In Canada, we’re famous for our bilingualism. Sure, there’s other bilingual countries out there. Some might even be tri- or quadrilingual. We don’t know, and our media doesn’t tell us. All we do know is that when you pick up a cereal box from the shelf, you get to learn what the French name of the cereal is. It’s Cheerios. Couldn’t have guessed that.
All this means that, throughout your life in Anglo Canada, you are constantly getting a subliminal reinforcement of French. One day, you discover that you can actually read a reasonable amount of the microwave installation instructions despite having pulled the wrong manual out of the box. Shortly after that, you begin to feel a curiosity for this mysterious other culture. And by that, I mean you want to go buy a French car.
Unfortunately for me and my fellow Canucks, options for French cars are few and far between. The overwhelming hegemony of the Americans mean that the absolute weirdest stuff we get is made in Romania under contract to Germans using Japanese robots. Why do we not have Citroëns? There is no valid reason, other than the fact that they went nearly bankrupt the last time they tried to sell their cars here. That’s not supposed to discourage you, silly, General Motors has gone bankrupt three or four times while I’ve been writing these sentences!
So, if you’re out there, French automakers, please bring your weird cars to my country. We can go get a steamé and a Pepsi, and we can find out if the interior of your car holds up well to poutine gravy stains. It probably doesn’t, but that’s okay, I’ll still take the depreciated Francomobile and enjoy opulent luxury comfort on my way back to my home province, where the only French we use is to incorrectly pronounce the phrase “croissaint-wich” at the airport Burger King.
Tags:
#our home and cherished land #language #storytime #this is exactly what living in Canada is like #the signs at the airport are like ”n’oubliez pas oú est votre voiture!” and you’re like ”okay‚ sure‚ I won’t– wait” #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
Brinens and Things 