Moo-thematics.
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#cow #math #puns #(sort of)
math
The list of large cardinals properties from mathematics sounds like a hierarchy of bishops in a welcome to nightvale version of the Catholic Church. Here is an edited highlight to read to yourself in
Cecil Baldwin’s voice.Small Cardinals
Worldly Cardinals
Inaccessible Cardinals
Reflecting Cardinals
Totally Indescribable Cardinals.
Shrewd Cardinals
Ethereal Cardinals
Subtle Cardinals
Almost Ineffable, Ineffable and Totally Ineffable Cardinals
Remarkable Cardinals
Strong Cardinals
Tall Cardinals
Super Strong Cardinals
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#(this appears to all be legitimate mathematical jargon) #Welcome to Night Vale #I haven’t even listened to that show in ages and I could still hear it in Cecil’s voice #math
So in lore, vampires have this trait that I’ve almost never seen used, and that’s the fact that vampires are OBSESSED with counting things. Like, the Count on Sesame Street was almost certainly created specifically as a vampire because of this piece of lore.
Like, I read this vampire book years and years ago that explained that a surefire way to protect yourself from vampires getting into your house was to spread a ton of seeds on your doorstep–poppy and mustard seeds were particularly recommended for the purpose. Basically, if you suspected someone to be a vampire, all you had to do was drop a sackful of seeds on the ground in front of them.
If they didn’t immediately start counting them, they were not a vampire. However, if they WERE a vampire, they’d be seized with the urge to count all the seeds and they would not budge from that spot until they knew how many seeds there were in total. The point was to keep them there until the sun came up and killed them, because if they hadn’t counted all the seeds by sunrise they wouldn’t be able to leave. Presumably you could just go about the rest of your evening as normal, though no word on whether it’s possible to make them lose count and start over.
Having remembered this piece of lore, I want fewer stories about brooding tortured Edward Cullen-esque vampires. I want to start seeing more stories about math nerd vampires.
Vampire accountants who are an honest company’s best asset and a corrupt company’s bane because they are frighteningly accurate with the accounts and will not hesitate to blow the whistle on a CEO scamming money because fuck you for making the numbers wrong.
Vampire cashiers that don’t need to look at the register screen because they already mentally calculated your total. 10-items-or-less vampires who know goddamn well you have 20 items in that basket and NO, you cannot just slip in with the rest.
Vampire math tutors who are constantly in high demand and have to hold lotteries to see who gets to be tutored by them.
MATH NERD VAMPIRES
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#vampires #story ideas I will never write
Now, are you ready for me to blow your mind? Imagine a circle with a radius r = infinity. How big is that circle? See, you all are lucky that you are alive in Oregon in 2016 where the stuff you need to help you contemplate these things is completely legal and widely available.
Calculus Professor explaining why saying the radius of convergence is R=infinity makes no sense
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#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #drugs cw
Anonymous asked: Was there previously a 0 in your URL, or did I imagine that?
there has never been a 0 in my url
I have never once been able to read your URL as “Ozymandias Two Seven One.” It’s always “Ozymandias 27182818…”, “Ozymandias e”, or in extreme cases “ozymandiase”, and I don’t speak enough biochemistry to know what that enzyme even does.
On the other hand, it took me MONTHS to realize that was e. Embarrassing.
It helps to have known their previous username :D
I did! I still didn’t figure it out!
…well shit.
Um.
*awkward*
(I never noticed and it’s been maybe a year and I’ve been working with natural exponentials and logarithms in math class)
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#(although to be fair I’ve been using the e button on my calculator) #(so the actual *value* of e doesn’t come up that much) #(maybe if we were using approximations I’d have figured it out) #reply via reblog #math
Consider the set S of people living in the town of Newville. Which of the following correspondences specify a function? Explain.
(A) Each person in Newville (input) is paired with his or her mother (output).
[…]
[Answer section:]
(A) This correspondence specifies a function; each person has exactly one mother.
@sinesalvatorem, saw this in my math textbook and thought of you.
(“But have you considered lesbians? Therefore, your argument is invalid.”)
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#I’m going to throw in a complaint while giving them a list of the typoes I’ve noticed in the first two chapters #apparently a bunch of errors snuck in during the ebook conversion process and they didn’t think to have it re-proofread afterward #they haven’t managed to get it proofread *properly* (i.e. by someone getting paid to comb through it carefully) #but they *did* fix the typoes in Appendix A I pointed out to them #so I’m going to keep them updated on the others I stumble across for the good of the class #(I’m not going to call them homophobic or anything) #(I’m going to say that the phrasing was ambiguous about whether to account for the possibility of lesbians and it confused me) #(which is true) #oh look an original post #adventures in University Land
astrogasmic:
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#poetry #math
Procrastinating on Wikipedia and found this…
So there’s a pretty long tradition in math of people coming up with problems they can’t solve, and talking to their friends, and realizing that nobody they know can solve them either, and then announcing to the world that you would get some sort of prize if someone could solve them.
Usually the prize is a small amount of money.
Sometimes, if someone is really cocky, or the problem is known to be really hard, it’s a lot of money.
And sometimes there’s Stanisław Mazur, who offered a live goose as a prize for finding a particularly pathological object (a Banach space for which some compact operator is not the limit of finite-rank operators).
And then, Per Enflo did manage to find such an object. Today, there is photographic evidence that he did, in fact, receive his prize. Go look at that picture, and tell me that Enflo is not 100% pumped about his goose. The older Mazur, on the other hand, looks mostly like “WTF, this fool actually called my bluff”.
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#math #oh my god that picture
[image: A tweet by Johanna Fateman (@johannafateman)
people who mispronounce words because they learned them from reading independently are deserving of admiration not scorn
]
ALL of this. Encourage people to try new words, to mess them up, to experiment with vocabulary, to learn complicated adjectives and verbs and nouns, because words are fun.
Also, don’t be a jerk.
Like, I learned math from books. So of course the first time I talked about the “Lap-lace transform” I got some weird looks.
I wonder if that Euler guy and that Euclid guy were related? :) Since, you know, their names obviously begin with the same syllable.
(A friend I was hanging with last night learned programming on his own, so he says “ARray” rather than “arRAY,” which is rather charming actually.)
Wait it’s not pronounced “Lap-lace”? How is it pronounced?
Luh-PLOSS. More or less. (I’m from Indiana, even when I’m trying to pronounce French properly there’s a definite… lack of Frenchitude there. ^_^)
…I’m going to have to go look up the pronunciation of Euler now.
Tags:
#language #the more you know
Brinens and Things 