I know almost no Jews irl (family excepted). I know a lot of LW Tumblr people. LW Tumblr is disproportionately Jewish, but also selects strongly for other traits, so sometimes it’s easy to conflate them.
The other day, someone said Jews have boring sex lives, and I thought “But aren’t we all super kinky???”
Tags:
#Judaism #sexuality and lack thereof #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog
how can someone be asexual? i’m glad you asked. obviously i can’t speak for all of us but i for one lost my sexuality in a drunken game of poker against captain jack harkness.
how multisexuals are made: we win our sexuality off the asexuals
us graysexuals have a more nuanced agreement, we get our sexuality back on weekends and on holidays we occasionally borrow someone else’s
sexuality banking
I’m crying! 😂
Fractional reserve sexuality.
Tags:
#asexuality #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog
Well by posting this I am at least raising the possibility.
Speckled false-daisy, flexible ethics, and access to something I’m going to drink.
And what’s your position on love potions?
I’ve heard it’s quite enjoyable. Roughly analogous to recreational use of the Imperius Curse.
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #I don’t know #I’ve heard about what it’s like being in love and I’ve heard about what it’s like being Imperiused #and one of those sounds a lot more fun than the other #I think a large percentage of you know which #sexuality and lack thereof #(romance and sex are intertwined often enough that that tag taken in isolation isn’t really much of a spoiler is it) #(but that tag was) #limerence sounds unpleasantly overwhelming to me really #(I was originally going to phrase the ‘I’ve heard’ tag ‘I’ve heard *stories*’) #(but then I remembered I’ve only actually heard *one* story about what being Imperiused is like) #(the canonical one) #(I’ve never seen any porn involving the Imperius Curse) #((nor any such fics not intended to be sexual)) #(I’ve met a fetishist with strong ties to the Harry Potter fandom and *she* had never seen any porn involving the Imperius Curse) #(as far as I know it is an unfilled niche) #tag rambles
Me: Well then, I guess I just care less about sex than average.
Friend: Huh. Why do you think that is?
Me (sarcastically): Because atheists don’t fornicate.
Friend: OK, no. That is *so* not a thing.
Me: Oh, yeah? How many atheists do you know?
Friend: …One.
Me: And how much do they care about sex?
Friend: *No!* I am *not* buying that! Do you see where all this “logic” gets you!?!?
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog
brin-bellway is a mean vacuum who murders CUTE SOUND BABIES OF CUTENESS because she’s EVIL! She’s almost as murderous as luminousalicorn. She also comes from a country which murdered a CUTE DEMON CORE in order to create a star. Basically, she’s a CUTE THING MURDERER! She’s probably a sofa that eats precious cinnamon rolls, too.
She is also known to hug and feed chocolate bars to cute chicks in tiny hats. This makes the chicks get fat. Like, really fat. brin-bellway is singlehandedly responsible for whale evolution. You didn’t know whales came from fat birbs, did you? Well Science, bitch!
Brin has been known to gossip about people from the distant past. She also stalks and takes pictures of poor, defenseless pollen grains. The pollen grains can’t escape – even across borders. Despite storing dozens of lethal weapons in improbable places, the TSA still thinks that she’s ‘mostly harmless’. That’s right – they call this cuteness-killing stalker harmless. This is the level of incompetence we have come to.
She is a certified Klingon counselor and dude-with-hair in the Silmarillion. She has battled many foes across many fandoms, spreading awful, awful humour in her wake. She’s totally the type of person who would think calling random things degenerate was funny. That’s degenerate.
Calling Random Shit Degenerate: Not Even Once.
Her degeneracy is so extreme that she’s worse than a floral print sofa. She’s a *fainting couch*. A fainting couch for wealthy robot ladies who think too much. She’s the type of couch who wants unambiguous minions of the chaotic efficient variety. They help her beat up the Mean Meanies that scare her Precious Robots.
But that isn’t degenerate enough *either!* We can go *deeper!* Brin is a hypno-fetishist asexual! Yes, asexual fetishist. Life is weird, OK? She wants to have non-sex sex with a pocket watch, or something. I don’t really know. I would educate myself about this, but ozymandias271 has permanently ruined education. Therefore, I will confidently say blatantly ignorant things, like a True Freedom Lover.
Trump 2016.
Follow her blog if you want to faint into a patch cute forget-me-nots, as they get murdered by a vacuum sofa.
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #humour *and* stuff about me! today is a good day #(well okay technically it’s after midnight) #(I need to go to bed) #(also non-sex sex is the *best* kind of sex) #(accept no substitutes)
In which I have the mind-blowing experience to end all mind-blowing experiences, at least until the next one comes along, preceded by a truly terrible dining experience.
Saturday!
What I meant to do: get up early enough to attend classes.
What I actually did: slept in til just before lunch time
Sigh. So apologies (again) to hypno-sandwich and also to daja-the-hypnokitten and hypnosisenthusiast, all of whom had classes that I missed. (Just keep repeating “it’s an UNCON”)
But man do I enjoy sleeping in. It’s one of my favorite things! So the next actual scheduled thing we (myself, Carneggy, and Kat) attended was the catered lunch, which was excellent. There were food and speeches, introductions and awards, and getting to know people. If you were at the table with us and read this please remind me who you are! Because, sigh, it is again all a blur. Part of that is I was still getting to know Kat and spent an awful lot of time focusing on her. Part of that is mind-entropy from not taking notes nightly. (No, that wasn’t a joke, I really did intend at one point to take notes every night.) So please let me know :)
After lunch I had intended to attend krullfelix2002 ‘s story telling class. Yeah, that didn’t happen either. Instead, we went back up to the room and…well you don’t really have to know, right? I’m sure you can guess that there was more getting comfortable happening. Right up until it was time to hit the one class I did attend in full, Carneggy’s Potato/Potatoe discussion. Which was fascinating. I am fairly pathological about being understood, and always try to use exactly the word that means precisely what I want to say, and have MANY MANY times ran into terminology issues where what I was saying and what other people were hearing differed. So very topical and appropriate to my interests.
Which is why I feel fairly bad about admitting that my favorite part of that class was before it even started, when hypno-sandwich grabbed my hair, and theleeallure grabbed my throat, and zanythoughts grabbed my hand, and between the three of them reduced me to a dazed and shaking semblance of a human being, who then had to spend most of the following discussion trying not to obviously shake while pressing my legs together and doing my best to just (fucking focus already!) pay attention to what Carneggy was saying.
I don’t think he minded.
And then it was time for the great meal debacle of MEEHU2 (part 1) – the trip to the Mexican restaurant. Which was chosen because it was close, and therefore faster and more time-efficient.
When the universe makes jokes, it really goes all out.
I waited tables for 14 years, I know of what I speak.
THINGS THE RESTAURANT DID WRONG
1. no splitting checks.
2. food taking almost an hour to arrive
3. food being less than room temperature but more than stone cold when it did finally arrive
4. NEVER bringing the check.
5. Making us late for Hysterical Literature
THINGS THE RESTAURANT DID RIGHT
1. the pineapple margaritas
Just in case you didn’t catch it, I was late to Hysterical Literature. We arrived a little bit into the first reading, zanythoughts performing hypno-sandwich ‘s story “ClickBate”, which I recognized right away since it was part of our first story challenge. What I didn’t realize was that much like in the original videos upon which this presentation was based, zany had a little help under the table. She got through the entire story, which was a real act of willpower! And not coincidentally hotter than hot.
But wait, do you, gentle reader, even know what Hysterical Literature is? Here, go check this out – but be warned, Stoya is definitely NSFW!
Hot, right? Well, in our version, each of us who read got hypnotic coaching beforehand to achieve the same result as Stoya’s hidden vibrator.
Here, as best I can remember, is the lineup that night. (In no particular order. Because reasons. Because I don’t recall who went when until the last of us.)
Well, except obviously…
1 = zanythoughts
We also had: HotPleasure reading from MindPlay
Solarianne reading from the MindPlay Study Guide (which weirdly seems to only be available in the UK right now)
ashcatred reading one of her own (unfuckingbelievably hot) works
RoseSpells and Doomsux reading from an absolutely hilarious radio play (the name of which I do not know, although it sounded very familiar) about trying to remember the title of a movie
hypnokittencalico reading chapter 9 of The Fellowship of the Ring (hobbitsssss!)
dreamdropdazing – who was soooooo funny and soooooo good and sooooo inspired me to go out and get the book from which he was reading- John Hodgman’s “The Areas of My Expertise”
hypnosubdude reading from, I kid you not, a choose your own adventure book called “You Are A Shark”
me, reading chapter one of Harry Potter & The Methods of Rationality, aka the best fanfic of all fanfics ever written and everyone should go out and read it right now, it’s free for crying out loud
and hypno-sandwich, reading from the recent and historic Supreme Court decision on same-sex marriage, which was hands-down the most moving reading of the night. (And I didn’t link to the whole thing, just the article, you can find the whole thing for yourself if you want.)
IT WAS AMAZING. As you can probably imagine, most of us who participated have a certain flair for the dramatic even without the aid of hypnotically induced orgasms. I would go so far as to say that some of us who participated have probably been brought to near orgasm just through performing on some other occasion. (And please let me know if you have!)
After that I got to play a little bit of hypno egg with both Kat and orchid-girl, and found out that the writer of Harry Potter & The Methods of Rationality was interested in having me post a file of my reading online for him. Because his housemates were at MEEHU.
I fucking love this world I live in now.
And then Carneggy, Kat, and I meandered past the con suite and up to the room, and you know, got more comfortable with each other.
Wait–they–what–
…of fucking course Eliezer Yudkowsky’s housemates were at MEEHU. I shouldn’t even be surprised anymore: I already knew that my life (well, Brin’s life, anyway) was a perpetual Orange Volkswagen effect of hypno-fetishists.
(I was wondering where all the MEEHU recaps were. Then I heard you’d gone, and I looked, and apparently they’re all on your blog.)
Tags:
#shut up Brin nobody cares #reply via reblog #sexuality and lack thereof #nsfw #I still don’t have a rationalist tag #I tried to insert a readmore but I couldn’t get it to work right #oh well at least it’s tagged #in that case I should also tag it #long post
{{OP by thursday}}
Tags:
#my tag ramble was *so* long that Tumblr cut off the end #luckily I realised at the last minute that it might do that and took a screenshot of the draft #here is the final bit re-typed: #things make a lot more sense now don’t they? #and that’s just a *single fact* #I have more where that came from #I’m going to teach you sex ed the way that only I can #the way that no one else will ever think to do it #(save for the occasional scattered bits and pieces of truth) #(drowning in misinformation aimed at people for whom *that* is truthful) #just promise me one thing okay? #if you ever manage to reestablish this connection #tell me what you’ve learned and figured out given eight years’ head start #tell me what advice you have for me #so then: let’s get down to business #((a heavily personalised sex-ed class would then follow)) #((but this is very long as it is so I will leave it out of the tag version))
{{OP by thursday}}
Tags:
#so you know how you don’t quite trust devout Jews? #(if you haven’t decided you distrust them yet please forgive me) #(you know how terrible we are at remembering *when* things happened) #(and having a functional ultra-long-term memory compiler–while totally awesome and highly recommended–does not make that easier) #(it just gives you an even *wider* span of time in which the thing may have happened) #(anyway) #it doesn’t quite seem *right* that they’re so enthusiastic about Heritage #and you kind of suspect that given half the chance they would force you into their mould #heedless of what bits they would have to carve off of you to make your proverbial peg fit in that hole? #(and denying all the while that they’re carving you) #(because you have the same Heritage so of course you must already fit) #(they’re only making you see it) #well you had the right idea #but the first time around you didn’t apply it broadly enough #you were born to and raised by feminists #and that makes feminism part of your Heritage too #I’m not saying don’t be friends with enthusiastic feminists #the same way you shouldn’t avoid being friends with enthusiastic Jews #but keep them just a little bit distant #just distant enough that they can’t take a whittling knife to your soul #(and hope like hell that the divergent-timeline butterfly doesn’t have you fall in with a *worse* crowd) #so that’s the bad news #here’s some good news #depending on how far you are into 13 you may have heard of asexuality #and you thought it was great and wished you could be like that #well you *wanted* to be like that because you *are* like that #also: there’s this thing called hypno-fetishism #it’s possible for hypnosis to be *sexual* for some people #no don’t worry I’ll wait here while you re-evaluate your entire life #…
I keep getting ads that say “IS YOUR BOYFRIEND CHEATING?? FIND OUT WITH THIS TRACKING APP’ and I’m trying to figure out which things I have done on the internet put me into the target demographic for those.
#I don’t have a boyfriend #I don’t like boys #I don’t mind if my partners date other people #I do not think installing tracking apps on peoples’ phones is acceptable behavior #I am mildly distressed that my browsing habits make me seem like the sort of person who would #(I have a good reason for not having adblock active in that browser atm)
Maybe they’re just throwing those ads at everyone and seeing where they stick, like those skeevy porn Tumblrs aimed at vanilla gynosexuals who follow anyone they can find as a way of advertising themselves.
…actually, do those indiscriminate ones still exist? I was just wondering that yesterday. Maybe times have changed or maybe it’s because I’m more open about my sexuality on here than I once was, but where I used to get skeevy porn Tumblrs aimed at vanilla gynosexuals, I now get skeevy porn Tumblrs aimed at hypnosis fetishists. I am weirdly pleased the skeevy porn Tumblrs gave enough fucks to bother tailoring their offerings to stuff I might actually be tempted by. (Still not going to follow them, because even without clicking through the preview pop-up alone shows they are skeevy as hell, but I appreciate the effort.)
Tags:
#don’t worry enscenic I’m not including you in this #I think you’re a genuine follower #and not skeevy #reply via reblog #sexuality and lack thereof #advertising
It is categorically impossible to enjoy being unconscious. Why is this so hard to understand?
(Okay, I know, I’m being uncharitable. I suppose it’s possible for people to enjoy having been unconscious or knowing that you will be unconscious. Just, why everyone?)
Tags:
#and by ‘everyone’ I mean the few bottoms #seems like they’re nearly all tops #also thank god for Image Block #sexuality and lack thereof #adventures in ‘close but not quite’ #somnophiles frustrate me #oh look an original post
Brinens and Things 