Item: bottle of asparagus-water


#food #god there is so much here #it just keeps unfolding #it costs $5.99 in 2015!USD #it’s a liquid measured in pounds #warning: this product has not been pasteurized and‚ therefore‚ may contain harmful bacteria #later on the label calls it a ”juice” #(which implies they’re selling *other* things that *are* unpasteurized juices) #((since otherwise why would they have had the form letter lying around)) #(did they not learn anything from the Odwalla incident??) #Vox’s food-focused subsidiary contacted Whole Foods for comment and was told that ”the product was made incorrectly” #unsanitary cw?


When I was asleep, I dreamed about a popular tumblr post that went something like this:

I’m incredibly jealous of fishes
It’s because icebergs are a thing for them


As a human you will never get to witness a gigantic mythical ice creature descending from the heavens
It’s so awesome it can only happen in fiction
But for antarctic fishes, it’s just like
“that’s wednesdays for ya”


They don’t know how good they have it!
If I saw a Leviathan Frost Dragon manifest in the skies I’d pass out from excitement
And yet these fuckers are just jaded to such happenings.

This has been your annual repost from the best of Dreamworld Tumblr, enjoy.

Oh, also the research session on the dream internet turned up the fact that dream icebergs are all shrouded in a miniature storm system with spectacular lightning and snow.
And also that, off the coast of Brazil, some of these iceberg mini-storms have become self-sustaining even though the iceberg has melted, and they bring immense fertility to the seas below, by churning up the nutrients, so a whole bunch of fish follow them around to feed on the plankton bloom. Sadly, they’re hazardous to visit if you’re a fisherman. This is because the storm is so warm and full of nutrients that it snows mold. The legendary mold-storms of Brazil, responsible for their vast fishing exports.


#…Dreamworld Tumblr has a fucking point #icebergs #unsanitary cw? #dreams

Anonymous asked: Your anti-nausea food is a BLT?? I love it but that’s chaotic. When I think of anti-nausea food I think of, like, honey tea. Hot milk. White rice. Hearing someone say their anti-nausea food is a BLT is like hearing someone say that they unwind after a stressful day by breaking into their neighbour’s house and rearranging the cutlery.


if it’s really important I’ll put bean sprouts or maybe an egg on it but i also think that prairie oysters are a good idea but a little much for the modern age whereas many people tend towards revulsion

if i’m nauseous i’m probably already drinking lots of water and gatorade so honey tea is just adding more liquids to already too much liquid, i’m confused and mildly turned off of milk[1] tho hot milk is the best way and i would *love* to be able to have serving size heavy cream for warming some of that up, and rice reminds me of descriptions of large znttbgf (rot13’d because I don’t like looking at the word)

blt is simple, if i don’t feel like grain, i just eat the rest like a salad (easy on the gut) or i might take off some tomato (too acidic); bacon and bread are easy on me, mayo only as long as i don’t make the sandwich myself (weird but w/e)

[1]: i had frozen milk for my school milk too many times in a row, then one day i was desperate for cereal, only to find that the milk at home had frozen. I rarely drank milk after that (occasionally if i overshoot on spice but that’s hard to do, i’m not averse to lattes but prefer warm to hot milk and as creamy as they can get).

I’m pretty much with anon here: I did not know how much variation there was in anti-nausea foods, and it’s fascinating.

Bacon is one of the *worst* things for me to eat if I’m already not feeling well: greasy foods give me stomachaches. I don’t use honey tea or hot milk, but I can kind of see those (in theory I can also see white rice, but yeah I do sometimes struggle with the appearance).

I like mint for acute anti-nausea. (Usually just peppermint oil on a cotton ball for the smell, but occasionally edible mint.) For longer-term “halfway through a 300-hour stomach bug and trying to get some calories into me”, [popcorn popped in moderate amounts of canola oil] and to a lesser extent graham crackers.


#reply via reblog #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #food #disordered eating? #in which Brin has a food poisoning phobia #unsanitary cw? #illness tw?






The only episode I’ve seen involved a woman slowly poisoning her boyfriend who had gold allergy with gold that she snuck into the hospital in her vagina.

House caught her by rubbing his hands with special sauce that changes color in reaction to gold and grabbing her hands outside the stall before she could wash her hands, it was insane.

Me: I watched House straight through and don’t remember that. Surely dasha-aibo dreamed it
not only does this episode exist, I remember other things from it. But the vaginal gold smuggling was just not that memorable.

House is crazy enough that I might just do a rewatch to document the crazy shit he does per season


#House #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #unsanitary cw? #poison cw?



If you’re a person who has problems Touching Certain Things I highly recommend buying a box of disposable nitrile gloves, because I’ve used them for everything from baking very sticky bread to scooping grease out of a drain to (today) tying up garbage that had maggots in it.

yeah they’re great. I used to use them for all kinds of things


#yes this #unsanitary cw?


Recently, I’ve been fascinated the payoff matrix for two people who are breathing with their mouths very close to each other.

If they’re breathing out of sync – one person inhaling for the exact duration the other person exhales – then this is the worst case for both of them, because they both get stale air.

It’s maximally cooperative of them, and raises quality of total air intake, if they’re completely in sync. When they both exhale, they push a lot of stale air out, and when they inhale, combine their forces to bring new air into the area around their mouths.

The part I’m interested in is defection. The way you maximize your air quality is by setting your cycle slightly after theirs. They start clearing the air when they breathe in, so you get cleaner air if you wait until they’ve done a bit of it to start yourself. The air is best when they’ve just stopped but you’re still inhaling for a second.

The other part I’m interested in is: few people think about this, so if I defect on someone I’m making out with, they’re probably not going to know. It’s like the perfect crime.

After days of mulling over this, I told all this to the new person I’m seeing, and added, “I have defected on you several times, just to have the experience.” They found this amusing, and did not dislike me upon knowing how they’d been cheated. Again, this makes this the perfect defection. I recommend it to anyone else who craves the cheap thrill of ripping someone off.

I also think about this, but in the context of cuddling, so instead the conclusion I came to was that the optimal move is to simply never be face-to-face with the other person. I’ve never made out with anyone and have no plans to, so I hadn’t thought about how it would also be an issue (and one not as easily solved) in that context.


#reply via reblog #interesting #unsanitary cw? #asphyxiation cw?


So you’re telling me, all those years in which I’d be in a car desperate for the bathroom and they wouldn’t pull over, and I’d be frantically coming up with the dirtiest fantasies I could imagine, leaning against the window thinking about a spider queen stepping on me, and I thought it helped – all those times, it was PLACEBO, because I don’t have a PROSTATE?

…hmm. I’ve only encountered this from the other direction (having to *avoid* thinking too hard about sexy stuff when I *do* get to a bathroom), but I *have* encountered it. I don’t have a prostate (…as far as I know; barring some particularly subtle intersex condition), but I’m not sure how it could be placebo, since I wasn’t told to expect it.


#reply via reblog #sexuality and lack thereof #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #unsanitary cw?