slatestarscratchpad:

Not seriously. I can’t bring myself to write serious emotional poetry because it always sounds overwrought and pretentious to me; I’m also pretty private about my serious emotions. I do occasionally compose things for fun. Here’s a poem I wrote a long time ago which I don’t think is online anywhere anymore, called “The Battle Of The Nouns And Verbs”:

The Nouns and Verbs go off to war
Nobody knows what they’re fighting for
No one has heard any insult or slight
But they gather their armies and go off to fight

The Nouns stand resplendent upon the field
They have swords, they have spears, they have many a shield
They have grain, they have meat, they have beer beside
They have valor and honor and courage and pride

They have horses and banners and many a lance
But they stand in one place, and they will not advance
They stand as if they have grown roots on the spot
The Marshal cries “March!”, but his armies march not

The Verbs fill with joy at their enemies’ plight
They yell and they jump and they shout and they fight
They pierce and they hack and they mow and they slash
They thrust and they bust and they shatter and smash

But their army, though valiant, is short of provisions
They lack food, they lack water, they lack ammunitions
They faltered and grumbled and groaned and retreated
Distressed, disappointed, disheartened, defeated.

The Nouns and the Verbs both pitch their tents
And they dig up some trenches and take the defence
The war hasn’t stopped, but they both feel afraid
So they summon their allies to come to their aid.

The host of the Adjectives comes from the West
They are brave, they are daring, the greatest and best
Their weapons are shiny and sharp and long
Their horses are fast and their soldiers are strong.

But out of the East, to the beat of a drum
The Adverbs, triumphantly, finally come
They have carefully planned after war was declared
They are really extremely completely prepared.

Boom! Smash! Pow! Smack!
The Interjections launch their attack!
Yikes! Whoa! Alas! Alack!
The Interjections get beaten back!

You and I, hand in hand
Come all the way from Pronoun-Land
The king there wants this war to cease
So he sends us off with his plan for peace.

But the king of the Verbs sees through our lies
Says the Pronouns are merely the Nouns in disguise!
So you and I, hand in hand
Journey back to Pronoun-Land.

A month and a year and a decade go by
And hundreds and thousands and millions die
And the carnage and terror and bloodshed don’t cease
Till there’s just the verb “make” and there’s just the noun “peace”.

The two of them ponder the cruelty of life
And in vain seek a meaning from all of the strife
And at last, come together, and take a deep breath
And they bow,
And shake hands,
And they…
Fight to the death!

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Tags:

#poetry #language #death mention