Boyfriend: And then they buried him, and the women were very sad because he had a rockin’ bod.
Boyfriend: And then there was much mourning, and Judas, his ex, was sad, because he had a rockin’ bod.
Boyfriend: And thus three days and nights had passed, and the Romans partied pretty hard, but everyone else had some regrets.
Boyfriend: And on the third day, they did say unto the Lord’s Angel, Where the hell is this dude’s corpse?
Boyfriend: And the Angel said, He is not here. He has risen.
Boyfriend: And the women were like, Fuck you, dude, this is why we can’t have nice things.
Boyfriend: And Jesus did come back from the dead, and He said, Eat of this bread, it is my body. And He said, This man shall wear a funny hat and be infallible, and he will be called the Pope.
Boyfriend: And He saw what He had done.
Boyfriend: And it was good.
Boyfriend: And then He said, Fuck you guys, I am taking my ball and going home.
Boyfriend: And He ascended into Heaven.
Boyfriend: And then Mary said to the angel, Man, you look familiar.
Boyfriend: And the Angel said, No, dude, we all look alike, I have never seen you before, and he did ascend into the sky, and Mary yelled, You owe me a LOT of child support.
Boyfriend: And that is why we have Easter. The eggs represent the ball Jesus took with him because he didn’t want to play anymore.
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #Easter #I actually kind of like Easter #it feels… #(and I know this might not actually be true) #(because there is that whole Easter Bunny thing) #but it feels very un-hegemonic to me #I get the impression that Easter-celebraters are generally very aware that not everyone does it and are accepting of that #I’ve seen a couple segments about Easter celebrations on TV news while channel-surfing #and they kind of had that tone of ‘now now be *respectful* of what the weird people are doing’ #and told us basic facts about the religious significance of Easter #as if we didn’t already know about the whole Jesus-resurrection thing #they othered the Christians *exactly* as much as they would other anyone else #treated them exactly as they would treat anyone else #it was great #Easter is what Christmas should be like #Easter is what *Christianity* should be like #one religion among many #on equal footing #tag rambles
Brinens and Things 