Today I had the revelation that my half orc has 30ft speed, but because she’s a monk, her unarmored movement is +10ft at Level 3. Using the ki feature Breath of the Wind, she can dash as a bonus action meaning she can go 80ft in a turn.
If anyone cast Haste on my dear sweet Marfu, she would go 160 in six seconds.
At her most perfect Level 20 self’s unarmored movement of +30, she could go a max 120ft in a turn, or 240ft hasted. With 20 ki points to spend that could mean a solid two minutes of going almost 30 miles per hour and I think that’s beautiful.
Grab yourself the mobile feat for that extra 10ft base movement
We’re up to a max of 210/420 (lol) feet per six seconds which is 47 MPH. I feel like we’re crowdsourcing this monk at this point to make her as game-breakingly fast as possible.
BETTER MAKE THAT 94MPH
I quote the 5th Edition rulebook:
Boots of Speed
While you wear these boots, you can use a Bonus Action and click the boots’ heels together. If you do, the boots double your walking speed, and any creature that makes an opportunity attack against you has disadvantage on the Attack roll. If you click your heels together again, you end the effect.
When the boots’ property has been used for a total of ten minutes, the magic ceases to function until you finish a Long Rest.
Are you telling me Haste and Boots of Speed STACK?! Oh my god we’ve discovered the real Fast Travel function
Oh shit mom’s home everyone hide the Speed
Tags:
#puns #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(the pun at the end) #D&D #fun with loopholes #my past self has good taste #may or may not have reblogged this before #(I think it might have been a different chain though) #drugs mention
We named our roomba Torture (because it was better than dust specks)
Tags:
#puns #high context jokes #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #((this amusement not to be taken as expressing an opinion regarding the statement itself))
god, EVERY YEAR one of the local churches puts up a big sign that says “HE IS RISEN”, and EVERY YEAR whenever I see it I just think “OH HE IS, IS HE??? WELL IF HE IS RISEN THEN HE WILL NOT BE ALLOWED AT MY SEDER, LEAVENED MESSIAHS ARE NOT KOSHER FOR PASSOVER!!!”
I also post about this on my blog every year but
that’s okay
because
IT’S OBJECTIVELY HILARIOUS
EVERY
YEAR
Tags:
#Tumblr traditions #Passover #Easter #puns #this post was queued to ensure proper timing
Update: my boss was talking about how he was really excited for an entire week of vacation and was wondering what he should do, so I looked him dead in the eye and told him, with a straight face,
“You should visit the local Zoo, I heard it’s really nice.”
Under pain of death I am no longer allowed to make any zoo related jokes.
So I’m in the kangaroo yard and my boss says “they need more water, hop to it.” And I kind of look at him not sure if he said that on purpose but he looks back with such horror and just whispers “I hope you’re happy” and walks away.
Brinens and Things 