(This is a bit of a soft launch, because I won’t have time to devote to this for the next week or two, but I want to get it started anyway…)
Last weekend, there was a bit of a conversation about sex toys and asexuality, so I wanted to create a collaborative space to explore those topics and more. And, well, here it is.
This is a place for aces, graces, and demis to talk about those things that you might feel uncomfortable bringing up in other ace circles. Masturbation. Kink. Sex toys. Partnered sex as an ace. Things sex ed didn’t teach you, but you’re curious about. Sexual activities, non-sexual intimacies, and so on. If it’s inappropriate somewhere else, it’s probably appropriate here.
This space is for aces, by aces, and about aces. There are other places on the Internet that talk about these topics, but very few that explore them from an asexual perspective, in language that makes sense to aces. If you’re not ace, you’re welcome to read what’s here, and may respectfully ask questions or engage in conversations, but always keep in mind that this place is not about you. If you’re disrespectful, intrusive, invasive, or offensive, we will show you the door.
Leave your shame and embarrassment and judgement at the door. No question too weird, no topic too icky. We’ll talk about anything that’s safe and respectful.
That means some of these topics might be outside of your comfort zone. And that’s okay. If it’s not your thing, it’s not your thing, but maybe the next topic will be more your speed. We have a “Don’t yuck my yum” policy around here. That means that it’s uncool to slam someone else for liking something you don’t like. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to say anything about it. You might think some of these things are “weird”, but keep in mind that someone else probably thinks something you like to do is “weird”, too.
We accept submissions and asks (Including anonymous), so if you want to share what you do, how you do it and why you do it, or if you’re just curious about something, please feel free to write in. I see this space as mostly submission driven. It’s about what YOU want to talk about and what YOU want to know. A few ground rules, though:
- 18+ only for submissions and asks. If you’re under 18, someplace like Scarleteen would be a much better place to discuss these issues (Scarleteen is ace-friendly, too!).
- This is not an advice site. We can answer general questions about general things, but I really can’t help with your specific scenario.
- This is not a doctor’s office. If you have a genuine, pressing medical concern, talk to someone qualified about it. I’m not even pretending to play a doctor on the Internet, so what would I know?
- Be open, be truthful, don’t be embarrassed or ashamed.
- Assume positive intent. If someone says something offensive or exclusionary or otherwise troublesome, assume it wasn’t done maliciously. Correct them gently instead of launching a thermonuclear flame war.
- No wankfodder. You can certainly be explicit (In fact, you’re encouraged to be as open and direct as you want), but avoid being deliberately pornographic for prurience sake. You can talk about porn, but don’t be porn. This isn’t Letters to Penthouse or the Lemon tag of AO3.
- Content warnings would be appreciated! They allow you to get as detailed as you like without worrying about who’s reading, while at the same time, give people who aren’t interested a chance to turn away.
And so, with that, the ask box is ready for your questions and the submission box is ready for your posts!
(And one final note, if you are not comfortable with the topics which are being discussed here, I have flagged the entire blog as NSFW and I encourage you to block this so it won’t show up at all (I won’t be offended!). I will try to put appropriate content tags in the posts, and put potentially objectionable images behind a Read More.)
Brinens and Things 