eternalfarnham: Y’know what this world needs more of?
eternalfarnham: Themed restaurants.
maxiesatanofficial: Oh?
maxiesatanofficial: You have any theme in particular in mind?
eternalfarnham: Honestly, yeah — people go for “sinfully decadent” food, but no one ever carries that to its logical conclusion, you know?
eternalfarnham: That is to say, hell-themed restaurants.
maxiesatanofficial: Gluttony being the obvious section, of course, which would just be “huge portions.”
maxiesatanofficial: Wrath could have you contribute to the prep yourself – giving you a baked potato to mash, or uncooked food to sear, or something…
maxiesatanofficial: Though the latter might raise legal concerns.
eternalfarnham: Lust is all bananas and oysters and chocolate, supposed aphrodisiacs and “suggestive” food.
maxiesatanofficial: Hm, well.
maxiesatanofficial: I would actually point out that lust in the traditional sense *isn’t* limited to sex!
maxiesatanofficial: Any sufficiently “indulgent” or “rich” food would qualify, imo.
maxiesatanofficial: A matter of quality rather than gluttony’s quantity.
maxiesatanofficial: Greed is presumably gold flake and the like? Conspicuous consumption-y and/or presentation-focused stuff?
eternalfarnham: Fair enough — I guess I’ve been thinking of it in terms of Dante’s Inferno rather than broader definitions of the sin.
maxiesatanofficial: While Pride would be yer health foods.
eternalfarnham: Of course. And Sloth… maybe a bunch of pre-prepared snacks.
eternalfarnham: Stuff that takes very little effort to prepare /and/ eat.
maxiesatanofficial: Sensible.
maxiesatanofficial: …Envy is just you paying for the right to eat other people’s food.
maxiesatanofficial: It costs slightly more than double, so that they can still eat without having to pay more.
maxiesatanofficial: (But they still have to wait for their replacement portion to be prepared.)
eternalfarnham: “‘Scuse me, I ordered the Green-Eyed Platter, which is yours.”
eternalfarnham: And for parties, I’m picturing, like, special party meals based on the Inferno — like, for small parties or if you’re not all that hungry, you might get the Limbo Special for the virtuous pagans, right?
eternalfarnham: Just for appetizers and finger-foods.
maxiesatanofficial: Ha. I can dig it.
eternalfarnham: Whereas the dessert special is all ice cream from the lowest levels, with the head of the table getting the Satan Sundae.
eternalfarnham: And in the middle, I’m thinking — for the falsifiers, traitors, etc. — you’ve got, like, really complex, hot Italian food, since, y’know, Dante — and that was the section where he stopped /pitying/ the sinners, people say.
eternalfarnham: Like, he liked the people in lust and gluttony, etc., a little more, because he felt that sins committed from love rather than malice weren’t so awful.
eternalfarnham: At least, I think I’ve read that somewhere.
maxiesatanofficial: Huh, ‘zat so? Interesting.
eternalfarnham: Mind you, he defined “heresy” as an active, malicious sin.
eternalfarnham: But anyway — I figure if you want Italian, you say “We’d like the City of Hell Special,” and the waiter says “That’s our patented specialty.”
eternalfarnham: “Oh?” “Yeah, it’s the Dis course™!”
maxiesatanofficial: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
maxiesatanofficial: YOU *FUCKER*
maxiesatanofficial: YOU FUCKING SACK OF GARBAGE I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS
maxiesatanofficial: I’M NOT OWNED
eternalfarnham: ;)
maxiesatanofficial: YOU PLAYED *RIGHT* TO MY WEAKNESSES
maxiesatanofficial: AAAAAAAA
eternalfarnham: i am chortling hard
Tags:
#puns #I’ve seen enough of @itsbenedict’s ”basketball games” that #I figured out it was one long lead-up to a pun only *most* of the way through #although the hell-themed restaurant is a genuinely interesting idea #food cw?
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