Okay okay but this is fascinating because it’s such a visceral example of how mythology works.
Most characters in mythologies are personifications of concepts, or embody some natural phenomenon – like the story of Hades and Persephone is there to explain why the seasons change, Persephone being spring, Demeter – summer, and the absence of them both resulting in death (Hade’s domain) and winter, and so we can’t have Persephone stay in underworld all year round or have Demeter steal her back to earth permanently, otherwise they myth would lose its core function.
Interpreting the myth without the lense of the natural phenomena that it explains would make it lose an integral part of itself, and therefore make the plot and characters seem strange or unnatural. Why does Demeter hate Hades so much, seeing how so many mothers are okay with Zeus doing atrocious things to their offspring just because he’s Zeus? Does Persephone actually want to stay or not? What’s with the bizarre arrangement?
Most modern interpretations strip myths of their natural contexts, making them character-driven instead of phenomena-driven, which just makes them land differently – they can still be fine stories, just not myths, not is the traditional sense.
And now we get to this beauty. This is absolutely a myth, the most classical kind. The relationship between characters, who are personifications of objects, phenomena or concepts (in this case, online platforms) used as an intuitively understood metaphor for an event (the demise of Twitter and the Tumblr userbase being unwilling to accept Twitter’s userbase).
It’s a story that can work as a so-called “explanation myths”. We have seasons because Persephone spends half a yesterday underworld and half a year with her mother. We don’t like Twitter because the Twitter God and Tumblr God broke up. Ladies and gents and other assorted respectables, we here are witnessing the creation of a perfect modern myth.
I thought about it way more than a non-feverish me would, and I’ve come to the conclusion:
The modern myth that is The Divorce of Tumblr and Twitter carries the themes of regression, corruption and downfall. Some of Twitter userbase used to be part of Tumblr userbase, but they left and changed (corruption). Now that Twitter is becoming uninhabitable (downfall), people are trying to return to Tumblr (regression, possible downfall of Tumblr), and to keep them off Tumblr is returning to its old cringe self (regression).
So, if we are to follow the themes, the logical conclusion would be to send the shoelaces back to the president.
There once lived a young man, handsome as daylight, bright and strong. He was known as Twitter, beloved by the people, a favorite of the gods. His chosen companion, Tumblr, was not dear to the people or the gods. He, a traveling storyteller, preferred solitude. His tales were strange and often unpleasant to the ears, but enchanting in their vulgarity.
One day, Tumblr’s patron goddess, Yahoo, enraged by his vulgar words, put a curse on him. He was not to utter vulgarities, speak of the pleasures of the flesh. His stories of lycanthrope companions were lost to the sands of time, and with them, his last listeners turned away from him.
Twitter watched others laugh at his beloved, turn him away from their doors, and a dark thought settled over him. He was perfect in every way, his only fault was the affiliation with the cursed taleweaver. And so, little by little, they drifted apart.
In his travels, Tumblr stumbled into the temple of Apollo, who bestowed upon him the gift of prophecy. He made acquaintance with the trifecta of wise temple maidens who induced visions through hallucinogenic incense. His stories changed, still bizarre and often vulgar, but at times full of wonder and truth.
At that time, Twitter enjoyed all the luxuries of the mortal world. He was the companion of kings, wealthy merchants, legendary heroes, wise philosophers.
One day, a man richer than rich, richer than the God of wealth, went to the senate of directors and asked to buy the most precious thing in the entire polis.
The senate thought long and hard, and said: “do you wish for our finest singer, the most sweet-voiced of the land, Spotifia? I am afraid I cannot part with her. ”
“No, ” said the rich man, his voice cold and harsh, “I said I have come to buy your most precious thing.”
“Have you come for our gambler, the chosen of the god of luck, MAXimil? They earn us more riches than you can offer. I shall not part with them. ”
“No,” the rich man repeated, “I have come to buy your most precious thing. I have come for Twitter.”
The senators laughed, then, for they knew this must be a joke. Twitter was too beloved by the gods to be owned as a servant. But the rich man did not smile. He offered money, then more and more still. As the goddess of hubris clouded his mind, he offered more money than he could afford to spend, more than the senate could afford to refuse, for it was enough gold to form armies five times the size of their polis.
And so Twitter, the proud Twitter, the untouchable Twitter who laughed at kings and scholars alike, became a servant.
As he was put onto a gilded ship to be sailed off to the rich man’s land, he prayed to the gods that granted him beauty and strength and a sharp tongue, but none answered. His cruelty and vanity made them turn away, and he was too full of his power to notice.
Finally, the young man remembered one more name. He called for Tumblr, his forgotten companion.
First time he called, the birds took off and flew in all directions. Second time he called, the animals fled in fear. Gathering all the strength he had, he called a third time.
His call shook the earth and the skies, and in an instant, Apollo’s taleweaver stood on the shore.
Twitter cried in relief. “My love!” he called, “save me! Save me, and I shall be yours for the eternity to come. I shall bask you in glory and riches. I shall make the people love you.”
Tumblr looked at the rich old man, at the gilded ship, gilded chains, at the other slaves that were meant to please the rich man during his trip, dressed in the finest clothes fit for kings and immortals.
“You’ll like your new life, dear. ” said Tumblr. “You are idle: he shan’t make you do much. You are prideful: he shall treat you like a god. You are vain, and so you might fear you might be forgotten, one servant among many. Fear not,” he smiled. “I shall sing a song of us.”
being a humanities major who’s friends with stem majors is so funny because you’ll ask your friends what they’re doing today and they’re like “UGH it’s so stressful i have to stabilize the reactor core for my nuclear power midterm and then i have to build the supercomputer from i have no mouth yet i must scream for my electrical engineering homework :/ what about you” and you’re like “oh well i have to read a fun little book and write an essay about gender.” and they still think you have it worse
Being a stem major who’s friends with humanities majors is ALSO funny bc you ask what’s goin on with them and they’re like “oh yeah my day’s pretty good! I only have to read 50 pages for this one class today and half a book for another one. It’s much better than last week where I read three books and wrote a 10 page paper about their overlapping motifs for one class while also researching a niche period of time that our library doesn’t have any resources on. How’s it been for you?” and you’re like “oh I have a lil packet of fun math puzzles due tomorrow.” and they look at you like you’re carrying the weight of the universe on your back
Tags:
#everyone is like this when they find out I’m studying accounting #Me: ”I’m training to get a job where I sit in a cozy cubicle and line up numbers neatly :)” #Everyone: ”we’re so glad you’re taking this bullet for society” #Me: ”did you know that‚ thanks to poor wording in rules intended to prevent offshore tax evasion #U.S. tax law effectively forbids investing in most index funds if you’re a non-resident? but there are a few meta-loopholes‚ like–” #(and you know what the weirdest part is? even *other accounting students* do the thing) #(people in my current tax certification course keep trying to commiserate with me about things I did not find unpleasant) #adventures in University Land #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #(P.S. on one particularly memorable occasion‚ the person grateful I was taking the bullet for society was a *nursing student*)
I love how about a third of the characters in the Game of Thrones universe have some silly little nickname and personal catchphrase that everyone uses with perfectly straight faces while having serious conversations. Every council meeting is like,
“My lord, the Spatula grows more treacherous by the day. He must be stopped.”
“The Milkshake is right, Your Grace. Soon his forces will be encroaching on the bay, into the lands of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy.”
“This has not escaped my notice, Ser Boring Guy With No Nickname. The Spatula is the gravest threat to the kingdom. But what can we do about it?”
“I have ten thousand troops ready at your command. Simply say the word and they will march to his castle gates. You know my house words, Your Grace.”
“Yes, yes. The Milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.”
When one had enough power to take a life with a twitch of a finger, a thought, they earned the right to wear skin-tight clothing and call themselves Hero, or Legend. To wear a mask and name themselves something inane like ‘the Cockatoo’ and still take themselves seriously.
it’s the same thing, deep down
Tags:
#A Song of Ice and Fire #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #death tw? #embarrassment squick?
As of November 9th 2022, the CDC is telling anyone with a weakened immune system, over 65, or who is pregnant to not eat any meat or cheese from deli counters anywhere in the country.
You are at higher risk for severe Listeria illness if you are pregnant, aged 65 or older, or have a weakened immune system due to certain medical conditions or treatments. If you are in any of these groups, do not eat meat or cheese from any deli counter, unless it is reheated to an internal temperature of 165°F or until steaming hot.
There have been 16 illnesses traced so far- 13 hospitalizations, 1 death. Illnesses have been clustered around New York State but have also appeared in California and Illinois. As always the true number of illnesses is certainly much larger.
Note that bit about “unless it is reheated to an internal temperature of 165°F”. Basically, treat deli meat as if it were raw: be careful what it touches until it’s been thoroughly cooked.
And, frankly, that goes for all risk groups: if you’re in a low-risk demographic listeria is unlikely to *kill* you (or even require you to navigate an already overwhelmed hospital system), but food poisoning is still well worth avoiding.
Tags:
#PSA #home of the brave #food #poison cw #illness tw #death tw? #reply via reblog #(that’s not even counting the possibility that you might not *be* in a low-risk demographic anymore) #(I suspect there’s a lot of people out there with COVID-sequela immune dysregulation who don’t realise it yet)
I hope that once everyone’s done laughing at the important blue checkmarks (no rush, it’s fucking hilarious), Tumblr considers other icons we can put by our names. Like little hats or something we can send to friends for a day for a dollar. Little animal companions. Good job stickers.
Had a dream this morning that Archive of our Own had a Random button which would simply take you to a random fanfic, like Wikipedia has. (AO3 does not appear to really have this, I checked and couldn’t find one, but I kinda wish they did.) Someone had started a game where whatever fic you got, that was your new fandom, which is very fun! I would love this meme in real life.
The problem came in where so many people used the button that it broke and just started sending everyone to Stealing Harry, and like…I have fond memories of Stealing Harry but it’s not my best work and nobody should be assigned to be a Harry Potter fan in this day and age.
So I decide to go off and find Astolat and demand she fix this but when I finally did (there was a whole quest) she turned to me like the baddie in a horror flick and said, “But that’s the most random story there is” in a dark voice and I was terrified and woke up.
In the cold light of day I know there are more random stories by me on the archive, let alone by others, but I’m not going to try to get back there to argue my case. Pretty sure whatever I spoke to was actually the demon specifically assigned to plague fandom and not Astolat at all.
I’d say “get thee behind me, demon” but I know just how many porny fics on AO3 begin with that premise. (I’ve written some.) Begone foul spirit, and take your Satanic Panic with you!
This made me laugh so hard – of all the things a sleeping mind can offer up as entertainment, poor Copperbadge was visited by a demonic Astolat impersonator.
It’s a generator that produces a link to a random work page on AO3, using a number generator in the link.
Fair warning, it turns up 404 errors pretty often, because many works have been deleted. Keep clicking, you’ll get something eventually.
Also, this is literally any work on AO3, so remember the back button and browse responsibly.
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #dreams #AO3 #memes #https://archiveofourown.org/works/2890094 #I have been assigned Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries #I’ve heard vaguely positive things about it
Cory Lee has visited 40 countries on seven continents, and yet the Georgia native has never explored Cloudland Canyon State Park, about 20 minutes from his home. His wheelchair was tough enough for the trip to Antarctica but not for the rugged terrain in his backyard.
Lee’s circumstances changed Friday, when Georgia’s Department of Natural Resources and the Aimee Copeland Foundation unveiled a fleet of all-terrain power wheelchairs for rent at 11 state parks and outdoorsy destinations, including Cloudland Canyon. The Action Trackchair models are equipped with tank-like tracks capable of traversing rocks, roots, streams and sand; clearing fallen trees; plowing through tall grass and tackling uphill climbs.
“I’ll finally be able to go on these trails for the first time in my life,” said the 32-year-old travel blogger, who shares his adventures on Curb Free with Cory Lee. “The trails are off-limits in my regular wheelchair.”
Georgia is one of the latest states to provide the Land Rover of wheelchairs to outdoor enthusiasts with mobility issues.
In 2017, Colorado Parks and Wildlife launched its Staunton State Park Track-Chair Program, which provides free adaptive equipment, though guests must pay the $10 entrance fee. Michigan’s Department of Natural Resources has placed off-road track chairs in nearly a dozen parks, including Muskegon State Park. In 2018, Lee reserved a chair at the park that boasts three miles of shoreline on Lake Michigan and Muskegon Lake. “It allowed me to have so much independence on the sand,” he said.
Brinens and Things 