What do you *use* a 5-hour laptop battery for, anyway? I mean, more battery life is always better all else equal, but when I need to computer for significant lengths of time off-grid that is what smartphones are for.
Computers are just better than phones for every single task. [1] Sure, you use phones for off-grid time now, but that’s just because your computer doesn’t last long enough for that. I have a MacBook Air with 13 hours of battery life and it’s nice being able to use it all.
It’s also nice when I’m at home, being able to use it in the kitchen, on the sofa, etc. I move around a lot and it’s nice not having to also lug around the charger and plug it in everywhere.
If I wanted to leave a computer plugged in all the time, I’d be using a desktop, not a laptop.
[1] With some exceptions: Phones are really only good for very specific things like “taking photos”, “using mobile apps of companies too lazy to provide a desktop/web version” (I’m calling you out, Google Assistant and Pleco).
I do agree that laptops are better than phones whenever possible, which means the entire point of smartphones is for the times that it’s *not* possible. Why are smartphones so ubiquitous, then? Why do high-end phones even exist at all, if that kind of money can get you a laptop with double-digit-hour battery life?
(I mean, there’s something to be said for the smaller size. But laptops can be made pretty small too if you need them to be, and as I understand it most people haven’t already stuffed their bag with as much gear as possible [link] and would have space for a small laptop.)
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I use a laptop rather than a desktop for two reasons:
1. I can use a couch rather than needing, like, a dedicated desk and shit.
2. I can take it to hotel rooms. (This was more important when we were richer and spending a week or two a year in hotel rooms, but there’s still reason 1 to think of.)
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I use my laptop battery under the following conditions:
1. When the living room is too noisy and I need to temporarily move to another room. (Even then, I can just bring the power cord with me and plug it in there, and I do if I expect to be there for more than an hour and a half or so.)
2. Power outages. The *only* time that I wish my laptop battery life was longer, since it *is* annoying having to rely on a smartphone in my own goddamn house.
Tags:
#Brin owns *two* 2010’s computers now #101 Uses for Infrastructureless Computers #adventures in human capitalism #discourse cw? #reply via reblog
Laptop is in the shop almost certainly overnight at least. I can’t find the power cable for my old 2010 one. I probably can’t set up my Raspberry Pi, I know I don’t have the right adapter for it because I broke it. I might be able to use someone’s old AlphaSmart?
Laptop still in shop. I should get info tomorrow at least, emails say I’ll be called after 48 hours. I forgot to ask about the AlphaSmart.
Honestly I think the amount of stuff I’ve done and the fact that I have had chunks of happiness over the past several days and not injured myself at all is really suggestive of a lot of mental health improvement. Maybe it’s experiences, maybe it’s having more produce and sardines, but something’s working.
Update: Apple called this morning to say that I have a hard drive problem (that affects booting from USBs and persists when the drive is wiped, yet doesn’t present any issues when copying files off the drive? seems unlikely) or a motherboard problem. Apple wanted to charge $475 to fix it, which I declined.
I was able to install Xubuntu on it from USB, and it is “working”, in that it still can’t talk to the battery at all and that it seems to freeze sometimes. I’ll probably try to transfer files later today. I am still overall dissatisfied with this state of affairs, though.
I am happy that I have a computer right now, but this does create a bit of a dilemma. I’m not sure I can justify replacing this computer just because I want to play some video games without Linux support and be able to see how charged my battery is. I guess this might get worse in the future, which might also justify replacing it. I sure don’t know how to replace a motherboard myself, and it sounds like a huge pain.
It gets completely nonresponsive and requires a forced shutdown sometimes more than once daily
Still doesn’t show the battery level (acpi won’t work)
Sleep/wake issues, does not travel well (overheats in bag)
Cannot shut down properly
I also still haven’t put my files on this thing. “Mount a 200GB disk image, on an HFS-formatted drive, of an Ext4 partition with logical volume management, and then figure out how to decrypt an encrypted user folder, with the password but without being able to log into it” is something which sounds like it should be technically feasible but also kind of sounds like a nightmare, and I have a feeling that my current computer setup is really not my long-term setup. I can get files from SpiderOak but that will take a while and they won’t be as recent.
What’s going on with the disk image was that booting up my computer in Target Disk Mode and getting the data off of it, using a connected Mac, was such that I couldn’t mount or even really properly interpret a partition with logical volume management, so I just frickin’ copied the whole thing. Yadda yadda I should make more frequent cloud backups or actually figure out how to do regular nice usable backups to a drive or both. At least I have the files. Probably.
I will apparently have some support in repairing or replacing this machine, which biases me towards doing so. Also, I’ll want to use it for taking lecture notes and other time-sensitive outside-the-home uses, so freezing and being a pain to store while asleep are problematic. If I repair it, I’m pretty sure it needs a logic board replacement which I would really rather not do myself. (I don’t have the right screwdrivers, a good workspace, etc.) If I replace it, I should probably replace it with a Windows machine, because the only times I’ve used OSX recently have been gaming and taking the easy route in dealing with printers/scanners.
I don’t know much about shopping for non-Macs or using whatever the latest version of Windows is. Every time I interact with recent proprietary operating systems I do get the vague feeling that they are tending in a direction my computer is not, such that my experience with Windows XP and 2016-and-previous versions of OSX won’t necessarily generalize.
If anyone has advice on any of the above, let me know.
For replacement laptops, eBay is great, especially for people located in the United States. The laptop I am typing this on, which I recently bought from one of the refurbished-laptop stores that sell through eBay, was USD$300 *after* international shipping and import taxes. For an American, it would have been around USD$250.
My usual strategy for laptop buying is “get the best PC USD$300 can buy”. I generally find laptops at that price point strike a good balance between “cheap” and “will keep pace with my needs for the approximately three years it takes for a used laptop to die of old age anyway” ; if you need more from a laptop than I do, you may need a higher budget.
You might not need me to tell you this, but make sure you know what kind of specs you need in a computer (RAM quantity, storage space, number of CPUs, dedicated vs basic graphics, etc), and add a little to leave room to grow. When searching, keep an eye out for laptops that have been discounted because they have problems in areas you don’t care about or are willing to live with: my previous laptop was unusually cheap because it was incapable of standby and took several minutes to come out of hibernation, which was pretty easy to adapt to for someone with my usage pattern.
Since I only just got a Windows 10 machine yesterday, I can’t say much about it. I *can* say that I’m pretty much just keeping that partition around for gaming, and intend to continue using Ubuntu for my primary OS.
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Rather than a dedicated backup drive, I just keep a full copy of my files on my smartphone [link], where they are readily accessible and can in fact–in most cases–be accessed directly from the drive itself. I gather that a lot of people have too much data to pull that method off easily, but even if you can’t do it *yet*, maybe keep it in mind for if/when the progression of smartphones’ increasing storage space catches up to your needs.
Yah. Used laptops are a lot cheaper than new laptops for entry-level performance.
The one huge downside is battery life. Batteries have improved quite a bit recently, and there are a lot more low-power CPUs on the market. So, even the low-end Chromebooks and such can trounce any used laptop in terms of battery life.
Yeah my $150 2015 chromebook, after 4 years of fairly regular use, only gets 5ish hours of battery life, down from almost 10, so if battery life is of interest you can get pretty good. On the other hand, it is not a powerful machine. This is mostly okay for my personal laptop.
[my tags on my previous reblog, for context:
#(since I’ve pretty much only ever had used laptops I’m whatever-the-opposite-of-spoiled-is on battery life) #(1.5 – 2 hours is simply how long a laptop battery lasts and so I don’t find it a cause for concern)]
holy shit
(ftr, I tested this laptop’s battery shortly after receiving it, got a result of 2 hours, and was pleased to have a battery life near the high end of normal)
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What do you *use* a 5-hour laptop battery for, anyway? I mean, more battery life is always better all else equal, but when I need to computer for significant lengths of time off-grid that is what smartphones are for.
(Admittedly, my smartphone’s battery also sucks, at least by smartphone standards–sometimes it dies because I didn’t check it for 4 days and it only has a 3-day standby time, and that’s in airplane mode–but it’s much easier and cheaper to get a backup power pack for a phone than a laptop.)
(yes I *did* end up getting that solar-powered phone charger I wanted [link], and so far it’s been working pretty well)
Tags:
#101 Uses for Infrastructureless Computers #reply via reblog #Brin owns *two* 2010’s computers now
its interesting sci-fi. i read it/am reading it today!
anyway, the reason im making this post is that the story made me realize i basically have the supposedly fictional condition that the story describes as “calliagnosia”? i think!
i mean, im not face-blind, but ive always known i had some perceptual oddities when it came to faces. the story seems to say that a normal person automatically has some kind of emotional or visceral response to seeing a really “beautiful” (or really “ugly”) face, and also that it is easy for a normal person to tell right away if another person is beautiful or ugly, without having to think about it.
i dont have that, though! i asked @pipistrellusif it knew what that meant, to respond to human faces that way, if that was, like, a Thing.
it didnt know, and then we commiserated over the shared experience of, like, trying to join in other peoples talk about cute boy band members or cute actresses or w/e, but not really being able to tell which ones were supposed to becute
pip kind of associated it with asexuality, which makes sense, but im not asexual– i can definitely be physically attracted to people– and i still have this issue
and, yk, i can think someone is interesting or appealing to look at, for sure, but it doesnt really seem to map on to whether they’re…?? like, sometimes people call other people “striking” and i get that! i TOTALLY understand “striking”! when someone is unusual-looking, with a lot of character and presence and visual interest to them. and sometimes im really attracted to that unusualness, that interestingness, right away. but like… “interestingness” for me, when its really attractive, is as likely to involve highly visible scars or crooked teeth as it is to involve big eyes or long, shiny hair or something. and the attraction still isnt really like a “turn on” thing or even a pleasure thing, not initially and not just based on appearance. its more a fascination, like how i feel when i see a really weird-looking, cool giant bug and immediately wanna pick it up or draw it or something. plus, while im not really face-blind, i do have a lot of trouble telling people with similar features apart unless i know them pretty well. (if anything, i think this pulls me awayfrom very conventionally attractive types a little bit, bc they can end up looking super indistinct/bland to me. sometimes i have trouble following the plots of movies if the actors look too similar in that way. its like im watching several copies of the man in the tan jacket– “well– he definitely had hair! and facial features!”)
anyway, i always figured most people look interesting and distinctive somehow when you look at them long enough, so i never really questioned those “everyone is beautiful in their own way!” and “if you have a really great personality, it will eventually shine through your physical appearance and you will look wonderful!” cliches. sure, i thought they were cheesy, and ineffective in actually changing social values/standards of beauty at all, and maybe a little misguided in the sense of why are we so focused on physical “good looks” over other stuff anyway. but i never felt like they were fundamentally untrue? i suppose a lot of people do though ( “well some people just ARE beautiful or ugly!”)
i remember telling someone about one of my many intense teenage crushes once, and i remember she said, after a really long, awkward pause, “well…im glad someone is really into [person]. im glad someone thinks [person] is cute. thats sweet.”
Ooh I definitely have an instinctive reaction of, like, “pretty face!” and “ugly face!”
It seems pretty uncorrelated to conventional attractiveness though? Like on one hand I go “pretty!” at girls with big breasts and lots of makeup and stuff, but on the other hand I also go “pretty!” at people with really kinky hair, or pudgy bellies, or big noses.
Also one of the biggest things for me seems to be, like, affect? Like there are people who are meh until you see them move or talk or, especially, smile, and then suddenly they are THE PRETTIEST and you want to stare at them ALL THE TIME.
And I *can* be sexually attracted to people who don’t make me go “pretty!” at first; like, I’ve definitely dated people where I can tell that they don’t have any of the traits that make me go “pretty!”, but also I am full of The Feels, and so they are SUPER PRETTY to me anyway.
Liking What You See is also interesting from a youth-rights standpoint (and other standpoints I have), and it might be nice to discuss it that way sometime. In a post that started out being on that subject. I’ll write one later, perhaps, unless someone else writes one first.
I’ve been considering the term “grey-aesthetic” regarding my relationship with beauty, and this seems to support that. Like, I can tell when someone (or something, I don’t feel like it’s different with faces vs objects) is pretty, and all else equal I’ll pick a pretty object over an ugly one, but it doesn’t feel…I usually don’t feel a pull towards pretty things, a desire to stare at it longer than I would stare at an aesthetically-neutral thing, a reward of pretty things doesn’t motivate me. I say I usually don’t feel a pull because every so often I do, every once in a while I’ll see a particular pretty thing that I feel an urge to stare at, and to possess if applicable. It’s always fleeting, though: before long (hours, maybe a day or two tops), it fades, and I’m back to “okay, so it’s pretty, so what?”.
(Actually, now that I think about it, sometimes it’s longer than a couple days with people; once it was a couple months, but that was someone I didn’t see very much. Perhaps the difference isn’t people vs objects, but rather level of access: a certain (fairly small) amount of time spent looking at the thing, however long it takes to get that much time in.)
(Also, on an unrelated note, this is the third Ted Chiang story I’ve been linked to (the others were “Hell Is the Absence of God” (broken link) and “Seventy-Two Letters”), and I liked all of them. Perhaps I should seek out more of Chiang’s work.)
*growls* I wrote a long thinky reblog about this and didn’t think to screenshot it, and tumblr mobile ate it… :P
(short version: I kinda remember having something like this as a teen but I’m not too sure I wasn’t just hella gay. Also long complicated questioning of possibly constructed sexuality with weird ties to childhood abuse factors.)
I was going to say “you really need an automatic text-backup add-on”, but then I looked and apparently add-ons have to be specifically made for mobile browsers, and a lot of the PC add-ons don’t have a mobile port. I couldn’t find any relevant add-ons on Android Firefox, so whatever you’re using might not have one either.
(Are you sure it’s not, like, hiding in your drafts folder or something?)
I use a text-backup addon for my laptop browsers, but yeah, I suspect finding a reliable one for iPhone (that works in the Tumblr app) is gonna be a long hunt. Haven’t been arsed to start that one yet. :P
Tags:
#(October 2015) #(AFAIK there is still no good way to do this on iOS) #conversational aglets #Brin owns *two* 2010’s computers now #long post
Like all headlines ending in question marks, the answer is no.
*head desk* *head desk* *head desk*
But wait: There’s more!
I forgot my thrice-damned chargers. Both phone and laptop. If I can’t borrow one tomorrow, I’ll be offline until Friday evening.
*head desk* *head desk* *head desk*
*wordless sympathetic noises*
I’ve been compiling a pre-made general-purpose packing list on my laptop, listing things I’d want to pack for any trip. (I may add sub-sections for different types/seasons of trip, haven’t decided yet.) Maybe you could do something similar to prepare for next time.
(I also keep my phone charger in the same pouch where I keep my phone, thus ensuring it is very difficult to bring my phone and not bring my charger, but that advice might be harder to generalise.)
Good idea wrt list! Thanks!
Tags:
#(October 2015) #conversational aglets #101 Uses for Infrastructureless Computers #Brin owns *two* 2010’s computers now
My verdict on Greyhound is that it is perfectly adequate if you are constrained by money more than time. It is worse in terms of comfort than driving my own car, but better in terms of not having to pay attention. It is worse than an airplane in terms of time, better in terms of cost for moderate distances, and better in terms of the logistics of boarding and luggage management. It is, imo, identical in terms of seat comfort except that so far it seems way more likely to have a near-empty bus for portions of the trip than a near-empty airplane. Greyhound does lose some points by not being as cool as flying and getting to see the tops of clouds + all the tiny ground people.
Bet it’s more miserable than a plane during the summer, though.
It continues to weird me out that nobody ever talks about the constant ear discomfort at altitude and horrible ear pain on descent when discussing the pros and cons of airplanes. Am I unusually sensitive to pressure changes? Is this only a problem on budget airlines?
A vehicle at ground level would have to try pretty hard to be more miserable than a plane. I *cried* last time I was on a descending plane, and I do not cry easily.
(I’m not sure how much pain my brother experiences *during* flight, but he *always* gets an ear infection after plane trips. Maybe there’s some genetic thing going on.)
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I’ve been on two-hour Greyhounds a couple times as part of Girl Guide trips, and they seemed okay. Probably would be even better now that I have a smartphone: last time I was on a Greyhound I brought no Internet-capable computers because I didn’t have any light enough to be worth lugging around the whole trip, so I didn’t get to use the Wi-Fi.
Tags:
#reply via reblog #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #Brin owns *two* 2010’s computers now
Look I DON’T CARE if I won’t haVE TIme FoR reading I WILL BRING MY BOOK ANYWAY cause having a book with you when you go somewhere is such a good feeling, OKAY?
Tags:
#yes this #I bring paper books a lot less often than I used to #(I’m more strongly germophobic now that I work at an outside-the-home non-freelance customer-facing job) #(there are never times anymore where I can just take a week off from my life with no knock-on effects) #(if I get sick every possible response involves letting a bunch of people down) #(including my future selves who needed those wages for food and shelter and stuff) #((yes of course I take the stay-home response)) #((I am neither amoral enough nor desperate enough to sink to such levels of evil)) #((and my boss gives out unpaid leave very freely as long as you tell him in advance or have a decent reason why you couldn’t have known)) #anyway my point was that paper books are kind of a pain to disinfect #and if you have a dedicated Outside Book you won’t make much progress in it because yeah there often *isn’t* time for reading #what I do have is a vast and ever-expanding archive stored on my smartphone #much of it in the form of text #and quite a bit of that in the form of ebooks #I agree that it’s not *quite* the same visceral feeling as clutching a chunk of paper to you #but I find it does manage to capture *most* of the comforting emotions #tag rambles #in which Brin has a job #Brin owns *two* 2010’s computers now #tangents #I guess I’m in a tag-rambly mood today
Speaking of self-sufficient smartphones, and today in Posts I’m Writing Because I Know I’m Going to Want to Link Them Later, here are some offline-focused apps I already have:
File interfaces: AndrOpen Office: takes a ridiculously large amount of storage space (400 MB!), but if you have the room for it, a pretty good way of interfacing with the .odt- and .doc-formatted parts of your archive. (If you don’t have the room for it, LibreOffice Viewer is better than nothing.) FBReader: A good way of interfacing with the .epub- and (if you get the extension for it) .pdf-formatted parts of your archive. foobar2000: I used to use built-in MP3-player apps, but that forces you to change to a new one when you change phones. Then for a little while I had one that didn’t offer mass-adding to playlists and, if you tried to skip to a particular point in a track, *pretended* to work but actually skipped you to a *random* point in the track. This one doesn’t seem to have either of those problems. Kiwix: The leading way to interface with the .zim-formatted parts of your archive. If you don’t have any .zim files (or if you do, for that matter), they will offer you some. I highly recommend downloading Wikipedia and Wiktionary. (The current version of the app is a little prone to crashing, but it’s still usable IME, and I expect they’ll fix it at some point.) ZArchiver: For the .zip (or tarball, I guess) parts of your archive.
Things that prefer to sync with the cloud at least occasionally, but in the absence of Internet will continue running off of their (increasingly outdated) local copy of the data indefinitely: MapFactor: Offline maps by province! OpenStreetMaps-based, so if you find an error you can (once you have Internet again) just fix it and it will trickle down with the next map update! Saved-waypoint backups to both cloud and file! Does *not* delete your maps if you haven’t had a chance to update them for a few weeks (seriously, Google Maps, what the fuck)! Google Calendar: need I say more? Google Sheets: Currently I rarely need my spreadsheets to be offline (a lot of them deal with online games), but it’s nice to have around for the exceptions. Google Translate: not all functions can be made available offline, but you can still do a fair bit if you make sure to grab all the offline-language packages you might need beforehand. Unit Converter: Internet is completely irrelevant for most of this, but there is a currency-conversion function as well. Never realised how useful a currency converter would be until I had one: lets me do things like follow Mom around Aldi translating the prices of everything she’s interested in buying, to help her decide if it’s a good deal or not. Weather Underground: Obviously, this one becomes outdated sooner rather than later, but it’s still nice as they go. Dropsync: Last I checked, the official Dropbox app had neither a “sync all files” option nor a “store files on SD card” option. This one does both.
Things I keep around specifically in case of being without Internet: OffLine Browser: I haven’t really had a chance to use this yet, and I’m not sure its use case really applies to me (generally if I want a local copy of a website, I want it for the long term and portable; I don’t tend to need temporary or app-tied caches), but it might come in handy. Avast Wi-Fi Finder: Whenever possible, use wifimap.io instead. Problem with wifimap.io is, it only offers downloadable maps by city (and doesn’t show which province-level jurisdiction the city is in, just which country; you don’t get to know, say, which of the 12 Stratfords in America it’s actually offering you), so no matter how well you predict which locations you’re going to end up in, sooner or later you’re likely to end up in a location too small to have an associated downloadable map. (In which case it’s still useful for situations where you can use the live map, like “has *some* mobile data but is looking to stretch it out by supplementing with Wi-Fi”, but if you have no Internet at all it’s useless.) Avast is much buggier, tending to lose hotspot listings, but at least it offers whole-country downloads. It’s better than nothing: just remember to take its information (*especially* information on where hotspots *aren’t*) with plenty of salt. (Take wifimap.io’s information on where hotspots aren’t with salt too, and consider fixing it where you can. I like to go out to new places and go treasure-hunting for unlisted public hotspots to add.) Nethack: Okay, not so much something I keep around in case of being without *Internet* so much as something I keep around in case of being without a *laptop*. As I mentioned earlier in the post, I prefer laptops for more complex games; however, if someday I have to go without a laptop for an extended period, I want to reserve the right to play Nethack anyway.
Tags:
#oh look an original post #101 Uses for Infrastructureless Computers #Brin owns *two* 2010’s computers now #recs
Why does anger feel good? Most of my undesirable emotions are painful in addution to themselves, so I actively want them to stop. Anger is the one I hesitate to soothe. When I’m angry, it makes me angrier to try to talk myself down instead of letting the rage play out. I can still do it, but it takes a very different kind of effort compared to sadness, or anxiety, fear, or irritation.
Sadness is something I impulsively indulge in, sometimes, but my natural tendency is to do so by seeking comfort, so it’s self-regulating.
When I’m anxious or afraid, I want to get out of that state immediately. This doesn’t always generate *effective* behavior but I’m not resisting the attempt to feel better out of an active desire to stay that way.
Irritation isn’t the same thing as anger. It’s excessive sensitivity. It can turn into anger, but I never want to remain irritable.
Anger moves me to take action. It’s satisfying to direct anger at a target. It feels *good* to rail against some real or imagined wrong. Some of the clearest thinking I’ve ever experienced has been at the peak of justified anger. The risk of indulgence here is pretty obvious. Given how much satisfaction I get from anger, I think I do a pretty good job of staying away from rage-bait. I’m also lucky in that I’m not easily driven to anger in the first place. Most of my anger-management is preventative. I’m not sure what I’d do if that got, say, 40% harder.
I’m curious about other people. Answer all or just some of these, if you want:
Do you work yourself up over things, intentionally or otherwise?
Do you seek out material that triggers anger but does little else for you?
When you are angry, do you ever want to stay angry?
Does that ever change depending on why you’re angry?
Do you find it difficult to notice that being angry is making you less effective?
*Does* anger make you less effective, and how do you tell either way?
Do you ever want to stay angry even after acknowledging that it would be better (for whatever reason) to stop being angry?
>>It’s satisfying to direct anger at a target.<<
Personally, I find anger the *exact opposite* of satisfying.
Anger, for me, is very much about violence. Anger is a desire to hurt the entity that wronged me; if the entity that wronged me is not capable of experiencing pain (like if a rock fell on my foot) or I don’t expect I will be able to successfully hurt them (so, always; violence is far too risky for me to seriously attempt it), this will often spread out into a more generalised longing to cause pain. Getting angry tends to wind up as a period of feeling intensely unfulfilled regarding the utter lack of beating-people-up in my life.
When angry, I tend to feel conflicted about ceasing to be angry in much the same way that I feel conflicted about any other attempt to deal with unfulfilled desires by ceasing to want the thing.
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>>Do you seek out material that triggers anger but does little else for you?<<
Only under orders. Eventually I learned to treat “pressures you to experience anger” as a major red flag.
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I can also be conflicted about ceasing to be afraid: yes, I want to be unafraid, but I specifically want to be unafraid *because the scary thing is gone*. Deep-breathing exercises and other such techniques, things about trying to trick your brain into feeling safe independently of whether it actually *is* safe, are repulsive. The closest I get is fear also increasing my desire to defend against *other* bad things than the one I’m actively being menaced with: to use the most recent example, I tend to be more interested in making my smartphone resilient against loss of Internet if I’m experiencing a lot of financial anxiety, even though my level of Internet access is effectively unrelated to how much money I have (I don’t expect to ever be poor enough to lack home Internet (it’s profitable on net!), nor rich enough to be comfortable buying [a personal mobile data connection with plenty of buffer]).
However, I usually *do* endorse ceasing to be sad even if nothing about the thing that was making me sad improves.
Tags:
#in related news if you have smartphone self-sufficiency tips I’m interested in hearing them #(there’s a reason the prepping tag is:) #101 Uses for Infrastructureless Computers #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #reply via reblog #violence cw #and more tangentially related: #adventures in human capitalism #Brin owns *two* 2010’s computers now
Ah di teacha And ah spice Every man grab a gyal And every gyal grab a man
Compulsory sexuality right out the gate? Oh, well. I guess this is Dancehall, after all.
Man to man, gyal to gyal – dat’s wrong
A WILD HOMOPHOBIA APPEARS
Seriously, this has nothing to do with the focus of the song. This song isn’t about gays at all. Kartel just felt the need to throw that in there. Why? The world may never know…
To quote @loki-zen: “I really like cake, here’s a song about cake, let me describe the cake, also by the way FUCK THE FRENCH AM I RIGHT so anyway, this cake…”
SCORN DEM
…And, with that line alone, this song becomes my Problematic Fave. It is a work of art.
All when ah night Yuh pussy feel like sun hot
Spice’s Vagina: Approximately 5,500C at the surface.
When yuh come inna mi ramping shop Mek sure yuh know how fi wuk And nah chat yah ah chat
Ah, right, because singing a song about your sexual prowess is totally showing instead of telling.
Hey, mi cocky longa dan mi knife
Kartel, wah di bloodclat mi jus ask you fi do? Didn’t the song just say not to make ridiculous boasts? YOU HAD ONE JOB
Tell mi wah yuh like Yuh wah mi drive or yuh wah fi ride it like a bike
Figure 1.1: Spice And Kartel Having Sex
Well, yuh haffi ram it hard Di cocky nuh fi lie Damage it fi spite
…Well this just got surprisingly kinky. Not sure if it’s SSC, but I’ll let it pass.
Not becah mi pussy tight Suppose mi put it pon di left Can yuh tek it pon di right Mi nipple dem a ripe
Figure 1.2: Spice’s Breasts
Sen it up inna mi tribe What? titty appetite Every nipple get a bite Mi man haffi go see it Mi and him haffi go fight
Oh, great. Just when I thought this couldn’t get better: She has a boyfriend/husband who doesn’t know they’re fucking and is going to be pissed when he sees the hickies on her breasts. Spice & Kartel: Perfect Role-Models.
Cah me haffi wine pon di cocky like dis Kartel spin mi like a satellite dish
…I don’t think you’re supposed to do that to your satellite dishes…
Deal wid yuh breast like mi crushin Irish
Wait, what? Kartel, I get it, we all know that you’re a wannabe Englishman – but what the fuck do you have against the Irish?
Spice I neva love a pussy like dis You ah my mista You ah my miss Kill me wid di cocky Kill me wid di tightness
You two clearly enjoy having a bit too much murder in your sex lives. Maybe you and @inquisitivefeminist would get along after all?
And when you ah come Whispa someting like dis: “I can’t stop fuckin you”
… … …
Is this really the most romantic pillow talk you could come up with? You aren’t even singing it in a vaguely romantic manner!
Hey, cocky nuh play Me will bruk yuh back
Kartel Confirms: Cocks don’t break backs, people with cocks break backs, and people with granite cocks break their backs lifting Moloch to the sky.
When yuh come inna mi ramping shop Me will quint it up two time and pop yuh cock When yuh come inna mi ramping shop Me will mek yuh run out a mi house Inna half ah frock
The Walk of Shame: A Perk of Fucking Kartel.
When yuh come inna mi ramping shop A gyal eva ride pon it and gi yuh heart attack When yuh come inna mi ramping shop
Figure 1.3: Spice’s Vagina
Spice ah you mi love Yuh know how fi do yuh stuff Yuh pussy buff Plus it squeeze like handcuff
Let’s be real: I have seen a lot, but I’m not even sure what kink they’re going for here.
I’m only sure of one thing, really: Kartel could write a pretty interesting Fifty Shades of Grey fan fic.
Kartel ah you mi love See it deh, mi cock it up Fuh yuh ramp ruff Til mi belly cramp up
Stomach Cramps: So Sexeh
Sshhh di climax begun Bear sweat a run Hold mi tight spice Mi feel like mi ah cum
“So, I know that I’m climaxing right now. Ialso feel like I’m coming, but I’m not so sure. How can you tell?”
Mi nah let yuh go So don’t let me done Me two phone a ring and me nah ansa none
In case you’re not sure why she explicitly mentions two phones, it’s the third world equivalent of a rap brag. She is so filthy rich that she can afford not just one but two cellular phones. Two of them! Mobile phones! Bow before her fat stacks, pleb.
And, like, this is a legitimately impressive brag for the target audience. As someone who can see this from both the third world (”Wow, that’s amazing!”) and first world (”…Is that it?”) perspectives, lines like this give me a weird sense of vertigo.
Cah me haffi wine pon di cocky like dis Kartel spin me like a satellite dish Deal wid yuh breast like mi crushing Irish Spice I neva love a pussy like dis You ah my mista You ah my miss Kill me wid di cocky Kill me wid di tightness And when you a come Whispa someting like dis I can’t stop fuckin you
In all seriousness, all of these lines sound more ridiculous on the second run through.
Hey, cocky nuh play Me will bruk yuh back When yuh come inna mi ramping shop Me will quint it up two time and pop yuh cock When yuh come inna mi ramping shop Me will mek yuh run out a mi house Inna half ah frock When yuh come inna mi ramping shop A gyal eva ride pon it and gi yuh heart attack When yuh come inna mi ramping shop
There are so many ways that this is hella dysfunctional, but I’m just gonna leave that there.
Ah di teacha And ah spice Every man grab a gyal And every gyal grab a man Man to man, gyal to gyal – dats wrong SCORN DEM
Fuck the French! SCORN THEM
All when a night Yuh pussy feel like sun hot When yuh come inna mi ramping shop Mek sure yuh know how fi wuk And nah chat yah ah chat
Ooh, maybe he’ll listen to this advice on the second run through?
Cocky nuh play Mi will bruk yuh back
Ha. Ha. Ha.
When yuh come inna mi ramping shop Mi will quint it up two time and pop yuh cock When yuh come inna mi ramping shop Mi will mek yuh run out a mi house Inna half ah frock When yuh come inna mi ramping shop A gyal eva ride pon it and gi yuh heart attack When yuh come inna mi ramping shop
Thank you, Kartel, for clearly and persuasively presenting all the reasons why I don’t want to visit your “ramping shop”. >lesbianism increases
This is a fairly old post, but I still think about this bit a lot:
>>In case you’re not sure why she explicitly mentions two phones, it’s the third world equivalent of a rap brag. She is so filthy rich that she can afford not just one but *two* cellular phones. Two of them! *Mobile* phones! Bow before her fat stacks, pleb.
And, like, this is a legitimately impressive brag for the target audience. As someone who can see this from both the third world (”Wow, that’s amazing!”) and first world (”…Is that it?”) perspectives, lines like this give me a weird sense of vertigo.<<
I thought about this a lot last summer, when I was routinely running a mobile hotspot on one phone and playing Pokemon Go on a second, and I think about it a lot now that I’m routinely using two smartphones both of which *I personally* own (the hotspot one was borrowed from Mom).
Because the thing is, I use multiple phones *because I’m poor*. Richer people can afford a single device good enough to do everything they want it to do, rather than having to network multiple inadequate phones into one functioning system. (the first phone was too low-spec to run Pokemon Go itself, and the second had no cell plan of any kind, let alone data) Richer people don’t care that owning a second device, if used properly, grants an additional ~$0.50 – $1/day income stream, because $1/day is immaterial to them.
And yes, I understand that at the level of poverty the song assumes, the alternative to multiple inadequate phones is a *single* inadequate phone, and just not doing the things it can’t do. (or *zero* phones, though I gather that’s increasingly less common these days) But I still think it’s interesting that “has a single mobile device” can indicate either “poor” or “rich” depending on context. (And I suspect even richer people wrap around another time and start using multiple mobile devices again: at least, *somebody* has to be buying Kindles or they wouldn’t make them. God knows what the *very* rich people are up to.)
#music #nsfw text #death mention #reply via reblog #Brin owns *two* 2010’s computers now #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #(close enough) #adventures in human capitalism #this post brought to you by helping a semi-homeless friend research cheap high-data-limit plans to stick into their old hand-me-down iPhone #because they’re not putting down enough roots in any location to get home Internet set up #so mobile data and the occasional public Wi-Fi is all they have #(they too have been learning the joys of mobile hotspots) #the relationship between financial position and phone usage can be very complicated indeed #homophobia
you can tell a lot about someone based on their phone background. it shows what’s most important to them
Reblog this and put what your phone background in the tags
Tags:
#the prettiest of the available default backgrounds on the first smartphone I ever owned #(waves rolling across a water surface) #I saved the image file and have been copying it to each new smartphone #it’s amazing how much home-ier a phone feels once it’s got the right background on it #…yeah tbh it *does* say a lot about me doesn’t it #meme #Brin owns *two* 2010’s computers now #(I have actually decided to keep the old smartphone) #(we’ve been finding it useful to have a spare Android device around) #(but that’s a category tag and I’m not planning to change it)
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