Yknow when you see a post and you’re like “oh I have to reblog this for The Mutual” and then you scroll up and you see that the one who reblogged it is The Mutual
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#you know when you see a post and you’re like ”ah‚ it’s The Mutual” #and then you scroll up and you see it’s *not* The Mutual and you’re like ”oh I have to reblog this for The Mutual” #this post was queued to ensure proper timing
Item: Zygon Supermind Brainwave Light & Sound Synchronizing Machine, THE method for developing supernormal powers or learning foreign languages! Don’t worry, just use these cassettes to hypnotize yourself, nobody will steal your brainwaves or memories
#(surprised to find that it was *not* zmavli who put this on my dash in the first place) #the supernormal language thing is bullshit but I *have* heard light-and-sound machines make great sex toys #sexuality and lack thereof #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
I want the dumbest fridge you got. Gimme the orange tabby of refrigeration. I want my fridge to pull the wrong lever and turn my enemies into llamas instead of killing them. I want the following features: keeps things cold, has compartment that keeps things colder, a door that opens and shuts.
“Here at Stupid Jeff’s Dumb Appliance Warehouse we sell the dumbest fucking appliances. Check out this fridge. This fridge won’t ask you about your day, this dumb fucking fridge doesn’t know what an Elon Musk is and won’t fucking tell you what bullshit that dumb monkey is slapping into his phone today when you try to get some fucking milk. We took out all those “smart” electronics and in their place we put a loaded Glock 9mm that is put right up to that light that turns on when you open the door, which is the smartest thing in this fucking stupid fridge and let me tell you that fucker is on thin goddamn ice, if it gets too smart and tries to turn on before you open that door, the Glock will blow it to hell. Speaking of ice, this stupid fridge makes it. It makes ice, it keeps things cold, it comes with shelves. It’s sturdy enough that when your ex comes back to your place looking for their stuff that they think they left behind like nine months ago and they know that you don’t have it, but they wanted an excuse to come start a fight with you and throw a chair at your head but miss you and hit your fridge MICHAEL, this fridge will keep trucking because it gives zero shits and it only lives to keep things cold. Come to Stupid Jeff’s Dumb Appliance Warehouse, if you ask us if we have an app, we break your kneecaps.“
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#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(I don’t even want an ice maker‚ personally) #(never had an ice maker and never felt the lack) #(and I hear it’s usually by far the earliest part of the fridge to fail) #101 Uses for Infrastructureless Computers #violence cw? #this probably deserves some other warning tag but I am not sure what #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
With that robotgirl post going around, I think it’s time to remind you pervs of something important.
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#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #sexuality and lack thereof #nsfw text #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
#birds #art #comics #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
Real observations since I started wearing a wizard hat daily:
– Brim is so wide that I stay BONE DRY taking walks in the rain
– Brim can be positioned to block the sun from ever getting in my eyes AND keeping it off the back of my neck
– The pointed top part creates an air pocket, keeping my head from getting hot or squishing my hair as it might in a ball cap
– Hat can easily be pulled down over the tips of my ears without looking dumb, protecting them from wind chill
– Strangers say they like my hat, giving me the chance to tell them that I am a wizard
– When you’re wearing a wizard hat, ALL OTHER FASHION CHOICES become secondary, allowing you to branch out with style
Embrace ego death. Stay protected from all elements. Wear a wizard hat.
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#clothing #recs #(wouldn’t this be more self-actualisation than ego death though) #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
This is more unsettling. I know it’s there. I know it should be there. I know this pristine landscape is hiding its horrors like teeth.
[I.D. an edited version of the “children’s hospital” meme photo where the splattering red pattern on the hall floor has been removed. End I.D.]
Well duh. It’s just color theory
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#this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #unreality cw? #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
Y’know the thing people do in movies/shows where there like a monster/creature place and they poke a stick in there to investigate? Then it comes out shorter cause it got all chomped or broken? I want them to stick the stick in there and it comes back longer
I just grew your stick what’re you gonna do about it
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#story ideas I will never write #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
A guy who makes a big deal about “blood purity” which is why he supports kidney health and dialyses machines.
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#relatable #overly literal interpretations #(or maybe just-literal-enough interpretations) #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #racism cw? #illness tw? #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
I’ve probably made someone cry with one of my posts but only as a statistical likelihood, not like it’s a skillset of mine, sometimes people get set off by random things
i’ve gotten multiple anons telling me i made them cry get on my level
I think it’s not out of the question that I’ve made someone cry by informing them how “gaol” is actually pronounced.
“Tell me the truth, I’m ready to hear it.”
“In Classical Latin, ‘c’ is pronounced ‘k’ and ‘v’ is pronounced ‘w’, so Cicero is ‘kikero’ and vice versa is ‘WEE-keh WEHR-sa’.”
“*cries*”
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#I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say ”Cicero” out loud‚ and I just *assumed* it was supposed to be Kikero #however my mind had not correlated enough of its contents for ”vice versa” #language #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
Brinens and Things - Tumblr Mirror 