A fantasy book where many characters have dramatic High Fantasy epithets, but for incredibly non-dramatic reasons.
An adventurer known as The Herald of Dawn, but it’s because she tends to wake up naturally at 4 or 5 am and every single fucking time wakes up the whole damn camp before sunrise by banging pots and pans together while making herself breakfast.
A nobleman known as The Lord of Shadows, but it’s because his land is shaded from all sides by cliffs and mountains and all the other nobility are roasting this guy for not being able to grow or farm anything on his shitty, shady, no-sunshine-having estates.
A courtesan known as The Emerald of [location], but it’s because the county she was born in is known for manufacturing forged jewels and gemstones, and so far she is the fakest pretty thing to ever come from there.
An assassin known as The Kiss of Death, but it’s because he has somehow acquired every single known and documented STD in his mouth.
The Dark Huntress, named so to distinguish her from The Blonde Huntress.
A prince known as The Raven Prince, but it’s because he’s autistic and can and WILL tell you everything that is known about ravens, for five hours straight.
The Fallen King, named for falling off his horse, and deciding to build his kingdom there (because his horse ran off).
The Chosen One, ruler of a democratic state
Tags:
#overly literal interpretations #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #illness tw? #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
Hoping praying that somewhere out there is a shrimp therian who knows how to fry rice
I knew there was justice in this cruel world…
Tags:
#food #overly literal interpretations #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #(…I can’t quite tag this ”it got better” because it got better *before the first post left my queue*) #(so I am simply replacing that post with this new-and-improved version) #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
“…named for Robion Kirby, is a method for modifying framed links…”
{{Original alt text: “Pencil sketch: Kirby eagerly holds up a paper chain of friend links”}}
“…in the 3-sphere using a finite set of moves, the Kirby moves.”
{{Original alt text: “Pencil sketch: Kirby, still excited, imagines three spherical Kirbies performing moves like Float, Dodge, and Slide”}}
“Using four-dimensional Cerf theory, he proved that if M and N are 3-manifolds…”
{{Original alt text: “Pencil sketch: Kirby contentedly theorises surfing in another dimension”}}
“…resulting from Dehn surgery on framed links L and J respectively…”
{{Original alt text: “Pencil sketch: Does Dehn surgery need a dentist? Doctor Kirby is confused but his bonesaw and drill are ready”}}
“…then they are homeomorphic if and only if L and J are related by a sequence of Kirby moves.”
{{Original alt text: “Pencil sketch: Doctor Kirby happily waves a little gay pride flag even though he isn’t sure how it relates to dentistry”}}
“According to the Lickorish-Wallace theorem, any closed orientable 3-manifold is obtained by such surgery on some link in the 3-sphere.”
{{Original alt text: “Pencil sketch: OHHHH if you perform dental surgery on your friend links you can obtain licorice! Everything makes sense now, Doctor Kirby waves his flag and drill more joyfully than ever”}}
Tags:
#make sure to read the alt text #art #overly literal interpretations #Kirby #adorable #embarrassment squick? #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
#art #overly literal interpretations #fun with loopholes #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
i think the funniest possible star trek viewing order might be strictly chronological.
you’d have to start with that Voyager episode where they go to before the Big Bang, then work your way through every other time travel episode, the one with the whales, and First Contact before you even get close to anything approaching a normal viewing order.
at some point you’d have to watch “City on The Edge of Forever” followed by “Little Green Men” followed by “Far Beyond the Stars” which is about the most tonal whiplash you could possibly get from three consecutive episodes of star trek. I think I want to try this now.
I think this might actually kill you so if anyone does this, tell me if it gives you the adult equivalent of shaken baby syndrome.
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#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #Star Trek #overly literal interpretations #death tw? #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
“Yes, but if I say have a good morning, I’ll only have well-wished thirty minutes of your day, whereas if I say have a good afternoon, I’ll be applying it to hours and hours. The advantage is clear.”
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #overly literal interpretations #got a point there #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
1-9: Item: a regular Butter Knife; can cut everything like butter, which is to say it cuts through anything that is similar to butter and nothing else.
10: Item: the Butter Knife; can cut everything like butter, as in through any substance with similar ease to that with which a normal knife can cut through butter.
Tags:
#overly literal interpretations #fun with loopholes #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
Brinens and Things 