wongbal:

Hello and welcome to Deep Space Nine. We are a space station, not a starship, so you’ll be spending a lot of time with all these delightful side characters like: bisexual fashion lizard. hologram of Frank Sinatra. goblins. goblin comes in 3 varieties: bartender, nephew, and idiot. our doctor is a twink, our commander is antifa and the captain talks to the gods sometimes. our policeman is sometimes a liquid and the science lady is part worm. we have many fine storylines, such as: Goblin Does A Crime, Watch The Irishman Suffer, or The Horrors Of War. As you stroll along our promenade enjoying a raktajino or delicious jumja stick, watch out for our nefarious villains: Pope Karen. clones of Jeffrey Combs. and a horny bastard reptile man who seems convinced this is actually his show. we suspect he may be possessed by demons. Have fun!

Deep Space Nine: now with Worf™!


Tags:

#Star Trek #DS9 #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #not wrong #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once

thelearnedsoldiertoo:

nonasuch:

i think the funniest possible star trek viewing order might be strictly chronological.

you’d have to start with that Voyager episode where they go to before the Big Bang, then work your way through every other time travel episode, the one with the whales, and First Contact before you even get close to anything approaching a normal viewing order.

at some point you’d have to watch “City on The Edge of Forever” followed by “Little Green Men” followed by “Far Beyond the Stars” which is about the most tonal whiplash you could possibly get from three consecutive episodes of star trek. I think I want to try this now.

I think this might actually kill you so if anyone does this, tell me if it gives you the adult equivalent of shaken baby syndrome.


Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #Star Trek #overly literal interpretations #death tw? #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once

ashkaztra:

veliseraptor:

airlocksandaviaries:

2 genres of fanfiction:

1) put that guy into situations

2) take that guy OUT of situations for the love of GOD let them REST

#3) dip him in and out like an Oreo in a tall glass of sufferings milk (via @curiosity-killed)

You put the blorbo in, you take the blorbo out, you put the blorbo in and shake him all about.


Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #fandom #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once

{{previous post in sequence}}


itsbenedict:

{{ https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_rtjtrijTIF1ro7vxh.mp4 }}

it’s one of those posts that needs to be sung.

lyrics (@syrena-of-the-lake ’s lyrics plus a few verses of my own to fill in the blanks):

It’s nine o’clock on a work night
And to my so-familiar chagrin
There’s a crack-of-dawn shift I’ve been scheduled for
So I guess it’s ‘bout time to turn in

But the foam in my mattress ain’t memory
There’s an issue that blocks my repose
‘Cause it’s real hard to sleep when you can’t hear a peep
Over ballads your bed done composed

La, la-la, di-di-da
La-la di-di-da da-dum

Sing us a song, you’re the pianobed
Both a bed and piano upright
Now you’re trapped in this mattress and melody
While Tumblr all laughs at your plight

Now Mozart and Bach, they are friends of mine
And Brahms with his sweet lullaby
But when my bed folds up tight in the dead of the night
I can’t sleep however I try

I say “Wolfgang, Johannes and Johann,
I respect all your great symphonies
But I can’t get much sleep with concertos
Being played on my head and my knees”

Oh, la, la-la, di-di-da
La-la di-di-da da-dum

The doctor says I need eight hours of sleep
This is takin’ those years off my life
And my spine needs a potion from the open-close motions
That’re treating it like a jackknife

And the torture, it’s got an accomp’niment
Not enough that it’s breaking my bones
While I’m mashed in the covers, it’s playing a cover
This bed likes the works of Tom Jones

[A familiar ditty is sung over the solo.]

Sing us a song, you’re the pianobed
Both a bed and piano upright
Now you’re trapped in this mattress and melody
While Tumblr all laughs at your plight

They let me sleep in on a Saturday
At least every once in a while
And when it gets out of tune, I can sleep until noon
A slumbering musicophile

Then the piano snaps shut, a crescendo
And the chords all resound in my ear
And it’s goodbye bedtime, and hello three-four time
And move over, Beethoven is here.

Oh, la, la-la, di-di-da
La-la di-di-da da-dum

Play us a song, you’re the pianobed
I’ll be stuck in your mattress all night
So I may as well sing to your melody
While Tumblr all laughs at my plight

[karaoke source]


Tags:

#it got better #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #music #(me: my dude have you considered getting a different bed) #(also me: you know you’re literally listening to this while #procrastinating on taking the plunge on buying a mattress that isn’t just a pile of springs) #(me: …) #((update: I have now purchased the mattress)) #((god I hope six inches of latex foam is enough; my loft bed can’t support more weight than that)) #((I guess if it isn’t I can always go back to the status quo until my brother moves out and #I have enough space for a bed without going three-dimensional)) #((and add more latex foam then)

supreme-leader-stoat:

I have a very rough idea in my head that I don’t think I can clearly articulate beyond “And that concludes tonight’s reports on German air forc—WHAT’S THIS? IT’S KING ARTHUR WITH A STEEL CHAIR

the-writers-wrench:

IDK what this is about, but I want to know more.

supreme-leader-stoat:

This isn’t exactly the same idea but it could be but there is more rattling around in here so:

  • The Blitz here manages to qualify as Britain’s Darkest Hour, thus triggering the return of Arthur from the Realm Avalon.
  • He does not speak a lick of modern English. He speaks an unholy mishmash of Brittonic and Late Classical Latin.
  • (Honestly I can see the latter becoming a plot point if they manage to get their hands on a Roman Catholic priest to act as a translator. It wouldn’t be a perfect arrangement, but probably better than anything else.)
  • Truthfully he probably gets mistaken for a madman.
  • Somehow manages to steal a Spitfire out from under the RAF’s nose, proceeds to use it to bring down like half an enemy squadron on his own, then lands in a field in the middle of nowhere.
  • Police and RAF converge on his location on account of the whole “stealing a plane” thing. They eventually overwhelm him with sheer numbers, but he manages to knock out an impressive number of them in the process. I mean, come on. It’s Arthur.

leseigneurdufeu:

“a catholic priest” i mean yeah sure why not but JRRTOLKIEN himself was alive and a teacher at the time so go big or go home.

supreme-leader-stoat:

You know what sure why not let’s just make literal real-life JRRT himself a character in this Arthurian return story, he deserves it.

chainsawsdreamer:

@seajr DUDE

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Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #Arthurian legend #story ideas I will never write #Nazi cw? #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once

nuclearspaceheater:

hjartasalt:

hjartasalt:

0038183751f7d970f103e73fbed785a12dad1ca9
a4dafdcfc73f48ee779118a8df0fd31f4e5ac320

Too tired to draw but I still need everyone to be aware of this bizarre interaction I had at work this morning

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Worth mentioning is that I’m in Iceland and the store I work at only accepts icelandic króna so like even euros wouldn’t have worked in this case

It occurs to me now that since cash registers are full Internet connected computers these days, surely they could be programmed to accept any currency and calculate appropriate change, with an exchange spread and an owner-configured Annoying Foreigner Surcharge.

Our full-Internet-connected-computer cash register *has* a foreign-exchange button, but (for some reason I am not privy to) it’s turned off. Our store policy is that we take U.S. cash at parity (with Canadian): if you want to pay a 35% Annoying Foreigner Surcharge, be our guest.

(Though I acknowledge that it makes a lot more sense to have a pre-existing policy on how to handle U.S. cash in Canada than it does in Iceland.)

(I think I had a guy hand me a USD$10 bill *once* in the several years I’ve worked here, and he was very apologetic about it and asked permission before ordering. Mostly it’s just a matter of not bothering to point it out when someone accidentally hands you an American nickel instead of a Canadian nickel.

We’re not *supposed* to accept when people accidentally give us British nickels or Jamaican dimes or something, but often cashiers don’t notice. Sometimes I’ll trade the cash register for it out of my own wallet so I can bring it home and go “hey guys, check out this neat coin we found!”.)


Tags:

#reply via reblog #in which Brin has a job #adventures in human capitalism #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #discourse cw? #embarrassment squick?

sigmaleph:

ericvilas:

sigmaleph:

i went to crunchyroll’s home page and the text was, for whatever reason, in Arabic

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I was confused about this for a moment, until i noticed the url. because, you see, when I visited crunchyroll.com they detected my IP address and helpfully redirected me to crunchyroll.com/ar/

amazing. extremely helpful.

(i can bypass this to get a language i can read by manually switching to /es/, at least. would really just rather they let me get the english version but replacing it with /en/ just gets me a 404)

8cf55cf75d7c4b1d6a7df81a8d6269066d61a4ad

wild, it doesn’t do that for me

can’t believe crunchyroll is only xenophobic against me specifically


Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(context: both of the people in this thread are Argentinian) #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #embarrassment squick? #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once