That’d be awesome. LOVE ME AND DESPAIR. ARE YOU GAY? ARE YOU STRAIGHT?! YOU JUST DON’T KNOW BUT YOU STILL WANT ME. MWAHAHAHAHA
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#this amuses me because my reaction to it #is exactly the opposite of the reaction of the presumable target audience #both of these things are *downsides* to me #today a random stranger (customer) referred to me as ”she” #and I felt pleased that I had presented my gender successfully #I’m not even trans or anything #it is not and has never been particularly *difficult* for me to present as female #yet I am still always pleased by success #also being attractive sounds like it would lead to a lot of unwanted attention #ideally I would like to look plain in a vaguely pleasant manner #(I think I do pretty well at this for the most part) #gender #tag rambles
#Step 1: look for those sleep-aid hypnosis recordings #Step 2: find one that charges money #Step 3: steal it #voila #(no I have not done that) #(I don’t even like audio) #(and in general there’s exactly zero reason to steal things when other things in the same category are freely given) #(to even be tempted you need some reason to believe you’ll like the paid one more) #(which usually means ”a particular for-profit piece has a high reputation”) #(and that’s not something that comes up much in this case) #((the entire concept of pirating porn makes no sense to me)) #((because IME most individual pieces of for-profit porn have no reputation at all)) #((and the ones that do never have a reputation that makes me more inclined to want them)) #tag rambles #sexuality and lack thereof #okay so while I *was* joking about that answer #if you actually try anything like that remember to vet your scripts #(”vetting the script”: listening to it first *without* following along to check that you approve of what they’re saying) #(and they’re not going to try to fast-talk you into some bullshit) #(because no matter how many of them are fine there’s always that one asshole you know?)
The news site Slashdot (“news for nerds, stuff that matters”) is celebrating its 20 year anniversary this October. What could be geekier than celebrating with the help of an open-source neural network?
Neural networks are a type of machine learning program that learn by example, rather than by a human programmer feeding them rules. Whatever the headlines contain, whatever common words and rhythms, a neural network will do its best to imitate. I’ve trained an open-source neural network called char-rnn to imitate all kinds of human things, like paint colors, guinea pig names, and craft beer names.
Slashdot sent me a list of all the headlines they’ve ever run, over 162,000 in all, and asked me to train a neural network to try to generate more.
Alternuting Your Computer The Internet Spectrum Violated Microsoft To Develop Programming Law Star Trek Creates Free Memory Launching the Linux Group Socially Microsoft Releases New Months More Pong Users for Kernel Project Nintendo Goes Canadian Edition to Customers New State of Second Life Sexual Security To Allow Australia Programming Supercomputer Library In Star Wars What are The Final Fantasy Review of the Wireless Monster? Portable Mail With Spidey Law New 5400 GPL Formed into An Internet Dvorak on Mario Games? Half-Life 2X Speed Released Ban Manhunt 2 Better than Linux? Vista Releases Denial of the Mumble New Company Revises Super-Things For Problems The Dead of Managing Moneys? Judge Releases Sony Practices in Death Doom’s On Worldwire Networks Sun Releases Enterprise in Smackware I Wants To Control of the Net Nintendo Can Start in the Wild Button? Secondors Talk Open Source For Super-Bork? AOL On Beam Doubt
Some familiar personalities of the tech industry make an appearance:
Microsoft Releases Bill Gates Service Start Steve Jobs To Be Good Shatner Awards Up Towards A Game Car Challenge
Cell phones appear to be have been weird in the early days:
Stem Cell Phone Standards in Space Why Are Blow Systems Taking Your Phone? New Unreal Tournament Phone Reviews Doubts Forget To Support Flat Spam Phone
And you find companies doing rather unexpected things:
Microsoft Announces Mac OS X Released Intel Releasing Linux In A Networks Sun Upgrades Apple Devices Corel Launches $100 Laptop Microsoft Announces Firefox Portal Mozilla’s Audio Caroffice Apple Finally Launches Microsoft
I produced the above headlines by allowing the neural network a high creativity setting, so it could range over many different headline topics that it’s seen over and over. But it’s also fun to turn the creativity down near zero, so the neural network can try to generate the most quintessential headlines:
All The Company Programming Software Software? Some Computer Computer Solution of the New Company Computer More Anti-Spam For Software Computer Mac OS X Interview with Linux Computer Mac OS X Accused of the Business Sony Plans To Start Patent System For All Time Security Hole For Security Hole Security Hole in the Star Trek Computer Computer Computer Computer Software?
Decade 2: 2007 – 2017
The neural network had a tougher time with decade 2 – it seems the headlines became longer and more complex, as Slashdot experimented with new formats and new topics. The neural network struggled to create grammatical headlines as a result. But it still did its best to reflect the new topics of the last decade. Compared to the late 1990s and early 2000s, some companies and topics disappeared, while the coverage of Apple in particular exploded. Star Trek and Star Wars, however, remain perennial Slashdot favorites. Here are some neural network-generated headlines for 2007-2017:
Twitter Discovered In the Pirate Bay Google Bacon Medal To Contract Computational Lab Scientists Discover Free Wi-Fi Store In the US Steve Jobs Sues Death of the Future Apple Seeks To Be Become Windows 10 Has Been Control the Desktops Stanford Computer Scientists Develop Super Man Sales For Computer Science Star Wars Hacked In Life On the iPhone Computer Finds Court Broke Math For Secret Company How Do You Design To Stay Them Bomb Ask Slashdot: How Clinton Uses Display For Android Chips On Netflix Court From the Jobs People ‘Fork” At a Flaw Refused The Pirate Bay Tracking Storage Security For Windows 10 German Porn Update To Compete At CNSR Healthy Court Says Supreme Court Can Be Lingeries Apple Says the Moon Project To Pay $1.7 Billion For Free Software Steve Jobs Allowed To Deal With Solar Power Apple Sues Apple To Get Flash Mathematics Microsoft Slashdot: How To Build a Bad Privacy For Windows 10 Twitter That We Use Facebook To Receive The Life Linux Kernel 3.1.0 Launches In Late, Facebook To Sue Star Trek The One-Department For Alleged For Connectivity: 3-D Printed Baby Black Hole Proposed
My favorite part, though? The Slashdot headlines that appeared to come from an alternate, much more advanced, somewhat terrifying timeline:
Google Returns To the Space Station Mac OS X Project Announces Space Station Sony Announces Mars Rover Release Google Patents Intelligent Space Telescope Officials Release Android Apps For New Space Telescope Star Trek Control of the Wild Start Up Scientists Army Interviewed Company Computer Releases Cloning Crime Building A Nano-Tech Back Full Life On The Linux Chernobyl Announces Company And Educators SGI Launches Space Station FreeBSD Base Scientific Hits the Moon Red Hat Releases Linux Games And Moon Apple’s Moon Review About New Moons of a Company Looking For Mars Landers to Linux Mars Rover Set for Alien China Congress To Buy Mars Mister Building a Top 100 Company For Mars Apple Considering Debut in People Processors Apple vs. Biology Details An Android Bans Secret Project For Console Devices Your Own Portals U.S. Considering Death of the Solar System Black Holes from Digital Dell Black Hole Sension of the Linux Microsoft’s Lab Changes “Space” IBM Moves to The Matrix Super Planet Wars Solved
The quintessential headline, though? When I trained the neural network with all 20 years of Slashdot headlines, then turned down the creativity level to near zero, I reveal the following essential Slashdot headlines, distilled from 20 years of technology news:
Sun Sues Open Source Project Content Sun Sues Anti-Spam Computers Sun Sues Security Flaw Contest Sun Sues New Star Trek To Stop The Math Sun Sues Anti-Spam Standards And The Star Wars To Stop Computers Star Wars Companies Are Streaming the Star Wars Star Wars To Support Linux Development Apple Settles The Future of Star Wars Apple Releases Secure State of the World Apple Sues Apple To Start The Solar Power Project Sony Sues Apple Server For Seconds Off From SpaceX Project Ask Slashdot: Do We Want To Be the Computers? The Desist of the Planet
Also: POLL! I’m collecting names of Halloween costumes for training a future neural network. Enter as many as you like (no email address required).
Ask Slashdot: Do We Want To Be the Computers?
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#long post #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(my favourites are ”Scientists Discover Free Wi-Fi Store in US” and ”Facebook to Sue Star Trek”) #(though I agree that ”Do We Want to Be the Computers?” is pretty great even if it does break Betteridge’s Law) #((mind you I’m not sure uploading *in itself* appeals to me)) #((I’m sure silicon-based substrates have their own problems and I have more experience coping with my current body’s problem set)) #((and given that I am honestly impressed this laptop has made it to nearly its third anniversary of purchase)) #((I have no reason to expect they’d even be more durable overall)) #((so really the nice thing about uploading is being able to evacuate to a new body when your current one gives out)) #((for which a cortical stack and the occasional previously-uninhabited clone body would do just fine)) #(((and some offsite backups in case the stack is unrecoverable might be helpful but do leave you more open to forknapping))) #tag rambles #transhumanism #death tw
1. I give myself pep talks in the first person, a la “The little engine that could.”
2. I chide or berate myself in the first person: “I’m an idiot.”
3. I give pep talks in the second person: “You can do this, [my name]!”
4. I chide myself in the second person.
5. I narrate what I’m doing in the third person, as if I were the protagonist in a story: “They rolled out of bed, early in the grey morning, thinking only: Coffee!”
6. Discuss what I’m doing with someone who isn’t there (either someone from history, my own past, an imaginary friend, etc.)
7. All of the above.
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#I won’t swear I’ve *never* done 5 but if I do it at all it’s rare #other than that all of the above #though when there’s chiding to be done it’s mostly first-person #and when there’s pep-talking to be done it’s mostly second-person #(which makes a lot of advice on the subject weird because they assume it’s the other way around) #second-person thoughts don’t address me by name that much though #(in early February my brain adopted a habit of calling me ”love”) #(I remember the time period because I thought at first it was some kind of celebration of Valentine’s Day) #(but it hasn’t stopped) #(it’s kind of nice though so I haven’t tried to get rid of it) #((…wait hang on are we talking about thoughts in general or specifically talking aloud?)) #((I don’t talk to myself out loud much)) #((I think when there are pronouns for those they’re usually first-person (sometimes singular sometimes plural))) #((but more often (”often” being a relative term) it’s pronoun-less stuff like ”wait no not that have to do this first”)) #reply via reblog #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #in which Brin somehow manages to be among the most singlet people she knows #tag rambles
Any advice on how to break the “depressed because I can’t get a job, can’t get a job because I’m depressed” cycle?
(…any advice on how to convince a depressed third party to actually *take* the advice from the first question?)
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#oh look an original post #you would think given that damn near everyone I know is or has been depressed #I would be better at dealing with depressed people #but…it’s hard to phrase this in a way that doesn’t sound bad #I don’t mean it in a bad way #but while I *like* my friends and I do want them to do well #the harm done to *me* by stuff ruining *their* lives is indirect at most #and that gives me enough distance from the problem to be understanding and stuff #Dad’s inability to let go of the idea of being The Provider and settle for merely contributing to a shared pool of income #(and therefore refusing to even apply for jobs that would ~merely~ let him pull his own weight rather than pulling *four* people’s weight) #is *directly* making it harder for me to afford my necessities #(or rather is failing to lengthen the amount of time left before affording my necessities becomes abruptly very difficult) #((I suppose the nuclear-war analogy has *some* truth to it but I still think the global-warming analogy is more adaptive)) #((and likely closer overall)) #tag rambles #venting #(the tag-ramble part) #(but no really if you have any advice please let me know) #adventures in human capitalism
Also listened to “The Sweet Tooth”, which reminds me very much of reading “The Glad Hosts”.
They both feel strongly like somebody took a cliche, paint-by-numbers erotic-horror story, stripped out the conventionally-sexual content*, and gave it to a vanilla audience who wouldn’t recognise its pattern.
And so you’re like “…do they know? Is that what they did, or did they independently reinvent this standard plot?”
(IIRC, there’s an RPA behind-the-scenes bit that suggests they didn’t know, and that they did independently reinvent this plot. Which is interesting, in a convergent-evolution kind of way. “The lure is a chocolate shop, and women liking chocolate is for whatever reason more of a Thing than it is for men” and “this story is porn aimed at gynephiles” both lead to the same result of all-female targets.)
*But didn’t do a complete job of it: you can still see traces. Mai’s “love erotic”; the way the shop preys exclusively on women.
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#I mean yeah the villain loses in this one #but that *would* be a side effect of translating the plot from a genre where the villain usually wins to a genre where they never do #Red Panda Adventures #sexuality and lack thereof #nsfw text? #reactionblogging #tmi? #for some reason it took me longer to notice with Glad Hosts than with Sweet Tooth #Sweet Tooth I remember thinking a few minutes into my first listen ”I swear I’ve read porn with this premise” #Glad Hosts felt *vaguely* familiar and it wasn’t until afterward that I realised #”oh this is basically just cliche dime-a-dozen mind-altering-parasite porn but with the conventional sexuality removed” #”I didn’t like this plot the *first* six times I read it” #(Sweet Tooth was much less horror-y so I liked it a lot better) #(have I mentioned lately I hate horror?) #oh look an original post
80% of the eyeglasses in the world are made by Luxotica, that’s right, no matter the brand name, the source is the same, but not only do Luxottica make the frames, they make the lenses, they own the stores, they even own the largest eye insurance company, Eye Med – which is why they can charge you 400$ for a pair of glasses that costs maybe $20
75% of people who purchase eyeglasses need them out of medical necessity (as I do) so I went and tried the online shop Zenni Optical, and was able to buy no line bifocals with UV coating for less than $70, when LensCrafters wanted to sell me a pair for $550 – and that’s WITH insurance!
Nicest thing about Zenni? You can upload a photo of yourself to try on glasses, and if you don’t like them – YOU CAN RETURN THEM for credit! This is because you don’t need to gouge your customer to make money, glasses really cost only pennies to make. Now I can buy a couple of pairs, and have choices in what I wear, rather than investing hundreds of dollars – sometimes for quality that sucks.
Regardless of whom you buy from, don’t feed Luxottica any more.
Probably also applies to countries outside of US, Luxottica is Italian, and French lensmaker Essilor has agreed to buy Luxottica in a bid to create a new global giant in the sector. The combined group will have a market capitalization of around 46.2 billion euros ($49 billion), based on both companies’ closing share prices on Friday.
just google online eyeglasses and you’ll find plenty of links.
Zenni is international! I’ve been buying my glasses there now for years and I’ve never had any issues. Not with fit, not with lenses, not with breaks – nothing.
I have a strong, difficult prescription and was regularly paying upwards of $700AUD every two years for a single pair of glasses. I bought my current pair of glasses a couple years ago from Zenni and guess how much I spent?
…$7. In total. Frames and lenses. And they are singularly the best glasses I’ve ever had. I wear my glasses every waking hour of my life and these babies have not just survived but they look almost as good as when I first received them.
And because they are so cheap I also have a pair of sunglasses, and TWO pairs of alternative glasses I can wear when the mood strikes me. Since then my mom AND my dad, my uncle, and my cousin have all started to buy from Zenni.
BUY YOUR GLASSES FROM ZENNI! I cannot stress this enough. If you’re paying retail then you’re being ripped off.
I’ve reblogged this before and Ima reblog it again…
Zenni ain’t the only place out there. In fact I shopped there first then found other’s I liked better. I primarily buy off Eyebuydirect but I have also shopped at coastal and Zenni. Eyebuydirect has been overall my favorite. There prices are in the same price bracket as Zenni which is like $12-$80 for frames and where as zenni you can get lenses for free Eyebuydirect the lenses I think are like $14-18
but the quality of the glasses I have gotten from Eyebuydirect felt far superior to those I got from zenni, Eyebuydirect also has great customer service. Basically please look around the internet. Like just cause glasses are fucking awesome and deserve to be a fashion statement as well as a need.
I am currently wearing a pair of glasses from eyebuydirect that I paid a little over $100 I got frames that where $35 and I got those fancy blue coated lenses that help protect your eyes against looking at screens for extended time (I get way less headaches with them!) those lenses where a bit pricier.
but. in comparison, last I checked in at walmart (fucking walmart.) my lenses alone base cost would of been $140 that’s just the stupid glass discs not even the frames.
You do need to get a prescription from an optometrist, that you can’t avoid, however you don’t have to buy the eyeglasses from your optometrist, some don’t like that because that’s where they make their money – others are paid salary by their stores so they don’t care. Part of the prescription is the pupillary distance, and you’ve paid for that, so they have to give it to you. If they still don’t, Zenni has a ruler you can print out, so you can figure it out yourself.
Also, if you eyeglasses are not correct (I have no line bifocals and those can be an issue, though I’ve never had them with Zenni) you just send them back no charge to get re-made, or send them back for a refund. You don’t lose anything for trying except time.
I have gotten glasses from Zenni since 2013, and at this point I’ve probably saved thousands of dollars with how terrible my eyes are and how expensive my lenses turn out in stores.
Also, you should probably go to an ophthalmologist instead of an optometrist, at least if you haven’t been in a while. They are more trained in dealing with eye problems other than just getting your prescription right, but they do that too.
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#glasses #the more you know #I’ve had the same pair of glasses for over a decade now but I’m sure I’ll need new ones *eventually* #(the prescription won’t be a problem) #(I keep a copy of my glasses prescription in my wallet) #(and replace it every two years with the most recent one) #(it tends to change *slightly* each checkup but not significantly enough to be worth replacing my lenses just for that) #(and so far it doesn’t change in a consistent direction and thus doesn’t add up over time) #I should probably get a poverty/frugality tag; I’ve been talking about that more lately #I will take my cue from the ”who needs dragon capitalism” bit in the electricity post and call it #adventures in human capitalism #(note that ”adventures in dragon capitalism” is an already-established tag)
(Specifically, they flip which times are mid-peak and which are on-peak. Which means if you’ve been trying to move some of your on-peak electricity usage to mid-peak times, you need to change your strategy when the seasonal rate changes or you’ll end up making things *worse*.)
So the bad news is, my family’s been severely fucking up our attempts to reduce our electric bill for three and a half months, and moderately fucking it up for years. Good news is, now that we actually know what our cards are and how to play them, between that and the recent drops in electricity rates we can probably cut our electric bill to, like, $10 – $20/month (our 2016 average was ~$130/month; 2017’s been more like $100 so far, but they just dropped the rates again, so an equivalent amount of usage would now cost ~$80).
I don’t think I actually have any Ontarian readers, but the rest of you might want to check if anything analogous is going on in your area. That’s a lot of money that could be going towards food, shelter, etc.
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#shown above: an example of why I haven’t played Flight Rising since December #why play dragon capitalism when you’re playing *real* capitalism #(I suspect in the long run I’m going to end up with some serious miser issues) #(we’ve been bleeding savings to some extent or another for so long) #(I’ve gotten used to the idea that my future selves will always need my money more than I do) #(that the overall trajectory of one’s finances is always downward) #(but the sooner you start acting as if you’re already broke the longer it will take for you to become *actually* broke) #(and the softer a landing it will be when you inevitably get there) #(so if I ever end up in a position of true financial stability) #((rather than the one-time cash infusions that have kept us afloat so far)) #(I’m going to have a hell of a time convincing myself of it) #(I think part of me’s always going to believe that the good times are temporary and I need to be preparing for when they end) #anyway I’m glad I double-checked the electricity-price rules #there is probably some warning tag I should put on this but I am not sure what #oh look an original post #the more you know #tag rambles #(the following category tag was added retroactively:) #adventures in human capitalism
#tag rambles #1. plain cheese #2. it used to be Thin Mint #but I’ve found lately that I prefer my desserts to contain nuts #(…maybe I could mix nuts *into* the Thin Mint ice cream) #(ooh) #3. empirically oranges/bananas/apples #(”empirically” = ”what I eat most”) #but I’d eat nectarines more often if they weren’t so expensive #(though even then I’d only eat them in the summer) #(never eat nectarines imported from another hemisphere they’re terrible) #(nectarine-shaped greyish flavourless disturbingness) #4. it was Italian like a decade ago but now I’m not sure #maybe Chinese #5. is this a restaurant? never been there #6. I never eat out for breakfast #I stay home and eat a fruity granola bar #(I used to have yogurt but it’s too expensive) #(and doesn’t keep as long) #(so you can’t buy a three-month supply when it’s on sale and live off of it until the next sale) #(you actually have to pay full price a large percentage of the time) #(also last year I found out I enjoy Nutri-Grain mixed berry and blueberry bars) #(I used to think I disliked them but it turns out I actually just don’t like the apple ones) #((which is a shame because apple was my favourite flavor of Quaker fruit bar but they stopped making them ages ago)) #(((I’m going to deliberately leave ”flavor” that way because))) #(((it’s interesting how I sometimes subconsciously use American spellings when discussing American things)))
#a while back I had some entries in a raffle #one of the prizes was a pair of baby shoes #and it occurred to me #that if I won that prize I would end up literally placing a ”For sale: baby shoes. Never worn.” ad #and that it would be a *happy* story #(”yay I won a thing and (through a somewhat convoluted process) I will exchange that thing for goods and/or services”) #not all baby-shoes-never-worn are sad #(I did not end up winning them) #(but I *could* have) #(and maybe I’ll win a pair in some future raffle) #tag rambles #death mention
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