ilzolende:

goddamnshinyrock:

please take a moment to imagine the Federation version of Eurovision as @swordfern and I have envisioned it, in a post-DS9 peaceful future:
-Bajor does something very soothing with hand percussion and like…. background eurythmy dancing but the lyrics are utterly heart-wrenching.
-Betazed is always a fan favorite- they really get into the pop ballads and impressive choreography, and of course always cause ~feelings~
-Romulans do the super intimidating acts like that one song about Moskau.
-Klingons just do fucking opera every time.
-Andorians do… whatever the andorian version of death metal is. imagine andorian headbanging. just imagine it.
-the new Cardassian Republic, when it finally gains admittance, is intensely earnest and a bit disco. No one really knows how to react to this.
-Vulcan sends one person with a Vulcan lute and they play an extremely logical arrangement extremely well, with no dancers or any illogical frippery… and they repeat this each year. No one ever votes for Vulcan.

  • Okay, but what we really want to know is “who sings the equivalent to ‘Irlande Douze Pointe’?”.
  • “We are Bajorans, so why is our song almost completely in Reduced-Ambiguity Simplified Vulcan every. single. year?”
  • “Who invited the Ferengi, this is the Federation Video Media Association Song Contest, and are they in the Federation? I sure don’t think so.”
  • Ganymede separatists getting upset that they can’t bring their flag because it’s political, and why are they stuck being treated as just “part of the set of human habitations around Jupiter” anyway, why must people take “United Federation of Planets” so literally these days, ugh.
  • Actually, is this by species or by planet or what?

Tags:

#Star Trek #story ideas I will never write #Eurovision

prokopetz:

prokopetz:

Concept: a law office that specialises in helping people weasel around life-ruining curses by rules-lawyering their terms and conditions.

(Their greatest professional rivals are a consulting firm who specialise in advising evil wizards on the nuances of curse wording.)


Tags:

#fun with loopholes #story ideas I will never write


{{next post in sequence}}

blastfarmer asked: Random legal question. Assuming that the Force existed, that Force users were rare but generally indistinguishable from the general population, that Force users had occasionally committed crimes, that there was a easy way of identifying Force users in a crowd by deploying bugs that swarmed Force-sensitives: would current American jurisprudence support governments deploying those bugs in a) government facilities b) public spaces in order to identify Force users in case of Force-related crime?

dagny-hashtaggart:

Hmm. Interesting question.

A lot of that would come down to whether force sensitive people were considered a protected class. There’s nothing in the Civil Rights Act that would specifically protect people from discrimination on the basis of force sensitivity (it has certain features of both race and religion, but probably not enough to qualify as either in legal terms), but in a world in which the force was known to be a thing when the act was passed, it might have been. Probably the best argument for them would be the precedent from Carolene Products, which states that the court will apply heightened scrutiny to laws concerning “discrete and insular minorities.” “Insular” here means essentially that there are substantial or insurmountable barriers to changing one’s status on that axis: race is a clear example, religion is a bit more mixed but typically still counts, profession clearly doesn’t qualify. In that respect, force sensitive people clearly do qualify (assuming that it’s genetic or otherwise innate, as in Star Wars).

So, such a law would already be questionable on Fourteenth Amendment grounds. The other major objection I can see is Fourth Amendment search and seizure doctrine. Bugs swarming an individual sounds pretty damn invasive and contrary to “the right of the people to be secure in their persons” in both principle and precedent. I’m not all that up on profiling law, but there are limits on suspicionless searches more generally: it was that, for instance, that wound up dooming the controversial Florida law mandating drug tests for welfare recipients.

To keep a law from being struck down on those grounds, and particularly given the minority interest at stake, the government would need to demonstrate that the law served a compelling state interest, and did so in a manner that restricted rights and liberties as little as possible while still serving that interest. To take the drug test example above: courts have ruled that mandatory suspicionless drug tests are permissible for city bus drivers, because driving a bus while under the influence would create the potential for far greater harm than an addict receiving food stamps. So the first question would be how much danger force-using criminals created. On that count I could see the government having a pretty strong argument: telekinesis, mind control, and the ability to kill a person without detectable weapons all have strong criminal potential, and I could see a crackdown happening if a force user assassinated a major public figure, for instance. It seems like the bug solution would have a hard time with the least restrictive means test, though, given both how invasive it is, and the fact that it identifies force sensitive individuals rather than force users specifically, let alone force users who have recently used the force to commit crimes or have access to powers of particular concern.

In sum, I could see it being used in areas with substantial security (courthouses, military and police offices, etc.), but I don’t think courts would take kindly to it being deployed in most public spaces.

 

blastfarmer:

Building from this, there are so many different and weird directions a writer could take this Force-bugs!USA in.

A selection of news ledes:

The FBI violated the Fourth Amendment by planting Force-bee hives near the entrance of a county courthouse in the Bay Area, a federal judge has ruled. 

Police officers deployed Force bees after a recent spate of Force choking, arrested residents of swarmed houses, and searched the premises. Despite obtaining a warrant for the search that resulted in the arrest and conviction of choker Anakin Skywalker, Judge Kenobi has thrown out the conviction as a result of an overly-broad search warrant.

Force bees from hives known to belong to out-of-state Drug Enforcement Agency hives were seen by National Lawyers Guild observers during recent protests in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Several alleged Force-sensitives were arrested by police during the protests after bees swarmed the protesters.

YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHICH CELEBRITIES ARE FORCE-SENSITIVE! We went undercover with a swarm of bees to find out.

A honeybee farmer was attacked today in an apparent case of mistaken identity, after Force bees swarmed several houses in northern Maine.

Leading chemical research and development company Nüdrugs is proud to announce Force Off™, a line of Force bee repellants. The product is already in deployment with military and government customers, and is now being release on the open market for family and household use.

The Force Off brand of Force bee repellants contain synthetic pheromones that differ per batch, and appear designed to allow tracking of users, a Cornell research team announced Tuesday.


Tags:

#can’t vouch for the accuracy of the legal stuff but this is entertaining #Star Wars

plain-dealing-villain:

dagny-hashtaggart:

plain-dealing-villain:

dagny-hashtaggart:

chessys:

the purge but in reverse everything is illegal for 24hrs so we all just go to bed and be quiet for a bit

But if everything is illegal, what disincentive would there be to commit illegal acts? If the punishment for taking a shower is the same as for murder, that’s not much deterrent to murder. (Complete the Syndrome line: “if everything is illegal…”)

The purge in reverse would pretty much be the purge not in reverse.

#but with more cops running around#which could make things either more or less chaotic

But enforcing the law would also be illegal!

So the cops would also have to arrest one another! And possibly themselves! And possibly failing to arrest people would also be illegal! (Depending on whether we’re talking solely about positive acts, or if it’s assumed that all inaction is also illegal on grounds of failing duties of care.)

So yeah, definitely leaning toward “more chaotic” upon further reflection.

“Wakolski, get in here, we need all hands on deck for antipurge day.”

“Sorry, Chief, I can’t do that. It’s illegal.”

“Skipping work today is illegal! I’ll send someone over there right now to arrest you if you aren’t here in 30.”

“Who, Daniels? He can’t, that’s illegal, too.”

citizen-zero:

So in lore, vampires have this trait that I’ve almost never seen used, and that’s the fact that vampires are OBSESSED with counting things. Like, the Count on Sesame Street was almost certainly created specifically as a vampire because of this piece of lore.

Like, I read this vampire book years and years ago that explained that a surefire way to protect yourself from vampires getting into your house was to spread a ton of seeds on your doorstep–poppy and mustard seeds were particularly recommended for the purpose. Basically, if you suspected someone to be a vampire, all you had to do was drop a sackful of seeds on the ground in front of them.

If they didn’t immediately start counting them, they were not a vampire. However, if they WERE a vampire, they’d be seized with the urge to count all the seeds and they would not budge from that spot until they knew how many seeds there were in total. The point was to keep them there until the sun came up and killed them, because if they hadn’t counted all the seeds by sunrise they wouldn’t be able to leave. Presumably you could just go about the rest of your evening as normal, though no word on whether it’s possible to make them lose count and start over.

Having remembered this piece of lore, I want fewer stories about brooding tortured Edward Cullen-esque vampires. I want to start seeing more stories about math nerd vampires.

Vampire accountants who are an honest company’s best asset and a corrupt company’s bane because they are frighteningly accurate with the accounts and will not hesitate to blow the whistle on a CEO scamming money because fuck you for making the numbers wrong.

Vampire cashiers that don’t need to look at the register screen because they already mentally calculated your total. 10-items-or-less vampires who know goddamn well you have 20 items in that basket and NO, you cannot just slip in with the rest.

Vampire math tutors who are constantly in high demand and have to hold lotteries to see who gets to be tutored by them.

MATH NERD VAMPIRES


Tags:

#vampires #story ideas I will never write

beckyh2112 asked: For the AU meme, if you’re still taking requests: Han Solo, accidental Jedi knight

deadcatwithaflamethrower:

haruka89:

hamelin-born:

suzukiblu:

oops accidental bonus headcanons because JEDI KNIGHT HAN SOLO, oooooops oh well too late now! 

  • “It’s LUCK, kid,” Han scoffs dismissively, then proceeds to grab up the lightsaber himself and turn on the training droid, then close his eyes and nail every single bolt before knocking the thing right out of the air. “Also, see that, you don’t even NEED the Force to do that.” “… perhaps, but that was the Force you just did that with,” Obi-Wan replies slowly. “What,” Han says. 
  • It was definitely the Force. “I AM NOT A JEDI,” Han Solo yells as he is dragged kicking and screaming into Jedi training by the power of Luke’s excitement at not being the only one suffering the indignity of getting hit in the ass by randomized droid blaster-shots, literally just that. Also Obi-Wan tells him he might be able to shave half a parsec off the Kessel Run, if he hones his Force-sense finely enough, which, well, FINE then. BUT ONLY FOR THE KESSEL RUN. 
  • “I have a bad feeling about this.” 
  • “I HAVE A VERY BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS.”
  • “DID I MENTION THE BAD FEELING THAT I HAVE ABOUT THIS BECAUSE IT IS AN INCREASINGLY BAD FEELING.” 
  • Leia is so appalled by the state of the Jedi in this galaxy. “Sorry, sweetheart, we can’t all be bright-eyed little beacons of galactic hope,” Han says, smashing a Stormtrooper over the head with his lightsaber hilt. The blade is blue but NO ONE WOULD FUCKING KNOW, CONSIDERING HOW RARELY HE USES THE DAMN THING. Generally speaking Jedi Knight Han Solo uses his lightsaber as A) a laser cutter and B) a blunt instrument. Obi-Wan is dead and he is STILL going to die of shame on behalf of the Order. 
  • “WHY ARE WE ON THIS HELLISH SWAMP PLANET AND HOW DO WE GET OFF IT YESTERDAY.” 
  • The amount of gimer-stick whaps that Han Solo suffers has not been seen in the galaxy since Yan Dooku was a snotty little baby padawan who couldn’t be assed to pay attention to anything not saberplay for more than fifteen seconds at a time. 
  • Lando takes one look at Han Solo holding a lightsaber and laughs for TEN THOUSAND YEARS. Chewbacca is like THANK YOU, AT LAST SOMEONE ELSE SEES THE FUCKING HILARITY OF THIS SITUATION, THANK YOU, CALRISSIAN. 
  • “Dark Side my fine Corellian ASS, I’ll show you the fucking DARK SIDE, YOU PIECE OF BANTHA SHIT, LET ME AT HIM–” 

(*Laughing helplessly*). Honestly, I think that even Vader would be speechless when confronted with Han Solo, Jedi Knight. The Dark Lord of the Sith hasn’t seen a Force-User this foul-mouthed, this rebellious, this angry, this full of sarcasm and biting wit since – since –

Vader abruptly realizes that he hasn’t seen a Jedi Knight like this since Anakin Skywalker. Except Han is taking all those traits and cranking them up to eleven. He is quietly convinced that, somewhere, Obi-Wan is laughing in the Force.

Just imagine Han Solo with telekinesis, though. Imagine it. Imagine all the things he could get up to with it, imagine how Han, already an absolute menace at sabbac, becomes downright unbeatable (”It’s training!” Han yells as he’s dragged away from the gambling table. “Heightening awareness and control, and let go of my kid, did you see that hand – “)

@deadcatwithaflamethrower

*cackle*


Tags:

#Star Wars #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog

queenofzan:

all i want is more mundane shows in sci-fi and fantasy verses

i just want friends, but set on ds9, and they had to pull some strings to keep their quarters on the habitat ring next to each other with the nice view of the wormhole, and they sit around shooting the shit and loitering in the promenade and having like dating crises and in the background the star fleet officers are running and yelling and the station goes to red alert and they’re like “ugh we just got comfortable!!!”

when the environmental controls fail they have to split up by species gravity tolerance and put all the breakables in someone’s bedroom

one of them works part time as a dabo girl but we never see them at quarks, we just hear complaining about the boss and sometimes horrendous work outfits

i want like “my dog got stuck in the station ventilation shaft, we have to sneak it out before star fleet notices”

 

queenofzan:

Deep Space 90210

CSI: Bajor

community, but in space, at the shitty knock off academy that people who didn’t test into star fleet go to, for fucking interstellar trucking or something

featuring a pseudo jeff winger who’s an academy washout and he’s always like WELL IN STAR FLEET and everyone else like groans and throws crumpled up candy wrappers at him

TEEN WORF

i want fucking war horse, but set during the cardassian occupation on bajor

goddamn patriot about like kahless or something, fighting to unify klingons against a larger threat and with inexplicable modern accents and clothing

goddamn pocahontas in space, with first contact, where it makes no sense with what we actually know about. physics. and history in the larger world. and it’s obvious propaganda

(like i couldn’t think of an example like pocahontas that wasn’t. just as racist. but like! if you want your weird romantic colonialism, just set it in space, with fake history, and no one will know my guys! no one will be mad you aged up the fucking vulcan princess or whatever and then we can all enjoy this ridiculous story and the talking sand dunes or whatever)

HOUSE HUNTERS BUT IN SPACE! THIS INTERSPECIES COUPLE NEEDS QUARTERS ON A STATION THAT CAN DO BOTH OXYGEN AND CHLORINE ATMOSPHERES….PLUS A BIG KITCHEN FOR ENTERTAINING like please. spcae

real housewives of alpha centauri b

the office, but in space, about the small self-sealing stem bolt company that gets a boost in sales after they accidentally make a huge sale to the new federation-run space station outside bajor

  • manager: why would they order from the federation if they didn’t breath oxygen
  • me: *looks into the camera like in The Space Office*

THE DEADLIEST CATCH, BUT WITH STUPID SCI-FI ANIMALS

it’s always sunny on rigel 7

i could go all day hollywood call me you can reuse whatever’s in the backlots and the rental houses i don’t care man! just! do it! space!

 

nehirose:

ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE easy to reblog post compilations ANYWAY I WANT

ALL

ANY

OF THESE

also for the new people in the back: i may look like all the crying about nerds in space i do is about star wars, but let me assure you. that i am ALWAYS crying about any given franchise with ‘star’ in the name at basically any time, ever.

 

jeshala:

ONCE AGAIN FOR THOSE WHO MISSED IT:

Eye-batting Garak

 

hazeymarie:

My mom is requesting NCIS: Cosmos

 

nehirose:

YES GOOD

 

glitterspacequeen:

IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY ON RIGEL 7

 

piraterogue:

PunQ’d. Q’s pranks people all throughout the neutral zone, but always where Picard will find out about it, juuuust to annoy him.

 

patrickat:

House Hunters: Interstellar. Tom and Becky have a home on the Terran Moon along the shores of the Sea of Tranquility, but now they’re in the market for a vacation property on Risa. Their budget is 1.2 million bars of gold pressed latinum.


Tags:

#Star Trek #story ideas I will never write

Hentaiculture: The Vampire Duchies Of Otdykh

{{previous post in sequence}}


smut-theory:

brin-bellway:

smut-theory:

(Content warning: Hypnosis, bondage, neither of those being what you were thinking of, vampirism, polyamory, sort-of romanticizing mental illness,  enormous cultural ruses, pandering to submitters [maybe])

This is a new column, where we will be building and detailing a hentai-focused or otherwise lewd culture. We’ll start with the condensed core idea, for those who prefer the short and sweet little nugget they can then build up in their own minds. Then, we’ll go into less necessary details, building up the world and culture and society. And then, at the end, a review from the author, explaining the decisions made and why. 

 

THE SHORT AND SWEET

The Vampire Duchies of Otdykh are known to foreigners as a cold, barren, windswept place, divided up between immortal predators, where all humans are the thralls of a cruel, blood-thirsty master who controls their minds and drinks from their hearts. This is all a ruse. Vampires have the power of hypnosis, not mind control, and cannot force someone to go against their own wishes or alter their thoughts. And they feed from people’s hearts, meaning that even more important than getting people’s blood, is getting those people to LIKE them. Instead of cruel masters, vampires are service tops.

When a band of vampires hungers, they will take a handful of villagers and spirit them away to the vampire castle or manor. The villagers will be hypnotized into a deep, relaxing trance, be bound in restraints (to prevent them wiggling during the blood draining process and causing injury), and then fawned over, having all their needs cared for better than they could do to themselves if they were not bound. In their deep, relaxed hypnotic trance, they are sexually pleasured at whatever pace they find comfortable, or simply massaged if that is their preference. They’re fed opulently, by vampires and vampiresses in sexy Gothic outfits, to keep their body recovering the blood they lose. All the while, they are encouraged to offload any troubles or burdens from their minds to their ‘masters’, who listen attentively and provide support, encouragement, or advice, which sometimes is more effective due to the trance. After a week or so, the villagers are freed from bondage and trance, happier but probably a bit lightheaded, given an excuse note to show their employer, and sent back on their way.

Vampires themselves reproduce through converting other humans into vampires intentionally. Since vampires are so fundamentally insecure, this is not something to be taken on lightly, as it’s kind of like inflicting a mental illness on someone so they can understand you better – for this reason vampires only do it to people who know what it entails, and usually only offer to people who seem insecure anyway. Vampires organize in small bands of 3 to 8, and rely on each other for emotional support much more than tangible service. Everyone in the band is lovers with everyone else, romancing as equals, their presence able to assure one another ‘it’s okay, don’t listen to those thoughts that people don’t like you, because I am here and I prove you are worthy of love.’


DETAILS

Many stories about how terrible vampires are were spread by vampires themselves, for two reasons: to keep their lands from having an influx of people they can’t afford to take care of, and so they don’t feel like people are laughing at them for being wusses. The need to be liked is stronger the closer a person is to a vampire, so for faraway people they will never feed on, it’s okay to be feared instead of liked when the alternative is being a laughingstock. They also spread the story that direct sunlight will kill them – it doesn’t kill them, but it makes them as disoriented and confused as a drunken seven-year-old who just stumbled out of a showing of Eraserhead, which not only makes them vulnerable to being killed by anyone who wants to, it’s humiliating and they don’t want others to see them that way.

Vampires are insecure down to a physiological level: their need for other people to LIKE them, especially the ones they feed on, especially especially those under their ‘control’, is as real as living things’ need for oxygen. Tales of the experience of a newly-risen vampire, overwhelmed with the thirst for the blood of the living? Yeah, that’s because it sounds cooler than an overwhelming wave of “Oh God oh God what if they don’t like me I want them to like me so bad!” Blood from a human who actually likes the vampire is exponentially more fulfilling, physically and psychologically, than any other. Blood from someone who likes you is as filling as, say, a 3-course meal from a restaurant with 3 Michelin Stars, after 2 weeks starving in the desert. Blood from someone who hates or fears you is like trying to chase off heroin withdrawal by huffing paint thinner.

Otdykh vampires pretend – even to their mortal subjects – they are only vassals of a great and secretive Vampire King, and that’s why their polities are merely “duchies”. This is another lie. Yeah, centuries ago they tried to have a Vampire King, but it just didn’t work – the crushing psychological need to have that many people like you is completely overwhelming. The last would-be Vampire King, four hundred years ago, went on a crying jag that lasted a couple weeks, long enough to send him into a torpid sleep that he hasn’t risen from since. The other vampires visit his castle and leave little presents outside his coffin sometimes, in case he’s occasionally poking his head out. Don’t let that give you the idea that vampires are incompetent rulers, though – with smaller groups of vassals, they do very well, responsive to their people’s needs (though keeping odd office hours), and the satisfaction they have after feeding from someone who actually likes them, even from just getting affirmation of their subjects’ appreciation and loyalty, is an elation greater than anything they could experience in their mortal lives. When the first republics arose, there was a treatise by an Otdykh-ian political philosopher decrying it due to the obvious superiority of absolute monarchy at meeting the needs of subjects; this confused the hell out of pretty much everyone else in the world.

Vampires also have a large influence on the culture and art of Otdykh, beyond the fact that vampire artists have a lot more experience at it than the human ones and sort of lead tastes and trends. During their blood-draining spa sessions, they encourage people to write horror stories and create art and architecture in the Gothic style, talking up anyone who has an interest in those genres. Partially, this is to aid their efforts to keep the real nature of vampire rulership a secret. Mostly, it’s because vampires all think horror stories and Gothic art are fucking cool as Hell. After all they do for the human population, and the little they ask in return, people are more than willing to go along with those requests. Those vampires are pretty likable folks, after all! Of course, it’s inevitable, after the invention of mass communications, that the secret gets out eventually. The plan the vampires have come up with is, as soon as the secret gets out, start broadcasting the truth about their feeding sessions, inviting everyone to come and join, in the creepiest tone of voice and most dead-eyed expressions they can manage, and play it off as a “obvious ploy by monsters to trick people into their lair” kinda deal.

The relationships between vampires in their groups are the most important ones they have, as the only people they can relate to as equals, and completely drop all pretense around, and who understand what they are going through. Given every one of them can produce just as much mental anguish as alleviate it, their poly-amorous organization is almost necessary to ensure that SOMEONE has their shit together at any given time.


COMMENTARY

The first installment of this column was originally going to be something completely different, that I realized was just too specific and futa-intensive to be the first installment. Then, on reading the reader submission in response to “Finding My Common Thread I”, I thought to myself, “Yeah, I HAVEN’T seen any hypnosis stuff that isn’t about mind control.” This would be a better choice for the first column – and, plus, it had a guaranteed audience of at least one, who was underserved by the current market!

Since this has to be about a culture, it’s a worldbuilding exercise after all, it can’t just be “a person hypnotizes someone to relax them” – it has to be a culture where it happens often. As the other culture was going to be fantasy-based, and I may want to link them with opportunities to others to contribute to an overall “setting”, fantasy was a good idea here instead of sci-fi. What fantasy creatures can hypnotize people? Naga/lamia, vampires, and mind flayers. Mind flayers are really a D&D thing, naga are supposed to be about crushing power, so that leaves vampires. 

So, why do vampires hypnotize people, but not control them? For their benefit. Why are vampires doing things for other people’s benefit? Well, maybe instead of blood, they feed on happiness – so they need to make people happy. They are service tops! Now, vampires who appear powerful but are secretly emotionally vulnerable are always popular, and since this is about not being sinister, I decide “I need people to like me” is a better way to put it than “feeds on happiness”, and I say they need the blood too, to make it more defined and tangible (and throw a bone to anyone with a bloodplay kink). Vampires are associated with Russia and Eastern Europe, so I name the country “Otdykhat”, which Google Translate tells me means “relax” with the connotation of “like what you do at a spa.” Then, about thirty seconds after I post, someone who speaks Russian wakes up in the middle of the night and informs me this is the infinitive verb form, and it should be “Otdykh”, so I fix it hopefully before anyone notices.

Now that we have non-sinister, emotionally vulnerable vampires as service tops, I figure that the rest should be exactly what you expect the aesthetics and associations of vampires to be – misty moors, castles overlooking villages of human subjects, Gothic architecture, all that – but invert expectations about dominance. So, the village ruled by the vampire is run very well, since the vampire cares more about their opinion of him than a human ruler (and I can joke they accidentally invented Moldbug, who thinks it works this way everywhere else). And instead of being an oligarchy at the top, the band of vampires is at the bottom, mutually supporting each other. With that in mind, I cast them as a sort of mentall illness support group, calling to mind comments from people with personality disorders or other such conditions who talk about how amazingly incredibly good it can feel for their specific needs to be met. Hopefully, by tying it to blood consumption (which everyone expects vampires to have) and not making it any specific personality disorder, people who want that dynamic of mentally-ill mutually-supporting polyamory can focus on that primarily, but those who don’t can just see it as “well, it’s pretty much like drinking blood”. I add a bondage element because it goes well with the concept of a “service top” that I see even less than I see service tops: someone who is bound not to make them helpless, but to show they have no need to help themselves. If there is a name for this, I’d love to know it; “power bottom” is definitely not it.

From there, it’s just filling out a couple of details – think of a couple of common things people deal with, and imagine what they do. For a joke I wanted to make in the original Hentaiculture, I was going to say that television had been invented, so I could say that they had telenovelas that were completely fucking bananas. So, if vampires are keeping up appearances of being evil, TV is going to be a problem – I’ll say, they plan to act really obviously like North Korea, so people say “well, that’s an awful attempt at pretending everything is fine”.  The old “lying by saying true things in a way that makes people think you’re making it up” trick is always funny to me, so it’s in. Now that I have established they influence culture to keep their secret, specifying they keep everything looking dark and Gothic just because they think that shit looks cool is a character-building dial-back: some of the stuff they do for their Secret Goal, some of it they do because it’s just neat. While dialing back, I see an opportunity to not make it a unified kingdom, and show their system breaking down and failing in a way that doesn’t hurt a lot of people: they are well able to rule small areas, and that is all nice and cool, but they can’t handle having a lot of people under them, so they don’t have Maximal Rulership.

 

So, did it work? Did you enjoy the vampire duchies, or the format in which they were presented – and what could be done to either to make them better? What sorts of cultures, fetishes, or combinations thereof would you like to see in the future? Please, let us know!

Aww, for me? That’s so sweet!

Re: whether the pandering* worked,

While I do platonically love worldbuilding, the nature (to me, anyway) of broad overviews rather than detailed scenes is to be limited in hotness. It’s got some promise as a foundation on which to build, though.

I’m rather sensitive to repetitive descriptions in erotica, so to me you seem slightly too fond of the word “relax”. Also, I can’t quite place my finger on it, but the piece has a vaguely unpolished feel to it. I mean, that does make sense, since you couldn’t have started writing it longer than a day or two ago, but I thought I’d mention it.

*I’d have used “bottom” rather than “submitter”, but I suppose there’s no point in starting that argument again.

Well, some people do enjoy the broad-strokes worldbuilding, because it gives them a framework in which to construct mental scenarios. Or stories. Or art.

The Monster Girl Encyclopedia setting never really detailed any specific scenes, just ecology, but it became a fully-fledged setting with stories and fanart! Maybe some fanartists wanna get on that? ;-)

(also ‘submitter’ meant ‘person who made the submission to the blog’)

“(also ‘submitter’ meant ‘person who made the submission to the blog’)“

Oh, I see. That makes sense.


Tags:

#reply via reblog #sexuality and lack thereof #nsfw #long post

Hentaiculture: The Vampire Duchies Of Otdykh

{{previous post in sequence}}


smut-theory:

(Content warning: Hypnosis, bondage, neither of those being what you were thinking of, vampirism, polyamory, sort-of romanticizing mental illness,  enormous cultural ruses, pandering to submitters [maybe])

This is a new column, where we will be building and detailing a hentai-focused or otherwise lewd culture. We’ll start with the condensed core idea, for those who prefer the short and sweet little nugget they can then build up in their own minds. Then, we’ll go into less necessary details, building up the world and culture and society. And then, at the end, a review from the author, explaining the decisions made and why. 

 

THE SHORT AND SWEET

The Vampire Duchies of Otdykh are known to foreigners as a cold, barren, windswept place, divided up between immortal predators, where all humans are the thralls of a cruel, blood-thirsty master who controls their minds and drinks from their hearts. This is all a ruse. Vampires have the power of hypnosis, not mind control, and cannot force someone to go against their own wishes or alter their thoughts. And they feed from people’s hearts, meaning that even more important than getting people’s blood, is getting those people to LIKE them. Instead of cruel masters, vampires are service tops.

When a band of vampires hungers, they will take a handful of villagers and spirit them away to the vampire castle or manor. The villagers will be hypnotized into a deep, relaxing trance, be bound in restraints (to prevent them wiggling during the blood draining process and causing injury), and then fawned over, having all their needs cared for better than they could do to themselves if they were not bound. In their deep, relaxed hypnotic trance, they are sexually pleasured at whatever pace they find comfortable, or simply massaged if that is their preference. They’re fed opulently, by vampires and vampiresses in sexy Gothic outfits, to keep their body recovering the blood they lose. All the while, they are encouraged to offload any troubles or burdens from their minds to their ‘masters’, who listen attentively and provide support, encouragement, or advice, which sometimes is more effective due to the trance. After a week or so, the villagers are freed from bondage and trance, happier but probably a bit lightheaded, given an excuse note to show their employer, and sent back on their way.

Vampires themselves reproduce through converting other humans into vampires intentionally. Since vampires are so fundamentally insecure, this is not something to be taken on lightly, as it’s kind of like inflicting a mental illness on someone so they can understand you better – for this reason vampires only do it to people who know what it entails, and usually only offer to people who seem insecure anyway. Vampires organize in small bands of 3 to 8, and rely on each other for emotional support much more than tangible service. Everyone in the band is lovers with everyone else, romancing as equals, their presence able to assure one another ‘it’s okay, don’t listen to those thoughts that people don’t like you, because I am here and I prove you are worthy of love.’


DETAILS

Many stories about how terrible vampires are were spread by vampires themselves, for two reasons: to keep their lands from having an influx of people they can’t afford to take care of, and so they don’t feel like people are laughing at them for being wusses. The need to be liked is stronger the closer a person is to a vampire, so for faraway people they will never feed on, it’s okay to be feared instead of liked when the alternative is being a laughingstock. They also spread the story that direct sunlight will kill them – it doesn’t kill them, but it makes them as disoriented and confused as a drunken seven-year-old who just stumbled out of a showing of Eraserhead, which not only makes them vulnerable to being killed by anyone who wants to, it’s humiliating and they don’t want others to see them that way.

Vampires are insecure down to a physiological level: their need for other people to LIKE them, especially the ones they feed on, especially especially those under their ‘control’, is as real as living things’ need for oxygen. Tales of the experience of a newly-risen vampire, overwhelmed with the thirst for the blood of the living? Yeah, that’s because it sounds cooler than an overwhelming wave of “Oh God oh God what if they don’t like me I want them to like me so bad!” Blood from a human who actually likes the vampire is exponentially more fulfilling, physically and psychologically, than any other. Blood from someone who likes you is as filling as, say, a 3-course meal from a restaurant with 3 Michelin Stars, after 2 weeks starving in the desert. Blood from someone who hates or fears you is like trying to chase off heroin withdrawal by huffing paint thinner.

Otdykh vampires pretend – even to their mortal subjects – they are only vassals of a great and secretive Vampire King, and that’s why their polities are merely “duchies”. This is another lie. Yeah, centuries ago they tried to have a Vampire King, but it just didn’t work – the crushing psychological need to have that many people like you is completely overwhelming. The last would-be Vampire King, four hundred years ago, went on a crying jag that lasted a couple weeks, long enough to send him into a torpid sleep that he hasn’t risen from since. The other vampires visit his castle and leave little presents outside his coffin sometimes, in case he’s occasionally poking his head out. Don’t let that give you the idea that vampires are incompetent rulers, though – with smaller groups of vassals, they do very well, responsive to their people’s needs (though keeping odd office hours), and the satisfaction they have after feeding from someone who actually likes them, even from just getting affirmation of their subjects’ appreciation and loyalty, is an elation greater than anything they could experience in their mortal lives. When the first republics arose, there was a treatise by an Otdykh-ian political philosopher decrying it due to the obvious superiority of absolute monarchy at meeting the needs of subjects; this confused the hell out of pretty much everyone else in the world.

Vampires also have a large influence on the culture and art of Otdykh, beyond the fact that vampire artists have a lot more experience at it than the human ones and sort of lead tastes and trends. During their blood-draining spa sessions, they encourage people to write horror stories and create art and architecture in the Gothic style, talking up anyone who has an interest in those genres. Partially, this is to aid their efforts to keep the real nature of vampire rulership a secret. Mostly, it’s because vampires all think horror stories and Gothic art are fucking cool as Hell. After all they do for the human population, and the little they ask in return, people are more than willing to go along with those requests. Those vampires are pretty likable folks, after all! Of course, it’s inevitable, after the invention of mass communications, that the secret gets out eventually. The plan the vampires have come up with is, as soon as the secret gets out, start broadcasting the truth about their feeding sessions, inviting everyone to come and join, in the creepiest tone of voice and most dead-eyed expressions they can manage, and play it off as a “obvious ploy by monsters to trick people into their lair” kinda deal.

The relationships between vampires in their groups are the most important ones they have, as the only people they can relate to as equals, and completely drop all pretense around, and who understand what they are going through. Given every one of them can produce just as much mental anguish as alleviate it, their poly-amorous organization is almost necessary to ensure that SOMEONE has their shit together at any given time.


COMMENTARY

The first installment of this column was originally going to be something completely different, that I realized was just too specific and futa-intensive to be the first installment. Then, on reading the reader submission in response to “Finding My Common Thread I”, I thought to myself, “Yeah, I HAVEN’T seen any hypnosis stuff that isn’t about mind control.” This would be a better choice for the first column – and, plus, it had a guaranteed audience of at least one, who was underserved by the current market!

Since this has to be about a culture, it’s a worldbuilding exercise after all, it can’t just be “a person hypnotizes someone to relax them” – it has to be a culture where it happens often. As the other culture was going to be fantasy-based, and I may want to link them with opportunities to others to contribute to an overall “setting”, fantasy was a good idea here instead of sci-fi. What fantasy creatures can hypnotize people? Naga/lamia, vampires, and mind flayers. Mind flayers are really a D&D thing, naga are supposed to be about crushing power, so that leaves vampires. 

So, why do vampires hypnotize people, but not control them? For their benefit. Why are vampires doing things for other people’s benefit? Well, maybe instead of blood, they feed on happiness – so they need to make people happy. They are service tops! Now, vampires who appear powerful but are secretly emotionally vulnerable are always popular, and since this is about not being sinister, I decide “I need people to like me” is a better way to put it than “feeds on happiness”, and I say they need the blood too, to make it more defined and tangible (and throw a bone to anyone with a bloodplay kink). Vampires are associated with Russia and Eastern Europe, so I name the country “Otdykhat”, which Google Translate tells me means “relax” with the connotation of “like what you do at a spa.” Then, about thirty seconds after I post, someone who speaks Russian wakes up in the middle of the night and informs me this is the infinitive verb form, and it should be “Otdykh”, so I fix it hopefully before anyone notices.

Now that we have non-sinister, emotionally vulnerable vampires as service tops, I figure that the rest should be exactly what you expect the aesthetics and associations of vampires to be – misty moors, castles overlooking villages of human subjects, Gothic architecture, all that – but invert expectations about dominance. So, the village ruled by the vampire is run very well, since the vampire cares more about their opinion of him than a human ruler (and I can joke they accidentally invented Moldbug, who thinks it works this way everywhere else). And instead of being an oligarchy at the top, the band of vampires is at the bottom, mutually supporting each other. With that in mind, I cast them as a sort of mentall illness support group, calling to mind comments from people with personality disorders or other such conditions who talk about how amazingly incredibly good it can feel for their specific needs to be met. Hopefully, by tying it to blood consumption (which everyone expects vampires to have) and not making it any specific personality disorder, people who want that dynamic of mentally-ill mutually-supporting polyamory can focus on that primarily, but those who don’t can just see it as “well, it’s pretty much like drinking blood”. I add a bondage element because it goes well with the concept of a “service top” that I see even less than I see service tops: someone who is bound not to make them helpless, but to show they have no need to help themselves. If there is a name for this, I’d love to know it; “power bottom” is definitely not it.

From there, it’s just filling out a couple of details – think of a couple of common things people deal with, and imagine what they do. For a joke I wanted to make in the original Hentaiculture, I was going to say that television had been invented, so I could say that they had telenovelas that were completely fucking bananas. So, if vampires are keeping up appearances of being evil, TV is going to be a problem – I’ll say, they plan to act really obviously like North Korea, so people say “well, that’s an awful attempt at pretending everything is fine”.  The old “lying by saying true things in a way that makes people think you’re making it up” trick is always funny to me, so it’s in. Now that I have established they influence culture to keep their secret, specifying they keep everything looking dark and Gothic just because they think that shit looks cool is a character-building dial-back: some of the stuff they do for their Secret Goal, some of it they do because it’s just neat. While dialing back, I see an opportunity to not make it a unified kingdom, and show their system breaking down and failing in a way that doesn’t hurt a lot of people: they are well able to rule small areas, and that is all nice and cool, but they can’t handle having a lot of people under them, so they don’t have Maximal Rulership.

 

So, did it work? Did you enjoy the vampire duchies, or the format in which they were presented – and what could be done to either to make them better? What sorts of cultures, fetishes, or combinations thereof would you like to see in the future? Please, let us know!

Aww, for me? That’s so sweet!

Re: whether the pandering* worked,

While I do platonically love worldbuilding, the nature (to me, anyway) of broad overviews rather than detailed scenes is to be limited in hotness. It’s got some promise as a foundation on which to build, though.

I’m rather sensitive to repetitive descriptions in erotica, so to me you seem slightly too fond of the word “relax”. Also, I can’t quite place my finger on it, but the piece has a vaguely unpolished feel to it. I mean, that does make sense, since you couldn’t have started writing it longer than a day or two ago, but I thought I’d mention it.

*I’d have used “bottom” rather than “submitter”, but I suppose there’s no point in starting that argument again.


Tags:

#there are few cases in which gifts of porn to someone you barely know can be appropriate #but one of them is when you are interacting on a kink blog #hence the ‘aww’ reaction #reply via reblog #sexuality and lack thereof #nsfw #long post #vampires


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