ilzolende:

writtenrain:

• Why stop at capitalism? Destroy everything.
  
  
• Guys it’s been three weeks since I’ve eaten a vegetable
  
  
• At least we have memes to dull the pain of existence
  
  
• An AP student: Oh my god I thought seven was less than six 
  
  
• (while filling the cap of their water bottle with water) SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS 
  
  
• friend one: If all your friends jumped off a bridge wou-
  friend two: probably
  
  
• I’M GONNA GO HOME AND DRINK A WHOLE GLASS OF WEED
  
  
• If cows ruled the world would they drink human milk?
  
  
• student: my calculator is broken
  teacher: your calculator isn’t broken, you’re broken
  
  
• no actually I think you have to be of age to be considered a cougar
  
  
• (during math class on the second floor) student 1: so like how far do you think the distance is from that window to the ground?  
  student 2: enough
  
  
• teacher: has anyone ever been to New Orleans?
  Student: does Popeyes count?
  
  
• my word count on this paper isn’t very high but I certainly am
  
  
• we’re in adult limbo. I’m not a teen and I’m not an adult. I’M SUFFERING, THAT’S WHAT I AM!
  
  
• Look at my… (swings leg up to show shorts) not pants

• Person Alison and I have nicknamed “Elsa”, despite him being male: brings in a USSR playground song about WWIII for history, translates it before Physics starts
• The group I occasionally have played D&D with was carrying one of its members, for no clear reason, and handing him from person to person. They said they were playing “Pass the Bob(pseudonym)”. Bob looked mostly nonplussed about this.
• Black-market potato chip vendors raising money for college
• While waiting in one of the many lines for graduation, Bob starts humming. I ask him what he’s humming, and he tells me it’s the Russian national anthem. I start humming along. We get Elsa to actually sing it for us.

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#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog