totally got my surprise party spoiled for me in the mall today. i was just standing there in line in the food court and suddenly started thinking about what i should buy myself for my birthday and then realized i’d accidentally made eye contact with tanya the reverse psychic because i guess she works at subway now. it’s cool that she’s helping plan it though, so i just asked politely about the song she had stuck in her head and made my order. the $5 footlong special today was unmystery meat again. we’re not supposed to know what it is, but we do. we all do.
it’s going to be at lana’s house in the valley, which is cool because she has one of the most lightly cursed pac-man tables in the city, but it’s so annoying to get to. i’m basically useless at forgetting where i’m going and obviously we don’t technically have a valley so you never find the right street to turn onto if you’re actually thinking about it. plus all of her neighbours are sooo pretentious. practically everyone who lives in accidental neighbourhoods is so pretentious. like, get over yourself; nothing else exists, either, probably, so what makes where you live so cool?
whatever, i’m still really excited! mom is finally giving in to my pleas for corrective surgery even though she thinks i “should be pleased with who i am no matter what” or whatever mom stuff she got taught to say in the mom academy (which, by the way, i am still convinced she only did online classes for). i know for a fact my self-esteem will be sooo much better afterwards. all i’m doing is removing that weird chip i was born with that causes static and loud feedback and small fires around most electronics. it’s just embarrassing and not at ALL something “all teenagers go” through, MOM. you wanna know what all teenagers go through? routine surgery to remove unfamiliar and unclaimed tech from their bodies. sometimes it’s like she literally just doesn’t remember being sixteen or having a body. parents, i swear.
PLUS i don’t want to get my hopes up but i’ve heard rumours that it might even fix that thing where my face always glitches in photographs, which would be pretty cool. chris said that his cousin used to only show up in pictures as the half-rotten corpse of whoever he was standing closest to and after a similar procedure he just looks like they’ll look ten or fifteen years in the future, which, obviously, sometimes still a half-rotten corpse, but still on the whole just so much better. how awesome would it be to actually be in the yearbook once before i graduate?
i haven’t mentioned it to my mom because it’s sort of a secret, i guess, but it also means that i’ll finally be eligible to apply for an internship at the radio station. obviously the static thing really messed up my chances there, so i’ve been keeping it under wraps so i didn’t come across as like pathetic or whatever. this is the first time it’s been a real option and i am PUMPED.
cecil stopped me yesterday at the grocery store to interview the cantaloupe i was buying and after they were finished— TOTALLY listened to that melon stories segment while eating the fruit salad i made with it, btw, sooo awkward— i told him about the surgery and he smiled and put a hand firmly on my shoulder and said, “I’ve heard from many that the pain is unique and unrelenting, and the drugs they give you do not allow you to black out… or to forget. This may be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity— though, perhaps not— if you are lucky.“ we shared a long laugh about the thought of me being lucky, because even with the fluorescent lights bouncing off my school shirt, obviously i don’t have the warm, colourful glow that radiates softly on the skin of the naturally lucky. he’s a pretty cool guy.
alright, wow, the sun sets in an hour and i was supposed to stare at it for three hours today for stupid summer school homework but i’m not super worried. everyone’s crammed an essay last-minute before and my grades have been pretty good so far. ciao for now.
