Mum: …And then you have to move all the stakes around in the sauce so that the flavour gets distributed evenly.
Me: What’s with this talk of “even distribution”? That’s Communism! Do you want us to get invaded again?
Mum: Yeah, yeah. Just keep turning them. Move the ones on the bottom to the top.
Me: For how long? How long must we indulge these revolutionaries?
Mum: For as long as possible. The ideal would be permanent revolution, but I think 10 minutes should suffice.
Me: *takes an icepick out of the draw and brandishes it* You take that back, you Trotskyite!
Mum: *rolls eyes*
Me: Ugh. Why do I even care if the flavour is evenly distributed?
Mum: Because you never know which piece of meat you’re going to get.
Me: ….That is the sanest argument for economic leftism I’ve heard all year.
Mum: Alison, it’s the second of January.
Me: Well, yeah. It’s just that the leftists were hung over yesterday from celebrating the long-awaited overthrow of 2015.
…one wonders why a resident of [Redacted] has an icepick, and in the event that a different object was used, what said object was.
….We have icepicks for breaking ice. Like, I know we’re poor, but did you think we didn’t have freezers?
Oh, is that how people with one freezer get rid of condensation buildup? In my family, we eat enough of the frozen food that the remainder fits into the freezer not being de-iced, turn the freezer being de-iced off, put a bunch of towels in front of the open door to catch the water, and let it melt.
(Mind you, only our secondary freezer gets significant ice buildup. The primary freezer seems immune. If we only owned the primary, freezer ice buildup wouldn’t even occur to me.)
(Owning multiple freezers is a big help for anyone aiming to be on the good end of Vimes Boot Theory (specifically the “buying food in bulk” manifestation), and I recommend it to anyone who can pull it off.)
Tags:
#reply via reblog #actually we own *three* freezers now #but we haven’t had Tertiary Freezer long enough to know if it gets ice buildup #(our friends’ new landlord foisted an old filthy freezer on them) #(and they were like ‘we’ll give it to you for free just please get rid of it it’s disgusting’) #((to be fair it *was* pretty disgusting)) #(my parents managed to clean it up and it’s pretty much fine now) #we’ve had very good fortune when it comes to freezers
Brinens and Things 
3 thoughts on “Revolutionary Cooking Methods”