outofcontextdnd:

“I can worship multiple gods, I’m polyamorous!”
“…You mean polytheistic?”
“I’m into that too!”


Tags:

#I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #(Tumblr can’t quite seem to decide whether or not the formatting on this post is broken) #(sorry if it’s on ”broken” when you see it)

copperbadge:

Samuel L. Jackson seriously wants to be in the new Star Wars movies. He doesn’t care how it happens, he doesn’t care how many arms he has or how dead he is, or if he has to somehow do this as Nick Fury instead of Mace Windu.

Is there anyone among us who doesn’t think Star Wars could use a little Nick Fury? (Source)

…it’s a universe with a well-established history of just cloning the shit out of people at the slightest excuse. Samuel L. Jackson could theoretically play every role in the next movie without it being that implausible, by Star Wars standards.

(via stuckinabucket)

Holy shit I would pay twice the going rate for a movie ticket to see a film performed entirely by Samuel L. Jackson. I don’t even care what film. Star Wars, Pride & Prejudice, Sherlock Holmes, The Godfather…Any. Movie.

(via copperbadge)

“From the first moment I met you, your arrogance and fucking conceit made me realize that you were the last motherfucker in the world I could ever be fucking prevailed upon to marry.”

(via hippity-hoppity-brigade)

It is a truth fucking universally acknowledged that a single motherfucker in possession of a giant motherfucking fortune must be in want of a goddamn wife.

(via knottahooker)

“The fucking recollection of what I said—of my fucking conduct, my fucking manners, my motherfucking expressions during it, is now, and has been many fucking months, goddamned painful to me.  Your reproof, I shall never fucking forget: ‘had you behaved like less of a motherfucker.’ Those were your goddamned words.  You know not, you can scarcely fucking conceive, how they have tortured me.”

(via stuckinabucket)

“Really, Watson, you fucking excel yourself,” said Holmes, pushing back his chair and lighting a cigarette. “I am bound to say that in all the fucking accounts which you have been so good as to give of my own small achievements you have fucking habitually underrated your own motherfucking abilities. It may be that you are not yourself fucking luminous, but you are a motherfucking conductor of light. Some people without possessing genius have a fucking remarkable power of stimulating it. I confess, my dear fellow, that I am very much in your fucking debt.”

(via knottahooker)

Motherfucker, mama always said life was like a box of fucking chocolates. You never fucking know what you’re gonna get.

(via asgardian-feminist)

To fuck up a motherfucker or to not fuck up a motherfucker, that is the question.

(via getdowngetfunky)

Guys this is the kind of thinking that got Snakes On A Plane made

(via xtremecaffeine)

But soft! What fucking light through yon motherfucking window breaks! It is the fucking east, and that motherfucker Juliette is the fucking sun

(via knottahooker)

“Harry, you’re a mothafuckin wizard.”
“Say what?”
“Bitch, did I stutter?”

(via ididthatonce)

“A little motherfucking sea-bathing would set me up for fucking ever.”

(via baileyeverywhere)

“About three goddamn things I was absolfuckinglutely postive. First, Edward was a motherfucking vampire. Second, there was a part of his sparkly blood drinking ass — and shit if I know how strong that part of the cold bastard might be — that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was fucking unconditionally, irrefuckinvocably, in motherfucking love with the pale ass blood drinking motherfucker. “

(via duelist925)

We want the finest motherfuckin’ cakes known to humanity. We want them fuckers here and we want them fuckers now!

(via wellharkather)

“One day, and that fuckin’ day may never come, I may call upon your bitch ass to do me a motherfuckin’ favor.  But for now, consider this a fuckin’ piece of generosity on the day of my daughter’s fuckin’ wedding.”

(via endlesskng)

“You cannot fucking stain a motherfucking black coat.”

(via maddy44)

“And none for Gretchen motherfucking Weiners, bye.”

(via jujuberry136)

“My good fucking opinion, once lost, is lost forever, motherfucker.”

(via misamdry)

We must be as swift as the fucking cold river, with all the force of the badass typhoon, screw shit up like the goddamn fire, mysterious as the mutherfucking dark side of the motherfucking moon.

(via nethenclawpuff)

“I’M FLYING MOTHERFUCKERS!”

(via loracarol)

The wand chooses the god damn wizard motherfucker!

(via queenofthedicks)

Mr. Kane was a man who got everything he wanted and then lost it. Maybe Motherfucker was something he couldn’t get, or something he lost. Anyway, it wouldn’t have explained anything; I don’t think any word can explain a man’s life. No, I guess Motherfucker is just a… piece in a jigsaw puzzle… a missing piece.”

(via saunteringvaguelydownwards)

“With great motherfucking power comes great motherfucking responsibility.”

(via stuckinabucket)

“I will take the motherfucking ring to fucking Mordor.” [pause] “Though I do not know the motherfucking way.”

(via lord-kitschener)

“I’m the mother fucking Doctor, bitch! I’m worse than everybody’s fucking aunt!”

(via putthecheeseinthemac)

“Pay no fucking attention to that motherfucker behind the curtain.”

(via breelandwalker)

One ring to rule those bitchasses, one ring to goddamn find them, one ring to bring all those motherfuckers and in darkness bind them.

(via thebatsknees)

“I’m gonna fucking steal the Declaration of Motherfucking Independence.”

(via eternal8song)

“Your ass shouldn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, motherfucker.”

“Lemme tell you a riddle. Your ass is waitin for a train, a train that will take your ass far away.  You know where you hope this motherfuckin train will take you, but you don’t motherfuckin know for goddamn sure. But it doesn’t motherfuckin matter. How the fuck can it not matter to you where the fuck this train takes your ass?”

(via hellyeahangels)

“Fuckers assume that time is a fucking strict progression of motherfucking cause to motherfucking effect. But actually from a goddamned non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint it’s more like a big motherfucking ball of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey…goddamned stuff.”

(via dramageekforthewin)

Toto, I’ve got a goddamn feeling we ain’t in motherfucking Kansas no more.

(via total-screaming-genius)

One morning I shot a motherfucking elephant in my fucking pajamas.  How the fuck it got there, I don’t motherfucking know.

(via underscorethony)

This is motherfucking Sparta bitch!

(via abumponthehead)

Seven motherfucking minutes ago… we, your forefather motherfuckers, were brought forth upon a most motherfucking excellent adventure conceived by our new friends, Bill… and Ted. These two great motherfucking gentlemen are dedicated to a proposition which was true in my motherfucking time, just as it’s true today. Be motherfucking excellent to each other. And… MOTHERFUCKING PARTY ON, DUDES!

(via pileofmonkeys)

“As you goddamm wish.”

(via aka14kgold)

“I AM MOTHERFUCKING SPARTACUS.”

(via lostinhistory)

“No, *I* am motherfucking Spartacus.”

(via quigonejinn)

“One motherfuckin’ day more before the godamn storm. Will we ever, ever, for the love of a motherfucker in the storm, meet the fuck again?”

(via johnnysnotmyname)

That motherfucker is like fucking fire and ice and shit. He’s like the motherfucking night and the storm and the heart of the goddamn sun. He’s ancient as shit and fucking forever. He fucking burns at the center of goddamn time and he can see the turn of the fucking universe. And that motherfucker is awesome as shit.

(via only-slightly-insane)

Guys Star wars happens “A long long time ago, In a galaxy Far Far away” Fury hasn’t been born yet in them.

(via jimbly)

Only if you assume that George Lucas was making a documentary. Otherwise for all we know the actual intended audience of the piece was Jack Harkness sitting around on Boeshane in the year 5122.

Also this seems to indicate a despicable lack of faith in the time travel abilities of Nick Fury.

Or that you think our current Nick Fury is not himself potentially a clone of the Furies that existed a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

(via copperbadge)

…and now I am picturing Samuel L. Jackson as all three Greek Furies.

“We’re here for vengeance, motherfuckers!”

(via persian-slipper)

Either way, you’ll be receiving a visit from Director Fury shortly. I strongly suggest you have an explanation prepared.

(via copperbadge)


Tags:

#long post #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(most of them don’t do much for my sense of humour) #(but I laughed at ”how the fuck can it not matter to you where the fuck this train takes your ass?”) #Samuel L Jackson

astheshadowslovethecastle:

Is it possible to dress up like a ghost and fool people into thinking they’ve seen the real deal? Happily there is published research to answer this question, research carried out at no lesser institution than Cambridge University. For six nights in the summer of 1959, members of the Cambridge University Society for Research in Parapsychology took turns dressing up in a white muslin sheet and walking around in a well-traversed field behind the King’s College campus. Occasionally they would raise their arms, as ghosts will do. Other members of the team hid in bushes to observe the reaction of passersby. Although some eighty people were judged to have been in a position to see the figure, not one reacted or even gave it a second glance. The researchers found this surprising, especially given that the small herd of cows that grazed the field did, unlike the pedestrians, show considerable interest, such that two or three at a time would follow along behind the “ghost.” To my acute disappointment, “An Experiment in Apparitional Observation and Findings,” published in the September 1959 Journal of the Society for Psychical Research, includes no photographs.

Several months later, the researchers revised their experiment, changing the venue and adding “low moans” and, on one occasion, phosphorescent paint. One trial was set in a graveyard right off a main road and clearly in the sight line of drivers in both directions. Here observers hid in the bushes not only to record reactions, but to “avert traffic accidents” and “reassure anyone who became hysterical.” But again, not a single person of the hundred-plus who saw the figure thought it was a ghost, including two students from India. “Although we are superstitious in our country,” the men told one of the researchers, “we could see his legs and feet and knew it was a man dressed up in some white garment.”

In their final effort, the research team abandoned traditional ghost-apppropriate settings and moved the experiment into a movie theater that was screening an X-rated film. The author of the paper, A.D. Cornell, explained that the X rating was chosen to ensure no children were traumatized by the ghost, as though that somehow explained the choice of a porn theater as a setting for a ghost experiment. This time the “ghost” walked slowly across the screen during a trailer. The phosphorescence was not used this time and presumably low moans were deemed redundant. No mention is made of the specific images showing on the screen behind the ghost, but clearly they were a good deal more interesting: The audience was polled after the film, and forty-six percent of them didn’t notice the man in the sheet. Among those who did, not one thought he’d seen a ghost. (One man said he’d seen a polar bear.)

Spook, by Mary Roach

 

kelasparmak {{I think?}}:

“occasionally they would raise their arms, as ghosts will do.”


Tags:

#ghost #nsfw text? #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(”presumably low moans were deemed redundant”)

flyingpurplepizzaeater:

Faced with the concept that autism is an extreme male brain and simultaneously told that they just think they are boys due to their autistic traits, AFAB autistic persons would find themselves with no allowable gender identities.

Alyssa Hillary, Criptiques

 

slartibartfastibast:

Stan Gooch was rambling about this in the 70s.

 

isaacsapphire:

Huh, sounds up my alley.


Tags:

#yeah pretty much #(see also Jesse Bering) #gender #autism


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