Concept: the old robot-with-Pinocchio-syndrome bit, except they don’t give a shit about art or love or anything like that; the thing they’re yearning for is something completely off the wall which would never occur to any reasonable human to think of as essential to the human condition, but which the robot is prepared to argue – rigorously, methodically, and at enormous length – is in fact the very heart of what it means to be human.

Some favourites from the notes:

  • Itching
  • Back pain
  • Being bad at video games
  • Freudian slips
  • Cracking open a cold one with the boys
  • Paying taxes
  • Evading taxes
  • The capacity to have cold toes so you have a legitimate reason to wear cool socks
  • Shaving
  • Schadenfreude
  • Seasonal allergies
  • Existential dread

it comes back to tax evasion in the end. it really do be like that


#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #robots #story ideas I will never write #high context jokes #illness mention

{{next post in sequence}}


So one of my neighbors has a lawn Roomba or whatever they’re called, and this thing trundles around looking like a background robot in the background of the original trilogy, and ABSOLUTELY BAFFLING THE DOGS.

They have concluded, I think, that it’s some kind of prey animal because right after this video ended they decided to crouch down and stalk it, which means I’m 90% sure I’m going to have to stop Arwen from eating it at some point.



Of course it’s a prey animal it fucking eats GRASS



While I can’t fault your reasoning on robot taxonomy, apparently we’re both wrong:  Arwen, as much as she is a high-prey-drive animal, is foremost, a herding dog, and has decided that the Lawn Roomba is a SHEEP.

What happened is the lawn roomba belongs to the guy that does most of the maintainence on the neighborhood park, and he had it out grazing on a different section of lawn when my parents came down for a walk and Arwen was siezed by 200 years worth fo Kelpie Instincts, rolled out of her Harness and proceded to herd the shit out of this tiny, oblivious robot.  

Everything was on display- mock-stalking, intimidating eye contact, barking, running in front of it to try to get it to balk, the scariest barking she can muster (which is actually.  pretty scary if you’re not used to Loud Dogs), looking back at my parents for directions.  or rather, looking at my Mom while Dad tried unsuccessuflly to capture her.

After about ten minutes they realized she wasn’t biting it, and decided to let her play Sheep Simulator 5000 for a while. She eventually figured out that 

  • It  doesn’t respond to Yelling, Posturing or Aggressive Eye Contact
  • It does respond to having it’s wheels or bump hazards hit 
  • It would respond to its side being nosed or slapped by moving in a different direction

Conent that this was apparently some kind of blind, deaf and particularly stupid sheep, she could now manage the robot by smacking it if it got too close to the creek bed or fence for her liking, and was eventually content to sit on the highest point of the field and Supervise ™ it.

“Hey.” Said Roger, owner of the robot. “Do you think if I put the ramp down she’ll herd it into the back of my pickup?”

Arwen was mostly asleep in the afternoon sun as roger put the ramp down but woke right up when mom Whistled, then pointed at the truck.  She immediately went after the robot and did something that wouldn’t have occured to me, an allegedly more intelligent being: the robot is roughly triangular, and when it hits an obstacle, will change direction so that one of its other sides (rather than points) is now the ‘front’.  So to get it to move in a straight line in the direction she wanted, Arwen would smack the two sides of the robot that she didn’t want it to go in in quick sucession, and got it across the field, over a small hill and up the ramp as fast as it’s clumsy little wheels could go.

“I didn’t know you had a fully-trained sheepdog!” Said Roger

“Me either.” said Mom.

So Arwen now has a Semi-Weekly Appointment to play with Sheepbot.


#dog #storytime #adorable #robot


There’s a subreddit called r/totallynotrobots where people pretend to be badly-disguised robots. They post cat pictures with captions like “SINCE I AM A HUMAN, THIS SMALL FELINE GENERATES POSITIVE EMOTIONS IN MY CARBON-BASED BRAIN” or something like that.

There’s another subreddit called r/SubSimulatorGPT2, that trains GPT-2 on various subreddits to create imitations of their output.

Now r/SubSimulatorGPT2 has gotten to r/totallynotrobots, which means we get to see a robot pretending to be a human pretending to be a robot pretending to be a human.

Here is a sample:


If only Alan Turing were alive to see this.


#hiding in plain sight #computer generated text #oh my god


concept, prompted by this post:

an android who’s really dense about emotions and social graces and such, and everyone assumes it’s because he’s an android, but halfway through the series it’s revealed that he’s an upload, living in a robot body, of a human guy who’s just like that


#robot #story ideas I will never write




Japanese Sumo robots



this is the funniest gif i’ve seen all week what the fuck is going on



the best part is this isn’t even HALF the relentless bullshit insanity that goes on in robot sumo wrestling, a sport where the contestants are all hyperfast robots with scoop attachments and preprogrammed moves. 

Baby Beyblade

(this one wants to be a beyblade when it grows up)

the idea is to include as many unique moves as you can, to make your shrieking deathbot difficult to counter


or dodging. that works too.

also, some of the speed demons have… unorthodox attachments to fool other bot’s sensors

Wings Motherfucker


robot sumo is also a sport where spectators may end up taking a small robot to the shins if they aren’t careful.



I hope you enjoyed our foray into madness!






Y’all. Looking at professionally made sumo robots is great. You know what’s better though? Looking at extremely UNprofessionally made sumo robots.

Here enjoy.


#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(the dodging) #reminds me of a show I used to watch when I was a kid #what it was called #the one narrated by Craig Charles #*looks it up* #Robot Wars #that show was fun #I’m glad it was narrated by Craig Charles #(if it weren’t for recognising his voice we wouldn’t have stopped on that channel long enough to watch it our first time) #may or may not have reblogged this before

Bat robot takes wing

{{Title link: }}


Bat Bot, a lightweight flier with thin silicone wings stretched over a carbon fiber skeleton, can cruise, dive and bank turn just like its namesake, researchers report February 1 in Science Robotics.

Such a maneuverable machine could one day soar up the towering structures of a construction site, flying in and out of steel beams to help keep track of a building’s progress, study coauthor Seth Hutchinson, a roboticist at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, said in a news briefing January 31.

Other aerial robots, like some drones, aren’t so agile, relying on four whirling rotor blades to lift off the ground, Hutchinson said. These bots also have trouble flying in the wind, because they can exert force in only one direction, he said. Bat Bot’s flexible wings could make it a more versatile flier.

“Bat flight is the holy grail of aerial robotics,” said study coauthor
Soon-Jo Chung, a Caltech aerospace engineer. Bats have more than 40
joints in their wings, which give the animals exquisite control over
their flight maneuvers. Chung and colleagues re-created nine of the key
joints, so their robot could flap its wings in sync, fold each wing
independently and move each of its hind legs up and down. At 93 grams, with a wingspan of 47 centimeters, Bat Bot is roughly the size of an Egyptian fruit bat, Chung said.

Continue reading…



#and on a lighter note #bat #the more you know #the power of science #I just saw this on Daily Planet! #like five minutes ago #apparently it can’t fly if it weighs more than about 100g #it was tricky even getting it light enough that it could support its own weight #definitely not a cargo bot #(which doesn’t stop it from being useful in other ways)