@ilzolende mentioned that people asked to pet their hair at the Solstice. I said there was a good chance that more people would have asked to touch mine, because of the uniqueness. They said that there was actually a good chance that fewer people would ask because of the cause of the uniqueness.
So, fwiw, I like having my hair touched, once I have warning that it’s about to happen and don’t reflexively duck and block anyone trying to touch me. So, if I meet you irl and you want to touch my hair, go ahead and ask. I won’t call you racist.
…Actually, now that I think about it, there is a reasonable chance I will call you racist for something. It’s a habit from back home. I’m from a majority-black country where no one really takes the idea of racism seriously. As such, jokes about people being racist for innocuous things are the norm.
I have called people racist for saying “all X look the same” when they were talking about oranges or action movies. I have asked “Is it because I’m black?” when people have asked if I’d prefer Coke to Pepsi. The thing is, these were all jokes aimed at other black people, in a mostly-black culture, where no one took the idea of racism seriously. The most common reaction to “Is it because I’m black?” was always “Yes”. The reaction to “all X look the same” comments was “Yes, they do, and black people too”.
I may have to change this habit if I’m going to stay in North America. In my first week here, I called a Canadian racist for saying that all apples look the same. This… Did not go as expected. At all. It ended with us apologising profusely to each other and feeling mutually guilty.
On the bright side, if I can apologise at someone while they’re apologising at me and end up in a spiral of “I’m sorry!” “No, I’m sorry!”, there may yet be hope for me becoming a True Canadian.
So, for future reference: If I actually think you did something that was racist and bad, expect me to say “What you did was harmful because…”. If I say “That was racist”, you may assume with 90% confidence that I’m joking. I just wasn’t raised to take anything that begins with “That’s racist” seriously.
“In my first week here, I called a Canadian racist for saying that all apples look the same. This… Did not go as expected. At all. It ended with us apologising profusely to each other and feeling mutually guilty.” Alison/Canada OTP
Canada<–Alison–>Sunlight love triangle
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