People say that you should really do something out of your comfort zone. Why? I worked very hard to find my comfort zone. It was really rough and I can’t even get there that often. Takes all day and I gotta get off to a good start and do all the right things and avoid the right people and find all the right people and do all of these things to find my comfort zone. And then I’m supposed to do something outside of my – Fuck you! You do something outside your comfort zone. My comfort zone is hard-won….

But then, that’s where popular culture and pop psych comes in and wants – and the shtick I was looking at last night was that like, so, if it’s ‘afraid’, then, ‘You should do the things you’re afraid of’. Why? Why? I have felt quite enough fear. I don’t think I will benefit from more fear. I don’t think it’s the missing element in my life. I don’t think that’s the thing I need to be seeking out. ‘Go to the places that scare you.’ No! I have carved out an awesome space in which I don’t have to visit the places that scare me. I don’t like them there. I’ve been there. I know more about them than you, person telling me to go to the places that scare me.

John Darnielle, 2014-04-19 and 2014-04-20 at the Old Town School of Folk Music, Chicago ( track 18 in https://archive.org/details/tmg2014-04-19.oldtown.flac16 and track 21 in https://archive.org/details/tmg2014-04-20)


#I read a thing recently about a free-solo climber #and when they asked why he did it he was like #”I don’t want to just be happy and cozy‚ anyone can be happy and cozy‚ I want more than that” #and I was like what the fuck are you talking about #happy-and-cozy is one of the hardest things there is #you can spend a lifetime striving for it and catch only fleeting glimpses #I don’t understand skydivers and bungee-jumpers and all of that shit #they’re like ”it makes me feel alive” and I’m like ”…no‚ not alive‚ the *other* thing” #how can you be *happy* if you don’t even feel *safe*? #tag rambles #anxiety #death mention #101 Uses for Infrastructureless Computers #and I’ll also add: #people who can distinguish between their drive for sleep and drive for sex fascinate me #my mind is complicated but is also *coherent* #everything feeds into everything else and I can see how these aspects feed into each other #(and indeed I once wrote a to-hell-with-leaving-my-comfort-zone post that was *specifically* in a sexual context)

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