You Descriptivist fucks make me [sic]
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#language #puns
Today’s aesthetic: appending parenthetical numerals to written quantities in contexts that absolutely don’t demand that degree of formalism.
#especially if they’re informal or slangy quantities#like writing ‘a couple (2)’
its even better if they are vague quantities like several (5) or if they are vague quantities that you would think are a certain number but are wildly different like a few (30)
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#language
I like that English and French have a similar thing going on with the sayings “He isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed” and “Il n’a pas inventé l’eau chaude” (he didn’t invent hot water). In both cases there are many established variants; some are quite normal (not the brightest bulb in the box / “il n’a pas inventé la poudre à canon”, he didn’t invent gunpowder), then you can make it a bit sillier, “he isn’t the crunchiest chip in the bag / quickest bunny in the forest”, “il n’a pas inventé le fil à couper le beurre / la machine à courber les bananes” (he didn’t invent the butter slicer wire / the banana-curving machine), and we also both enjoy making them absurd via crossbreeding (he isn’t the sharpest bunny in the box / il n’a pas inventé le fil à couper l’eau chaude – he didn’t invent the hot water slicer wire) and so on and so forth
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#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #language
And because they were omniscient and so tight-knit, they could be very adolescent and pretentious in the way they flaunted their superiority. It wouldn’t be unusual for a God to use Ningdu Chinese, Etruscan, Ket (a moribund language spoken by just five hundred people in central Siberia), Mexican Mafia prison code, Klingon, dolphin echolocation clicks, ant pheromones, and honeybee dance steps – all in one sentence. It’s the kind of thing where you’d be like, was that really necessary?
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#language #out of context quotes
being adjacent to cancel-heavy (or at least, cancel-anxious) groups for a few years has unfortunately infected me with an ability to write shitty thinkpiece theses, the two today so far have been “male/female designations of cables are transphobic” and “my sharona is pedophilic”
I had the same thought re: cables some years ago but without the assumption that transphobia is bad or that people shouldn’t resist trans activists who try to make them stop referring to cables that way.
In the same vein of thought where wanting to know a stranger’s assigned gender at birth as soon as you meet them is equivalent to wanting to know what’s in their underwear or their private medical history, maybe there’s a hot take to be had that we should call them “penis” and “vagina” cables, which takes no longer to say, and is what we actually mean when we say “male/female” cables.
That would work, except no way in hell am I going to ask “Hey, anyone got any usb-vagina-wall-outlet-penis or micro-usb-penis-wall-outlet-penis cords?” in the office slack
I wouldn’t say that in the office, but on the other hand my girlfriend will absolutely live to regret your post
Huh. @tototavros, you *would* be willing to call them “male” and “female” in the office slack? I wouldn’t be comfortable with that myself: to me “male” and “female” feels like the barest fig leaf over the obvious genitalia references, still very crude overall.
(And indeed, “WTF, why are you referring to them so crudely” was my very first thought the first time I heard someone refer to them that way in my mid to late teens. I was boggled that she was not calling them “prongs” and “outlets” (sometimes “plugs” and “sockets”, though “plug” can be ambiguous as it is also an umbrella term) as I considered to be the norm, and even more boggled when I worked out that *most* subcultures in my meta-cultural neighbourhood consider comparing plugs to genitals to be the *standard* way of referring to them.)
I mean I call them male / female in the professional context, because those are the typical terms and I’m absolutely not tromping all the back to whatever closet the bits came out of because somebody failed to understand my nonstandard terminology.
and for all its crudeness, I’ve never dealt with anyone who misunderstood the analogy!
(see also)
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#conversational aglets #language #our roads may be golden or broken or lost #gender #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #discourse cw? #nsfw text
Went to the kitchen for breakfast, and instead of making breakfast stared into space rapturously for several minutes mulling over the palindrome “A man, a plan, a canal, Panama”, running my mind over its characters like the beads on a rosary.
slatestarscratchpad replied to your post:
A man, a plan, a canoe, pasta, heros, rajahs, a coloratura, maps, snipe, percale, macaroni, a gag, a banana bag, a tan, a tag, a banana bag again (or a camel), a crepe, pins, Spam, a rut, a Rolo, cash, a jar, sore hats, a peon, a canal – PanamaAh, so this is the qualia of having someone try to hack my utility function!
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#oh my god #language #art #palindromes #(I’ve checked the medium one for palindromity but not the long one)