “Do you really want this meter? It measures cubic meters, we could give you one that measures gallons.”

me: …


#conversational aglets #domesticity #adventures in human capitalism #embarrassment squick?



in recent events of that zoo losing the clouded leopard, it reminded me of the time i went to a large petting zoo and there was a free roaming little black sheep. cutest little guy i ever saw, soi went to the zookeeper nearby and said ‘i think its really cute how you have a sheep thats allowed to just walk around. ‘ then the zookeepers eyes widened and he grabbed his walky talky and ran



#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #embarrassment squick?


Legolas pretty quickly gets in the habit of venting about his travelling companions in Elvish, so long as Gandalf & Aragorn aren’t in earshot they’ll never know right?

Then about a week into their journey like

Legolas: *in Elvish, for approximately the 20th time* ugh fucking hobbits, so annoying

Frodo: *also in Elvish, deadpan* yeah we’re the worst





Legolas: ugh fucking hobbits

Merry: Frodo what’d he say

Frodo: I’m not sure he speaks a weird dialect but I think he’s insulting us. I should tell him I can understand Elvish

Merry: I mean you could do that but consider

Merry: you can only tell him ONCE

Frodo: Merry. You’re absolutely right. I’ll wait.


#legolas’ hick accent vs #frodo’s ‘i learned it out of a book’ accent #FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Legolas: umm well your accent is horrible


Frodo: :)


Frodo: Hello. My name is Frodo. I am a Hobbit. How are you?

Legolas: y’alld’ve’ff’ve

Frodo, crying: please I can’t understand what you’r saying


Ok, but Frodo didn’t just learn out of a book. He learned like… Chaucerian Elvish. So actually:

Frodo: Good morrow to thee, frend. I hope we twain shalle bee moste excellente companions.

Legolas: Wots that mate? ‘Ere, you avin’ a giggle? Fookin’ ‘obbits, I sware.

Aragorn: *laughing too hard to walk*






i mean, honestly it’s amazing the Elves had as many languages and dialects as they did, considering Galadriel (for example) is over seven thousand years old.

english would probably have changed less since Chaucer’s time, if a lot of our cultural leaders from the thirteenth century were still alive and running things.

they’ve had like. seven generations since the sun happened, max. frodo’s books are old to him, but outside any very old poetry copied down exactly, the dialect represented in them isn’t likely to be older than the Second Age, wherein Aragorn’s foster-father Elrond started out as a very young adult and grew into himself, and Legolas’ father was born.

so like, three to six thousand years old, maybe, which is probably a drop in the bucket of Elvish history judging by all the ethnic differentiation that had time to develop before Ungoliant came along, even if we can’t really tell because there weren’t years to count, before the Trees were destroyed.

plus a lot of Bilbo’s materials were probably directly from Elrond, whose library dates largely from the Third Age, probably, because he didn’t establish Imladris until after the Last Alliance. and Elrond isn’t the type to intentionally help Bilbo learn the wrong dialect and sound sillier than can be helped, even if everyone was humoring him more than a little.

so Frodo might sound hilariously formal for conversational use (though considering how most Elves use Westron he’s probably safe there) and kind of old-fashioned, but he’s not in any danger of being incomprehensible, because elves live on such a ridiculous timescale.


to over-analyse this awesome and hilarious post even more, legolas’ grandfather was from linguistically stubborn Doriath and their family is actually from a somewhat different, higher-status ethnic background than their subjects.

so depending on how much of a role Thranduil took in his upbringing (and Oropher in his), Legolas may have some weird stilted old-fashioned speaking tics in his Sindarin that reflect a more purely Doriathrin dialect rather than the Doriathrin-influenced Western Sindarin that became the most widely spoken Sindarin long before he was born, or he might have a School Voice from having been taught how to Speak Proper and then lapse into really obscure colloquial Avari dialect when he’s being casual. or both!

considering legolas’ moderately complicated political position, i expect he can code-switch.

…it’s also fairly likely considering the linguistic politics involved that Legolas is reasonably articulate in Sindarin, though with some level of accent, but knows approximately zero Quenya outside of loanwords into Sindarin, and even those he mostly didn’t learn as a kid.

which would be extra hilarious when he and gimli fetch up in Valinor in his little homemade skiff, if the first elves he meets have never been to Middle Earth and they’re just standing there on the beach reduced to miming about what is the short beard person, and who are you, and why.

this is elvish dialects and tolkien, okay. there’s a lot of canon material! he actually initially developed the history of middle-earth specifically to ground the linguistic development of the various Elvish languages!


Legolas: Alas, verily would I have dispatched thine enemy posthaste, but y’all’d’ve pitched a feckin’ fit.

Aragorn: *eyelid twitching*


Frodo: *frantically scribbling* Hang on which language are you even speaking right now

Pippin, confused: Is he not speaking Elvish?

Frodo, sarcastically: I dunno, are you speaking Hobbit?

Boromir, who has been lowkey pissed-off at the Hobbits’ weird dialect this whole time: That’s what it sounds like to me.

Merry, who actually knows some shit about Hobbit background: We are actually speaking multiple variants of the Shire dialect of Westron, you ignorant fuck.

Sam, a mere working-class country boy: Honestly y’all could be talkin Dwarvish half the time for all I know.


#Middle Earth #language #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #my past self has good taste #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what