Red vs Blue

john-boyaeger asked: My friend finally made me start watching Season 9 of RvB last night. I’ve been putting it off forever. I kept calling out peoples names and stuff right before they happened, so my friend was like “I thought you have never seen this…” to which I said “I haven’t, but I’ve virtually seen the whole thing in gif form on tumblr at this point.”

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

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eponymous-rose:

brin-bellway:

eponymous-rose:

Hee! Yeah, I always wonder how much people are picking up by osmosis with the bajillion things I reblog. (And hey, I’m in the middle of rewatching s9 right now!)

I also wonder what my blog’s cross-section of the show looks like to the people who’ve never actually watched it. Or the people who quit somewhere in the first five seasons.

While watching the S6 finale, I paused it for a bit to consider how this fit into all the fandom osmosis I’d received. (The thing that made me stop was hearing “when it goes off, I’ll be fine”, which was the quote on that Alpha fanart I can’t find because Tumblr sucks. I believe my exact thought-words were “oh fuck it’s true he’s going to die”.) After thinking it over, I concluded that nobody was actually going to die, because they all appear in gifsets and/or reaction posts set later.

This conclusion turned out to be mostly incorrect. I had vastly underestimated how complicated things like “life” and “death” and “existence” get when Leonard Church enters the picture.

Yeah, you know things are gonna get weird when Church dies in the first few episodes of season one and it doesn’t phase him much. Dude’s got a complicated relationship with reality.

I just really really really love shows that take ridiculous premises and suddenly do a 180 and try to retcon them into something serious. Is that a thing? That should be a thing.

Tags:

#(September 2014) #conversational aglets #Red vs Blue #death tw #red vs blue s6 spoilers

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

epsilontucker:

You know, the Meta was a human being? He had to get food? Where do you think he got it? You think he ransacked Freelancer’s salad bar before he went on his rampage or what? what about after that? Did he buy it? Where’d he get the money? Did he do some mercenary work before he started hunting down freelancers?

Where did he sleep? 

You work at a grocery store on some random outer-colony planet. There is a seven foot tall bald person who has been scarred to shit standing in front of you. His eyes are red and ringed with darkness. He has possibly never slept in his life. There are several carts behind him. He is purchasing an entire aisle of beef jerky. You say ‘have a good day’. He responds with a grunt that sounds like gravel being put through a woodchipper. You don’t know what he is going to do with all that beef jerky. You don’t want to know.

Tags:

#Red vs Blue #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog

Fic: A Wrench in the Works (Jensen, Lopez)

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

eponymous-rose:

Katie Jensen, mechanic extraordinaire, meets her counterpart on Red Team. Some things don’t need translation.

Minor spoilers for 13×02. Written for this week’s rvb60min challenge.

[AO3 | FFN | 2015 Fic | 2014 Fic]

“Hi,” he says. “I’m Lopez. Apparently I’m supposed to help you with the warped axle on this Warthog.”

Okay, no, what he actually says is more along the lines of “Hi, I’m Lopez, something something something me something something car something-that-maybe-means-pencil,” because Katie Jensen failed miserably every time she tried to learn another language and Spanish class back in high school was no exception.

“Um,” she says. She recognizes him as one of the Reds and Blues, but doesn’t know him, which means he was probably one of the people on the Fed side of the fence. She’s been so busy the past few weeks that introductions have been kinda low on the priority list. “Hi, Lopez. I’m Katie. Sorry. I don’t speak Spanish.”

He grunts, folds his arms, mutters something.

“But you understand English, huh?” She brightens. “Wait, no, hang on a sec!” It takes her a moment to shuffle out from under the Warthog and dig up her pack, but right at the bottom is the ancient little datapad, and she crows victoriously when she finds it still has a bit of charge. “Hah! Got it!”

Lopez is still watching her, arms folded.

“Translator,” she says. “If you speak real slow and clear, it’s usually pretty good.”

Lopez jolts, takes a step closer. He says something that the translator picks up; she shows him the word Seriously? as it prints across the screen.

Read More

Tags:

#Red vs Blue #rvb13 #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #fanfic

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

eponymous-rose:

Math prof: …and the foundation of this method is that our function can be split into a base state and perturbation. So alpha is split into beta and epsilon.

Me: *strangled noise*

Math prof: Of course, we can further split epsilon…

Me: *coughing fit*

Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #Red vs Blue

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

anneapocalypse:

The tension between the Director and the Counselor stems from the fact that the Counselor is a better war criminal than the Director. The Counselor has helped to administrate no less than nine military programs easy comparable to Freelancer in terms of atrocities committed, though he’s never listed on the payroll as anything more than a “consultant” and he makes sure to thoroughly document his objections to any and all questionable decisions, because documentation is an important part of any scientific endeavor.

The Counselor has an appreciation for subtlety. The Counselor is not merely a scientist but an artist, and knows exactly which lines can be crossed during wartime without consequence, and which cannot.

The Director is brash and unsubtle and this is a constant point of annoyance for the Counselor, whose experience in the field has given him a nuanced understanding of precisely when, for example, a MAC cannon may be fired at a civilian target without substantial repercussions, and when it cannot. (The former is a short list. Actually, it’s not so much a list as a complex algorithm taking into account no less than 30 data points relating to recent Covenant and Insurrectionist activity as well as public opinion regarding the UNSC and the state of the war. The Counselor has this algorithm programmed into his phone. It calculates in approximately seven seconds, based on currently available data.)

The Counselor also possesses a nuanced understanding of how public opinion shifts in peacetime, and has passed his meager free time for the past decade or so quietly and thoroughly preparing an exit strategy and a new identity which he is fully prepared to assume in the event that the war ever ends. The strategy shifts only slightly depending on the outcome of the war.

Dr. Church, the Counselor thinks (with exasperation, if not without a certain amount of affection) is an oaf and a clumsy excuse for a war criminal. Be a better war criminal, sir. Aim higher.

Tags:

#Red vs Blue #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

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epsilontucker:

Leaderboard in the locker rooms, leaderboard while you plan missions, leaderboard while you train, leaderboard while you’re in class where there’s a window to the training room so you can look at the leaderboard in there too just in case you missed the leaderboard right next to the damn window, leaderboard in another part of the locker rooms, leaderboard in the recovery ward so that you can stare at the goddamn leaderboard just in case your grievous wounds fail to remind you that you fucked up, leaderboard in the damn mess hall so you can look at it while you cry into your mashed potatoes,

Tags:

#Red vs Blue #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

eponymous-rose:

falling-towards-the-sky:

Has anybody… taken a tally of all the places the leaderboard was put up, though? It seems like it was posted in several rooms all over the MoI and I’m not gonna lie, that’s kinda creepy. 

But now I’m just picturing it everywhere. Like, Freelancers waking up in the morning and there it is, projected on the ceiling above their beds. Someone goes into a bathroom stall and you hear, “I know I lost a ranking, what happened to the sports page?” Check inside your locker? Leaderboard. Pick up a toothbrush? Look again, the leaderboard’s projected on your teeth. The Counselor’s getting concerned. The Director thinks it’s great for productivity.

Tags:

#Red vs Blue #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog

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~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

notjustsharksfanart:

these are getting more elaborate and less good by the minute but Church had to get his aim from somewhere

#[panel 1: cloaked tex in an innie facility] #[panel 2: cloaked tex hitting a switch and opening an escape route] #[panel 3: cloaked tex jumping out the escape route while flipping off the innies] #[panel 4: tex: ‘this is agent texas reporting in. i got the intel. ready for evac.’ director: ‘did anyone see you?’] #[panel 5: tex: ‘i don’t fuckin’ know command. why does it matter?’] #[panel 6: director *in dramatic closeup* ‘we must leave NO EVIDENCE’] #[panel 7: director hits a button marked LAZER very dramatically] #[panel 8: MOI firing at the planet with a LAZER NOISE] #[panel 9: giant explosion just to the left of the facility] #[panel 10: tex staring] #[panel 11: tex: ‘you fucking missed’] (eponymous-rose)

Tags:

#Red vs Blue #fanart #comic #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog

akisawana asked: Tucker wished, suddenly and desperately, for his father.

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

eponymous-rose:

See, the thing about Wash was that the guy would probably live out the rest of his days eating nothing but military-issue ration bars. Given the chance, he’d stoically chew his way to the eventual heat-death of the universe. And Caboose might have a sweet tooth big enough to bore down to the center of the planet, but put him anywhere near an oven and just, you know. Fire. Death. Explosions. Screaming. All that good stuff.

So basically what this all boiled down to was that Tucker was currently the only person in Blue Base who, as the son of a moderately famous pastry chef, had the first idea how to bake a cake.

“Listen up, fuckers,” he said. Caboose blinked at him. The rest of the room echoed emptily  “Fucker,“ he amended. “I’m sick of what passes for food around here, so I am gonna bake a cake, I am gonna do it once, it is gonna be fucking incredible, and we are never gonna speak of it again.”

Caboose’s voice rose to a deafening stage-whisper. “Is it Agent Wash’s birthday?”

“Sure,” Tucker said. “That works. Fuck it. Happy birthday, Agent Asshole. And what I need from you, Caboose, is—”

“To be as far away from the kitchen as humanly possible,” Caboose intoned.

“Farther,” said Tucker, checking one of the base’s cupboards for something he could use as a substitute for eggs. “Why are all the cupboards full of beef jerky?”

He glanced up. The kitchen counter was, impossibly, on a whole lot of fire. “Tucker did it,” Caboose said.

Tucker sighed and rested his forehead against the cheap plastic of the wall, trying to drag back childhood memories of a warm kitchen and raised, laughing voices. The smell of fresh dough. The smell of burning sugar. He wondered, vaguely, whether the Sangheili had pasty chefs.

Then he sighed and reached out for the extinguisher, which was, of course, already on fire.

Tags:

#Red vs Blue #fanfic #food #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

epsilontucker:

deductionhunters 

lieutenantjohnsmith

epsilontucker:

Welcome to project freelancer! The leaderboard is a psychology experiment. The AIs are experimental ethical violations. The armor is an experimental deathtrap. Half the weaponry is stolen. There is only one apparatus aboard the Mother of Invention that is not dangerous, experimental, or an ethical violation and it is the vending machine.

Scratch that, it has been brought to our attention the vending machine dispenses the occasional live grenade.
Addendum: We have just discovered that several of the items in the vending machine are, in fact, highly explosive/corrosive and/or venomous and, thus, the vending machine is entirely unsafe as well. We sincerely apologise for any inconvenience in attaining your choice of beverages or snacks.

and this is why agent washington only eats fruit

#South Dakota‚ an insatiable dorito junkie‚ continues to brave the dangers of the vending machine#victorious she emerges in a cloud of smoke and embers‚#triumphantly licking nacho cheese dust from her fingertips.

#it succumbed #rip the vending machine’s innocence #now it’s turning tricks for more ethics to violate instead of attending vending machine school #for its vending degree (metatextuality)

Tags:

#Red vs Blue #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog