m4ge:

m4ge:

one of the most fascinating youtube subcultures imo is the MRE taste testing community…like those folks who get their hands on military ready to eat meals and do unboxings and taste tests of them? because usually theyre perfectly normal and just interested in testing what militaries around the world eat right now. but some of these folks go the extra mile. they go so hard they threaten to destroy themselves with their own hubris. some of these people are flying towards the sun at alarming rates and are going to not only melt their wings but also their 100 year old preserved foods, causing them to plummet to their deaths, their corpses reduced to stewing in the seawater mixed with the remains of the WWII soviet pea soup they brought with them. im watching a dude eat meat from a 1902 british military ration right now. my dude is deadass out here calmly trying to become the last casualty of the fucking second boer war. as an archivist and general antiques lover ive put my hands on some horrifyingly old and dirty things but the idea of ingesting legitimate american civil war hardtack makes me want to get my stomach surgically removed and i am just so FASCINATED by these people who see these military antiques and think “nice, there’s lunch right there”

“the smell is just awful” SIR you are BOILING cow meat that predates the FIRST WORLD WAR you are boiling beef from a cow that existed at the same time as ELIZABETH CADY STANTON sir this can of beef was canned during the fucking DREYFUS AFFAIR what pray tell WHAT did you EXPECT from this TURN OF THE CENTURY CAN OF MEAT


Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #food #history #in which Brin has a food poisoning phobia #unsanitary cw

500 Million, But Not a Single One More

{{Title link: http://blog.jaibot.com/?p=413 }}

jaiwithani:

We will never know their names.

The first victim could not have been recorded, for there was no written language to record it. They were someone’s daughter, or son, and someone’s friend, and they were loved by those around them. And they were in pain, covered in rashes, confused, scared, not knowing why this was happening to them or what they could do about it – victim of a mad, inhuman god. There was nothing to be done – humanity was not strong enough, not aware enough, not knowledgeable enough, to fight back against a monster that could not be seen.

It was in Ancient Egypt, where it attacked slave and pharaoh alike. In Rome, it effortlessly decimated armies. It killed in Syria. It killed in Moscow.  In India, five million dead. It killed a thousand Europeans every day in the 18th century. It killed more than fifty million Native Americans. From the Peloponnesian War to the Civil War, it slew more soldiers and civilians than any weapon, any soldier, any army (Not that this stopped the most foolish and empty souls from attempting to harness the demon as a weapon against their enemies).

Cultures grew and faltered, and it remained. Empires rose and fell, and it thrived. Ideologies waxed and waned, but it did not care. Kill. Maim. Spread. An ancient, mad god, hidden from view, that could not be fought, could not be confronted, could not even be comprehended. Not the only one of its kind, but the most devastating.

For a long time, there was no hope – only the bitter, hollow endurance of survivors.

In China, in the 10th century, humanity began to fight back.

It was observed that survivors of the mad god’s curse would never be touched again: they had taken a portion of that power into themselves, and were so protected from it. Not only that, but this power could be shared by consuming a remnant of the wounds. There was a price, for you could not take the god’s power without first defeating it – but a smaller battle, on humanity’s terms. By the 16th century, the technique spread, to India, across Asia, the Ottoman Empire and, in the 18th century, Europe. In 1796, a more powerful technique was discovered by Edward Jenner.

An idea began to take hold: Perhaps the ancient god could be killed.

A whisper became a voice; a voice became a call; a call became a battle cry, sweeping across villages, cities, nations. Humanity began to cooperate, spreading the protective power across the globe, dispatching masters of the craft to protect whole populations. People who had once been sworn enemies joined in common cause for this one battle. Governments mandated that all citizens protect themselves, for giving the ancient enemy a single life would put millions in danger.

And, inch by inch, humanity drove its enemy back. Fewer friends wept; Fewer neighbors were crippled; Fewer parents had to bury their children.

At the dawn of the 20th century, for the first time, humanity banished the enemy from entire regions of the world. Humanity faltered many times in its efforts, but there individuals who never gave up, who fought for the dream of a world where no child or loved one would ever fear the demon ever again. Viktor Zhdanov, who called for humanity to unite in a final push against the demon; The great tactician Karel Raška, who conceived of a strategy to annihilate the enemy; Donald Henderson, who led the efforts of those final days.

The enemy grew weaker. Millions became thousands, thousands became dozens. And then, when the enemy did strike, scores of humans came forth to defy it, protecting all those whom it might endanger.

The enemy’s last attack in the wild was on Ali Maow Maalin, in 1977. For months afterwards, dedicated humans swept the surrounding area, seeking out any last, desperate hiding place where the enemy might yet remain.

They found none.

35 years ago, on December 9th, 1979, humanity declared victory.

This one evil, the horror from beyond memory, the monster that took 500 million people from this world – was destroyed.

You are a member of the species that did that. Never forget what we are capable of, when we band together and declare battle on what is broken in the world.

Happy Smallpox Eradication Day.


Tags:

#Tumblr traditions #illness tw #proud citizen of The Future #history #anniversaries

{{previous post in sequence}}


i-change-too-often:

peteseeger:

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You can tell how long someone’s been on tumblr by whether or not this image evokes primal emotions in them

I’m too tired for this


Tags:

#oh look an update #history #food #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #unreality cw #(I hope Perchu’s okay and doesn’t regret it) #(there is nothing wrong with being performatively over-the-top anti-Moreo) #((and if you *do* end up with like 20 cookies and no icing left feel free to give them to me))

sigmaleph:

i always feel irrationally angry at Things (posters, ads, whatever) that specify something is happening on some date but not the year. i see them, some unspecified time in the future, and suffer burning curiosity

won’t someone please think of the future
[Original post]


Tags:

#yes this

prokopetz:

prokopetz:

Honestly, the PC upgrade cycle having slowed to a crawl is kind of a relief; I remember what it was like when things were the other way ‘round. You’d buy a brand new, top of the line gaming PC, and three months later the latest games wouldn’t run because their minimum requirements exceeded your machine’s specs – and you couldn’t even think about upgrading, because each new generation of video cards required a new type of slot that your theoretically cutting-edge motherboard didn’t have. Heck, I recall games whose recommended system specs just plain didn’t exist on the consumer market at the time of release – publishers were so keen on staying ahead of the curve that they’d develop games based on what they imagined the next generation of gaming PCs would look like, and the gaming mags would give them nine out of ten in spite of the fact that they ran at about twelve fps on any reasonable setup, purely on the basis of how they might play if consumer hardware ever caught up with the developer’s speculations!

@fell-reverie replied:

Is this about Crysis

Crysis was either the era’s swan song or a slight throwback, depending on who you ask. There was a span of the better part of a decade – from about the mid 1990s to the early/mid 2000s – where nearly every AAA PC title was like that in terms of being designed for purely speculative hardware. And a fair number of non-AAA titles, for that matter; at one point I ran into a fucking Frogger clone whose minimum VRAM exceeded what most consumer video cards were bringing to the table at the time of its release.


Tags:

#a chorus of past selves: ”twelve whole FPS?? sign us *up*” #I assured them that we do get more than 12 FPS now #and on an eight-year-old laptop! #(admittedly it was top of the line back in 2011) #(and I don’t really go in for the *super*-high-graphic kinds of games) #games #history #(close enough)

armoredavengers:

I love Keanu Reeves and the recent surge of love and appreciation for him warms my heart but I dread to think what’ll happen the moment you demons have had enough of him and start digging up/making up “problematic” shit he did or said when he was like 20 or something

 

smoothbrownrectangles:

Yes but it’d be hard to go all the way back to the 14th century just to dig up dirt on one guy

 

sexshopshenanigans:

Keanu Reeves sold bad copper and was rude to messengers and sent them back empty-handed through foreign territory and I for one am sick of everybody just giving him a pass for the whole thing when we have over a dozen cuneiform tablets documenting his bad behaviour.

 

crumplelush:

Keanu Reeves committed bakery fraud in Ancient Rome

 

scrapironfloaties:

Keanu Reeves took part in the sack of Constantinople

 

humanfist:

Keanu Reeves cut ahead of women and other children to get on the last Atlantean lifeboat. 


Tags:

#Keanu Reeves #history #our roads may be golden or broken or lost #unreality cw #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #the humour of my people #discourse cw?

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fuckyeahbiguys:

We’ve waited a year to reblog this. Happy Bread Anniversary!

Because it’s important to celebrate the little victories in life.


Tags:

#Tumblr traditions #food #this pairs weirdly with the post queued for ~50 minutes from now #but both are Tumblr traditions and I shall post them both

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kvothes:

i fucking love alan turing

(from “the secret life of bletchley park” by sinclair mckay)


Tags:

#history #World War II #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #fun with loopholes #(…does that loophole actually work though?) #(just because you don’t *understand* something doesn’t mean it’s not *true*)