Okay, but consider this…

amemait:

lullabyknell:

Modern fantasy creatures and people being exposed to new lifestyles and developing dreams and goals that don’t fit with their species or their culture in the slightest.

  • A dwarf who was born in a mine, grew up in a mine, and can count the number of times they’ve been surface-side on both hands. One of these times, they witnessed an airshow. They go home and tell their parents: “Mom, Dad, I want to be a pilot.” “What’s a pilot?” “We’ll, y’see…” And a brief explanation later… “YOU WANT TO DO WHAT? WHERE DID WE GO WRONG? DAMN IT, ROK, I TOLD YOU THAT THE SUN WOULD GO TO HIS HEAD. NOW HE THINKS HE CAN FUCKING FLY, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!
  • An elf who has a deep interest in geology and underground exploration signs up for a dwarven digging mission. Shows up first day all long limbs and being seven feet tall, and has to become a 90 degree angle to get through the door. “Hey guys! Who’s ready to look at some rocks? Am I right? Well, it’s a tight fit, but I bet I can do it if I squeeze. Ooh, I know some great digging songs by the way.” The dwarves immediately try to find a way to fire the elf without being sued for racial discrimination. “I told you we should have been more careful about the ad.” “I put in it Gold and Gems Monthly, Brek, how was I to know elves read that kind of thing?” “OHMIGOSH, GUYS COME SEE WHAT I FOUND!” “Your turn, Nik.” “I swear to God, if it’s another goddamn stalagmite again…” 
  • A centaur whose herd migrates to a coast area and sees the ocean for the first time. “Greyhoof, I’m going to be a fisherman.” “What?” “I’m going to sail the seven seas; I want to be a sailor.” “Blackmane, you’re half horse, you can’t sail.” “I can learn.” “You can’t climb their weird ropes things. What would you even do on the ocean?” “It’s called rigging and I’d be a fisherman, obviously, like I told you.” “YOU’RE A CENTAUR, YOU CAN’T SAIL!” “YOU DON’T KNOW THAT. DON’T TRY AND DESTROY MY DREAMS, GREYHOOF, I CAN DO ANYTHING I SET MY MIND TO. I BELIEVE IN ME.”
  • A mermaid who gets really interested in those land mountains that touch the clouds and meets an extreme mountain-climber on the beach, then decides they’ve found their calling. “I’m going to be the first mermaid to climb Mount Everest.” “What? Bluefins, that’s ridiculous.” “No, no, I’m gonna do it.” “You can’t breathe air.” “I’ll bring a tank of water, like what the humans do with air when they dive.” “YOU DON’T HAVE LEGS.” “I know, that’s what’ll make me the first mermaid to do it. I’m going to have to work around that, but” “FOR FUCK’S SAKE, BLUEFINS. WE’RE TROPICAL.” “No, see, there are these human things called coats. I’ve got it all figured out. Look, I drew plans.” “WITH WHAT?”

This speaks to me today.


Tags:

#story ideas I will never write #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(‘Look I drew plans.’ ‘WITH WHAT?’)

rosedai:

tbh i dont get why most people assume that robots are always cold

like have u felt a laptop while its working? its kinda not exactly cold yo

tbh any piece of machinery thats working hard to function is usually not cold, the only time its ever cold is when its turned off

so id like to think while a robot is awake and functioning they could have the potential to be as warm as a human being :0

 

titusnowl:

never thought about this before but now it’s obvious

although like i hope they’ve actually improved cooling tech by the time they’re building androids bc my laptop can actually get so hot it makes THE ROOM hot and it’s only the size of a laptop so potentially an android who was thinking very hard would be a veritable furnace 

think too hard, overheat, faint

fainting couches for androids omg

 

notcuddles:

Fainting couches for androids is the best possible thing

 

ceruleancynic:

file under things i didn’t know i needed in my life

 

roachpatrol:

humans who carry around those chemical freeze-packs in case they need something to drape across their friend’s fevered brow

humans who insist on holding a parasol for their robot friend on sunny days

a robot draping herself over a fainting couch in distress and a bunch of worried humans mobbing up to fuss and fan her and bring her some cool water and pat her hand and gallantly offer to beat up whatever alarmed her

too cute

 

watchthelightfade:

image

 

ayellowbirds:

I’ve reblogged this before but it didn’t have the art. Oh gosh <3


Tags:

#robot #story ideas I will never write

nuclearspaceheater:

tharook:

northcentralpositronics:

tattoo artist who can encode magic into tattoos but doesn’t want people to know she can so she just puts low-level luck spells on her clients’ bodies without telling them

jeweller who makes body jewellery and pendants which have amulet properties and draw love and luck and happiness to their wearers without them realising it

piercing artist who keeps the remnants from her piercings and puts them all in little jars in the back of her shop to work sympathetic luck spells on all her clients

and then all three of them slowly realise what the others are doing and end up in a poly relationship living in a little shop in the shitty end of town, which gets curiously less shitty the longer they stay, and people think it’s just the development of the area but the three artists know

and they’re never rich and they’re never famous but they’re always happy because they have everything they need

they have the shop and they have their customers and they have each other

and when their customers are happy and content, they pack up and move on, all together now, to find another space with skin to be coloured and jewellery to be made and magic to be done.

this is beautiful

DETROIT – The three body modification artists were arrested today on charges of voluntary manslaughter after a past client suffered a fatal stroke, allegedly due to thaumo-alchemical interactions between her prescribed potions and a luck charm that had been placed on one of her tattoos without her knowledge.

“Some potions and drugs are known to react with common charms, which is why it is absolutely essential that your doctor and pharmacist have a complete and accurate list of your active enchantments,” says pharmacist Patricia Patil. “Putting an enchantment of any kind, no matter how minor, on someone without their knowledge or permission is playing Russian Roulette with someone else’s life.”

The victim, Carmen Jackson, was 36 at the time of her death and is survived by a husband and 4 children.


Tags:

#death tw #yes this #I did not think this *exact* thing #but I did wonder why we were assumed to sympathise with people tricking others into taking spells


{{next post in sequence}}

heartnell:

i wonder what effect wide-spread/public vampirism would have on the evolution of language

 

heartnell:

like i mean obviously i havent slept properly in like two days but seriously how does it evolve without the assistance of former generations dying out. do people use the words “grisbittyng” and “yolo” in the same sentence. are there parts of big cities where its like walking into a different century like are there neighbourhoods in chicago where people literally speak old english and the teachers at the schools use old english and like the people who live two blocks away speak a creole of ge’ez and polish and like. dude i want cultural implications of vampirism that go beyond bloodbanks i want linguistics and politics and medical science and history and religion, i want hypovolemic vampires who speak akkadian in the home and are devout worshippers of inanna and have a home care nurse to help with making sure the picc line theyre getting lactated ringers solution via isnt partially occluded!!! help

 

eighthdoctor:

ok i have no excuse for this but

i just got my drivers license renewed and can you imagine the dol dealing with ‘what is your birthdate’ ‘august 27 1662′ ‘what’

but everyone else too, all the bureaucracy’s gonna be fucked

bloodtype?’ ‘no preference,just fresh’

‘sir are you a senior’ ‘i was born in the fifteenth century, i should hope so’ ‘sir i’ll need to see id’

and like—how do you deal with a population that’s collecting social security while being functionally 15 or 28 or 50 what do you do about them when they don’t die what does it mean to have a group whose physical ability is unchanging, is there a vampire draft, is there a separate database for vampire SSNs because they draw social security for different reasons what is going on with that

how do term limits work, is there a mandatory down period, or are vampires bound to the same term limits as mortals and if so are there protests about this

 

heartnell:

afa social security goes i would assume in this setting it would be based on physical ability rather than necessarily age for vampires, which is very similar to what it is for humans: you can get benefits if youre 65+ OR if you physically cannot work, id assume for vampires its just the latter or else “yeah ive been on retirement for 400 years” “you’re the size of a seven-year-old” “yeah and”

hypovolemia DOES NOT count if youre a vampire, some people seem to forget that. there’s IV saline as an adtl to blood, bc quite honestly vampires are wimps and “have you ever tried to drink blood that has half a cup of salt in it?? it’s disgusting”

oh dear god IDs the big question is ofc do they show up in photographs bc if not there is a big market for photo-realistic artists in the govt and in most big companies, bc IDs with descriptions are… pretty easy to bypass, especially when you’re immortal. i’ll bet some places have fun with it, like a lot of art students’ university IDs will be ridiculously stylised, possibly like cubist or some shit.

i assume there are systems in place to keep someone from being head of state for 700 years.

murder???? how do you solve a vampire’s murder how do you identify the victim is it like “so i found this pile of ashes, and this person went missing near here recently, i guess this is our person??” does no one even bother to investigate? i feel like vamps wouldnt put up with that

 

aromantic-eight:

……Forensic scientists specializing in ash analysis.

 

aromantic-eight:

Would vampires have to get special, like, carbon-nitrogen profiles done? Stuff that would stay in the ashes? “We did a molecular ratio test on the ash pile and the profile matches the following individuals quite closely.”

 

heartnell:

thats FASCINATING ngl, although like i wonder how the community feels abt it, like on one hand if someone gets murdered and theres no way to identify the remains ppl are gonna get pissed, if you mandate fancy tests ppl are gonna get pissed (like how they dont want to be fingerprinted since they “arent a criminal”, u know?), its all a mess

 

secretallie:

Okay, but guys: POLITICS. I mean okay, let’s be optimistic that effectively immortal people would willingly step down from power after a number of years in office. Given how addictive power can be, it’s questionable, but like I said, optimism, because otherwise everything is basically fucked and there will never ever be social or political change whatsoever with a monarch/president still subscribing to rigid old timey values.

But still. Imagine a UN convention where a representative of one country still has visceral firsthand memories of how that dude across the room once served as a general in the war that tore his country apart. Or a Congress where former slaves and slave owners have to sit next to each other. Or a forward-thinking president trying to pass a law about gender equality when a significant segment of the population were raised in an era where women were considered property. HOW WOULD THAT EVEN WORK???

 

ajcrawly:

coto524 old-manrupee armoredhost queenie-bex

 

cosmictuesdays:

My guess is that, because they’d have a greater understanding of what constitutes a long-term impact, vampires would be deeply committed environmentalists. Lobbying for more stringent industrial regulations, strengthening the existing laws for clean air and safe drinking water, increasing EPA funding and collaborating with the Department of Agriculture to fight against corporate lobbyists, that sort of thing. They remember what it was like before the Industrial Revolution kicked in, they know what they’re talking about.

…and besides, would you want to eat something sick and diseased?


Tags:

#vampires #story ideas I will never write

benicebefunny:

Okay, what if–instead of TOS!Uhura or TOS!Kirk or any other TOS character showing up in the AOS verse–Ben Sisko ends up popping into the AOS Enterprise by accident? 

Like, he just appears on the bridge one day, looks around confused for a second, and then says, “Something tells me this is not the timeline I was shooting for.”

Because learning interdimensional travel from a species that has no concept of time is hard, folks. 

And Ben just has to hang out on this shiny Enterprise until his Prophet mom comes by to pick him up.

In the mean time, adventure ensues.


Tags:

#Star Trek #AOS #DS9 #story ideas I will never write

the ideal werewolf novel

crockpotcauldron:

lectorel:

crockpotcauldron:

just looked through about 700 werewolf books, good grief.

most seem to fall into two categories:

  • werewolf serial killer mysteries
  • domineering alpha romances

neither is really what I’m interested in.

here is what I’d want from the werewolf novel of my wildest dreams:

  • good relationships, especially friendships between packmates (lone wolves are boring)
  • werewolves who like being werewolves. (angsty wolves are boring)
  • the practical details of werewolfery: who’s got the bail money for animal control, whether anyone’s microchipped, what you pack in a bag for a night out werewolfing
  • the uses of werewolfery: hiring yourselves out as trackers or canine rescue, getting certified as service dogs, spending your free time at the library letting little kids read to a friendly doggie
  • female werewolves, and no weird gross hypermasculine alpha stuff going on in werewolf culture
  • queer werewolves, and no weird gross heteronormative ‘laws of nature’ stuff going on in werewolf culture
  • dog jokes.

The standard urban fantasy female protagonist dating a werewolf who is not an alpha. Bonus points for it being a cute beta werewolfess who thinks her girlfriend’s perpetual posturing as the ‘baddest bitch on the block’™ is the most adorable thing ever. Extra bonus points for fuzzy baby werewolves and adopted babies. (Because actual wolf packs? Exist to raise children. They’re family units, focused around rearing cubs.)

#werewolves #queer wolves #werewolves as the foster parents of the supernatural world #if there’s a kid so much as sniffling in their general vicinity they’re going to get adopted #the fae discovered that they could straight-up hand off changlings to werewolf packs #no deception needed #magic using children of mundane parents who can’t handle it? #every pack has a dozen of them #fic ideas

 

okay this is one of the cutest reblogs I’ve gotten. 

imagine it

werewolves just going YES FAMILY GOOD and adopting everyone and making sure they get attention and food and understand that it’s fine to be who you are and that you’re not alone, you’re pack now

and the kids that can’t turn into wolves get to ride on the dogsleds to make sure they’re not left out during the full moon family bonding time (… you have to be an adult to pull a dogsled. mistakes have been made.)

werewolves on the PTA. werewolf den mothers. werewolf little league coaches. werewolves filling the bleachers and auditioriums and dance halls and galleries, cheering for their kids. werewolves helping kids with their homework, werewolves sewing costumes for the school play, werewolves showing kids how to change a tire

werewolves with battered kitchen tables with chewed legs. werewolves with huge family dinners. werewolves ferrying pies and casseroles and fresh baked bread back and forth between family members’ houses. werewolf extended families. massive werewolf packs that are technically only about 25% werewolf but still definitely packs

puppy teeth being left for the tooth fairy. fangs being left for the tooth fairy. cuttlebones being left for the tooth fairy. stolen teeth being left for the tooth fairy. werewolves with giant families full of kids with different needs and species.

werewolves adopting everyone. werewolves fostering everyone. werewolves who wind up with dozens of kids, all of whom are family and therefore pack.


Tags:

#werewolf #story ideas I will never write

Anonymous asked: DS9’s wormhole aliens saying “that gum you like is going to come back in style.”

tinsnip:

kittyknowsthings:

tinsnip:

Delicious side benefits of being the Emissary:

–dictating fashion trends

–”the colour of the season will be… FUCHSIA”

–time for a hazelnut revival, hazelnuts in ALL THINGS, the Prophets HAVE SPOKEN

I see Garak tearing his hair out in frustration as more and more Bajoran youths (and some of the elder people) start to copy Jake’s clothing – because after all, he’s the son of the Emissary – trying to sneakishly improve the poor boy’s fashion sense to stop the constant assault at his retinas. Then he figures that the moment Benjamin compliments somebody on anything, it is sold out within hours – but so has Quark, so a war of strategic product placement begins. 

‘GOOD MORNING COMMANDER DO YOU LIKE THIS JUMJA STICK’


Tags:

#Star Trek #DS9 #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog

finding-flight:

Okay, but imagine a medieval adventure fantasy where asexuals sell their services to parties who have to travel past sirens/incubi/succubi in order to fulfill their quests.

Imagine young witches and warlocks going through a final wizardry test where they have to square off against every magical creature they’ve ever learned about, and everyone is really confused as to how that one team just strolled past the sirens/incubi/succubi, and also as to why afterwards they high-fived, said “Aced it!” and then laughed for ten minutes straight.

Imagine a villain dousing a hero with a love potion and then unshackling her, expecting mindless devotion, only to have her then stab him and say “I’m aromantic, actually.”

Imagine an incubus carefully choosing a target and ending up on her couch with a tub of ice cream as she assures him that he is really good at his job and he can’t help it that he happened to pick an ace target.

Imagine an ace sailor who has to tie up his companions in the hold and sail the ship by himself whenever they encounter mermaids, and since it’s just him it’s really slow going, and he spends the entire time griping about allosexuals to the mermaids, who in turn gripe about how sick they are of having to target sailors before the sailors target them.

Imagine a love god trying to set up a pair of aro ace soulmates and putting them in increasingly romantic and/or risque situations, only to pull his hair out in frustration as they ignore or fix every situation and just become better and better friends.

Just like, fantasy asexuals, y’all.


Tags:

#asexuality #aromanticism #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #story ideas I will never write