headcanons

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

neornithes:

also can we take a moment to think of solok, baby vulcan cadet at Starfleet Academy, who tried to study illogical human bonding rituals and somehow got into a twenty-year academically documented feud with sisko? he was probably doing an assignment for his vulcan professor of xenocultural studies. “go and study human bonding rituals”, they told him. “you will be spending a great deal of time with humans, it is necessary to understand the illogical ways in which they function”. that’s logical, cadet solok thinks. i will go to the human establishment called “bar” and attempt to study human bonding rituals.

the next day he hands in his assignment: “human cadets became hostile when told the goal of our study. they had imbibed large quantities of poisonous psychoactive liquids and had poor coordination and diction. cadet sisko challenged me to a wrestling match. when it was pointed out that i had no cause to fight him, and am physiologically superior to humans, he responded ‘suck it’. request for clarification was met with obscenity. in the interest of cultural understanding, i agreed to fight him, and defeated him fairly. when it was pointed out to him that i had foreseen this result, he responded with uncorroborated insults to my parental units. i believe this was a human bonding ritual. it is possible we are now bonded; further studies to follow.”

solok has been studying sisko for twenty years, he’s written a dozen papers. he probably got a grant from the vulcan science academy to show up at DS9 and piss sisko off as much as possible and document the results. his work is probably mandatory reading for first-year vulcans at starfleet academy. “The Effect of Chemical Intoxicants on Human Hostility: When Avoiding A Bar Fight Becomes Impossible” is the most-accessed study in vulcan psychological literature. “human refused to stop trying to fight me” is a recognized mitigating circumstance in disciplinary hearings for vulcan cadets. solok is considered a xenocultural pioneer. he hopes one day sisko will punch him in the face; what a fascinating data point that would make. 

Tags:

#I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #Star Trek #DS9 #headcanons #violence cw

missroxyspamcake asked: Glumshoe, I’ve had an idea about Brad Wayne for while now, and that is that he is unlikely to suspect the Bat Fam of being superheroes. But he’s probably more likely to suspect that ALFRED is up to something, if only that Alfred is lazier than he looks (he often suddenly disappears when Bruce does, probably for a smoke break, Brad tells himself). The others are used to having a butler around by now, and Alfred is very careful of course. 1/2

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

{{previous post in sequence}}

nentuaby:

glumshoe:

2/2 But Brad probably asks a lot of questions initially to try to get to know Alfred, like: “How do you stay in shape? You’re pretty spry for an old dude.” Let’s assume Alfred is ex military in this version, so that’s his explanation, and Brad accepts it. Until Brad sees a misplaced batarang or tool from a fight he completely missed, and all the pieces fall into place. He can’t stay quiet. “Guys, don’t freak out, but… I think Alfred might be Batman.” Bruce nearly chokes on his coffee.

Oh I LOVE the idea that Brad is suspicious of Alfred.

Concept: one of the inspirations for Batman is Mary Roberts Rinehart’s 1920 play The Bat. It features a masked bat-themed criminal. Her work has remained popular in Gotham because it fits the noir aesthetic. Her novel The Door is also the origin of the “the butler did it” trope. 

Maybe Brad has never met an actual honest-to-god butler before and his only exposure to them has been through pop culture, so he just kind of assumes Alfred is quietly scheming and hiding a dark secret.

That’s way smarter than my Brad & Alfred headcanon:

Alfred calls Brad ‘Master Bradley’. Brad keeps trying to get him to stop, as much because he’s literally got “Brad” on his birth certificate as because of discomfort with the form of address; but Alfred cannot bring himself to address a living human being as Brad.

Tags:

#Batman #fanfic #headcanons #embarrassment squick? #oh look an update

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

thatgirlonstage:

frederichthedragon:

bloodyhellharry:

accio-shitpost:

it must be really weird for anyone who was taught by dumbledore and mcgonagall and the rest to become teachers and have to, like, treat them as colleagues

like, snape and lupin have one (1) thing in common and it’s a pathological inability to call dumbledore by his first name

Correct me if i’m wrong, but wasn’t McGonagall more or less in the same year as Tom Riddle?

Does that mean that Dumbledore was also her teacher?

Minerva McGonagall has called him Albus since she was eleven because she is a queen who bows to no one

The image of an 11yo Minerva McGonagall looking her new professor dead in the eye and saying “Will there be homework tonight, Albus?” is too powerful for words

Tags:

#Harry Potter #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #headcanons

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

goddamnshinyrock:

Aziraphale can manifest a halo, which he mostly uses as a reading light

 

demonic-mnemonic:

He would

 

all-the-usernames-are-gone:

The halo isn’t really a ring halo either, just like Crowley doesn’t have horns. Instead, his entire head lights up like a glowstick.

Either that or no matter what angle you look at it it’s always behind his head like this:

191539c6942fd1740fb1431aab17cc2ff0f18681

Like Mickey Mouse’s ears.

 

echoing-artemis:

I blew the dust off my tumblr and dug out this post (which I originally saw on Instagram) just so I could say thank you for inspiring this ridiculousness.

Crowley likes to sleep, Aziraphale likes to read. A bed is comfy for both of these things, so sharing works. Usually.

After all, Aziraphale was just enough of a bastard to be worth liking. <3

229fa327fa8024e6df93b3b6e3c9f38cef6c7c27
87aa256e0fbafa38a9bda9e9d84c4419eadbea29
2a41ebf127027e34d6a82453ef73dc2241bfa52d
560109cc21edddb39bbe5d7262edb3d4b67d8ab3
3be53fa77931529ca619e3c769d968a87ae77d3b
f663f4001aa44a95ec0b467d698460b9e2c87639
7ea53cc93207d9b6a681bf5d88d37c46b27679e0

because honestly you guys were exactly right

(more nonsense over at Ineffable Wives on Insta)

 

goddamnshinyrock:

holy shit this is the best possible addition to my post, this cosplay is amazing

Tags:

#cosplay #Good Omens #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #headcanons #fanfic

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

princesszeldaz:

who’s the klutzy Hyrule ditz dropping all their rupees in grass????

 

criticalbread:

a few years ago when I was really REALLY in to Twilight Princess and none of the newer ones had come out yet, and I had planned to write some Very Intense Fanfiction, I decided that I would make it a worldbuilding thing. Like, a cultural phenomenon in Hyrule where people go out of their way to hide rupees all over the place– along roadways and streams, in grass, under rocks, in old pots no one has used in years, or in old shoes, under fallen logs, under big honking rocks that no one has any reason to move. Originally, it was meant to be a sign of goodwill to travelers and those down on their luck, of community generosity and goodwill. Anyone can go out, comb a bit, and scrounge up enough for a meal. Or kids can run around having fun playing their seeking games and find enough for a sling shot, or a sweet. Parents teach their kids not to take more than they really need, to put some back, to keep the chain going. They make a game of it. Who can find the best hiding place? Who can climb to the highest branch, or swim to the bottom of the pond. 

They tend to end up heavily clustered in the grass and under rocks along the main roads and paths. People leave out their old, well loved pots and butter churns and tipped over tubs, collect pretty rocks and bits of crystal, grow their herbs and bushes just a bit that wild out front– all to make an attractive place to maybe tuck a green or a red under. For some it’s a point of pride; for all, it tells you a bit about the person who lives there. It’s even practical, when you think of it! We all sometimes end up a little short, but there’s always some from the community to find, or something to tuck for yourself int he future when you realize you’re a bit skint. And when you’ve got a bit extra, well, it’s just NORMAL to go and find a little place to tuck it away and imagine who might find it. Maybe soon. Maybe in a few weeks or months. Maybe years, or decades. Don’t we all get a little big of excitement from the thought?

Communities don’t have really deep poverty that you can’t climb out of, not in Hyrule. There’s no embarrassment to have to pop out and look around a bit to afford a bit of milk or if you’ve forgot your wallet. If someone’s a bit too old or can’t see too well, there’s no shame in hinting, “Under the flower pot, grandma,” or, “Tomla, run out and fetch Mr. Tinkins a few rupees, there’s a love, always good at finding the odd ones out, that girl.” 

Sometimes you find shiny rupees that weren’t hidden too well (maybe by that ferociously sweet village kid who keeps hiding them as quick as he’s finding them, bless him, just not very well). Maybe they hadn’t been there long. The contrast is huge when you find dusty, dirt-encrusted things that you think must be at least a few decades old. And then, sometimes you go digging back, adventuring down into the deep places and the old places where no one has traveled in centuries and you turn over a pot or open a little chest no bigger than a bottle and feel a little shiver to think of how long ago someone put this here. A little thankfulness to an ancestor, a little appreciation, a little shock because a silver rupee? Really??! How rich had they been, how powerful the empire, now all in ruins…

Sometimes in his travels, Link comes upon an old, dusty rupee tucked under an ancient discarded shield or a particularly handsome but impossible to move boulder that only a little magic or magical strength can budge. He grabs up the rupee under and feels a little shiver of familiarity… :)

 

shiisiln:

@kintatsujo

 

kintatsujo:

This is utterly beautiful

 

itsbenedict:

I mean, this is charming, but the downside of this tradition is that occasionally you get some madman running through town, screaming and spinning wildly around in circles with a fucking SWORD, obliterating everything in sight in an uncontrollable frenzy of pure greed.

 

humanfist:

To be fair that madman is typically in the process of saving the kingdom.

Tags:

#headcanons #Legend of Zelda #interesting

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

tumblr_o1md21k1zp1u0er4oo1_400

azumariko:

he was on TATOOINE you fucking loser

 

thebaconsandwichofregret:

Obi-Wan can find an invisible planet hidden by a devious Sith Lord, Anakin can’t find his ex-best friend on his own home planet while the guy is still using his own damn name.

I know we give Obi-wan a lot of shit for leaving Luke with his real surname but Anakin really is that stupid

 

notanotherreyloblog:

the perfect hiding place: the sandiest fucking planet that anakin would never set foot on again

 

soloontherocks:

I’d like to remind everyone again that it’s literally canon that Vader can’t step foot on Tatooine because the desert gets into his creaky old man robot joints and makes his suit break down

aka the sand is coarse, rough, irritating, and gets everywhere

 

ghostymcspooky:

i  d o n t  l i k e  s a n d

 

roachpatrol:

okay but what if everyone was like ‘vader, kenobi’s on tattooine. he’s obviously on tattooine. he’s been there for years. he’s just right fucking there, we all know it.’ and vader is just desperately shaking down jedi like they’re magic eight-balls and he wants a better fortune. like ‘no i don’t like that try again’. 

kenobi’s just sitting there in his pile of sand like a smug fucking bastard. he doesn’t need to hide jack shit. he went to the tattooine board of tourism and got them to print up flyers that say ‘COME TO TATTOOINE, WE HAVE SAND’ and luke is probably going to be safe until his midlife fucking crisis at this rate.

palpatine finds vader aimlessly checking behind pieces of furniture in some shitty space motel on kamino

‘he’s on tattooine,’ palpatine says. 

‘nuh uh,’ vader says, and peers under a couch.

 

thesouthernjedi:

peers under a couch

 

cupcakeshakesnake:

This is the best Star Wars post I have read in a while.

Tags:

#Star Wars #headcanons #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #my past self has good taste #torture mention

allamaraine asked: Kira + art

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

{{previous post in sequence}}

little-brisk:

brin-bellway:

little-brisk:

The first two things that come to mind:

  • a flock of flightless birds
  • once i wrote a story in which kira shoots a fresco

So we are more or less doomed, here. I haven’t thought about this much before, but here are my impressions at a first attempt.

Art for Kira is, first, about ruin. About damage, and loss. That is what violent occupations do to art. This is her first concept of art: stolen paintings and sculptures, damaged buildings, a campaign of disinformation about Bajoran achievements in the arts.

Then art must be, later, about recovery, about salvage. What can be restored, recovered, unburied.

Kira doesn’t have much in the way of an aesthetic sensibility, or at least that’s what she would claim. She forms strong attachments to art objects, and articulating why, or what it is about the object’s aesthetic features that draws her to it, is less interesting to her than the fact of the object and the fact of her attachment.

Perhaps she begins with a disdain for ‘pure decoration,’ prizing only art that has a use: prayer mandalas, for example. But perhaps with time she starts to see that the useful/decorative binary doesn’t hold up. What if something is useful because of the feeling it provokes? What if, like her prayer mandala, a useful object is also decorative? These simple questions occur to her relatively late in life, and the result is that she develops a reverence for the very fact of objects that provoke them.

She will never be a collector, but she will learn that to stand before a beautiful thing in contemplation of it is a worthwhile act – and it is an act that demands that the work of art be referred to itself, and not to any gesture of possession or mastery. She will for this reason prefer museums to private possessions, and temples to museums.

That act of contemplation is itself an act of recovery, of restoration and unburial. And for this reason, she will work hard to see that Bajor’s art finds public homes, that art objects are returned to the places that first housed them, and that any space – a temple, a museum, a library archive – devoted to art objects will be freely accessible to anyone, so that those recuperative acts of contemplation belong to anyone, to everyone.

This is a good post, I like this post, the fic you actually linked is new to me and looks interesting, but I would also like to know what fic you intended to link. It doesn’t look to be this one, what with the “Oparu” in the author’s-name section.

Damn! Thanks for pointing that out, Brin. This is the story I meant.

Athough obviously you should all also read Opal’s TNG/VOY mirrorverse story, ’Shards and Fairytales,’ which was in my copypaste because I was reccing it to someone!

Tags:

#(January 2014) #I forgot to tag my response with ”reply via reblog” #so I didn’t catch this when looking through that tag for threads to aglet #but I’m formatting this post on my WordPress mirror right now and realised what was missing #conversational aglets #Star Trek #DS9 #recs

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

quasi-normalcy:

What if Scotty is not actually Scottish, though? 

Like, what if his name just happens to be Montgomery Scott, so all of his friends started calling him “Scotty,” and then every time he was introduced to a new person, they would be like “Oh, are you Scottish? My uncle was Scottish!”

And finally, he just gets sick of explaining the situation, so he starts replying with “aye, laddie!” But then it turns out that the person he said that to was Captain Kirk, and he doesn’t want to admit that he lied to his new commanding officer, so he has to keep speaking in a ridiculously over-the-top brogue and commenting constantly on how much he loves drinking Scotch, and by the time that he realises that Kirk would have found humour in the situation, he’s in too deep and can’t stop pretending, and it gradually just becomes his normal speech pattern.

Then, years later, the Enterprise is being inspected by a Starfleet engineer who’s actually Scottish, and Scotty takes him on a walking tour of his warp engines and is all like “Auch! Here be me wee bairns!” and the other engineer is just like “what the fuck is wrong with you?”

I take the fact that James Doohan is Canadian as evidence of this theory.

 

quasi-normalcy:

Scotty hacking into his Starfleet personnel file to alter his place of birth.

Scotty soundproofing his quarters on the Enterprise so that no one can hear him teach himself to play the bagpipes from instructional videos.

Scotty making a great show of taking a shuttle down to Aberdeen to “visit his family” every time the Enterprise is in Earth orbit and then, once on the ground, discreetly site-to-site transporting himself to Vancouver or whatever.

None of these things are out of character or beyond his technical ability.

 

beka-tiddalik:

Yeah, but also in character: Jim Kirk has known since Day 1 that Scotty is not, in fact, Scottish, but is just sitting there waiting to see how far Scotty is willing to go to keep the story going. It started out as an “enough rope” situation but now it’s one of Jim’s greatest ongoing sources of entertainment and he wouldn’t admit at gunpoint that he knows. 

 

wordsandshadows:

Honestly, Kirk would actively claim to have met Scotty’s Extremely Scottish Family/visited them in Aberdeen just to keep it going.

 

my-insanity-is-an-artform:

Frankly, as someone who’s paternal side is all Scottish, I simply can’t see any Scottish person not seeing this situation and running with it.

Next thing Scotty knows, half of Scottish Starfleet is claiming to be his brother’s sister-in-law’s half cousin twice removed and the Loch Ness Monster has been painted on the door to his quarters.

Kirk is busy dying of laughter.

Tags:

#Star Trek #TOS #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #embarrassment squick? #headcanons #may or may not have reblogged this before #(but the thread was shorter last time I saw it)

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

lullabyknell:

lullabyknell:

People keep leaving “Isn’t Bill’s first name Bilius?” comments on one of my HP posts and the answer is no. I checked before I posted. Bill Weasley’s first name is actually William. 

“Do you, William Arthur, take Fleur Isabelle….?” 

– Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Chapter 8. The Wedding

People are getting the name Bilius from a Weasley uncle, the one who saw a Grim and died twenty-four hours later. Ron’s middle name is also Bilius. Ron presumably was named for this uncle. 

“Talking about Muriel?” inquired George, re-emerging from the marquee with Fred. “Yeah, she’s just told me my ears are lopsided. Old bat. I wish old Uncle Bilius was still with us, though; he was a right laugh at weddings.” 

– Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Chapter 8. The Wedding

It’s kind of funny to imagine, though, that Bill could have grown up thinking that his name was Bilius. Kids often don’t know the “correct” names for things because the adults in their life refer to these things incorrectly as an in-joke or by nicknames. If everyone called him Bill and Bill grew up knowing his Uncle Bilius, then he could have very plausibly been under the impression for many years that his name was also Bilius. 

Until, of course, September of 1982 rolls around. 

Professor Minerva McGonagall opens a scroll and begins reading off the names of the first-years who are to be Sorted. She gets to the very last name on the list (entirely possible with a W name) and calls out: “WEASLEY, WILLIAM!” 

11-year-old “Bill” Weasley, who has just this second found out that his first name is actually William: “…Who?!” 

You can probably bet that Bill’s siblings sometimes called him Bilius as a joke too. Like, “BILIUS ARTHUR WEASLEY, HOW DARE YOU!” 

Bill, unperturbed: “Yes, how dare I, Bilius Weasley, do this.” 

Or maybe: 

Charlie, speaking for all the Weasley siblings at the wedding: “YOUR NAME IS WILLIAM? SINCE WHEN???” 

Bill: “Since always, apparently.” 

Molly & Arthur: “What did you think his name was?” 

Charlie: “I THOUGHT IT WAS BILIUS. LIKE UNCLE BILIUS.” 

Arthur: “…No.” 

Molly: “Why would you think that?” 

Charlie: “WE’VE ONLY EVER CALLED HIM BILL?!?” 

Charlie: “OH SHIT, WHAT’S MY NAME? DO I HAVE A SECRET NAME TOO?!” 

Molly: “…You don’t… you don’t have secret names.” 

Ron: “I want a better secret name than Ronald.” 

Fred: “DIBS ON MANFREDO.” 

Ginny: “I will now only answer to Ginwumpkinwinsalot.” 

Tags:

#Harry Potter #fanfic #headcanons #embarrassment squick #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #names