Everyone else was just like: “Oh, fuck: It’s Vader!” and standing around in shock and terror when Vader was revealed. Even Chewie.
Most people, I suspect, would have that reaction.
Meanwhile, Han’s first reaction, instinctively, in less than a second, was to grab a gun and try to flat-out end the guy.
He failed, of course. But God Damn if you can’t appreciate the effort.
Moments I love: Being distracted at just the right moment to miss the loop, so it looks like Vader pulls his gun and he just whips out another one and keeps shooting.
Which is really the only way this could be more Han.
Tags:
#Star Wars #flashing gif #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog
V: Hey Siddy guess what happened with that Luke guy S: I hope you’re contacting me to report he’s been turned, or failing that, taken prisoner, or failing that, killed S: and if you call me Siddy one more time I am officially changing your name to Darth Vaddy on all the official documents V: nah the Luke guy fell down a shaft and my Force senses tell me he’s still alive S: how did you manage to accomplish this particular military outcome using the tens of thousands of troops under your command V: not important V: the important part is S: oh no V: just before he fell down the shaft S: please tell me you didn’t V: I was like “Obi-Wan never told you the truth” S: Vader what is WRONG is with you V: “I am your father!” S: do you HAVE to try to convince every Jedi that you’re their father
#Star Wars #(those of you who read the comments on my previous post will recognise this as the post Tumblr wouldn’t let me read) #(but I read it anyway and it’s great so I’m sharing it with all of you) #fanfic
Okay, as much as I bitch every time I give up one of my overambitious projects halfway through, I think I’m calling it for Kinktober. I’m still gonna try to write all the stories, but maybe the jinx will stop if I’m not aiming for the time limit. :P I’m legitimately a little worried my Gdocs account is gonna get wiped at this rate, or maybe I’ll just take a misaimed shotgun blast. :P
So! I have one story that’s just about done and ready to post, but it needs one more beta. This is the one I think I mentioned in passing when I was ranting about Highlander fic – I got pissed off about how passive Joe/Methos writers always made Joe in bed, just cause he has prosthetic legs, and it so happens that my current fandom also has a character with prosthetic limbs, so I wrote a fluffy little Wes/Hobbie porn in which Hobbie happens to not be wearing his prosthetics and is also very much an active participant. (He was swimming, there was sunscreen, they got distracted. ^_^)
So, uh, if anybody happens to know anybody who might be willing to look at this and tell me if I did anything clueless or offensive? Preferably someone who actually uses prosthetics, but failing that, somebody actually in the mobility-impaired / physically disabled community.
The fic specifics: ~2400 words, M/M, NC-17 fluffy porn. Fandom knowledge not required; “middle-aged retired space marines in love” should hopefully be pretty self-explanatory. ;-) I can’t actually pay, but I can trade a SPAG beta of up to 10k words if you want? (References available on my beta skills.)
Feel free to signal boost.
Reblogging for the daytime crowd. I’d really like to find someone for this.
The best reddit thread I’ve ever seen was when someone asked if the gang from Always Sunny in Philadelphia could kill Darth Maul and almost all of the responses were over 4 paragraphs long
Best quote from that thread: “To give the gang a slight advantage, We’ll assume that Darth Maul has not seen any of the films in the Home Alone franchise.”
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog
–From a Certain Point of View, ”An Incident Report” by Mallory Ortberg
“It must, however, be pointed out that at present the number of planets destroyed solely by the unaided power of the Force is zero.”
MOTTI JUST DRAGGED THE FUCK OUT OF VADER I AM FUCKING LIVING
“I imagine Lord Vader would have had to stand very close to the planet Alderaan indeed today if he wanted to demonstrate how thoroughly his Force-wielding abilities outmatch the Death Star.”
THIS ASSHOLE IS GOING TO DIE, BUT IT WILL BE IN SERVICE OF THE MOST GLORIOUS DRAGGING OF VADER I HAVE EVER SEEN.
“I merely spoke the truth: Lord Vader’s devotion to a nearly extinct faith has not resulted in the recovery of the stolen data tapes, nor has it given him insight into the rebels’ secret base, nor has he ever destroyed a planet.”
“He found my lack of faith disturbing? I have never claimed to be an adherent to his sect. I found his lack of faith in this military installation disturbing.”
MOTTI IS GOING TO FUCKING DIE IN A SPACE DITCH WHERE VADER DUMPS HIS BODY BUT HOLY SHIT HE WENT OUT LIKE A GODDAMNED LEGEND
I’m pretty sure the force *has* destroyed planets.
Yeah, my fiance clarified this morning that the force has been used to destroy multiple planets. However, this occurred several thousand years prior at a lower level of canonicity, so Motti can hardly be blamed for not remembering that.
Tags:
#Star Wars #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog
And okay, my first though was “and the galaxy was saved because even Anakin Skywalker would struggle to keep trusting Palpatine with that music playing in the background”
Anakin think he’s gone COMPLETELY insane (maybe he’s finally been electrocuted too many times and its fried his brain). He doesn’t tell anyone though because he can still fight just fine just… everything is a lot more musical. He doesn’t want to be thought crazy and taken off the front lines.
Once he figures out what the various musical cues mean he actually finds them useful in figuring out how dangerous a situation is. Also battles are so much cooler now and boring landscapes are slightly less boring because at least now they have mood music. Yep, he can live with this.
(Although he is always confused why the ominousness that is The Imperial March starts playing at some of his decisions)
Anakin: I’m so worried about something. I should probably keep my feelings to myself and attempt to solve my problems by working with Palpatine. He seems like he has my best interests at heart.
Music: DUN DUN DUN, DUN DA-DUN, DUN DA-DUN!
Anakin: [pauses] [looks around] Uh…OK. I mean, I’ll…go talk to Obi-Wan?
Music: [hopeful woodwind instruments]
Anakin: …and be open and honest about my life and what is bothering me, and try to work out a non-violent resolution to my problems?
Maybe Obi-Wan hears the music, too, and then the day is saved.
Obi-Wan: [walking away] Welp, guess it’s off to kill Grievous I’m sure Anakin will be fi –
Music: [Duel of the Fates]
Obi-Wan: OMG not this shit again [runs back down the hall towards Anakin]
Anakin: [running back towards Obi-Wan] Obi-Wan I just heard that Ominous Music again and also I secretly married Padme and she’s pregnant and I haven’t slept in 6 days and I keep thinking she’s going to die and I AM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT and if you leave I will 100% end up killing everyone and –
Obi-Wan: – oh my God! OK…it’s OK, I heard my own ominous music a second ago when I was getting ready to leave and so I won’t and we’ll fix th –
Anakin: – I heard mine when I thought about maybe talking to the Chancellor instead of y–
Palpatine: [sidling up behind them smugly] Everything all right, gentlemen?
On a non Star Wars note, there’s a Space Center– basically this Star Trek simulator–near my university, and you do full scale missions in replicated federation ship bridges with uniforms and roles like Captain and first mate and tactical and navigation; it also has really epic background music. And the three rules of the missions are: 1, if you have to die, go out with style (this is in the captain’s manual, too); 2, get into it/ham it up; and 3, the background music doesn’t exist. You can, however, “get a bad feeling.”
So, like, every time the music gets all tense and stuff and you know something is about to go down in the plot of your mission, you get to shout “I have a bad feeling about this, Captain!” And the music legit does act like a guide for what’s happening in the story. One time the music went out and it was so disorienting, and our first mate just turned to the rest of us and screamed “I DON’T KNOW HOW I’M FEELING ANYMORE CAPTAIN!”
Since I’ve decided to make a tiny R2D2 for my robotics class I spent the morning finding .wav files of the different sounds he makes but the original file names I knew would get confusing
so here I am sitting here psychoanalyzing and personifying as many of them as I can because okay yeah he’s beeping and chirping but what was he feeling
much better
You are a delight
what does it say about me that i think i know which beeps you’re talking about in all of these
It means you are learnéd in all the important disciplines.
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #Star Wars #(I am not learned in the important disciplines) #(but this is still funny)
A lot of that would come down to whether force sensitive people were considered a protected class. There’s nothing in the Civil Rights Act that would specifically protect people from discrimination on the basis of force sensitivity (it has certain features of both race and religion, but probably not enough to qualify as either in legal terms), but in a world in which the force was known to be a thing when the act was passed, it might have been. Probably the best argument for them would be the precedent from Carolene Products, which states that the court will apply heightened scrutiny to laws concerning “discrete and insular minorities.” “Insular” here means essentially that there are substantial or insurmountable barriers to changing one’s status on that axis: race is a clear example, religion is a bit more mixed but typically still counts, profession clearly doesn’t qualify. In that respect, force sensitive people clearly do qualify (assuming that it’s genetic or otherwise innate, as in Star Wars).
So, such a law would already be questionable on Fourteenth Amendment grounds. The other major objection I can see is Fourth Amendment search and seizure doctrine. Bugs swarming an individual sounds pretty damn invasive and contrary to “the right of the people to be secure in their persons” in both principle and precedent. I’m not all that up on profiling law, but there are limits on suspicionless searches more generally: it was that, for instance, that wound up dooming the controversial Florida law mandating drug tests for welfare recipients.
To keep a law from being struck down on those grounds, and particularly given the minority interest at stake, the government would need to demonstrate that the law served a compelling state interest, and did so in a manner that restricted rights and liberties as little as possible while still serving that interest. To take the drug test example above: courts have ruled that mandatory suspicionless drug tests are permissible for city bus drivers, because driving a bus while under the influence would create the potential for far greater harm than an addict receiving food stamps. So the first question would be how much danger force-using criminals created. On that count I could see the government having a pretty strong argument: telekinesis, mind control, and the ability to kill a person without detectable weapons all have strong criminal potential, and I could see a crackdown happening if a force user assassinated a major public figure, for instance. It seems like the bug solution would have a hard time with the least restrictive means test, though, given both how invasive it is, and the fact that it identifies force sensitive individuals rather than force users specifically, let alone force users who have recently used the force to commit crimes or have access to powers of particular concern.
In sum, I could see it being used in areas with substantial security (courthouses, military and police offices, etc.), but I don’t think courts would take kindly to it being deployed in most public spaces.
Building from this, there are so many different and weird directions a writer could take this Force-bugs!USA in.
A selection of news ledes:
The FBI violated the Fourth Amendment by planting Force-bee hives near the entrance of a county courthouse in the Bay Area, a federal judge has ruled.
Police officers deployed Force bees after a recent spate of Force choking, arrested residents of swarmed houses, and searched the premises. Despite obtaining a warrant for the search that resulted in the arrest and conviction of choker Anakin Skywalker, Judge Kenobi has thrown out the conviction as a result of an overly-broad search warrant.
Force bees from hives known to belong to out-of-state Drug Enforcement Agency hives were seen by National Lawyers Guild observers during recent protests in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Several alleged Force-sensitives were arrested by police during the protests after bees swarmed the protesters.
YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHICH CELEBRITIES ARE FORCE-SENSITIVE! We went undercover with a swarm of bees to find out.
A honeybee farmer was attacked today in an apparent case of mistaken identity, after Force bees swarmed several houses in northern Maine.
Leading chemical research and development company Nüdrugs is proud to announce Force Off™, a line of Force bee repellants. The product is already in deployment with military and government customers, and is now being release on the open market for family and household use.
The Force Off brand of Force bee repellants contain synthetic pheromones that differ per batch, and appear designed to allow tracking of users, a Cornell research team announced Tuesday.
Tags:
#can’t vouch for the accuracy of the legal stuff but this is entertaining #Star Wars
Brinens and Things 