Brinens and Things

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the rodents of unusual size in princess bride should have just been like. a capybara. i’m not suggesting wesley should have fought a capybara, i’m saying they should have been terrified of the prospect of encountering one and then they see it off in the distance in the dark and they’re like “OH NO” and it’s just sitting there like (^-__-^) and buttercup is like “it’s cute. maybe it’s harmless?” and wesley is like “NO. the myths” and ominous music plays under a slow zoom on the capybara’s face while they carefully edge their way around it and it’s just sitting there like (^-__-^) the whole time. then they breathe a sigh of relief and immediately fall into quicksand. thank you. other than reintroducing the chapter on hats, this is the only change i would make and comprises the entirety of my princess bride script doctor

this – and this is crucial – is still immediately preceded by the line “i don’t think they exist”