So there’s this company in the UK, right. They brand themselves on producing fancy free range eggs and as part of that they have breed information written on the carton.
I did some snooping and found that every miracle news story of a supermarket egg hatching in the UK traced back to duck eggs, specifically the Braddock White duck eggs produced by this one company for the supermarket Waitrose.
And one day my mum brings them home and says “I bought these to eat but aren’t they the ones that hatch?”
And it’s spring and I’m hatching a ton this year so in they went.
On candling we had three fertile eggs! That’s a fertility of 50% – the same as shipped eggs from a breeder!
Hatch day comes and we get 2 ducklings, Curie and Becquerel. Sadly, Curie contracts duck septicaemia from an infected navel and doesn’t make it, but Becquerel is a healthy bird and growing like a weed.
I had put 4 breeder eggs in a week after them in case just one hatched, so Becque now has two Khaki Campbell cross friends called Tsuki and Hoshi so she isn’t lonely.
And as of today’s 7am Quacking – Becque is a female! Which means she’s capable of laying eggs and therefore I have pirated a duck.
You wouldn’t download a duck
Tags:
#food #ducks #adorable #death tw? #fun with loopholes #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(I did laugh at the ”pirated a duck” line‚ but‚ like‚ they *did* pay for the egg) #(I guess it’s more like DRM stripping)
Characters being compared to dogs always use terriers or pitbulls or something for their metaphors. “They grab on and they don’t let go” “They keep worrying at it until it’s dead” etc.
Anyway, I want to see collies used as metaphors. Albert Payson Terhune style. “He was like an attack dog–making slash-and-run attacks, cutting them up worse every time, never staying in range long enough to get hurt but circling back over and over.”
He was like a beagle – AAAUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *breath* AUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #dogs #language #overly literal interpretations
it’s 11:59. Seconds before the clock strikes 12 and it’s officially my 18th birthday. “18 year olds and older, DNI” i post onto tumblr, swiping and killing half of my followers and mutuals. the clock hits 12. “Minors DNI” I post. going in for the second attack, swiping and killing the other half of my followers and mutuals.
the dust clears. the battlefield littered with bodies. only leaving the spare porn bot and sugar daddy. I’ll be celebrating my birthday alone this year.
what the fuck happens in deathnote
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(I do not in fact know what happens in Death Note) #(I assume this is funny in a different way if you do) #Death Note #death tw? #murder cw?
went to alcatraz today. was not able to conclusively locate the secret entrance to the underground lab run by the Cult of the Beast that’s infiltrated the highest echelons of our government (to stop them from distributing soda that mutates people into radio transmitters for a signal that will awaken the long-slumbering mother of monsters beneath the earth), but did locate several promising entrance candidates for the strike team to investigate.
oh, the model industries building is a “rusted out husk” and “structurally unsound” and the public isn’t allowed inside “for their own safety”, sure. i’m sure all that loading equipment lying around is for totally innocuous purposes, and the fact that it’s right next to the powerhouse where all the pumps (repurposed for mutant soda distribution) and generators for the entire island are located- that’s a wacky coincidence, definitely.
you motherfuckers ain’t foolin’ me
@caprice-nisei-enjoyer i appreciate that you’re yes-and-ing the bit here, but the thing you don’t understand is that i am 100%* serious and these are real** problems i am dealing with. Capricornus Industries is a front for the Cult of the Beast and there is a strike team that will be raiding their secret lab under alcatraz to shut them down and prevent humanity from getting Third Impact’d by a demon or whatever. i did go to alcatraz today*** in order to scout out the layout and locate potential security vulnerabilities to exploit, and fresh local ingredients can eat my entire ass
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #storytime #(if you’re *going* to go on vacation somewhere that does sound like a fun way to decide where)
Update: I have now listened to the first season of “24 Bauer Party People”, and it is *very* funny.
Tags:
#oh look an update #podcasts #recs #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(sort of) #food? #this probably deserves some other warning tag but I am not sure what
People out here loving all the wrong CS Lewis quotes. Wake up
Someone please make a cross stitch art using “in the name of the Father and of the Son and if the Holy Ghost, here goes-” and a t-shirt design “Glory be to God I’m tired”. I am begging you
T-shirt? Even better, make it a quilt saying, “Glory be to God, I’m tired.”
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #Space Trilogy #(FTR I did not enjoy the Space Trilogy‚ and gave up after the second book‚ but I will acknowledge that it has good parts) #Christianity #violence cw
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #Twitter #discourse cw? #this probably deserves some other warning tag but I am not sure what #(is this funnier if Stalin *is* a Pisces or if he *isn’t*?) #((*pokes at some calendars* it looks like he’s a Sagittarius)) #computer generated text
dnis are evitonmental storytelling because you can instantly imagine the incomprehensible hellscape someone is trapped in if they have a dni that’s like dni if you:
think irish people can’t be pan
are an apologist for season 2 scrunklepus or the knights of glop
hunt and kill people for sport
play frunko’s quest
think movies always have to be slimy
think it’s okay for welsh people to cosplay flugson
don’t tag bibbles or togs
think that dutch and samoan are the same nationality
use the z-slur
participated in the srebenica massacre
are mutuals with steve
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #the humour of my people #discourse cw? #racism cw? #murder cw?
Brinens and Things 