Author: Brin

~ Brin ~ 4 Comments

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brin-bellway:

redbeardace:

brin-bellway:

redbeardace:

So, I think I might actually start a secondary blog about some of the things that have been getting discussed this weekend.  I think it’s a topic worth being openly talked about, and I think it would be good to have a space specifically for that, so that people can stop worrying if what they’re talking about is appropriate and just say what they have to say.

(I also think it would be good to get the conversation off my main blog, because while I find it interesting, I’m sure it’s making a number of my followers uncomfortable.)

A couple of thoughts:

  • For aces, by aces, about aces.
  • Topics would definitely include masturbation/sex toys, including reviews/how-tos.
  • Additional topics can potentially include BDSM gear, partnered activities, talking about porn/erotic materials, and general sexual health/sex ed/anatomy, etc.  Basically anything ace people are curious about or want to discuss, but don’t feel comfortable doing it in regular ace circles.  Any other topics that should be explicitly called out?
  • Matter of fact and open, with a sense of “Yes, this is normal, yes, it’s okay to feel like that, it’s okay to do this” in most answers.  Non-judgmental and inclusive (at least inclusive of ace-ID’d people).
  • Clinical where it needs to be, fun where it needs to be.
  • Deliberately not wankfodder.  This isn’t Letters to Penthouse.
  • Open to questions from non-ace people about ace people, within limits.  This will attempt to be a safe space for aces (at least as much as it can be on this site), so anyone disrespectful, etc., will be shown the door.
  • Anon submissions/asks would be on.  18+
  • Toy pictures allowed (including anatomically accurate models), but images of toy usage/porn not allowed (including pornographic images on packaging).  Maybe use another toy as a demonstration stand in?
  • Maybe a discussion prompt once in a while?
  • I would probably need co-moderators.  Any volunteers?

A couple of concerns:

  • As I’ve learned from my “An Asexual’s Guide To …” series, any time someone talks about topics like this, you will get a lot of non-ace people wandering by and offering their, um, “thoughts”.
  • I’d like it to be findable by aces who are interested in it, but I don’t want to be intrusive to those who are not.  Are there good ways to do this?

So there it is.  Thoughts?

I’d probably read it. I might participate, depending on which topics and how far the inclusivity goes. (When it comes to conversations about sex, I always feel like I’m being Too Weird and making people uncomfortable, even in places with relatively high Weird levels. The only place I didn’t feel like I was being intrusive was Ace Fet, which vanished off the face of the Internet a couple years ago without a trace.)

I think some sort of “Safe, Legal, Respectful” principle might be a good guideline as to what’s allowed.  (Although, strictly speaking, “Legal” would probably be a bit flexible, as there are some places that outlaw the sale of “any device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs”, for instance.  Not to mention the countries that still have enforceable sodomy laws.  Things like that.)  And maybe a “Don’t yuck my yum” principle.  (The big problem is that you can’t control the audience response on Tumblr.  You can encourage and cultivate the first readers to be respectful, but after that, the “Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory” applies.  And I don’t know how to fix that.)

I think, in general, that this place would have to work against the idea that something is “weird” or “icky” or whatever.  I mean, for many people, masturbation itself is too icky to talk about.  Many people think sex toys are weird.  And that’s okay.  What’s not okay is turning that “This is not for me” into “No, you can’t have it either”.  If it’s not your thing, skip to the next post.  If none of the posts are your thing, unfollow or even block.

I think it would be good to have some of those “Too Weird” things talked about in a place that’s a safe environment, presented in a way that says “This is out there.  If you’re interested, great.  If not, maybe the next topic will be more your style.”  Sort of like a sexualized asexual 60 Minutes.  (If that makes any sense.)

@katakacat replied to this thread with:

“good idea, but what part about this is 18+??? if there’s going to be a large piece of sexual health and sex ed happening, i think it would be most effective if it’s safe for minors, the people who would be most in need of sex ed? i think? i’m not sure what you meant by 18+ but that sounds like the worst idea, the rest sounds pretty great”

Okay, so I was angry about this at first, but upon reflection I think it simply demonstrates a rift in people’s understanding of what this project is supposed to do.

See, sex ed is broad. It deals in generalities: it can, say, tell you that pornography is a thing that exists, but it won’t recommend specific pieces of erotica. (And indeed, any sex ed trying to be available to minors wouldn’t dare make such recommendations.)

I know many people who advocate for “inclusive” sex ed, but there is no such thing. Don’t get me wrong, some sex ed is less exclusive than others, but every sex education resource has to draw the line somewhere. They might discuss only the most common form of sexuality, or the top two, or the top several, but people with rare manifestations of sexuality will always be sacrificed on the altar of the greatest good for the greatest number.

I can’t contribute to a sex ed blog. When it comes to sex education, I am not and never will be a participant: I’m collateral damage. And maybe that’s worth it, but that is the price you’d be paying if you go the sex ed route.

I, on the other hand, interpreted this idea as being about a space for asexuals to discuss their sexualities. (I was going to say “the presences, rather than the absences”, but apparently some people conceive of their asexuality as a presence?) Such a space is not inherently exclusive of me. The risk is high, as I mentioned in my previous post on this reblog chain, but it could have a place for me.

@katakacat​, tagging you to make sure you get the whole post. I didn’t want to add this as an edit because then people who have already read the original might miss it.

I swear I’m going back to studying after this, but it occurred to me I didn’t make it all that clear why the non-18+ thing in particular bothered me.

IME, obscenity rules are enforced more strictly the weirder you are. Something can be considered fine when a vanilla person says it, but someone saying the analogous thing about a kink gets smacked down as inappropriate.

At my level of out-there, there is very little I would dare say in an environment trying to be safe for minors. Almost any statement, no matter how innocuous the normal-person analogue would be, risks censure and penalties.

Tags:

#reply via reblog #sexuality and lack thereof #asexuality #oh look an update #I hope I haven’t crossposted

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~ Brin ~ 2 Comments

{{previous post in sequence}}

redbeardace:

brin-bellway:

redbeardace:

So, I think I might actually start a secondary blog about some of the things that have been getting discussed this weekend.  I think it’s a topic worth being openly talked about, and I think it would be good to have a space specifically for that, so that people can stop worrying if what they’re talking about is appropriate and just say what they have to say.

(I also think it would be good to get the conversation off my main blog, because while I find it interesting, I’m sure it’s making a number of my followers uncomfortable.)

A couple of thoughts:

  • For aces, by aces, about aces.
  • Topics would definitely include masturbation/sex toys, including reviews/how-tos.
  • Additional topics can potentially include BDSM gear, partnered activities, talking about porn/erotic materials, and general sexual health/sex ed/anatomy, etc.  Basically anything ace people are curious about or want to discuss, but don’t feel comfortable doing it in regular ace circles.  Any other topics that should be explicitly called out?
  • Matter of fact and open, with a sense of “Yes, this is normal, yes, it’s okay to feel like that, it’s okay to do this” in most answers.  Non-judgmental and inclusive (at least inclusive of ace-ID’d people).
  • Clinical where it needs to be, fun where it needs to be.
  • Deliberately not wankfodder.  This isn’t Letters to Penthouse.
  • Open to questions from non-ace people about ace people, within limits.  This will attempt to be a safe space for aces (at least as much as it can be on this site), so anyone disrespectful, etc., will be shown the door.
  • Anon submissions/asks would be on.  18+
  • Toy pictures allowed (including anatomically accurate models), but images of toy usage/porn not allowed (including pornographic images on packaging).  Maybe use another toy as a demonstration stand in?
  • Maybe a discussion prompt once in a while?
  • I would probably need co-moderators.  Any volunteers?

A couple of concerns:

  • As I’ve learned from my “An Asexual’s Guide To …” series, any time someone talks about topics like this, you will get a lot of non-ace people wandering by and offering their, um, “thoughts”.
  • I’d like it to be findable by aces who are interested in it, but I don’t want to be intrusive to those who are not.  Are there good ways to do this?

So there it is.  Thoughts?

I’d probably read it. I might participate, depending on which topics and how far the inclusivity goes. (When it comes to conversations about sex, I always feel like I’m being Too Weird and making people uncomfortable, even in places with relatively high Weird levels. The only place I didn’t feel like I was being intrusive was Ace Fet, which vanished off the face of the Internet a couple years ago without a trace.)

I think some sort of “Safe, Legal, Respectful” principle might be a good guideline as to what’s allowed.  (Although, strictly speaking, “Legal” would probably be a bit flexible, as there are some places that outlaw the sale of “any device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs”, for instance.  Not to mention the countries that still have enforceable sodomy laws.  Things like that.)  And maybe a “Don’t yuck my yum” principle.  (The big problem is that you can’t control the audience response on Tumblr.  You can encourage and cultivate the first readers to be respectful, but after that, the “Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory” applies.  And I don’t know how to fix that.)

I think, in general, that this place would have to work against the idea that something is “weird” or “icky” or whatever.  I mean, for many people, masturbation itself is too icky to talk about.  Many people think sex toys are weird.  And that’s okay.  What’s not okay is turning that “This is not for me” into “No, you can’t have it either”.  If it’s not your thing, skip to the next post.  If none of the posts are your thing, unfollow or even block.

I think it would be good to have some of those “Too Weird” things talked about in a place that’s a safe environment, presented in a way that says “This is out there.  If you’re interested, great.  If not, maybe the next topic will be more your style.”  Sort of like a sexualized asexual 60 Minutes.  (If that makes any sense.)

@katakacat replied to this thread with:

“good idea, but what part about this is 18+??? if there’s going to be a large piece of sexual health and sex ed happening, i think it would be most effective if it’s safe for minors, the people who would be most in need of sex ed? i think? i’m not sure what you meant by 18+ but that sounds like the worst idea, the rest sounds pretty great”

Okay, so I was angry about this at first, but upon reflection I think it simply demonstrates a rift in people’s understanding of what this project is supposed to do.

See, sex ed is broad. It deals in generalities: it can, say, tell you that pornography is a thing that exists, but it won’t recommend specific pieces of erotica. (And indeed, any sex ed trying to be available to minors wouldn’t dare make such recommendations.)

I know many people who advocate for “inclusive” sex ed, but there is no such thing. Don’t get me wrong, some sex ed is less exclusive than others, but every sex education resource has to draw the line somewhere. They might discuss only the most common form of sexuality, or the top two, or the top several, but people with rare manifestations of sexuality will always be sacrificed on the altar of the greatest good for the greatest number.

I can’t contribute to a sex ed blog. When it comes to sex education, I am not and never will be a participant: I’m collateral damage. And maybe that’s worth it, but that is the price you’d be paying if you go the sex ed route.

I, on the other hand, interpreted this idea as being about a space for asexuals to discuss their sexualities. (I was going to say “the presences, rather than the absences”, but apparently some people conceive of their asexuality as a presence?) Such a space is not inherently exclusive of me. The risk is high, as I mentioned in my previous post on this reblog chain, but it could have a place for me.

[addendum here]

Tags:

#reply via reblog #sexuality and lack thereof #asexuality

{{next post in sequence}}

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

redbeardace:

So, I think I might actually start a secondary blog about some of the things that have been getting discussed this weekend.  I think it’s a topic worth being openly talked about, and I think it would be good to have a space specifically for that, so that people can stop worrying if what they’re talking about is appropriate and just say what they have to say.

(I also think it would be good to get the conversation off my main blog, because while I find it interesting, I’m sure it’s making a number of my followers uncomfortable.)

A couple of thoughts:

  • For aces, by aces, about aces.
  • Topics would definitely include masturbation/sex toys, including reviews/how-tos.
  • Additional topics can potentially include BDSM gear, partnered activities, talking about porn/erotic materials, and general sexual health/sex ed/anatomy, etc.  Basically anything ace people are curious about or want to discuss, but don’t feel comfortable doing it in regular ace circles.  Any other topics that should be explicitly called out?
  • Matter of fact and open, with a sense of “Yes, this is normal, yes, it’s okay to feel like that, it’s okay to do this” in most answers.  Non-judgmental and inclusive (at least inclusive of ace-ID’d people).
  • Clinical where it needs to be, fun where it needs to be.
  • Deliberately not wankfodder.  This isn’t Letters to Penthouse.
  • Open to questions from non-ace people about ace people, within limits.  This will attempt to be a safe space for aces (at least as much as it can be on this site), so anyone disrespectful, etc., will be shown the door.
  • Anon submissions/asks would be on.  18+
  • Toy pictures allowed (including anatomically accurate models), but images of toy usage/porn not allowed (including pornographic images on packaging).  Maybe use another toy as a demonstration stand in?
  • Maybe a discussion prompt once in a while?
  • I would probably need co-moderators.  Any volunteers?

A couple of concerns:

  • As I’ve learned from my “An Asexual’s Guide To …” series, any time someone talks about topics like this, you will get a lot of non-ace people wandering by and offering their, um, “thoughts”.
  • I’d like it to be findable by aces who are interested in it, but I don’t want to be intrusive to those who are not.  Are there good ways to do this?

So there it is.  Thoughts?

I’d probably read it. I might participate, depending on which topics and how far the inclusivity goes. (When it comes to conversations about sex, I always feel like I’m being Too Weird and making people uncomfortable, even in places with relatively high Weird levels. The only place I didn’t feel like I was being intrusive was Ace Fet, which vanished off the face of the Internet a couple years ago without a trace.)

Tags:

#sexuality and lack thereof #reply via reblog #asexuality

{{next post in sequence}}

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

kira-katrine:

q: hey helm boy

tom paris: what

q: if, hypothetically, you wanted to get kathryn janeway to mate with you and have your babies

q: how might you go about that

tom paris:

tom paris: you don’t want to know

Tags:

#Star Trek #Voyager #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog

Image ~ ~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

lferion:

erinnightwalker:

erinnightwalker:

geostatonary:

sixpenceee:

“A house I pass on the way to work has this sculpture in its yard. Its about 8 feet tall.”

(Source)

“HELLO NEIGHBOR STEVE, I WOULD LIKE TO INVITE YOU TO BARBEQUE ON THE EVE OF THE BLOOD MOON.  I FEEL WE GOT OFF TO A BAD START.”

“NEIGHBOR STEVE, DO YOU NOT WISH TO PARTAKE OF THE UNCLEAN FLESH-MEATS OF PIGS AND THE POLLUTED ESSENCES OF TOMATO?  PERHAPS YOU ARE A CAROLINA STYLE MAN, NEIGHBOR STEVE?”

“PUT THE GUN AWAY NEIGHBOR STEVE, YOU KNOW I SHALL ONLY RISE AGAIN WITH THE DAWNING OF THE MOON.  WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS MANY TIMES.”

“LOOK AT THIS PICTURE MY SON DREW OF YOU AND CHILD TIMMY, YOUR SON.  ARE THEY NOT THE PICTURE OF PACT-MATES?  THIS COULD BE YOU AND ME, NEIGHBOR STEVE.”

“YOU MISSED THE UNHOLY NEXUS OF POWER THAT IS THE KEY TO MY CORPOREAL FORM, NEIGHBOR STEVE.  YOU WILL NEED TO RELOAD NOW, SO I WILL GO INSIDE TO MY HELL-WIFE AND PUT YOU DOWN AS A SOLID ‘MAYBE’.“

I have the feeling that the families get along great except for Steve. Like, the wives are baking (questionable) brownies together, the kids are playing together, Antler Guy occasionally takes Son and Timmy to school (no car, just carries them in huge swinging strides through a nexus of ungoldly sights in a swirling netherworld shortcut. Sometimes they stop for McDonalds). Hell-wife gave them a potted Audrey Jr., Steve’s wife (who I now christen Sharon) gave them a begonia.

One time Steve tries throwing holy water but all Antler Guy does is thank him, saying that no, Antler Guy isn’t Catholic but it’s the thought that counts, he is so kind to water his creeping deathshade vines regardless.

For Christmas Antler Guy gives Steve a case of ammunition. To be funny/sarcastically mean Steve gets Antler Guy the world’s most hideous Christmas sweater, singing light-up reindeer included. He immediately regrets it because not only does Antler Guy love it and wears it for several months, it will never need batteries because Antler Guy powers it with his own eldritch aura.

When they come back from a holiday to Hawaii, Steve is horrified to find out Sharon bought them matching Hawaiian shirts. He is even more horrified that his wife means it that if he doesn’t wear it he will forever sleep on the couch.

I want to expand on this, since I see it’s still passing around and the ideas have grown in my brainmeats.

What drives Steve up the wall and down the other side is how… normal… everyone treats the Abominations. (Yes, that is their last name. No, it is not a joke. Son was asked his last name for the standardized testing at school, had a quick conference with Timmy, and decided that Son Abomination sounded good, “Since my dad calls your dad the Abomination anyway and we can paint it on your mailbox just like the Henderson’s did theirs!”. Antler Guy agreed and did a lovely rendition of it for the mailbox, with only a few glyphs of soul-rending terror added to keep up to snuff.)

The Great Plant Exchange went beautifully, though the Audrey Jr. (named Aubergine for the lovely shade of purple poison that drips from her fangs) is on a diet at the moment. She was in cahoots with the cat and the dog to get into the good people food and ate two frozen turkeys all herself. Now she’s restricted to the hallway table to answer the phone and the door. (Steve actually likes her, and keeps slipping her hotdogs when Sharon isn’t looking. Their door-to-door salesman rates have dropped dramatically since she changed abodes.) Hell-wife has almost gotten the begonia to bloom and say it’s first words.

The homeowner’s association just loves the Abominations. All paperwork stamped and dotted, in on time and in triplicate. Antler Guy likes filing, says it reminds him of his old job. There is a resident who spent 20 years as a lawyer and they have long, animated conversations about all sorts of things that make Steve swear to never need legal counsel.

Hell-wife joined the PTA and spearheaded a committee to fundraise in the fall with a haunted house. It was a county-wide hit, though the claims that a particularly rowdy group had been deliberately lost in a timeslip to the Outer Doors Of Chaos was firmly rebuffed. Most young people nowadays, it was agreed, just couldn’t appreciate flute music.

Antler Guy really does try to connect with Steve. The surprise birthday party was perhaps a bit much, given that most participants do not have the ability to suddenly materialize in front of the guest of honor to give them a hug. Sharon assured them that Steve normally screams on his birthday, and the remains of the cake were heartily enjoyed by all. (A plate was saved for Steve once he came down from the treehouse.)

After the Hawaii trip (which was a present for his birthday) and the Matching Shirt Ultimatum (which was Sharon’s attempt at patching things up with Antler Guy, he really was sad about the birthday screaming), Steve finally grabs his courage in both hands (plus the shotgun, which let’s face it is about as useful as a teddybear at the moment but it does comfort him) and confronts Antler Guy, about why such a group of……Abominations could possibly come to his quiet slice of suburban bliss.

“……BUT NEIGHBOR STEVE, WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE.”

“No no no, I read it in a book! Don’t you have to be invited or something?!”

“WELL YES, TO THE HUMAN WORLD. BUT THIS IS NOT THE HUMAN WORLD AS YOUR THREE-DIMENSIONAL BRAIN PERCEIVES IT.”

“What the hell does that mean?!!”

“DID YOU NOT KNOW, NEIGHBOR STEVE? LEGALLY SPEAKING, ALL OF THE VASTNESS OF HUMAN SUBURBIA IS, IN FACT, A PART OF HELL.”

“……..”

“THE FLAMINGOES ARE THE BOUNDARY MARKERS. IT WAS DECIDED THAT THE FLAMING SKULLS WERE TOO KITSCHY FOR MODERN TIMES.”

Yuletide inspiration, anyone?

Tags:

#Neighbor Steve #long post #story ideas I will never write #oh look an update

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

prokopetz:

Random Headcanon: That Federation vessels in Star Trek seem to experience bizarre malfunctions with such overwhelming frequency isn’t just an artefact of the television serial format. Rather, it’s because the Federation as a culture are a bunch of deranged hyper-neophiles, tooling around in ships packed full of beyond-cutting-edge tech they don’t really understand. Endlessly frustrating if you have to fight them, because they can pull an effectively unlimited number of bullshit space-magic countermeasures out of their arses – but they’re as likely as not to give themselves a lethal five-dimensional wedgie in the process. All those rampant holograms and warp core malfunctions and accidentally-traveling-back-in-time incidents? That doesn’t actually happen to anyone else; it’s literally just Federation vessels that go off the rails like that. And they do so on a fairly regular basis.

 

writebastard:

So to everyone else in the galaxy, all humans are basically Doc Brown.

Doc Brown: Human Scientist

 

prokopetz:

Aliens who have seen the Back to the Future movies literally don’t realise that Doc Brown is meant to be funny. They’re just like “yes, that is exactly what all human scientists are like in my experience”.

 

roachpatrol:

THE ONLY REASON SCOTTY IS CHIEF ENGINEER INSTEAD OF SOMEONE FROM A SPECIES WITH A HIGHER TECHNOLOGICAL APTITUDE IS BECAUSE EVERYONE FROM THOSE SPECIES TOOK ONE LOOK AT THE ENTERPRISE’S ENGINE ROOM AND RAN AWAY SCREAMING

 

roachpatrol:

vulcan science academy: why do you need another warp core

humans: we’re going to plug two of them together and see if we go twice as fast

vsa: last time we gave you a warp core you threw it into a sun to see if the sun would go twice as fast

humans: hahaha yeah

humans: it did tho

vsa: IT EXPLODED

humans: it exploded twice as fast

 

froborr:

I love this. Especially because of how well it plays with my headcanon that the Federation does so much better against the Borg than anyone else because beating the Borg with military tactics is nigh-impossible, but beating them with wacky superscience shenanigans works as long as they’re unique wacky superscience shenanigans.

 

megabeeprime:

Yeah, I love this.

 

underscorex:

Reminds me of the thing I wrote a while back about Humans in high fantasy realms – they’re basically Team Fuck It Hold My Beer I Got This.

Impulsive, passionate to a fault, the social structures they build to try and regulate this hotheadedness ironically creates even greater levels of sheer bull-headedness. Even their “cooler” heads take action in months or weeks.

All their great heroes of the past were impossibly rash by galactic standards. Humans Just Go With It, which is their great flaw but also their greatest strength.

 

roachpatrol:

klingons: okay we don’t get it

vulcan science academy: get what

klingons: you vulcans are a bunch of stuffy prisses but you’re also tougher, stronger, and smarter than humans in every single way

klingons: why do you let them run your federation

vulcan science academy: look

vulcan science academy: this is a species where if you give them two warp cores they don’t do experiments on one and save the other for if the first one blows up

vulcan science academy: this is a species where if you give them two warp cores, they will ask for a third one, immediately plug all three into each other, punch a hole into an alternate universe where humans subscribe to an even more destructive ideological system, fight everyone in it because they’re offended by that, steal their warp cores, plug those together, punch their way back here, then try to turn a nearby sun into a torus because that was what their initial scientific experiment was for and they didn’t want to waste a trip. 

vulcan science academy: they did that last week. we have the write-up right here. it’s getting published in about six hundred scientific journals across two hundred different disciplines because of how many established theories their ridiculous little expedition has just called into question. also, they did turn that sun into a torus, and no one actually knows how. 

vulcan science academy: this is why we let them do whatever the hell they want. 

klingons: …. can we be a part of your federation

 

the-real-seebs:

Come to think of it, I mean. Look at the “first human warp drive” thing in the movie. That was… Not how Vulcans would have done it.

 

dragon-in-a-fez:

you know what the best evidence for this is? Deep Space 9 almost never broke down. minor malfunctions that irritated O’Brien to hell and back, sure, but almost none of the truly weird shit that befell Voyager and all the starships Enterprise. what was the weirdest malfunction DS9 ever had? the senior staff getting trapped as holosuite characters in Our Man Bashir, and that was because a human decided to just dump the transporter buffer into the station’s core memory and hope everything would work out somehow, which is a bit like swapping your computer’s hard drive out for a memory card from a PlayStation 2 and expecting to be able to play a game of Spyro the Dragon with your keyboard and mouse.

 

dragon-in-a-fez:

you know what, I’m not done with this post. let’s talk about the Pegasus. the USS Fucking Pegasus, testbed for the first Starfleet cloaking device. here we have a handful of humans working in secret to develop a cloaking device in violation of a treaty with the Romulans. they’re playing catchup trying to develop a technology other species have had for a century. and what do they do? do they decide to duplicate a Romulan cloaking device precisely, just see if they can match what other species have? nope. they decide, hey, while we’re at it, while we’re building our very first one of these things, just to find out if this is possible, let’s see if we can make this thing phase us out of normal space so we can fly through planets while we’re invisible.

“but why” said the one Vulcan in the room.

“because that would fucking rule” said the humans, high fiving each other and slamming cans of 24th-century Red Bull.

there must be like twenty different counselling groups for non-human engineering students at Starfleet Academy, and every week in every single one of them someone walks in and starts up with a story like “our assignment was to repair a phaser emitter and my one human classmate built a chronometric-flux toaster that toasts bread after you’ve eaten it.”

 

ciiriianan:

Humans get mildly offended by the way they are presented in non-human media.

Like: “Guys, we totally wouldn’t do that!” But this always fails to get much traction, because the authors can always say: “You totally did.”

“That was ONE TIME.” 

There’s that movie where humans invented vaccines by just testing them on people. Or the one about those two humans who invented powered flight by crashing a bunch of prototypes. Or the one about electricity. 

And human historians go, “Oh, uh, this is historically accurate, but also kind of boring.” To which the producers respond: “How is doing THIS CRAZY THING boring????????”

There are entire serieses of horror movies where the premise is “We stopped paying attention to the human and ey found the technology.”

 

theotherguysride:

reblog for new meta. 

RE that last line: McGuyver. 

 

deadcatwithaflamethrower:

“MacGuyver” is the equivalent of Vulcan vintage human horror television.

 

roachpatrol:

during orientation at a human college, vulcans are presented with a list of swear words. 

“what is the word ‘fuck’ for,” the innocent young vulcans want to know. “surely there are more logical intensity modifiers.”

“yeah, you’d think so,” say the weary, jaded vulcan professors. “you’d really fucking think so.”

there is a phrase in vulcan for ‘the particular moment you understand what the word ‘fuck’ is for’. 

Tags:

#Star Trek #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #long post #(IIRC Romulan warp drives actually produce temporal anomalies as a side effect) #(so it’s not just humans who get into weird shit all the time) #(but anyway)

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

ilzolende:

thetransintransgenic:

So I haven’t thought about it in AGES, but did anyone else grow up with Muse Magazine? That there was, like, a fundamental part of my childhood.

I did! It was good. Also Odyssey and Cricket and other stuff by the same people.

Yes! Muse was great. I still have a bookshelf full of back issues I saved over the years.

These days I use Daily Planet and science blogs to scratch that itch, since they’re a lot cheaper, but still.

(One time I sent a letter, and they actually published it in the “letters to the editor” section. I was very surprised and kind of weirded out: all I really did was complain about [minor error redacted]*, why would they bother publishing that? My parents were so proud and showed it to everyone we knew, and it was embarrassing.)

*I’m tempted to be more specific about it and just figure that anyone who manages to work out my name given only that information is welcome to it, but nah.

Tags:

#reply via reblog #Muse #my childhood #the power of science

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

dagny-hashtaggart:

theaudientvoid:

aeondeug:

lavabendinggemqueen:

writing-prompt-s:

Cthulhu, as an eldritch being, sees humans as humans see insects; which is to say, harmless but inexplicably terrifying.

#cthulhu chasing humanity around with a shoe while crying

I’m going to give Cthulhu malaria.

Cthulhu, the first true effective altruist.

Well, “Effective Altruist” and “Eldritch Abomination” do have the same abbreviations. Coincidence?

Tags:

#Lovecraft #bugs #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(”I’m going to give Cthulhu malaria”) #illness tw #sort of

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

bookelfe:

This past weekend, several friends and I got to talking about the King Arthur police precedural that Fox is allegedly developing. I only mention this because over the course of this conversation we realized that the ONLY modern-King-Arthur television show that Fox should really be developing is a hilarious reincarnation-based office sitcom, and now I can’t stop thinking about it, so I am going to tell you all about this imaginary sitcom in EXCRUCIATING DETAIL.

My imaginary workplace sitcom is about a struggling nonprofit organization and is probably written by the people who wrote Parks and Rec and Brooklyn 99. Accordingly, it stars Retta and Melissa Fumero:

imageKing Arthur Sitcom 1

as Alice and Pam, OFFICE NEMESIS battling nonprofit burnout! and each other!

….UNTIL, in the first episode, they start having flashbacks and eventually realize: they are the reincarnations of, respectively, King Arthur and Lancelot, they are destined to fight evil while being devoted to each other in an epic and legendary way, and weekly budget meetings just got really weird!

Every episode alternates between flashbacks to Round Table efforts to fight evil, provide justice, build a better and more stable society, etc., and current-day office hijinks as the nonprofit attempts to do the same, but with much more paperwork.

As a sidenote, all the flashbacks initially have placeholder white guy actors doing ye olde British accents and speaking forsoothly, except for the person having the flashback, who plays themselves. Once Alice and Pam recognize each other at the end of the first episode, however, every flashback features Retta and Melissa Fumero talking exactly like they would in the office while wearing shining armor.

The rest of the placeholder actors gradually get replaced by actual cast members as further reincarnation reveals occur,

including:

– Donald Glover as the reincarnation of Sir Gawain, ladies’ man and too-cool-for-school tech bro, who’s the only person who knows how to keep the website running!

{{broken image}}

– Rahul Kohli as the noble reincarnation of King Pellinore, the development manager who is constantly questing after very worthy but COMPLETELY UNATTAINABLE grants!

image

– Yael Grobglas as the reincarnation of Sir Kay, the long-suffering and sarcastic office business manager who must always be the one to point out they don’t have enough money for their pet project!

image

– Sandra Oh as the director’s PA, the only person who knows where everything is and keeps the office running and everybody from murdering each other; she of course turns out to be Guinevere!

image

– and, of course, Jaime Camil as Merlin, the director of the nonprofit, who has been gathering all the Round Table reincarnations together for world-saving purposes all this while!

King Arthur Sitcom 2

Merlin is not reincarnated, for the record. Merlin is just Merlin. This is why Merlin is very good at magic and WILDLY INCOMPETENT at being the director of a nonprofit organization.

Sample episodes include:

– the episode where everyone is rushing to meet a grant deadline, with flashbacks to PREPARING FOR BATTLE AGAINST THE ROMANS

– the team retreat episode in which Merlin insists everybody do trust falls; in flashbacks, Merlin also insists everybody do trust falls

– the episode in which Donald Glover has to go through ludicrous hoops to install a new open-source software, intercut with the story of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight

– the mid-season love triangle episode, in which a.) the reveal of who is Guinevere, b.) the reveal that Lancelot and Arthur were way more than good buddies, and c.) THE MOST AWKWARD OFFICE MEETINGS YET, FOR EVERYONE

ok so who wants to fund my sitcom now

Tags:

#story ideas I will never write #long post #Arthurian legend #reincarnation